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Idiots Of The Web, Volume 4

 

IDIOTS OF THE WEB

Volume 4

Here we go again with another installment of Idiots Of The Web, and this time we find ourselves back at the Metal Edge Bulletin Board, home of the ignorant.   A majority of the people that post over their have a room temperature IQ. 

This starts off with a post from Sleazy Steve, who has posted a bunch of equally stupid shit on our own Gossip Board.  But I will have to thank Steve, because had it not been for him, I wouldn’t be writing Idiots Of The Web, Volume 4.  So thanks Steve!  But Steve isn’t the major star here, that’s saved for Gerri Miller.  

Sleazy Steve thinks he’s Columbo and has "discovered" who is behind Metal Sludge.  So he did what any good detective would do, he posted it on the Metal Edge Bulletin Board.

sleazysteve
Junior Member
 posted 07-01-99 05:34 PM   

I figured it out…

The Metal $ludge staff is:

Jizzy Pearl
Gideon Cullman
Johnny Crypt
Chris Van Dahl

There is more info about this posted on the Metal $ludge message board but if you want to read it, I’d do so quickly because I’m sure they don’t want their names up there so they’ll take it down.

SS

A few days went by after that post, and then Sleepy Steve posted this gem.


sleazysteve
Junior Member
posted 07-06-99 10:10 AM        

Metal $ludge has pretty much confirmed the fact the Gerri, Jizzy, Gideon, Johnny, and Chris are behind Metal $ludge.

There are no announcements confirming it, but none denying it either. Furthermore, they took down almost all of the posts regarding the issue off their board (ala Gerri Miller style). Why would they take them down unless it was true?

SS

Sleazy Steve is a little slow.  He’s got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together, know what I mean?  He’s a Sludgeaholic, but obviously took the "special" bus to school.  Had Sloppy Steve actually looked at our board, he would have seen all his posts were still there.  We didn’t delete anything.  Stupid ass.  Open mouth, insert foot.

But here is where it gets good!  Gerri responded to his "accusations" that she is behind Metal Sludge. 


Mtledge
Administrator
 posted 07-06-99 11:09 AM         

If you stopped to think for a second you’d see how ridiculous the notion that I had ANYTHING to do with that site is! I have never even GONE there, much less had anything to do with it, and why would I trash myself? Absurd! And if you continue to perpetuate this lie here, sleazysteve, you will be blocked!!

Now Ger, who are we kidding?  You’ve never, EVER, stopped by our glorious website?  NEGRO PLEASE!  If you’ve never stopped by, then how do you know what we are about?  Good old Gerri, if somebody speaks their mind, they get banned! 

Now here is something that isn’t stupid, but I thought I’d throw this down.  It’s about Jizzy Pearl.


mr.metal
Member
 posted 07-06-99 04:43 PM      

yeah ,i just asked jizzy at a show and i asked about if he raN THAT SITE,HE WAS KINDA LIKE,AH,I DON’T KNOW,….THEN HE SAID NAH,BUT HE LIKES THE SITE AND TOLD ME TO POST ON THIER BOARD THAT I SAW HIM AND HE SAID HE IS……JUST TO GET PEOPLE(WHO POST AND GO THERE BLAMING HIM AND OTHERS OF BEING THE PEOPLE WHO RUN IT) TALKING BS ABOUT SOMETHING THEY THINK THEY KNOW ABOUT!!,OTHER THAN THAT HE THINKS IT’S FUNNY

Everybody knows Jizzy isn’t behind Metal Sludge.  Tom Mathers is!  (Just kidding Tom.  That was called a joke.  Please don’t sue us for "one million dollars.")


sleazysteve
Junior Member
 posted 07-06-99 04:56 PM      

Gerri,

First of all, I don’t want to perpetuate any lies. There are just several signs that you are involved.

Metal $ludge may rip on you, but in doing so you have become the star of the site. If anyone didn’t know who you were before, they sure do now. Any publicity is good publicity. It would seem to be very profitable that you get a lot of publicity before your book comes out. Not to mention, I am sure that the Metal $ludge site doesn’t hurt Metal Edge’s web visitors either since they are so connected.

I am sure that you do visit the Metal $ludge site so I know that you know of all the reasons behind why you, Jizzy, Gideon, Chris, and Johnny are behind the site.

So far, the only reason I have to believe you is that you haven’t deleted this post to hide the truth. Good move, Jani Bon Neil!

I do question why a good Metal Edge advertiser such as Tom "Mr Angry Pants/Retard Boy/Dr. Evil" Mathers would be exposed as such an a-hole and that he runs a music store rather than a label. That could be bad business.

Either way, the $ludge is very entertaining and works well with Metal Edge. I am sure your book will sell great!

Your friend,

Sleazy Steve

Shitty Steve, Gerri isn’t Jani Bon Neil.  Jizzy Pearl is Jani Bo…..uh, I mean, uh….so hey, have you been watching the X-Games.  That’s some cool fucking shit.  One guy did this jump on a bike and he spun around in the air.  It was the shit.  Great fucking stuff.  Yeah….Let’s move on.  NOW!

And what’s this about Gerri writing a book?  Good Gawd!  It’ll be a book of 870 pictures and it’ll be "here’s me with Pretty Boy Floyd" and "here’s me with Hurricane Alice" and "here’s me with Britny Fox," etc.  You know it’ll be just like that. 

Here’s another golden response from Gerri.


Mtledge
Administrator
posted 07-06-99 06:22 PM          

For the last time, Sleazysteve, I don’t know or care who is behind it, but I have NOTHING to do with that site! I don’t agree with you that any publicity is good publicity. I don’t want that kind of ‘stardom’ and if it were up to me the site would disappear–which is what you are going to do if you keep carping on this! Drop it!

So if you had your way Gerri, you’d make us disappear?  What are you, David Copperfield now?  As usual, if Gerri doesn’t like you, she wants you to disappear.  Just like all the bands she didn’t like and never covered in Metal Edge.  How professional is that?  Get a grip Gerri, your backstage passes have vanished just like your hair.  It’s called KARMA.  You went from being an Editor at a magazine to moderating a silly message board used by acne farmers.  Your on Top Of The World!   Oh, I forgot, you also wrote a bio for the new Great White CD!  There’s a pay day!  Riddle me this Gerri, if you’ve NEVER been to our site, then why do you hate us so much?  How do you know what we are about if you’ve never been to the site?  Do you just take people’s word that we are "bad", so you instantly hate us?  Why do you have the word ‘sludge’ blocked out from the Metal Edge Bulletin Board if you’ve NEVER been to our site?  Can’t you be honest for once? 

The fact is, even if we didn’t goof on you and make your life a living hell, you’d still hate us.  You hate all your competition.  You hated Rip Magazine, Hit Parader, Circus, Metallix, Livewire, Shout, etc.  You’d talk shit about Lonn Friend, Andy Secher, and anybody else who gave you a run for your money.   You probably don’t even like Paul Gargano.  I’ve even heard that you’ve given little Internet newsletters a hard time.   What’s your problem?  Why are you so hung up on yourself.  I mean, sure, your 7 feet tall and every carnies dream, but so fucking what?   And if it wasn’t for you, there wouldn’t be a Metal Sludge!  So we thank you.  Your making our dreams come true!!  But just like Tonya Harding, you’re old news, and we really don’t talk much about you anymore.  But occasionally, like right now, we have to slap you in the mouth so you know your role. 

The final nail in your coffin will be coming September 1st, on our one year anniversary.  I know you’ll love it!

Later Freaks,

OZZY STILLBOURNE

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