MAY SWEEPS MAILBAG!
It’s May Sweeps, which means not only the end of Friends, but a new mailbag from Metal Sludge! I feel bad for the cast of Friends since by me putting up this mailbag, it’ll overshadow their last show and not get as much press, but that’s show business.
For those of you wondering about our "Hey, That’s What I Call Sludge" CD, I’d just like to say that APRIL FOOLS! You guys actually thought that was real!!! We kept it up for over a month just to make it look legit! Fucking idiots, all of you!
No, actually, I’m just kidding. The real story is that it’s at the printers as I type this and it’ll be in our hands next week. It should be sent out to everybody between May 11th and May 14th. The reason it took a bit longer than we thought is because the underage kids we were paying $2 an hour to put our CDs together are lazy and not motivated to get the job done. Kids just don’t know a good deal when they see one. Anyway, we WILL have the CDs next week so be sure to order now while supplies last!
Right now, our CD has been certified Plastic! We hope to hit Aluminum by the end of the month!
I’ve said this before, but I’m going to try and do more mailbags. Of course I probably won’t, but it always looks good if I say it. Makes it look like I care.
This first email is from Murderdolls and recently Exposed victim, Wednesday 13!
Holy Shit!!! I’ve been exposed. Oh well, my mullet days are among the public now. Most people cower over in humiliation after these things are made public, but not me I’m the guy who listens to Nitro on a regular basis. Just wanted to let you know the stories behind those PICS. The pic with the caption "Business in the front, party in the back," I was a happy member of the Tuff Fan club. The picture that you have captioned ‘Spooky," you can’t see it but I have a hanging snake earring, that’s gotta count for being a little spooky…well not really. The pic with the "feathered hair" that’s my "Saved by the bell" Zack Morris look. The Pic that’s "a little darker but not quite there"…that was my "Non stop to nowhere" Faster pussycat look…guess I was way off.
By the way, thanks for giving me my own page on Sludge. Wednesday13.com has been revised and has some news on some of my upcoming adventures. Till next time …
Zero Out Now.
Thanks Wednesday. Looks like it’s time for a Rewind with Wednesday so we’ll have to get on that.
Speaking of the Tuff Fan Club, a month or so ago, Stevie Rachelle wrote his Road Story about a brother and sister and here’s an email from one of them, Todd Arnold!
Hey Metal Sludge
I just wanted to say THANK YOU for posting Stevie Rachelle’s Road Stories #2 article about me and my sister Michelle.
Stevie told me he was writing a story about us but I never dreamed it would be posted on Metal Sludge. This is so awesome. I have been a huge fan of your site and can’t believe I’m mentioned on it. It’s truly a honor.
I also wanted to say thanks to all the Sludgeaholics who have either e-mailed or instant message me regarding the story. The outpouring of love and support I have received from Sludgeaholics across the country has been tremendous.
Keep up the good work guys, your site ROCKS!!!
P.S. By the way, how about asking Ozzy Stillbourne to hook me up with some backstage passes for the Aerosmith concert I’m going to, LOL
Todd, Ozzy Stillbourne would love to hook you up with backstage passes to Aerosmith, but considering that no alcohol is allowed backstage at Aerosmith, you won’t find Ozzy Stillbourne having any backstage passes whatsoever. He’ll be that guy in the parking lot passed out in the back of a pickup truck before the show even starts. But if you need anything else, we’ll always see what we can do!
Recent 10 Questions band Slavemachine got a record deal! Here’s the news on that.
just letting you guys know that one of the 10 question bands, Slavemachine, recently signed with Reality Entertainment…Godhead, Marcy Playground, etc..,.. not sure if you guys knew or not but putting them on Sludge probably didn’t hurt!! lol
10 Questions = Record Deal!
See, I knew we should have had them on our CD. Just because a guy has a lazy eye and doesn’t regularly brush, nobody takes me serious.
Speaking of 10 Questions, this is from last week’s band, Evick.
OK, So you guys are super busy I know and you have heard from me to much.
But Jesus man In just 3 days I have heard from so many people.
People I haven’t seen in years , some have been rockstars that decided to say hi and thanks for the comments.
Haven’t heard from VINCE or the DARKNESS though.
I also have new interviews and reviews already set up with mags in Brazil and Italy because of you.
Not that I don’t keep busy as a one man promo machine, but you guys have made my next few weeks alot fucking easier and more satisfying than the norm usually are.
So since I can give you a personal by name thanks I really need to say to who ever you are Thank you so much for the opportunity. I hope other bands as fortunate as me to have done a 10 questions, use it as the fucking tool that it is to jump start there career a little bit.
I don’t know what I can do but if you guys knew me you would know that no favor goes unreturned, if there is ever anything I can do for you guys please just ask. Be it promo related, studio recording or mastering related, or you need a band to do one of your extravaganzas. I will be there in a second
Thanks so much
10 Questions = press and exposure! Good to see bands that are smart enough to take advantage of answering our stupid questions.
Two Warrant reviews!
Review #1 – Warrant sucks
Warrant Plays Christian Club in Ft. Worth, TX
I am not sure if this is the curse of Obi Steinman or what, but the names Warrant and Christian Club do not seem to go together. You can see that Warrant is scheduled to play premier festivals and venues like the House of Blues on their tour itinerary, but a Christian club? That’s like Carman playing on the next Rock Never Stops Tour.
Warrant was scheduled to play The Asylum in Ft. Worth, Texas. For being a Christian Club the name doesn’t seem to fit. The club’s website says "BYOB." Not bring your own beer, but "Bring Your Own Bibles." I am not kidding! It says this on their site. No alcohol is served, no smoking, and all opening acts will be spreading the word of Jesus Christ. Now, when I think of Warrant, I think of the soundtrack to my youth, getting laid, and an entertaining show. Well, no one was going to get laid at this show and no one was having a good time – that’s for sure. The show was not mentioned on radio, or advertized by the venue. If only Christian bands play this place, what makes anyone think that they are going to be coming out to do the Warrant High Sign on a Friday night? To make it worse, this venue was out in the middle of nowhere – right next to a junkyard and in front of a trailer park. This was far from a House of Blues. I tried buying pre-sale tickets, but the place was never open and the manager would never return my phone calls. Finally, the manager returned my call and said that he would meet me to sell me tickets. This is sad. I e-mailed Erik Turner telling him all of this. This all seemed like some kind of bad dream. We could barely even find this place. But, I will digress.
The three warm up bands were all Christian bands who were reaching to the ceiling and saying "Praise God" all night. I highly doubt they were awaiting to see Warrant and sing along to songs where they say, "You won’t be able to walk tomorrow, so we might as well do it some more." Many of the opening bands even left after their performances. Once again, this is poor planning and not a smart way of making money on everyone’s part.
The venue holds about 500 in capacity. For the show not being advertised, being a BYOB Christian venue, 100 miles away from Dallas, and pouring down rain – I am surprised the 150 plus even found the place. There are Warrant fans out there who probably got fed up and turned back because they got lost. We even thought about it as well.
Me and my crew have never missed a Warrant show ever. We have never seen a bad Warrant show. But after tonight, and I think everyone would agree, that everyone would take a fat ass, mohawk wearing, Jani Lane in a heartbeat – especially with the original line up. Stephen Pearcy had better stage raps and more charisma than Jaime St. James. He looked like he was about to have an anurism on every song. Jaime seemed to be thinking about every lyric as he sang them – not quite sure as to what was coming next. He even forgot the words to "Bridges are Burning" and I was hoping he would read my lips through the entire first verse to get them right since I was on the front row. But, nope. There was no funny jokes, banter, stories, NOTHING! And this guy had a record deal and was on MTV? I felt as though Steven Sweet was thinking to himself, "I should have stuck with making pet portraits" as he was playing. The one and only time Jaime seemed to know what to do was on the one Black and Blue song they did – "Hold on to 18." Everyone knows Warrant for the entertainment factor in between the songs and during the songs. Jani better be working out with a trainer and getting his ass in shape, because this is the only this band is going to have some success.
- Steven Sweet looks better today than he did back in day.
- Joey Allen looks like he hit the gym before the tour and has some guns and some new tats.
- Erik Turner has gone back to playing dual leads like he used to on the first two records and was top notch. He even did the intro to "Sometimes She Cries" – which was amazing. He would doodle around in between songs. He is better than many people think. I would put Joey and Erik right there with Scotti Hills/Snake Sabos, Izzy/Slashs, DeGarmos and Wiltons and so forth.
- Jerry was Jerry. That guys doesn’t age.
- Jaime St. James can’t handle a crowd. At one time Steven Sweet started talking to the audience and was more intriguing. He isn’t a bad singer, just not a front man. Granted, Jani, Butch Walker, and Paul Stanley are the best in rock and they are hard to beat. But puh-leeze.
- The set list is hard to beat. More Dog Eat Dog stuff would be great, but they basically play the entire Cherry Pie album.
I got to meet the band after the show. Erik seemed sad. He even said, "Sorry the show wasn’t that good." To me, the show never had a chance to be good due to the club. However, I was front row, sang every lyric, and saw Joey and Erik tear it up old school. Joey seemed happy to be away from his computer job and back on the stage. What’s depressing is that Warrant always had good songs – better than Poison. But, too many member shuffles, lead singer issues, and management have killed this band. They could still be touring every summer in similat venues as Poison (if Jani took care fo himself).
Warrant needs Jani. Fact.
I’m out like the Bibles at a Warrant show.
– Van Slammer
Jani probably saw that Warrant was playing a venue with no drinking or smoking and that’s why he quit! He was thinking ahead.
Review #2 – Warrant Rocks
My name is Tony Guzman and I work for a radio station in Houston — The Dean and Rog show on KKRW – kkrw.com — and made my way to see the Warrent show. My band Drawback — drawbackmusic.com — was suppose to open but we had to pull out due to my singer blowing his pipes. Anyway I was able to meet the Warrent guys before the show and these dudes were way cool, and went on to perform a killer show. The new singer had a great set of pipes and the band had soo much energy it filled the packed club (over 200 people).
The cool part came after the show when all band members came out to hang – sign autographs – take pictures and just bs.
I mentioned to Joey Allen his recent interview with you guys -he had a good laugh and said he enjoyed your site!
Jani’s out of the band and who needs him. It was good to to see the guys without the cancer that plagued them for years and it’s too bad that Jani has his head so far up his ass he can no longer see the light.
Warrant guys — good luck – great show and look forward to seeing you again.
When Joey and Steven were last in the band, Warrant was still drawing a couple thousand people. Now they’re drawing around 200. I have a feeling that even if Jani came back to the band, they still wouldn’t do much better because those guys just don’t seem to have a plan over there. They’re all lost.
This next email was sent into Jani Bon Neil by the Blue Meanie!
I saw The Darkness at the TLA in Philly April 2. WOW! It was a great show! It was a great double bill too. The opening band "The Wildhearts" were amazing. I mean A-Maze-Ing! I HIGHLY recommend the Wildhearts CD "Riff after Riff". The Wildehearts vocals were tight and the music was right on and they were really over with the crowd. Last night was the first time I saw them and they won me over big time, I bought the cd and will see them again ASAP.
The Darkness set was like going back in time to see a concert in the 1970’s. Old school rock and roll. Justin, the lead singer is Peter Frampton, Feddie Mercury and David Lee Roth rolled into one.
He can hit the falsetto notes, he can sing without the falsetto and he is a pretty good guitar player. He has tons of charisma too. The crowd was eating out of his hand the whole set. He would just have to look at the crowd and they would pop. He has "it". Plus he is pretty funny too. His interactions was really cool. People were tossing shirts, bras and the most unusual item to throw on stage at a show……..a bad mitten birdie!! LMAO!!
I read around the net people rip the band just because the singer does the falsetto. I have to say if that’s the one reason your not going to give the band a chance. Then it’s your loss because last night I saw an amazing Rock and Roll show with 2 great bands.
If ya can get a ticket for this leg of the tour I say go do it now. The next leg will be upgraded to bigger venues and you have to see these guys at least once in a smaller enviroment. The TLA had about 800 people, it was packed and the atmosphere was great.
This is another Darkness/Wildhearts review that was sent into Jani. Guess everybody sent their reviews to him.
Just wanted to let you know that I checked out the Wildhearts last night in Austin – they opened for The Darkness. Ever since you’ve been hyping them I have wanted to check them out, and I am pleased to say that I agree 100% – they were fantastic.
A couple of funny incidents occurred at the show – About halfway through the set, Ginger tripped over the guitar tech who was kneeling down behind him fixing something, and he fell right on his ass. He was extremely pissed off and threw his guitar, neck first, into the roadie’s back (OUCH!). It kind of went downhill from there as Ginger apparently didn’t think the crowd was into the show so he starts yelling at the audience that "this is the worst fucking show we’ve done on the tour!"…and "this is the USA, it’s the birthplace of rock and roll…you need to represent…blah blah blah." Later, Ginger threw another guitar right into a whole rack of other guitars and in the same vicinity of another roadie. It was pretty ugly and it obviously turned a few people off…I personally wasn’t gauging the crowd – I thought I heard a majority of people getting into it. I’m not sure what Ginger expects considering most people at the show had likely not heard of the band before this…either way, I still thought they kicked ass. I also got a copy of "Riff after Riff" at the show (Amazon, ITunes and Dell don’t carry it)… another great recommendation!
By the way, The Darkness were pretty damn good too and they had the crowd going wild.
The Darkness better enjoy their fame now because once our CD comes out and the world hears The Brightness, The Darkness will be an afterthought! The Wildhearts’ CD "The Wildhearts Must Be Destroyed" was released on Sanctuary this week so be sure to check that out to, providing you’re into cool rock bands. If you’re not, you can pass on it.
rumor: a friend of mine went to the darkness/wildhearts show and talked to ginger. apparently, lemmy was supposed to join the wildhearts on stage for a cover of blitzkrieg bop. it was gonna be a special dedication to joey and dee dee ramone. allegedly, the darkness’ people were told to not let lemmy into the building. might be worth looking into. those who snub legends aren’t likely to stick around past their 15 minutes.
Headlining bands, especially those that rely on a gimmick, get nervous and don’t want the opening acts to outshine them, so if that did happen, that’s the reason. And it is true that those that don’t respect the past won’t have much of a future.
Emails on Real Band Names.
Oh my Gosh. I was having a bad day. I really was. Nothing was going right. Pissed off and sad. Then I came to Sludge and started reading Real Band Names. Dude, I’m fucking dying laughing. I’m only on F and I’m in tears. Cindy Brady’s Lisp? Brilliant!!! The Fellatio Ratio?? Unprecedented!!!
Thanks for the Monday morning laugh. Now maybe I won’t go home and beat my wife. See? Metal-Sludge brings peace to the world….
Hey man, I’m sure you’ve had a million more of these sent to you but here’s a few more, I didn’t know who to send then to so here you go.
Date Rape and the Ruffies
The Flaming Hindenburgs
Peter Parker’s Pickle
Wooden I and the Butterfly Kisses
Pubic Enemy Number 2
Todd Bridges Cutlery
The Osbourne 4-Wheeler Vicodin Racing Team
The Tobacco Sunburst Skid Marks
Slow Children Playing
Slow Men Working A Head
Flatulent De Ja Vu
I still think Accidental Goat Sodomy is the best one of all. Keep on Sludgin’ guys, Take care–Doug Canney
Just wanted to say congrats on the upcoming XM radio show the Sludge will be doing!
I just bought an XM receiver for my Jeep, and I’m waiting on the antenna…looking forward to hearing your show in the near future.
Your site is the only site on the net that I check every day! Keep up the great work!
We should have an announcement next week as to who our first DJ will be for our Metal Sludge show. For what I’ve heard around the office, it should be quite a surprise!
A bunch of emails on Dope trying to get their fans to buy a tour bus for them are next.
Hey all.I thought I would let you in on some funny shit that happened earlier today.After reading about the Dope tour bus b.s. , I figured I would go over to the site to check it out.First I read that the owner of the site, some chick named Roxxy, claims to not be affiliated with the band. Well if thats the case , why is she selling their swag? So I figure I would ask in a little section called ‘chatterbox’. Something like a guestbook.Guess what. They deleted my fuckin question. Another person asked who was making money off the merchandise ‘because if its the band I find it awful fuckin hard to believe they knew nothing of this tour bus shit’. O.K. that person was me too. Anyway, the fuckers deleted that one too.Now I see this chatterbox section is replaced by a ‘coming soon’ box.Hmmm. Did I hit a nerve?They had no problem defending their right to scam fans out of money, yet when called on to explain how they can sell Dope lunch-boxes and tote bags (yes, lunch boxes) and claim to have nothing to do with the group, well , all I can say is BULLSHIT! Because if Dopes not getting the money, who the fuck is? Maybe the same one trying to get people to give her money? But if Dope is getting the money, then I got to ask myself who thought up this free tour bus shit anyway. Sludger
I felt the need to tell you the following in regards to your rant on the Dope fans buying them a bus:
I would kiss your bare naked ass if you were here. I’m sure Edsel read it and threw his "I’m so tough and angrified hissy fit".
His old bassist, you know, the 100th member to leave his shitty band and I thank you from the bottom of our hearts. We had a good laugh when we were sent the link to your page.
You guys rule, keep up the good work.
I think I will head on over to EDSELDOPEdotCOM and let all the fans in on something that are donating their hard earned cash to these bitches. When the bus broke down 6 feet from the parking lot of the club they were playing the other night in Birmingham AL, Dope took a vote and decided not to play.
The fuckers were there, had plenty of time to unload, but decided to behave no better than Axl Rose on a good day. Fuck Edsel, Fuck the other bitches in the band for not having the balls to step up and say "hey this is FUCKED, we’re here let’s play."
Those same fans who are donating money, were left with what? That’s right, nothing… Probably better off having not seen those pussies play.
Sorry I went off, I just come from a different school than these hack ass fucks. You get to the gig, and you play… Whine about your busted ass Greyhound rental later… Fuck your little teenage groupies later…
No damn duh. That is THE dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.
I don’t know how much a tourbus costs… I’ve never bought one. I looked on the web and it seems to me for even a used bus you’re looking at $50-100k.
How in the sam hell do they think they can get their fans to GIVE them that much money if they can’t get them to spend it on them legitimately (via CD, merch and ticket sales)?
THIS IS BEYOND INSANITY!
I think I’ll start a "Buy Waylon Rogers a Record Company" fund so I can get "signed".
It makes as much sense!!
Sludge til you drop,
I couldn’t think of a better name for Edsel’s band than Dope. It’s fitting. These guys should play comedy clubs because they’re such a fucking joke.
This is an email from a rock writer from the past!
There is nowhere else on the Net that comes close to the Sludge. Now I’ve got the ass-lickin’ praise outta the way, could you please add a link to my site? It’s been up since October last year and will, hopefully, be updated over the next few months with loads more reviews and interviews plus all the old stuff I wrote for ‘Kerrang!’ and ‘Metal Forces’ etc back in the day that I’ve found other sites have been ripping off for years!
Dave Reynolds www.reyno-roxx.com
Well there’s your link Dave, and whenever we get around to updating our links, we’ll try to add you in.
I just stumbled upon your site about two months ago, but haven’t stopped coming back since. What a fucking wonderfully delusional freakshow you have out there on the west coast. CC should have a reality TV show, it would be WAYYYYY better than the Osbournes. 21 minutes of Hollwood rocker puking sounds like entertainment to me. I only wish Jizzy would write for his column more frequently. Perhaps I should purchase his literature. Oh and your reviews are less than admirable. Forget it, I hate your site. Regardless, I will NEVER stop coming back.
Keep up the invaluable shitslinging!
We have an email from our very first Sludgeaholic Of The Month, Gilly!
What’s going on? It’s been a while since I’ve written to you all but I thought I’d let you know that last Sunday, April 28, Twisted Sister played at the Coor’s Light Rock On Festival in San Antonio, TX. Opening up for Twisted Sister were Broken Teeth (Jason McMaster’s band), L.A. Guns and Stephen Pearcy. During the L.A. Guns’ set, Phil Lewis noticed my Metal Sludge cap and t-shirt and started telling everyone at the show that they should visit Metal Sludge.Com since it’s an awesome site and that you all put down bands down and it’s all in fun but not when the site makes fun of him. I thought it was pretty cool of him doing that since he really didn’t have to do it. As far as the show went, all 4 bands put on great shows. Broken Teeth played a tight set. L.A. Guns sounded just as good even though Tracii wasn’t playing guitar. Stephen Pearcy’s set was probably the best that i’ve seen him play in recent years. Twisted Sister played for a good hour and a half and they were awesome. Well that’s it for now. I’ll try to send in some captured that I have but have been to lazy to send in.
Phil Lewis is currently in his "swing from Metal Sludge’s nuts" phase. He goes back and forth. Right now he likes us so maybe we should hit him up for a Rewind before he hates us again.
As a long-time KISS fan, I’ve seen the band (translation: Gene) inflate the facts before. In fact, let’s give credit where credit is due: Gene Simmons works with "exaggeration" like Vince Neil works in fat.
But the press release issued recently for the band’s forthcoming "Rock the World 2004" world tour is just off the charts ridiculous.
In it, the band claims to have played over 3,500 concerts in front of over 78 million fans worldwide. While most members of the media and KISS’s fanbase probably bought that hook, line and sinker, when I read it, I knew there was no way these figures were correct. So, I contacted Curt Gooch and Jeff Suhs, the authors of the book "KISS Alive Forever: The Complete Touring History," easily the best book on KISS to have ever hit the market.
According to them, the figures in KISS’s press release are dead-on accurate…assuming that you’re OK with the 86% margin of error.
Curt and Jeff related that KISS has actually played 1,879 concerts thus far. For KISS to have appeared in front of 78 million fans worldwide, they would have to have averaged over 40,000 people per show. Fact of the matter is that even their phenomenally successful 1996-97 Alive/Worldwide Tour averaged less than 14,000 per show, as did the Love Gun/Alive II Tour back in the band’s 1970s heyday. Exact figures for all of KISS’s shows are not available, but the band’s total draw for their career is more in the 17 to 20 million range.
Let’s not get too negative, though. I think it’s great that the band is out there after 55 years in the industry, and I for one am very much looking forward to watching the 341 decible, 5 and half hour long concert when it comes to my local 230,000 seat coliseum.
Gene Simmons exaggerating? Gene Simmons? That can’t be true. When has Gene ever exaggerated anything? I think you must be confused. (Sarcasm mode turned off)
I am a huge fam of Metal Sludge ever since my friend Axel from 99X in Atlanta turned me onto you guys about 3 years ago. I am a pretty big fan of Europian Metal, since they still think it is 1986 over there, I can still get my melodic metal. I love the band Jaded Heart, and I was wondering if you could try and do a 20 questions with them? You might not care or know who they are but, they continue to put out some great stuff and I would love to know more about them. If you get a chance let me know.
Here’s some classic hate mail! I once thought that Slaughter had the stupidest fans, then maybe Motley Crue, but I’ve now figured out that it’s Korn that has the stupidest fans. Without a doubt! Every email to us from a Korn fan is always the same.
Why you suck let me see. Number one, how can you sit around and talk about the greatest bands ever. You must be sum 40 year old fat fuck.(thats correct right). Do you have a job or do you sit in a dark room in a dress, you sound like a girl with all of your bitch ass crying. Maybe you should try finding a girl you fucking dork. I am a big korn fan and I am far from stupid,dumb,or any other two year old bullshit words your punk ass can think of. I don’t care if you trash this or not, but I would like to say EAT SHIT AND DIE YOU FAG DONKEY DICK SUCKING MOTHERFUCKER@CRYBABY BBF IS A PUSSY.COM
p.s. FUCK YOU.
I find it funny that a Korn fan would say that I sit in a dark room and sound like a girl with all my bitch ass crying. Sounds to me like this individual just described Korn’s singer. I also love people who claim that they aren’t stupid but have no clue as to how to write a simple paragraph, and then resort to saying in all caps, "EAT SHIT AND DIE YOU FAG DONKEY DICK SUCKING MOTHERFUCKER." Yeah, you’re pretty much ready to discover the cure for cancer! You’re a genius!
I love getting emails like those.
New Sludgeaholics sometimes wonder how the whole Sebitchian Bach vs. Metal Sludge feud started. Well, the actually person who fired the first shot in the war is this next person.
How are you? It’s been a long time since I emailed you guys so I thought I’d drop a line. I still come to the site every week. I noticed that Sebitchian is still getting hammered. Who knew that sharing my Canada experience with bitch boy would go this far. Keep up the good work and the great laughs.
E~V~I~L is a very old school Sludgeaholic who dates back to 1998. He sent us an email about seeing Sebitchian’s limo break down on the side of the road in Toronto, while on the way to a Kiss show. That was basically it. Sebitchian got bent out of shape about that simple email, which wasn’t even anything to get stressed about, and the rest is history. Thanks for checking in, dude!
bastard boy floyd