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10?s w/ Up N’ Sludgers Teenage Casket Company!

10?s w/ Up N’ Sludgers Teenage Casket Company


Don’t look like teenagers in the least bit?

Time for an update with our "Up N’ Sludgers" column. Teenage Casket Company or TCC are based in the UK and it seems that they have a lot to say. Wonder if they can back it all up? We’ll let them have at it.

1. Who are you and where can people find out more about TCC? 


Rob Wylde: We’re the best rock band in our country, simple as that! If high energy, good time, kick ass, melodic party rock is your thing, check us out: 

www.teenagecasketcompany.com or www.myspace.com/teenagecasketcompany
Laney74: Imagine some screwed up combo of Motley Crue meets The Ramones, throw in a bit of the Goo Goo Dolls and a dab of Poison and you’ll get something close to TCC – but we’re British! With the different influences it’s a miracle we’ve ever wrote any songs but for some reason it works and it makes for an explosive live gig.
Spike: Just the best live act you’ll ever see, and the songs have great legs!
Jamie Delerict: We’re very good, he’s right. We’re a punk rock Bon Jovi. We’re Teenage Casket Company. If you can’t be arsed to type the whole name out, we’re simply TCC. Providing that we receive a decent push by influential people in the music biz, we’re taking over baby. If not, we’ll just simply disappear like so many other amazing rock ‘n roll bands with crazy dreams that came before us that were never given a decent crack at success. Either way, we’re having a blast doing this band and I think that it shows. Come see us play live to see the real TCC. Alternatively, you can buy our debut album "Dial It Up" from Bestbuy.com, CDbaby.com and many other internet retailers. Direct from our website is always good too. You get free shit with all orders.
2. Are you guys really teenagers, and what’s with the casket shit? Are you planning your death or someone elses?  

RW: Of course we’re teenagers! No, not really, but we were at one point in our lives. Does that count? As for the band name, you best ask Mr.Jamie Delerict. He has this elaborate concept behind it which I’ll let him bore you with!
JD: Well you see, whilst I spent 10 years doing my punk rock band PANIC, I always had the idea of "Teenage Casket Company" being a cool and unique band name to have at some point in the future. I had the whole concept of the coffin with wings logo for years too. I liked the idea of mixing dark imagery with some bright colours and having upbeat songs too. Clever as fuck I think. The meaning? Well if a business solely specialised in making coffins for children that have passed away, what would they call themselves? That’s right Einstein: The Kiddie Koffin Partnership! Whooooo!
S: This boy is a walking, talking advert for the band, the embodiment of Rock ‘n’ Roll!
3. What hard rock/heavy metal band should be dropped so you guys can take their place? 

RW: How long have you got? Well for a start, I’d like to take a nice big shit on the Darkness. Those ugly, talentless, overrated fuckers have no right to be where they are right now.
JD: Wow. There goes the Darkness support slot….I absolutely despise the music of Simple Plan. I hate them on so many levels, that I’m getting angry just typing this. I’m sure that they’re a smashing bunch of guys though. Hey Jean-Claude, let’s do lunch!
L74: Dude, the Plan rule and you know it! But yeah The Darkness strange one that. It’s not the band that I don’t like more the way the public have reacted to them and put them on this almighty platform that they’re some legendary rock band – I’m just confused at were they go next. Sure they busted their asses for a long, long time and deserve some success but they’re nothing new or original – they’re just some parody of days gone by. I have a problem with people going nuts for them but if you played these same poeple some classic Van Halen then they’d say what’s this shit! Hey people…. Justin Hawkins flying over the crowd on a fucking lion – Roth did that years ago on a surfboard and looked way fuckin cooler!
S: Mmmm….Too many to list, my head hurts!


4. Name 3 good things about living in the UK and name 3 bad things? 

RW: Good things: Teenage Casket Company (the saviours of rock ‘n roll), the beer and Rock City. Bad things: Robbie ‘Fucking’ Williams, the weather and The Darkness.
L74: Good things: Def Leppard (the last great rock band this country produced until us!), Simon Cowell and our sense of humour. Bad things: Music Fads, Not enough good hard rock and it’s fucking cold! 
S: Good things: TCC, er beautiful people and great architecture. Bad things: The Weather (sounds like an indie band!), crap TV and paying far too much fucking Tax!
JD: Good things: Nothing. I don’t like living in England. Having a proper cup of tea I suppose. Bad things: The people, the weather and the food. Yes, I would like to move to some where else.
5. What exactly is the goal for your crazy casket kiddie band? 

RW: Well, we honestly believe we have what it takes to be huge. We have the songs, the look, the stage show….we’ve got it all! Next year we’re out to get on good tours and show the world what we’re all about and how it should be done. Watch out, here we come!
L74: I’ve always set myself realistic goals and so far with this band they’ve come true. Within 18 months we recorded and released our debut album, toured the UK and played in the USA which was a dream come true. You just have to set a goal, acheive it and then set another…. I guess that’s all you can do. You have to be realistic but it doesn’t hurt to have dreams. Oh yeah, to get a Metal Sludge Interview too…;) I can die a happy man now!
S: Just to have the chance to show the world that this band has got its shit together… great songs, great live show, great work ethic, we have what takes to be a classic band! Majors take note!
JD: When we first formed, we set ourselves goals and even though we’ve just completed a very successful 2005 campaign, we’re not where we want to be at all just yet. We also set ourselves a deadline to achieve some kind of realistic success, so 2006 is literally "do or die" for us. We want to be able to do this band full time and professionally and if that doesn’t happen next year then….I’m going fucking solo! Screw you other TCC chumps!
6. Out of all the national acts you guys have opened for, which one was the coolest, and which one was the biggest bunch of dipshits you’ve ever met? 

RW: The coolest were definitely Vain. In fact Davy Vain was the first guy to sign our mailing list at the first show we did with them. Although back at the hotel afterwards, I was being drunk and obnoxious in the corridor and he came out of his room and told me to keep the noise down. Sorry Davy!

The biggest dipshit was without a doubt Adam Bomb. He spent 3 hours soundchecking (something he does a lot apparently) and treated us and everyone around him like shit. Dude, reality check: Does anyone really want to hear an hour long guitar solo or any of your shitty little songs? No, fuck off. Before he went on stage one night, Jamie and I sneaked into his dressing room and Jamie grabbed his pink sequined shoes and spat a big green lump into them. After the show Adam was hanging around and being a cock and we had told a bunch of girls what Jamie had done. They were giggling and pointing at his stupid slippers. Being the arrogant prick that he is, he thought that they were admiring his gay shoes but we knew different.
S: I’m going to drop the BOMB, someone should drop one on him. Adam Bomb – stop being an arse right now!
L74: I gave Adam Bomb the benefit of the doubt, here’s a guy who’s been doing this rock and roll stuff for the best part of twenty years plus, always puts 110% to his performance, must have a million stories to tell but has probably been burnt a million times by people so if if he wanted to be arrogant then that was fine but he took the piss just a little too much. Playing a gig with him just the other week kind of sealed things. He covered up all our Merch with his and again took forever to soundcheck, once he’d finished he told us we had ten minutes to get our stuff on stage, soundcheck and then do our set in twenty minutes. Whilst we’re playing he goes round telling people to not enjoy us cause they’d paid to see ‘him’ not the support band – how fucked up is that?! Here’s a guy who alledgedly gets rid of one of the best drummers in the world for being too much of a showman! His new drummer even charges the support bands to use his kit – you’re playing a bar for fucks sake not an arena! I feel bad for slagging him off cause I have friends who really look up to this guy and dig his tunes but this was all way out of line.
We’ve had the pleasure to share the stage with some awesome bands though particularly our rock n roll brothers The Erotics www.eroticrocknroll.com and the dudes from TrashLight Vision www.trashlightvision.com These are all top drawer guys who deserve every success that comes to them.
JD: We opened up a bunch of gigs for LA Guns recently too. As well as playing a few nights with "Da Gunz", I was also lucky enough to be working for them as their merch guy and lived on the super-deluxe tour bus with the fellas too. I had an absolute blast and the line up that they have right now is amazing. I was treated like a brother by the entire band and their main man and "go to" guy Steve Riley is a grade A human being. I highly recommend seeing this line up play live and rock fans really need to hear their new album "Tales From The Strip". A return to form indeed. We did an acoustic tour with Mitch Malloy a while back and he is an absolute diamond and a ridiculously talented guy. You need to hit him up for 20 Questions. He’ll give you some good Danger Danger stories and tell you all about going out for coffee with Kip Winger! You don’t want to hear about the cool rock stars though do you? OK then. Well Rob summed up the Adam Bomb thing. He tours relentlessly over here, which is admirable, but he has such a bad reputation among support bands and even gig goers, that he’ll be finished soon in the UK. He’s a fucking nobody anyway, not a rock star. I have to say also, that I’ve toured with the Misfits a lot in the past and also had the privilege of being Marky Ramone’s guitarist for a bunch of shows in 2003, so I got to hang out with one of my heroes quite a bit. Let’s just say that he broke my fucking heart on a number of occasions. Kinda schizo. You need to hit up Jerry Only from the Misfits with 20 Questions for next Halloween too. A great man that will always speak his mind.
7. What’s the smallest and largest crowd you’ve played in front of? 

RW: The largest was probably opening for LA Guns in Nottingham with about 300 people crammed into a small club. The smallest was probably on our US tour this year with The Erotics when we played a place called the Trash Bar in Brooklyn to about 12 people!
JD: Yeah Brooklyn. I remember from the stage, actually going around the entire crowd and introducing myself personally to each of them and having a little chat. It was an intimate moment for sure. That was a little trick that I learned from Sting when The Police played CBGB’s for the first time. I think that we may have played to less than that before though. I’ve never actually counted thank god! All bands go through it though and we give 110% every single time. I think that the Vain shows were probably the biggest crowds that I’ve had with this band.
L74: I don’t think it ever really affects the band’s performance how many people are in the audience – most of the time you can’t see out anyway. It’s always nice when there’s people hanging over the barrier singing your songs back to you though!


JDG of TCC gets IYF! (in your face)

8. How has Myspace helped TCC gain an International audience? 

RW: It’s helped us out big time. It’s almost as if you don’t need a website anymore. It’s helped to start a real buzz about us all over the world. I’m shocked as to how many people list Teenage Casket Company in their favourite bands list. That rules. It’s also helping with our Bon Jovi support slot campaign in which we’re trying to get on their UK tour next year. Jon are you listening? Help us out dude!
JD: Oh he’s listening alright. Or at least his people are. We actually set up a "Punk Rock Bon Jovi" MySpace page to help with our idea and it was really picking up some steam until we had it shut down as apparently a "third party" objected to it. I’ll let Laney 74 tell you all about that and our campaign as it’s his brainchild!
L74: Me and Rob had been talking about what would be the ideal tour support to get and it had to be Bon Jovi. Not because they’re playing stadiums (sure that’d be nice) but because the two styles would really compliment each other. And why not, why can’t this fuckin nuts idea work? Remember back in the day when Jon gave supports to Skid Row, Firehouse and Cinderella when they were unknowns? He knows how hard it is for bands ’cause he was the same. Sure things have changed over the years and these big tours are all money driven but all we’d want is twenty minutes to rock like fuck and show them what we can do. Me and Rob were sick of hearing interviews on the radio with previous supports who talked about Bon Jovi like they were some kind of joke and you know for a fact they’re only doing the gig ’cause it’ll sell them a shit load of albums. Fuck you guys, have some respect – the Jovi rule. So the MySpace page was our way of trying to get the message across but like Jamie said, it only took a few weeks before someone heard about it and had it shut down – doh! Anyway, we’re still spreading the word through www.punkrockbonjovi.co.uk and people are really digging the idea that maybe, just maybe, it could be possible! 
9. What is the bands motto, and rules of rock to live by? 

RW: "Do Or Die". TCC is a 24 hour, 7 day a week job for us all. We live, breathe, eat and sleep this band and are willing to do whatever it takes to make it. Our personal lives have suffered dramatically because of this band but one thing’s for sure, if we can’t make this crazy rockstar dream happen, then no fucker else can!
JD: It’s certainly a full time job for us, all be it for bugger-all money. There’s no gimmicks. We’re not trying to be anything that we’re not. We’re real. We are what you see and hear. We want to make a difference and we believe in ourselves. Myself and Rob are partners in crime and song-writing brothers, but we argue like cat and dog over band matters sometimes purely because we believe in TCC so much. We had a heated argument over a new shirt design the other night! I’m a punk rocker and he’s stuck in the 80’s, what can you do?! What was the question? Oh, a motto. I like to tell the lads before we hit the stage that "we only have 35 minutes to re-write rock history"!


Laney 74 is no relation to Wednesday 13.

Not that we know of anyway?

10. Metal Sludge word association with old skool and new skool bands 1-10. 

Avenged Seven Fold =

RW: Shit name, shit band!

S: Somebody help me out, I’m just the drummer!

L74: Old Skool for the Nu Skool – that’s what the kids say right?

JD: Screaming + metal riffs + hunky boys with nice hair and tight black T-shirts = BORING. Nice logo though.
Motley Crue =

RW: True rock and roll stars.

JD: The best rock/metal band of all time.

L74: Why does it take a band from twenty years ago to come and kick the ass of everyone else and show us what a real rock show is about?

S: Now ya talkin. 
My Chemical Romance =

RW: Some decent songs.

L74: Emo with Hooks!

S: Good Hair!

JD: Fucking Shit!
Hanoi Rocks =

RW: Look cool but are way overrated. Give me Michael Monroe and Demolition 23.

JD: Inspired the generation before us. Great live band, but lacking anything memorable recording-wise.

L74: Say ‘Hi’ to Adler for me!

S: Hanoi Cocks
Butch Walker =

L74: One word – Legend!

RW: Should write some songs with me and Jamie.

S: ‘Hi I’m Butch, and I want to write songs with you guyz’ Come on Butch!

JD: Should have done a better job on The Donnas "Gold Medal" album. Crank the fucking guitars up again Butch!
Skid Row =

RW: Awesome fuckin’ band!

S: Now ya walkin.

L74: Riot ‘Fuckin’ Act! 

JD: One more time with Sebitchian fellas come on! Think of the money honey!
Busted =

L74: TCC-Lite!

RW: I want them to reform so that me and Laney 74 can join. I love ‘em!

S: Why have Busted, you’ve now got Son of Dork!

JD: Bunch of cunts.
Backyard Babies =

RW: Nice and sleazy.

S: Backyard Babies doing ‘Nice ‘n’ Sleazy’ by The Stranglers….nice.

L74: Still stickin to their guns – respect due!

JD: Again, another fantastic live band that need to record something that matches their intensity on stage.
LA Guns =

RW: Oooh yeah, alright now!

S: LA’s sunshine sons!

L74: Tracii Who?

JD: I’m proud to say that they are my brothers. I can’t wait to hook up with those guys again. Buy their new album!
The Dangerfields =

RW: Crazy band with a demented singer/drummer.

S: By far the fastest drummer / singer EVER !

L74: Bands with singing drummers suck right? Hell No – rock to the max… baby!!

JD: The best punk rock band that the UK has produced in the last 10 years. Catch us both on tour in February and March!


Is that Steve West of Danger Danger up front?

11. Bonus Round: Talk shit at anyones expense, get shit off your chest, who needs to be verbally abused and why? 

RW: We’d love to be given the opportunity to get up on stage with any of todays, so called rockstars and kick their sorry little asses to the floor. For far too long, record labels have been signing stupid, hyped up bands who can’t write a decent song to save their lives. Get out of the fuckin’ way and we’ll show all of you fuckers how it’s really done. TCC style!
S: Being abusive in the verbal or physical is the first port of call for the loser, so here goes…. Record Labels you are fucked, it doesn’t matter what clothes you wear, or what hair style’s you have, it’s about the music, so let’s put the emphasis on that!
L74: I’m the chicken shit quiet one, the mouth is below……
JD: You see, that’s why we love you so much Metal Sludge. We’ve talked lots of shit already, but you still want more. Always happy to oblige: I’m sick and fucking tired of the rock bands in this country that are using Daddy’s money to buy their way onto tours and onto radio stations and the TV. Am I jealous? Of course I fucking am! Money makes the music business go round, pay-offs is the name of the game and TCC, like so many other bands, are underdogs and struggle to make ends meet on a day-to-day basis. Yeah, it’s our choice to purchase a set of guitar strings over some bread and a pint of milk, so step the fuck aside, cuz the real deal is coming through! We are the truth and you can’t handle the truth! Fuck you to the jealous and lazy bands in our country and cheers to you Metal Sludge. We’re proud to be the first PROPER UK band to be interviewed by you! 


http://www.myspace.com/jamiedelerict   or   http://www.teenagecasketcompany.com

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