20 QUESTIONS WITH…
Just the other day, the entire staff at Metal Sludge was freaking out because we thought we’d run out of people to interview. We had absolutley no idea who to do 20 Questions with this week! We looked high and low, and we still couldn’t find anyone who would be willing to talk to us. We thought we had pretty much scraped the bottom of the barrel, and then it occured to us that there was still one person out there who had never done 20 Questions with us before… and that person is Pauly Shore!
Actually, none of that is true, except for the part about Pauly not having done 20 Questions with us. But like jury duty, there is no escaping Metal Sludge when we come calling, and today is Pauly’s turn! It turns out that he has a new DVD coming out called Pauly Shore is Dead, and since he used to be the host of "Totally Pauly" back in the days when hair bands still thrived on MTV, we figured he might have some good stories to share. So this week, you get 20 Questions with none other than actor, comedian, and former MTV host Pauly Shore. Here we go!
1. What are you currently up to? This is your one and only chance to plug your shit.
What am I currently up to? my penis is my right hand, I?m touching it, I just got off the phone with some hot, nasty stripper from West Palm that?s gonna fly out to come buff the helmet of the weasel extraordinary fundage out in Boston, mutha fuckin bitches, cause I?m old school, so fuck all you bitches? sorry
2. So, you have a new film out called ?Pauly Shore is Dead.? Obviously, you aren?t really dead, or we wouldn?t be talking to you right now. What?s your movie all about, and what makes you think it won?t tank even faster than your 1997 Fox sitcom ?Pauly??
Fuck you heavy metal faggots, what about those fucking hair plugs, ahhh! I can?t handle it! Well, first of all it probably will tank faster and I?m already prepared and that?s when I?m really gonna kill myself so after I do that then the movie is going to really skyrocket so then my family and my friends will benefit from the movie?s uh… financial status. That makes sense, right?
3. Your new film also features a part where the ghost of Sam Kinison appears to you and gives you some sort of advice. Do you at all think that Sam?s closest friends and family members might find this notion a bit offensive? Or did you clear it with anyone first?
Yes dumb shit, Sam?s family cleared it with me, I would never do something like that? but the original story of me choosing Sam is because I was originally doing it with the ghost of Chris Farely, not the ghost of Chris Farley… you don?t even want to know? Sam?s family agreed that it was okay for me to use his likeness and image. Bill Kinison if you notice at the beginning of the movie when I?m getting wheeled out on the stretcher and I have my boner there, there?s several people crying well, Bill Kinson?s, Sam Kinison?s brother was there too.
4. Rank the following comedians on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 being a hack, and 10 being all kinds of funny.
Louie Anderson = I think Louie?s funny, Louie?s very funny actually, especially when he fondles little Mexican boys backstage. 9
George Lopez = Never seen him
Bobcat Golthwait = He?s pretty intelligent, I?d have to say 7
David Allen Greer = I?d have to say? he?s funny, I think David Allen Grier?s funny, I?d say 9. He was in In The Army Now, being on the set with him was great, him and Andy Dick hated each others guts..you know.cause Andy was. .I don?t know…Andy was the new guy and David would always make fun of him and they would have on the set confrontation all the time. I did a comedy show with him in West Palm and he played the guitar and he does funny characters, and that?s my nigga, he?s happenin, that?s the man.
Richard Black = ?
Jeff Foxworthy = 4
Chris Rock = 10+? Me and Chris Rock, or I like to call buckwheat, the buckwheat of my generation, is an old friend of mine. We started together in NewYork, he came out here several years ago, me and Chris were very close in the early 90?s when we started together at the Dunes Hotel at The Comedy Store, it was called The Comedy Store Young Comedians… No it was called The Comedy Store New Faces. It was me, Chris Rock, Tommy Davidson, MeMe Ali, Muhammad Ali?s daughter. And this really trippy kind of duet called Piper and Tupper, I have no fuckin idea what happened to those guys. I remember me and Chris eating at Dennys late one night, or early in the morning one morning with no pussy just going, ?Dude, we?re such losers, we?re never gonna get any pussy ever? and now here we are…
Larry the Cable Guy = haven?t seen him
George Carlin = 10
Carrot Top = haven?t seen him? Carrot Top is funny, you know, I saw him maybe once and I?m very happy for him because anyone who can do all that stuff? he?s obviously very successful, people really like that, he does huge business in Vegas, but that?s gotta take a lot of effort? just carrying all that shit around, up the stairs you know what I mean?. know when I go on tour its an ordeal just to bring my suitcase for my clothes, he?s bringin? cases for all his shit and his clothes, so I gotta take my hat off to a guy that that?s dedicated.
5. Your show ?Totally Pauly? ran for four years on MTV in the early 90s, back when MTV still played hair metal! Fuck, that was back when MTV still played videos! You met all kinds of people and did a lot of fucked up shit on that show. Please tell us your three fondest memories from your MTV days, and how did it all come to an end? And did Kurt Loder ever try to get you to sit on his lap or anything whacky like that?
Yo so these are my fondest best three memories of MTV. First one: June 3rd 1990 my kick off party for my MTV show called ?Totally Pauly? was held at The Comedy Store June 3rd 1990. Every rock star showed up? Billy Idol, all of Motley Crue with their hot chicks, Stephen Pearcy, Robbin Crosby, LA Guns, Ron Jeremy, Christen Slater… Faster Pussycat? We were filming the whole thing for my MTV party, and it was like unbelievable. I was wearing the crown that day? so that was one? and then another one was I think it was 91or 92 Spring Break hosting a half hour show called ?Chillin wih the Weiz? when I was doing my foxy boxing mud wrestling stuff? Lenny Kravitz came out with a loin cloth and we sung ?let love rule? together and you know? sneakin in… not sneakin in but going to the Hawaiian Tropic parties, and hookin up with all the Hawaiian Tropic girls and havin sex and throwin the condom off the balcony, stuff like that. And thenn the third thing is fimling my MTV half hour Lisa Lisa Totally Buff Special with a girl, Heather Parkhearst, who it think is the girl in the Firehouse videos, that?s funny? and then I hooked up with her and banged her out for a while and she?s my lisa lisa girl and she was soo hot at the time and awesome and fun and cool and she was definitely the girl that I could never get if I wasn?t famous or on MTV so I got her cause of that? thank you MTV.. —oh yeah and one other thing happened Kurt Loder one time had me sit on his lap and molest me? that was actually a couple weeks ago?.
Pauly hanging out by his very own billboard, 1990
6. Your first credited TV appearance was back in 1987 when you made a guest appearance as the character ?Kenny Ryan? on 21 Jump Street. What was that all about, and did you end up banging Holly Robinson or any of the other chicks in the cast?
Umm no I didn?t want to bang any of the hicks I just wanted to bang Johnny Depp? No just kidding… ?yeah faggot yeahh?? the 21 Jump Street experience was unfuckingbelievable for me. It was the guest lead on a Fox show, you know, Jason Priestly was my sidekick on it, this guy Rob Stone, I think from Mr. Belvedere, he was one of the leads on it as well. And it was interesting being up there in Vancouver where we shot it because.. because it was interesting just meeting Johnny Depp, at the time? you know a guy with the name of Johnny Depp you knew he was gonna be a big fucking star, and then when I met they guy it was just like, this guys fucking cool, a good guy, and it was a great experience, it was just cool to do something dramatic, something? umm..I did this shit wayy before MTV and that?s what I?m always looking for, a dramatic role in a movie or something, but the whole 21 Jump Street thing was amazing, as far as me getting pussy on the set..I don?t remember.
7. Speaking of coital activities with cast members, you?ve worked with some hot chicks over the years, including Pamela Anderson, Tiffani Thiessen, Paris Hilton, Joey Adams, Tia Carerre, Kylie Minogue, etc. You seriously had to have nailed at least one of them! Please tell us a good story.
The only one I really dated was Kylie Minogue, she was unbelievable. We did the movie Bio Dome together and when I first met her she came into audition and I did not know who the fuck Klyie Minogue was. And it was just this adorable cute, little shrimp on the Barbie, just walkin? in, smiling, and you know, struttin? her stuff, and I just fell in love with her. I just, I mean I didn?t know, I just heard that she was like a star overseas, but I?d never seen her, she didn?t know who I was, she didn?t know who Pauly Shore was, and I just fell in love with her.. She was unbelievable, and we dated for about um 6 months, maybe 5 or 6 months after the movie finished. And it was cool, it was a cool experience… and then afterwards what happened was I was supposed to meet her on tour in Europe that summer and be her boyfriend on the road type thing, and I called her to make plans and let?s do this, set the whole time up and all that stuff and she never called me back. So I called her to go on this tour and she didn?t call me back and I kept calling and I didn?t understand because literally a week before shes like,?yeah you?re gonna meet me in Germany, were gonna go out, its gonna be cool I?m doing two weeks? and finally I got so hurt cause I was in love with her, all I had to do was have her just say like, ?I?m not interested or it?s not gonna work? but when bitches don?t call it gets guys nuts, we wanna pull the O.J., you know what I?m saying. So finally I was like fuck it, I fucking flew to London, I flew all the way to fucking London. I mean I?m not talking like I flew to Atlanta to go meet the girl; I flew to fucking London, that?s how much I was in love with this chick. And I get over there and I had a couple friends that were working in movies over there and I finally tracked down? well? stalked down her friend, a girl that I met over here with her and she said Kylie just recently flew to LA with her new boyfriend, Stefan, the video director. So like, literally as I?m flying in the sky to London, she?s flying in the sky to LA, that was pretty cool. So then I finally met her at the Kings Road Caf?, she wanted to meet in public cause she thought maybe I was going to kill her or something, and we met at the Kings Road Caf?. And she just said it was over and I was cool after that?as far as why she dumped me, I don?t know? she probably just you know, maybe she was never in love with me.
Pam Anderson ? I never had sex with her, we did a shoot together in Hawaii a while ago for Fox and that never happened it more like just a platonic thing.
Tiffiany Amber Thesien ? I dated her for a little bit after Son in Law and during Son in Law, that?s it.
Paris Hilton ? nope, just a friend
Joey Adams ? never was with her, she was just a good friend of mine
8. You also went to the same high school as a few celebrities, including Angelina Jolie, Nicholas Cage, Lenny Kravitz, David Schwimmer and a slew of others. Did you ever get shoved into a locker, or were maybe given a swirlie, by anyone who would one day become famous?
I never got a swirlie or got shoved into a locker by a famous person, but the quarterback of the Football team punched me and through me in a locker?
9. Of the following, which do you prefer and why:
Jack-In-The-Box or Wendy?s = I prefer, at this point, if I had a choice , if I was stuck on a desert island, Jack in the Box or Wendys, I remember the chicken breast sandwich at Jack in the Box was unbelievable back in the 80s/90s. I don?t know if they still have it. As far as Wendys is concerned, Wendys is cool, but I?d have to go with Jack in the Box?
Red Skelton or W.C. Fields = W.C. Fields
Encino Man or Bio Dome = I don?t know, probably uh Jury Duty
Fat Albert or Scooby Doo = Scooby Doo for sure, cause he was always stoned with the Scooby snacks, driving around in the van all fucked up, and you know those guys were always high on something
Tenacious D or the marijuanalogues = Tenacious D
Saved By the Bell or Boy Meets World = Saved by the Bell
Hand jobs or rim jobs = Definitely uhhh?that?s disgusting
Ellen Degeneres or Rosie O?Donnell = Ellen
South Park or the Simpsons = South Park
Poison or Nelson = Poison
10. Word has it that at the time your mom went into labor, she still hadn?t thought of a name for you. She decided on ?Paul Montgomery Shore? after she rode past the Paulee Body Shop and a Montgomery Ward on the way to the hospital to give birth. How glad are you that she didn?t ride past a bunch of shitty fast food places? You could?ve ended up with the name ?Arby McDonald? for all you know!
That was a joke that I did, you stole that joke you son of a bitch, that was a joke I did on stage?. and in my Totally Buff Special
11. Speaking of your mom, if she hadn?t of owned the Comedy Store in LA, do you think you would?ve had a career at all?
Definitly not, well no I wouldn?t have grown up in the environment that I grew up in, and I wouldn?t be who I was, I would probably be a street dancer in Paris or something. Umm no definitely not, I grew up in an environment at the comedy store, being raised around the comedians, my dad being a comedian, it was very ancestral, it was all I knew. I was doing it when I was born, the second I came out of my moms stomach, I grabbed the umbilical cord and did three minutes, you know, my whole life?s been a 2 drink minimum.
12. Give us your fondest memory about performing or being in the following cities:
Tampa = My fondest memory of Tampa is probably the first time I went into the Mons Venus, which I know a lot of the rock stars and the head bangers have probably been to, it?s probably one of the best strip clubs in America, it?s kind of in the round, it?s like pussy in the round. And then also I just remember that was like one of my first stand ups booked on tour at this place called The Comedy Corner. And I was opening for a comedian called Jonathan Katz and we were sharing a condo together and I remember us watching TV and my MTV spots came on, I had just filmed them, and I freeaked, I was like ?oh my god!? I started screaming like that and then the next day he switched condos.
Chicago = My fondest memory of Chicago is probably playing the place that the Smashing Pumpkins played?the Metro, maybe a 2 or 3000 seater, like a big amphitheater, but I remember doing a show the next day after the smashing pumpkins, that was pretty cool
Montreal = Montreal, Montreal (in French accent) My fondest memory of Montreal came more recently when I screened my movie PSID up there to two sold out screens in front of the industry and a whole bunch of montrealians and also foundling that girl from that movie A Girl Next Door, I forgot her name
Sacramento = Sac town! Sac town, one of my fondest memories is going up there with fred durst from Limp Bizkit on his tour bus and hanging out with them up there when they did a radio tour, and filming him on the bus singing to me and my little video camera like his new shit way before it came out, I think it was the hotdog starfiush album.
Dallas = Dallas, Texas..when I did they Pauly Does Dallas special at I think it was the Warfield?I forgot where it was but it was Pauly Does Dallas comedy HBO special, my first and only HBO special when I did it I think it was 91, 92, 93 around there, it was awesome, It was me on stage, doing Lisa Lisa, kickin it with dallas cowboy girls. And doing the Lisa Lisa on the stage, singing the song dong the killer hbo special and then after going to the lizard lounge and partying over there and then also hanging out with playmate of the year Stacy Sanchez, who?s from Dallas, who?s also a good friend of mine.
Cleveland = Cleveland. Clevland, OH. It?s a rockin town, Cleveland, OH, again i think another strip club, no im just kidding, cleveland, I don?t really remember cleveland as far as fond memories, I know there are probably lots of them I just cant pinpoint.
Washington, D.C. = It was I think the year 2000, it was when George Bush was first put into office, it was before 9/11, I was doing my show at the improv there, doing some stand up, and one of the secret service men came to the show and we became friends I think his name was Thomas something and he said do you want a tour of the white house so me an my friend Dean we went to the white house and we toured the whole whitehouse and we met george bush and took a picture with him, and I recently burned it, so uh, that was pretty fun.
Las Vegas = Las Vegas, fucking awesome dude, Sam Kinison bra, Aladdin hotel, lets do this shit!
Pauly and Cheech!
13. On the obscure tribute CD ?Show Me Your Hits: A Salute to Poison,? which mostly features Bret Michaels re-recording his own songs for some odd reason, you perform a really gay version of ?Unskinny Bop? called ?Unskinny Cock.? Dude. What in the fuck made you think that was a good idea? Did Bret talk you into doing that?
Well, first of all I haven?t heard the song since I did it, but I would like to hear a version and then comment on it, cause I thought at the time it was pretty funny, but if you say that its not funny or people didn?t like it then I guess it sucked
14. The soundtrack to your movie ?Son-In-Law? featured a cover of the old Hank Williams, Sr. song ?Hey Good Lookin?,? which has the distinction of being the first solo track released by C.C. DeVille after leaving Poison. The song also featured vocals by Spike of the London Quireboys. How on earth did that ungodly collaboration come about? You must know something about it. Do tell.
how that whole you know. song from hey good lookin, came about, obviously when you do a movie you want to get a single out of it, which I don?t think that really was, but to get anything at the time we were kinda stoked, especially after we did vince neil ?you?re invited but your friend can? come??which I thought was a pretty cool song for his solo project after motley, but as far as C.C DeVille and Spike of the London Quireboys I don?t know,,,I think that was maybe Peter Perterno from Hollywood records. It sounded good to me, I mean it was fun, we did the video shoot of me milkin some cows, and it was kinda retarded but at the end of the day we had a good time doing it.
15. Yes or No, has Pauly Shore ever:
Grown a chia pet = I tried to grow a chia pet once but it just didn?t work so no I guess
Used a Garden Weasel = haha, no
Snorted pixie sticks = no
Been booed of stage = I think probably several times
Been to a s?ance = Um yeah, I think so
Shit in a mailbox = no
Jacked off in a port-a-potty = no
Prank-called Charlie Sheen = um, no
Spent the night in jail = once
Touched another man?s penis = always, Bobby Lee, he?ll attest to that
16. Back in April 2003, you appeared on an episode of MTV?s ?Punk?d,? when Ryan Pinkston ambushed you as you showed up for a red carpet event and caught you off-guard with a barrage of insulting questions. Rumor has it that you weren?t very happy about that. Are you still bitter about it to this day? And is it safe to say that?s probably the last time you?ll ever appear on MTV?
Well, no I?m not bitter of it today I got punk?d and that?s what the show is about, the show is about catching people off guard, and he just caught me off guard, you know I thought it was the nickelodeon channel I was trying to be really cool to the kid, so I got up to him and was] like whats up and hes like what happened to your career? And I?m like uhh I don?t know, I?m just taking time off and he?s like. 8 years. So the rest of the night I was drinking heavily at the bar with screech and bud bundy, and the you know the cast of the surreal life. But its okay cause I got the kid back , I sent him to Michael Jackson?s house, his assholes hurting very badly right now?and Michael?s like, ?don?t fuck with the weasel don?t fuck with the weasel.? don?t worry I got him now.
Pauly with Nikki Sixx and Robin Crosby
17. Time for Metal Sludge’s walk down memory lane! What do you remember most about the following years:
1979 = The year 1979, Sister Sledge at the Roxy, my brothers theater in Pacific Beach, we are muthafuckin? family bitches! Iggy pop, Blondie, John Couger Mellon Camp, Pat Benetar. 1979 was fucking awesome, Blondie, check it out bitches
1982 = My first year of high school, unbelievable. Little gay boy cruising around the hallways of Beverly Hills high School with the fuckin? parachute pants
1985 = The year before I graduated, 85..I think I was break dancing, spinning on my head, learning the killer movies from sugar pop and pop and taco on linoleum out by my moms kitchen
1988 = I think it was 21 Jump Street time, dated a Penthouse Pet named Deborah Laufer, cool girl, I had a great time?1988 was the beginning of the demonstration of the combustions?
1990 = 90 was a great year, it was when I first started my MTV show, June 3, I think 1990. Totally Pauly hit the airwaves, not knowing what the fuck I was doing, not knowing what the fuck was gonna happen.. blah blah blah
1993 = I think it was Son in Law?filming MTV on the set of Son in Law, cross pollinating MTV and Disney, breaking ground.. Having a fucking blast..Tifany Amber Theisen, Oh yeah!
1996 = Juuuurrryy Duty? I think. I think it was Jury Duty, worked with the great actor by the name of Stanly Tucci, unbelievable actor, really fun time? Going to the premiere with Kato Katelin?that was the beginning of the end.
1999 = Touring a lot, doing a lot of stand up on the road, playing a lot of Funny Bones, working on my script, Pauly Shore is Dead, formally You?ll Never Weiz in This Town Again?havin? a good time
2001 = The middle of filming Pauly Shore is Dead, figuring it out, on the cuff, learning what do to and what not to do in the independent film world.
2003 = My niece was born? Lola , Lollaaasiittaa
2004 = Sold the movie, stoked, did a lot of film festivals, got back with my manager, got rid of my manager again, toured a lot, purchased another house?prepping for the new reality show coming this summer/early fall 2005.
Pauly with some guys from L.A. Guns
18. A hypothetical question: an incarcerated, clinically insane homicidal psychopath escapes from a state hospital by overthrowing a guard. He steals his sidearm, runs out of the hospital, and you?re unfortuntately the first person he comes into contact with on the outside. He kidnaps you at gunpoint, takes you to a run-down apartment he breaks into, and repeatedly hits you in the back of the head with the pistol?s butt until you?re unconscious. When you come to, you?re tied to a chair in front of a table. On the table, there are three different things. Your captor says you have to pick one of the three things and eat it, and if you don?t throw up within 20 minutes after eating it, he?ll let you go. Which of the following three things would you choose?
A) A soggy, rotten apple with live earthworms, tape worms, and centipedes crawling in an out of it (fruit group!);
B) A bowl that looks like cereal with milk, but instead of cereal, hat appears to be filled with human toenail clippings of varying size and coloration, and the milk smells a bit off (milk group!);
C) A big burrito that?s filled with something that looks like ground beef and cheese, but smells amazingly like human shit (meat group!).
Which will it be, Wiezel-man?
Probably the meat group!
19. The Last of Pauly Shore:
Last book you read = The Last Season by Phil Jackson which is the book about koby and shaq which Is really hysterical and I think they should make it into a comedy. I think they should remake that..cause a lot of books are made into movies I think they should make that into a feature film or a movie of the week starring like Ving Rhames as shaq and like Tommy Davidson as koby, like a comedy about the whole thing, cause I think that would be really funny. As far as what booking reading right now I?m reading how to make love like a porn star by jenna jameson.
Last new CD you purchased = baby weasel just gave me the brand new U2 cd which is much appreciated so I didn?t really purchase it but he purchased it for me , but I dig it , it?s a good cd
Last movie you saw in the theatre = Pauly Shore is Dead
Last chain restaurant you ate at = McDonalds Drive Thru
Last body part someone asked you to sign = tit
Last time you talked to Andy Dick = umm probably at the playboy mansion over halloween
Last time you wiezed the juice = I?m wiezing the juice every day so probably about seconds ago
Last time you brushed your hair = I don?t have any hair
Last time you shit yourself = just now
Last time you got drunk = after this interview
20. How long until you end up on a new season of ?The Surreal Life??
Surreal Life? Surreal Life?They called me to do that last episode, the one with Brigitte Neilson and Flava Flav and I was like no, I didn?t want to do it. But now that I saw it, I was like, fuck, I wish I would have done it because maybe I could have wiezed on Bridgette Neilson and got a sine off show with her call. Crazy Love.. you know, so hopefully they?ll be calling. I?m just waiting. They have my phone number.
But they did call me to do that show Bands Reunited on VH1. You know that show Bands Reunited, where they reunite all these fold fucked up bands. They wanted to reunite with the cast of Encino Man, I was like lets do this shit, this is on! And then they called Brendan Fraser and he said he?s not interested, and then they called Sean Astin and he said he wasn?t even in Encino Man!
21. Time for Metal Sludge?s Word Association! We mention a name and you give us your thoughts.
Tommy Lee = cool cat big cock..bad boy
Howard Stern = rips me to shreds
C.C. Deville = outrageous
Verne Troyer = Don?t fuck with him
Peter Sellos = ?
Gene Simmons = smart business man
Savannah = had a great personality
Axl Rose = Hated me
Rodney Dangerfield = Hated me, not I?m just kidding, he didn?t hate me. Rodney..they broke the mold when they made him
Riki Rachtman = nice jewish fellow
Pauly with his intern Jake and some chick at the Rainbow
Yo what?s up metal sludge heads! I know that might have been boring to you, but I?m lying on my back right now, answering these questions, touching myself, very relaxed. I?m a 36 year old man now, but I hope you guys continue to support metal. There?s definitely a place for it everywhere. Long live roooccck n rooolllll! Whats up with the hairspray and aqua net, and spandex? MEGA WEIZ! Long live heavy metalers, keep on shakin!? aiight..I?ll see you guys on the freeway? Peace, bitches, where are those sluts… alright, later.
Now that’s entertainment! Bet you didn’t come to Metal Sludge today expecting to read 20 Questions with Pauly Shore, did you? We’re just full of surprises like that.
Thanks to Pauly Shore for taking the time to answer our ridiculous questions, and to Pauly’s intern Jake for hooking us up. Actually, Jake has finished his internship and has headed back to school at Emerson College. But Jake is looking to hook up with skanky metal chicks, so if any of you Hos are interested, feel free to shoot him an e-mail at email@example.com.
For more information about the Wiezel himself, feel free to visit his Web site at www.paulyshore.com. Pauly’s new movie is also out on DVD on January 25th; to find out more about that, head on over to www.paulyshoreisdead.com.