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20 Questions With John Christ, 12/14/99



John Christ

Ex-Danzig Guitarist John Christ

Who would have thought that Metal Sludge would be doing 20 Questions with Christ?  John Christ that is. He was the guitarist for Danzig for 8 and a half years, and now he’s got his own shit going on.  This interview was set up by Libby over at Metal Masters down in Tampa, so props go out to her for that.  Of course you can visit Metal Masters at www.metalmasters.net.  

Enough plugs for now, let’s find out what Christ is up to.

1.  What are you currently up to?  This is your only chance to plug your shit.

JOHN CHRIST:  Currently, I’m promoting the release of my first solo effort, FLESH CAFFEINE. This CD is everything that the new Danzig is not. The music is very heavy and loaded with cool guitar work and slamming drums. I wrote, sang, played and produced this puppy. That’s why I’ve been out of circulation for so long.  If you like loud, heavy and intense, go to http://www.johnchrist.com.

JC on stage

2.  What hard rock/heavy metal band should give it up and call it a day?

Def Leppard

3.  2 Part Question:  How many members of Danzig worshipped Satan, and when was the last time you sacrificed an animal?

Only one. 

I sacrificed an animal for dinner last night.

4.  What’s down with Glen?  Literally down, we know he’s really short and wears really high heeled boots to make himself appear taller. How tall is Glen for real?

No one knows for sure.  My best guess would be about 5′ 5" on a tall day.

5.  Rate the following guitarists on a scale of 1 to 10.   1 being someone who has no business picking up a guitar, and 10 being a virtuoso.

Ace Frehley – 7  

no chops, but a great riff writer

Kirk Hammett – 5

learned some licks, but never pushed for melody or tone

Dimebag Darrell - 8

very fast, he could be higher but I haven’t heard much of his stuff

C.C. DeVille – 4

though I’ve got to give it to him for selling 6 million albums, he’s back again, he’s also the funniest guy I’ve ever met

Tracii Guns – 10

he’s a great player and a good friend, he’s better than people know

Kerry King – 7

very fast, cool riff writer, couldn’t handle his tone for too long

Marty Friedman - 9

fast, I like him better than his stoner boss…

Eddie Van Halen – 10

he’s a god!

Steve Vai – 10

he’s also a god!  I wish he didn’t use Ibanez guitars though.

Jerry Cantrell – 8-9

he’s like the Clapton of alternative grunge. Decent chops, but a great writer

6.  What does God look like?

I hope I find out someday a long time from now.   I used to think God must look like Lonnie Anderson with wings.

7.  What rock star deserves a smack in the mouth and why?

Kid rock, just because, well, you know why.

8.  Hypothetically speaking.

A. If Glenn Danzig is 5’2" but wears 4′ heels how tall is Glen with his

heels on?

B. How many inches tall is Glenn without his heels if he is in fact only 5’2?

Please place your answers here.

(A) It depends on if he’s got his inserts in, and if his hair is sprayed.  He’s HUGE to me…Oh Yeah

(B) Without his heels????? You’ve got to be kidding right? No one has ever, scratch that. You can find the correct answer by going into any strip club and asking the nastiest stripper. They all know!

9.  What is the song "Mother" about in your eyes?

Mother is about teenage rebellion. I thank God for Rick Rubin putting that tune together with us. When he decided to re-release it in ’93, he put us on the map. Thanks Beavis

10.  Rate the following chicks on a scale of 1 to 10.  1 being a mess, and 10 being a hot bitch.

Elvira – 8

overall, the rack is a 10

Sabrina the teenage witch - 6

good for a butt poke

Jenny McCarthy – 10

until she opens up her mouth, then a 6 until she closes it

Pamela Anderson - 10

before the kids, cooties, and breast reduction

Carmen Electra – 3

she’s been with the worm

Gen from the Genitorturers – 8

she’s spanked me before

Lita Ford – 6

she’s a great rock slut, she used to be hot

Debbie Gibson - 2


Libby Riley - 10

if you’ve heard what I’ve heard

Jennifer Aniston – 8

cute, maybe too cute

11.  Why did you leave Danzig?  Was Glenn a pain in the ass to work with or what?

Unfortunately he was a pain in the ass. He was totally cool in the beginning!  He wrote cool songs, could improvise well, and knew what he wanted. He helped me develop an image.  I thought we were even friends. I was wrong. Over time, something very ugly happened. He eventually got paranoid and one by one turned on everyone who ever cared about him and tried to help him. After a slow and steady communication breakdown, the inevitable happened. Chuck, EV and I were in misery. We were no longer a band. Chuck left first. Eerie Von and I left together about a year later. I’m still not completely over it. I miss the early days living out my dreams as a young

rising star.

12.  Which of the following do you prefer?

Slayer or Metallica – Metallica

Master of Puppetts is art

Slaughter or Megadeth – Slaughter

actually brings back some fun clubbing days of old

Vince Neil or Vince Gill – Vince Gill

a great set of pipes

LeAnn Rimes or Busta Rhymes - LeAnn

‘cuz I like the way she clumsily bounces around the stage with her new bolt ons

Glen Danzig or Hank The Angry Drunken Dwarf – Neither

Insane Clown Posse or N’Sync – The posse, of course

MTV or VH1 – ESPN2

it has more rock music

Winger or Warrant – Warrant

I miss the 80’s chicks, the big hair, and the spandex tube dresses!!!

13.  For $500,000 would you:  Put a bat inside your ass while it is alive and squeeze.  Once the bat is dead from exhaustion and/or suffocation, expel it from your butt, then bite its head off, chew, and swallow it.

Dry or lubricated?  How big is the bat?

14.  If you could send a boat out into the ocean with any band on it and then blow the boat up, what band would it be?

The Back Street Boys deserve a long cruise on the "S.S. One Way"

Eerie Von, Tony Iommi, and John Christ

15.  Have you ever banged one of Glen’s groupies without his consent or knowledge?

I may have achieved the occasional cock block resulting in a salty dog….

16.  Why is Magic Johnson still healthy?

Magic is HIV negative and too embarrassed to admit it.

17.  You have to pick one of the following

A.  An earthquake makes California break off and fall into the sea, killing millions of innocent people;


B.  You have to lick Glen Danzig’s sweaty nut sack for a full 5 minutes.

A, But I honestly don’t think that there are millions of INNOCENT people here in California.

18.  What’s the most fucked up thing that you ever saw while touring?

I saw two male lead singers of now famous bands, coming out of a bathroom with lipstick smears from the one guy covering both of their faces.  The two bands were opening up for us. It was the first or second night of the

tour. Hell of a way to make an impression.

19.  Do you think anybody cares about a solo album from John Christ?

My Mommy cares.  So do the scores of fans who email every week asking how and when they can get FLESH CAFFEINE.  (Shameless plug, http://www.johnchrist.com)  It feels great to know that I’ve got so many friends out there who still care about my music!

20.  Time For Metal Sludge’s Word Association.  We give you a name, and you

give us your thoughts.

Glenn Danzig – Little Boots

King Diamond – Aahhhhhhhhhh (falsetto)

Slayer – Reign in Blood!!!!

Warrant – Cherry pie video

Bret Michaels - Boned Pamela before Vince

Vince Neil – Boned Pamela before Tommy

Riki Rachtman – Boned half of Hollywood, he used to let me in free to his clubs!

Eerie Von – My Punk Rock Mentor, gave me tips on hair dye, ahh the old days

Tom Araya  – Great guy, his brother, Johnny, was a great bass tech for us

Gene Simmons – The King of Cock Rock, Fire spitting, Box Chowing, groupie boning, and Monopoly trademark stealing

Thanks to John for actually going into detail on all our questions.  He didn’t puss out of any questions and seems like a cool guy.   Plus everything was spelled right!  If you’d like more info on Christ, then you can go to www.johnchrist.com.  

And since Libby hooked us up, here’s a pic of her and John together.  Now she has her 15 minutes of fame.  Go visit Metal Masters at www.metalmasters.net.

Note To Libby:  You can pay us for the plugs by sending a money order made out to CASH to our P.O. Box for an even $200.  Hey, plugs are expensive!  You didn’t think we plugged shit for free, did ya???

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