20 QUESTIONS WITH…
Ex-Hurricane Singer Kelly Hansen
We’re not going to lie, this interview is weak. Weaker than Sebastian Bach’s album sales. But hey, it’s the holidays, so things are slow around here. We’ve been holding on to this for a while, so we thought we’d dump this interview off now and get it over with.
In case you don’t know who Kelly Hansen is, and what a crime that would be, he’s the former singer of the band Hurricane. If you don’t remember Hurricane, then you don’t remember Kelly, so it’s best to cut your loses and leave now. If you do remember Hurricane, then this guy was the singer. He’s also the singer for Stuart Smith. Stuart hooked us up with Kelly, so if you don’t like the interview, blame him.
1. What are you currently up to? This is the only time to plug your shit!
I’m writing for my first solo record, doing lots of sessions, maybe some more shows with Heaven & Earth, etc.
2. Why should anybody care who you are?
Honestly, they really shouldn’t, But there are many worse singers out there.
3. What are the other members of Hurricane up to?
I don’t know about the others guys, but Jay and I play tennis all the time. But he’s so much better than me that I’m thinkin’ about having him killed. You know I have the power.
4. What rock band should call it a day and give it up?
Rock Band? There are hardly any good rock bands left
5. Rate the following vocalists on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 being someone who shouldn’t even open their mouth, and 10 being someone like Mariah Carey or something.
You will not catch me in your web of trickery & games, for I have seen the Demon shower and his soap is not fresh. Although I would like to see Mariah open her mouth, if you know what I mean.
||6. Were your guitarist Robert Sarzo and bassist Tony Cavazo jealous of their brothers’ success in Quiet Riot?
Are you kidding? That’s how we got heard.
7. Since Stuart Smith is married to Heather Locklear’s sister, have you ever met her or does Stuart keep you at a safe distance from her?
8. Have you ever seen the inside of a tour bus?
9. For $30,000: Would you demonstrate the use of a lifelike butt plug in an anal sex instructional video?
Do I get to keep the butt plug?
10. Rate the following chicks on a scale from 1 to 10. 1 being a mess and 10 being a Playboy material.
What’s "a playboy material"? Who’s proofing this, Ozzy?
Pamela Lee = 10
Jenny McCarthy = 10
Lita Ford = 10
Courtney Love = 10
Britney Spears = 10
Buffy the Vampire Slayer = 10
Carmen Electra = 10
Heather Locklear = 10
Colleen Locklear Smith = 10
Sheryl Crow = 10
10 Just hedging my bets.
11. You guys we’re on Capitol Records. Any Poison stories, good or bad? Were you pissed they never took Hurricane out on tour?
We played a show with them in Orange County where they destroyed much of the borrowed gear. We were
a much harder band then them. Probably not a good bill.
12. You auditioned for Danger Danger but they ended up picking Paul Laine. How did that effect your life and how were you able to overcome such rejection from such a huge band like Danger Danger??
I’m sorry, but your going to have to speak english. By the way, I never "auditioned" for them.
|13. Why did you guys call the band Hurricane when you lived in Earthquake country? Had you guys been from Florida, than we could understand that. SO what was the deal with that?
Either because a Hurricane is a big wet thing with a hole in the middle or, well that’s it.
14. What rock star deserves a smack in the mouth and why?
15. Out of the following listed below, which do you prefer?
I suddenly only have the use of one hand.
Playboy or Penthouse
Britney Spears or Christina Aquelira
Metallica or Megadeth
Jani Lane or Chasey Lain
Tommy Lee or Richie Sambora
Poison or Slaughter
16. Do you think a possible reason Hurricane never really made it is because you guys had absolutely no image whatsoever?
Are you available for management?
17. Was anyone in your band ever romantically linked with a porn star, hollywood starlet, some famous slut, etc…?
No, although I was physically linked to a couple.
18. Have you ever had any plastic surgery like liposuction or hair transplants?
You’ll have to speak to my Proctologist.
19. Who’s the most overrated band today?
Up With People.
20. Time for Metal Sludge’s Word Association. We give a name, you give us your thoughts.
Stuart Smith / Oh God! It’s alive with sound!
Bob Ezrin / Genious
C.C. DeVille / He knows he can still call me
Tommy Lee / I drunkenly wished him and Pam a happy marriage
Jani Lane / I gave his first wife her break in the biz
Sebastian Bach / never met him
Bill Gazzarri / If they’re not the foxiest guys, then they’re not on our stage!Axl Rose / I’m getting tired now
Dave Mustaine / I have to go, I’m getting a Shiatzu
So there you go. Hey, don’t look at us that way! What do you want from us? They all can’t be winners.
Anyways, Kelly didn’t give us any sites to plug, so we’ll just plug Stuart’s site, which is at www.stuartsmith.com