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Sludgette of the Month – July 2003, Static Beth



Static Beth

Static Beth is no stranger to the Ho-Board. In fact, she has her very own website which features photos of a variety of celebrity dicks! She was also on top of her game and sent Jani Bon Neil her photo first when Jani had his spontaneous Sludgette Of The Month contest where the first chick to send in her photo got to be our Sludgette for July. Beth was first, and on top of that she loves the cock!

Congratulations to Beth for being our July 2003 Sludgette Of The Month!

Beth’s Data Sheet

1. Name and age: Beth (aka StaticBeth aka Queen of Cock), age 26

2. Height, weight and measurements: 4’10.5" (I have to add the half in)…hmmm weight, I’m a little heavier than I should be for my height…I’m gonna wuss out on that question. My measurements…..I’m a size 6 for a shoe, I used to be a 6.5" but my foot shrunk for some reason. My boobies went from a 36C to a 36D.

3. Where are you from?
I am from Bahston, home of Aerosmith and Godsmack. But I actually live outside of Boston (about 15 minutes) in the same city as Gary Cherone, woohoo! Sometimes I see him at the mall with his mom.

4. Ambitions: To be bigger then Plastic Caster Sisters.

5. Turn-ons: Nice face, nice arms, nice hair (although the completely bald look is kinda hot on some people), nice teeth. Teeth are so important. Hygiene is a good one too. You can’t be with someone that doesn’t’t shower, brush their teeth and deodorant on regularly. I was once with someone who’s pubes smelled like pee, PUKE! Oh and I love nice arms. Mmmmmmm….nice arms.

6. Turn-offs: Bad hygiene, a dirty house, bad teeth, super hairy body, out of control pubes, bad breath etc. People who can’t think for themselves…you know the type of people, they just go with the flow of others and cant’ make their own decisions. Lazy people. I like someone who says that they are going to do something and not procrastinate about it.

7. Favorite bands: GN’R back in the day. I did see Axl’s version back in December although I enjoyed it (maybe it was the alcohol and the fact that I flashed the entire arena on the big screen twice) it was not’t the same. Something was missing….can’t put my finger on who it was though (sarcasm mode off)

I do like Marilyn Manson. I’m not crazy about him as a person lately, but the new CD fuckin rules.

I used to adore Static-X, but I was a huge fan of Ken Jay, since he’s gone they do nothing for me. I’m glad that my boy, Jason Miller of Godhead hired him.

Can I say what band should give it up and call it a day? I hate the Red Hot Chili Peppers. They serve no purpose. Their new stuff is meaningless. Anyone who uses the word "shin dig" in a song should be shot and killed no questions asked.

8. What do you do for a living?
I’m a regional coordinator/administrative assistant in the Communications Department for a Nationally known news organization.

9. How long have you been coming to Metal Sludge?
Since the beginning. One of my very good friends turned me on to it when we worked together a few years ago.

10. You have a web page that shows off various pictures of celebrity cocks What’s your obsession with dicks and is Donna Anderson your hero?
I love the penis chart. I like to think of my website, StaticBeth.com, a visual version of the penis chart. They go hand in hand together. I don’t know what makes me love the cock so much. I think it started when I was an intern at a local radio station and someone gave me these little penis erasers. The white guy one had no balls, go figure. But after that I started collecting penis memorabilia such as shot glasses, tee shirts, stuffed animals and candles.

11. Who has the best cock you’ve ever seen?
Hmmm that’s a tough one. I think the obvious choice would be Phil Varone’s. Its long, it has girth and its pierced. Although that bad boy would probably split me in half, I like looking at it and have in person. It’s funny, his penis flacid is the same size as a regular sized penis erect.

Another favorite penis of mine is Steve Summers of Pretty Boy Floyd. There is something about it that is mesmerizing.

Beth inspects Phil’s package

12. Should guys shave their balls, yes or no?
Shave the fuckers. There is nothing worse then having a pubic hair caught in your teeth like old piece of dental floss.

13. Favorite outdoor activities: That would require leaving the house now wouldn’t it? Hmmm…..well there is this park near my work that I sit in and make fun of the people that walk by during lunch. I guess people watching is my favorite outdoor activity.

14. When did you lose your virginity and how was it?
I was at the young age of 14. It wasn’t that good at all. I mean how good could another 14 year old be. He was actually just one of my friends and I wanted to get it over with and he offered and yadda yadda….I bled all over the place, lol.

15. Every woman should have: One designer accessory or clothing in her closet. Whether it be a bag, a pair of shoes or a scarf.

16. Who’s the guy who you want to show on your page that you haven’t so far?
I would love to have Jason Hook on my web page, he’d be a wonderful asset. I’ve been looking for those pictures of Steven Tyler and Jesse James Dupree of Jackyl that were in PlayGirl a few years to no avail. If someone has them, please send them along to me.

17. The way to my heart is: A nice meal and a nice cock!

18. How does it feel to be our July 2003 Sludgette Of The Month?
I’m happy and excited. It’s an honor to finally be recognized by the people of Metal Sludge. I would like to thank all the naked men on my web page, if it weren’t for you I would have nothing to work with. I would especially like to thank Phil Varone, for spreading the word about, http://www.staticbeth.com to everyone and anyone who would listen :).

19. Personal motto: Things happen for a reason, whether it be good or bad…karma will make sure it all works out in the end.

My favorite quote is: Some people just pass themselves around like bean dip.

Congratulations to Beth for being our July 2003 Sludgette Of The Month and be sure to check out her cock website at www.StaticBeth.com.

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