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CLASSIC SLUDGE … A Really Fat Sludge Wire For October 13th 1999

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Sludgewire_Jan_1_2018_1CLASSIC SLUDGE
A Really Fat Sludge Wire For October 13th 1999

Wow…what in the world were we thinking?

The internet was in an infant stage and Metal Sludge was just starting out too. But during that first calendar year from September 1998 through late 1999 we uploaded several dozen Sludgewire columns.

As we continue to celebrate Twenty Years (1998-2018) of Metal Sludge, we give you these crazy-ass Sludgewires from wayback.

In a nutshell we would take various bits off the “news wire” from websites, press releases, pulications and print it – then add our ‘edgy’ comments.

If you’re REALLY politically correct, we suggest you DO NOT read these, these are not for the faint of heart.

Disclaimer: The comments made, the views of the (then) writers, the news items themselves and all the related content is NOT current and does not reflect the thoughts, or opinions of anyone at Metal Sludge.

These columns were published in 1998 and 1999.

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A REALLY FAT SLUDGE WIRE
10/13/1999

 

We always say that our SludgeWires are huge, but this time we mean it.  It’ll take you 5 hours to get through all this shit, so go grab a beverage, turn off the phone, and prepare to read all this shit.  And we want you to read it all!  Don’t be a dick and scan over this shit, read it all.  They’ll be a test if you don’t.

This week we have Jani Bon Neil, Ozzy Stillbourne, and a few briefs comments from everyone’s favorite Ho, Donna Anderson!  

We’ve gotten more emails in the last day about this than practically anything else in the last year.  It’s about Gerri Miller, former editor of Metal Edge.  It looks like Ger has a new job.  Here is the press release.

Gerri Miller one of Americas most respected rock journalists has joined the MHR team, Gerri will write a US News section as well as providing exclusive hot interviews direct from LA.

Gerri will be known to most European readers for her work over many years with  Metal Edge Magazine.

MHR more details:   The magazine will sell for £3.00 plus P&P [ mail for postal charges] and will include a cd mounted on the cover of the first issue. It is hoped to include a cd on every issue if the quality is permiting. Our 2nd issue will be out January 31st and we then hope to go 6 weekly.
for more information please e mail: mhr.magazine@virgin.net
FOR THE AMERICANS !!! It has been to hard for US fans to read Europeans magazines in the past, MHR has today struck a deal with the NEH web site http://nehrecords.com  to stock the magazine at a reasonable price, for more details mail them at neh@interfold.com the company will handle dist within the US to other retailers for the time being.

One of rock’s most respected journalists?  On what planet?  Is she suppose to represent the US?  As if foreign countries don’t already have a bad opinion of the US, now we have Gerri Miller representing us!  Fuck, maybe she’ll leave the Metal Edge website and move to Poland or something.  

Gerri said this on the Metal Edge Bulletin Board.

“I’m adding this to the many other print and Web outlets I write for. I’m doing a column for them and will be doing interviews with Warrant and other bands soon.”

Warrant???  Wow, an interview with Warrant.  How current.  It’s good to see Gerri has her fingers on what’s popular right now.  Maybe she’ll tell us how much Jani Lane’s kids weigh right now, or maybe if Jerry Dixon gets married again she can cover that.  Maybe after Warrant, Gerri could interview the Guttersluts.  Aim high.  If you want the real scoop on Warrant, you know where to come.  Metal Sludge.  It’s where the down boys go!  Jani Lane love us.  Just ask him.  He goes around to bars saying he’s me.  

Now onto more stupid news.  This is from Hard Radio.

BLACK SABBATH vocalist Ozzy Osbourne is quite unhappy at the band’s recent Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame nomination. In a press statement released recently, Osbourne expressed both his disdain over the Rock Hall nomination and his wish that Black Sabbath’s name be removed from the ballot. “Just take our name off the list,” Ozzy’s statement began. “Save the ink. Forget about us. The nomination is meaningless, because it’s not voted on by the fans. It’s voted on by the ‘supposed’ elite of the Industry and the Media, who’ve never bought an album or concert ticket in their lives, so their vote is totally irrelevant to me. Let’s face it, Black Sabbath have never been media darlings. We’re a people’s band and that suits us just fine.” According to SonicNet, several members of The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame’s voting board took exception to his remarks, but others supported his right to express himself or even agreed with his points. And at least one critic took a more philosophical position on the matter. “A holy fool is still a fool,” said longtime pop-music critic and rock hall voter Dave Marsh. Robert Hull, a voter and the executive producer of Time-Life Music in Alexandria, Va., said Osbourne is “full of s**t.” “He’s looking at it as a way of promoting himself, and he’s lucky he was even nominated, given the fact that there are wonderful artists, a lot from the classic era of rock ‘n’ roll, who have not made it in. To use this an opportunity to bad-mouth the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame to generate publicity for himself is a crying shame.” Hull, who said he “spends more per week on music products than most people do per year,” said Black Sabbath had been his first choice in this year’s nominees, but he added, “I would like to officially rescind my vote because of that kind of pompous behavior.” Reprise Records President Howie Klein, who serves on the voting board of directors, had a different take on Osbourne’s rant. “Everything that Ozzy said is true,” he said. “He’s smart enough to know that his music appeals to alienated young men and always has and probably always will. I wish the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame had a special category for people who bite the heads off birds and animals. If they did, I would vote for him.” This is the third year in a row that Sabbath has been nominated for inclusion into the Hall Of Fame.

I agree 100% with what Ozzy said.  Fuck the Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame.  It’s a fucking joke.  A bunch of suits that have no idea what the fuck is going on.  And fuck Cleveland too!

DREAM THEATER have chosen TILES as the opening band on their forthcoming European tour running from November 8-24…

That’s 2 bands for the price of 1 that nobody cares about.  Add Union and Dokken to the tour and call it Snoozeapoloza.

KING DIAMOND have booked studio time from January 8 until February 20 to record their new record. European dates will begin in May (possible festivals) with a handful (7-10) of South American dates planned as well…

In related news, various pets have disappeared in the neighborhood near the studio.  You know, he’s Satanic.  Pets.  Sacrifices.  Get it?  Fuck off, you know it’s funny!

GREAT WHITE’s Psycho City has been reissued by Axekiller with four bonus tracks added: ‘Livin’ On The Edge’, ‘Who’s Driving Your Plane’, ‘Somebody To Love’ and ‘Waysted Rock Ranger’. The label also recently reissued GW’s self-titled debut with five bonus tracks: ‘Down At The Doctors’, ‘Train To Nowhere’, ‘The Hunter’, ‘Red House’ and Rock N’ Roll’…

“Down At The Doctors” is a story about where Warrant groupies go after Warrant plays in their town.

Here’s the the latest update on ‘potential guest stars’ for BLACK SABBATH guitarist Tony Iommi’s upcoming solo album, due out in February: Ozzy Osbourne, Rob Halford, Brian May, Phil Anselmo, Ian Astbury, Peter Steele, Henry Rollins, Ice-T, Dave Grohl and Billy Corgan. Due to legal/label hassles, it’s not sure if all of these artists will actually appear on the album though…

Ice-T?  Where the fuck did that come from?  All the rest of the names make sense, but Ice-T came out of nowhere.  He’s cooler than Billy Corgan though!  Fucking bald dick.  I’d rather listen to Stephen Pearcy sing.

According to net sources, EVERY MOTHER’S NIGHTMARE recently opened for WARRANT and played new material (two songs were ‘Push’ and ‘3’) off an upcoming studio album. CINDERELLA’s Jeff LaBar and Fred Coury joined Warrant onstage for a jam of ZZ TOP’s ‘Tush’, and after the show LaBar said the new Cinderella album should be finished by the end of the month…

According to net sources??  What the fuck is that?  Is it that hard to verify if EMN opened for Warrant or not?  Just say EMN opened for Warrant.  Quit trying to make stupid ass news sound important.  

ANTHRAX recently invited former frontman Joey Belladonna into the studio to record a cover of THE TEMPTATIONS classic ‘Ball Of Confusion (That’s What The World Is Today)’ as a duet with John Bush. The song will be included on Anthrax’s forthcoming collection, Return Of The Killer A’s, due out in late November. The band is planning on going on a brief tour with both singers; Belladonna will kick off the show and will be replaced midway through the set by Bush. Anthrax’s management stresses that Belladonna is not rejoining the band, and this single and tour is strictly a one-off…

If you want to meet Belladonna during the brief tour, you can meet him out by the merchandise stand before the show where he will be selling shirts and beer!

Watch for the announcement of a CONTRABAND-like supergroup due out through Portrait featuring GREAT WHITE’s Jack Russell and Michael Lardie along with NIGHTRANGER/DAMN YANKEE’s Jack Blades, POISON’s C.C. Deville and RATT’s Bobby Blotzer…

Good idea, considering how well Contraband did.

BRET MICHAELS will release a new solo CD, Ballads, Blues & Stories, next February. Apparently there will be a reworked version of ‘Every Rose Has It’s Thorn’ on it…

The original title of the album was Balding, Ballads, Blues & Bullshit.  Another good idea, considering how well his last solo album did.

From Metal Edge and our personal friend Gerri Miller.

KISS and THE WHO are among the artists slated to take part in a concert event to launch a new Internet company called Pixelon at the MGM Grand Hotel in Las Vegas later this month. iBash 99, hosted by DAVID SPADE and CINDY MARGOLIS, will be Webcast at the company’s site, www.pixelon.com.

How fitting, Kiss and The Who.  Maybe they could tour senior citizen homes in Florida because that’s where both those geriatric bands belong.  When God said, “Let their be light”, The Who flipped the switch.  And Kiss is so old I think they played the Boston Tea Party.

DANNY VAUGHN and TYKETTO cohorts MICHAEL CLAYTON and JAIMIE SCOTT are gearing up to record a new album for U.K. label Z Records at a studio in upstate New York later this month. “I’ve been writing all along,” says Vaughn, who was not on Tyketto’s last release, Shine (STEVE AUGERI, now in JOURNEY, did the vocals on that). “Some of it was written while I was with the band, but some of it is a little different,” notes Vaughn, who has been living in Nashville, Tennessee, where he has done session work as a singer and acoustic guitar player. The band will NOT be called Tyketto, but will most likely be called Vaughn or Danny Vaughn. A spring release, followed by a U.K. tour, is planned.

How about the name Vaughn Halen?  

LOCAL H has lost half its lineup-drummer JOE DANIELS, tired of touring, quit the band. He has been replaced by BRIAN ST. CLAIR, formerly of TRIPLE FAST ACTION. Local H launches a tour on October 19 in Ann Arbor, Michigan that will run through November 14 in St. Louis, Missouri. On October 30 in Chicago, they’ll celebrate Halloween by donning AC/DC duds to play a set of AC/DC covers.

Local H is as exciting as wet napkins.  

TOMMY LEE turned himself over to police in North Carolina yesterday, surrendering on an outstanding warrant for assault at a 1997 concert in Greensboro. He was released on $5000 bail. The trial is set for sometime in November.

First Tommy gets dreadlocks and starts hanging out with Snoop Dog, now he’s trying to be like Old Dirty Bastard and get arrested!  Seriously though, this is totally stupid.  What a waste of time.  Tommy threw a beer at this pussy and that’s assault?  Isn’t there more important problems to deal with??  Tommy should fuck him in the ass.

SEVENDUST canceled nine shows so drummer MORGAN ROSE could spend time with his newborn daughter KAYLA MORRAY and his wife RAYNA. The dropped dates will be picked up later. MACHINE HEAD, ORANGE 9MM, and DDT will perform without Sevendust on the three upcoming northwest U.S. shows and four in Canada from October 15 through 24.

Look for an interview with Morgan Rose sometime in the near future.  Hopefully.

THE SCORPIONS had to cancel plans for another six weeks of U.S. tour dates when guitarist RUDOLF SCHENKER injured his back (a disc became infected during a spa visit). Drummer JAMES KOTTAK is taking advantage of the unexpected time off to record a new album with his band KRUNK, who’ve already shot a video for one of the songs.

And the purpose of Krunk having a video is….?

CANDLEBOX has undergone another lineup change, and now KEVIN MARTIN is the only remaining original member. The latest to leave is guitarist PETER KLETT, who, according to Martin, “didn’t want to do it anymore, he didn’t want to tour.” Martin is working with guitarist ROB ALLEN (ROB RULE) and and drummer BRIAN TISCHY (SLASH’S SNAKEPIT, PRIDE & GLORY) on a new album that he says will be more rockin’ than predecessor Happy Pills.

NOTE TO KEVIN MARTIN:  Take a hint!  They are trying to tell you something.  You suck!  Give it up already.  Either that, or he never showers and they couldn’t take it anymore.

MATT SORUM and ex-SEX PISTOL STEVE JONES were on hand to see LENNY KRAVITZ rock the Great Western Forum in Los Angeles on Friday (October 8), where Jones arrived too late to see BUCKCHERRY, whose now-gold album he co-produced. The band went on at the early hour of 7 PM, when most concertgoers were still in traffic, but those who were there got to see a great set from the hometown boys. At an after-set party populated by family and friends, singer JOSHUA TODD was looking forward to four more dates with KRAVITZ, a subsequent Australian tour, and another month in the States before a trip to Japan that will culminate in a New Year’s Eve show with AEROSMITH in Osaka. Buckcherry has been nominated for two Billboard Music Video Awards for “Lit Up,” Best Clip (competing with KORN’s “Freak on a Leash,” LIMP BIZKIT’s “Nookie,” also nominated for the Maximum Vision award, METALLICA’s “Turn the Page,” and ROB ZOMBIE’s “Living Dead Girl”) and Best New Artist Clip (competing with CHEVELLE’s “Mia,” KID ROCK’s “Bawitdaba,” POWERMAN 5000’s “When Worlds Collide,” and SYSTEM OF A DOWN’s “Sugar”). The awards will be given out November 12 at the Loews Santa Monica Beach Hotel in Santa Monica, California.

How the fuck is Buckcherry’s up for a video award?  That video fucking sucks, just like Buckcherry.   Fuck, those guys are all in 12 step programs and will probably crash and burn.  Of course, so am I, but I only write for Metal Sludge.  I’m not getting paid for this shit.

She wore a bikini and he wore shorts to their first wedding in 1995, but PAMELA and TOMMY LEE say they’ll wear even less to their second, to be held on New Year’s Eve in Malibu. The reunited duo plan to re-wed in the nude, and expect the déshabillé from the guests. Presumably, the couple will be dressed in a segment of a new MTV series called Diary, in which artists narrate their life stories.

Now time for a Donna Anderson commentary:
You know, the Pam and Tommy novelty has totally worn off for me.  I use to be a huge Pam fanatic, but she’s gotten lame.  They bitch about their video being stolen, yet everywhere you turn now Tommy’s bon bons (nuts) are hanging out and so are Pam’s tits.  Enuff Z Nuff!   Can’t you guys keep your clothes on and stop trying to get attention.  It’s gotten old.
I also saw Pamela on Howard Stern last week, and I thought she didn’t look that good.  She’s not going to age well.  She wore the same top on Howard that she wore to the MTV Awards.  She could of at least changed clothes, that’s her job.  Wear some different stuff.  Plus she’s full of shit.   She says she has her implants out, has no scars, and her breasts are more sensitive.  Bullshit!  Just like when she said on Howard years ago that she never bleached her pussy.  And she still isn’t natural.  I’m glad Howard at least busted her about it.  Thank you.
That commentary was brought to you by Donna Anderson, who appears courtesy of Metal Sludge.

METALLICA, whose S&M double album featuring their concert with the San Francisco Symphony Orchestra will be out November 23, has scheduled two more orchestra shows, once again conducted by MICHAEL KAMEN. The first will be in Berlin, Germany at the Velodrome on November 19 and the second, at New York’s Madison Square Garden on the 23rd.

Lars will probably have those recorded as well and have them released next year.  Lars is a lot like Gene Simmons, except people have respect for Gene.  Lars is just a poseur.

While a new IRON MAIDEN album won’t be out till next year, X Factor and Virtual XI will be reissued on November 30 as will BRUCE DICKINSON’s Balls to Picasso in coming months. Dickinson’s new Scream For Me will be out on November 2, and so will several TWISTED SISTER reissues (Come Out and Play, Love is For Suckers, You Can’t Stop Rock N Roll) and the collected Early Works. SEBASTIAN BACH’s Bring ‘Em Bach Alive finally gets a U.S. release on that date as well. HELLOWEEN’s Metal Jukebox and MARILLION’s Marillion.com will be out November 9. Looking ahead to 2000, DEEP PURPLE’s Concertos: Live at Royal Albert Hall with the London Symphony will be out January 18, DIO’s Magica hits February 8, and UNION’s The Blue Room will be released Feburary 22. March 7 will bring five reissues from ENUFF Z’NUFF (Live, Peach Fuzz, Seven, Tweaked, and 1965), and an as yet untitled Alice Cooper studio album will be out April 18.

Gerri, Gerri, Gerri.  1965???  I believe it’s called 1985!!!  That’s about 20 years difference.   That’s why she’s one of American’s Best Journalists.  Proofreading is her specialty!  Why is that shit being reissued?  Those Enuff Z Nuff CDs are still available, cause it’s not like stores sold out of them.

Two heavy Best Of discs hit stores this week: Great Gonzos: The Best of TED NUGENT and BLUE OYSTER CULT’s Don’t Fear the Reaper will be released October 12. A LED ZEPPELIN greatest hits compilation of tracks from the band’s first four albums and enhanced CD material including rare early live footage, will be out November 23.

Isn’t there already a few Ted Nugent “Best Of” albums already out?  Yeah, there is.  Probably because Ted hasn’t had a solo hit since the 70s, so he has to keep releasing the same old shit.  

DREAM THEATER sixth album Scenes From a Memory will be out October 26. It’s the band’s first album with new keyboardist JORDAN RUDESS.

Just reading that puts me to sleep.  

Mark your TV Guide: CHRIS CORNELL will perform on The Late Show with DAVID LETTERMAN on November 15 and MÖTLEY CRÜE will appear on The Tonight Show with JAY LENO on November 24.

Great, I love to hear Vince sing out of key on TV.  You’d think Nikki would learn that Vince sounds like shit live, unless they do a Britney Spears and have Vinnie lip sync it.  Don’t you mean, N Sync it?

Reunited and it sounded so good–L.A. GUNS rocked hometown L.A. last night at the Key Club, where the original (recorded) lineup of the band kicked major butt with a favorite-filled set of songs including “Sex Action,” “One More Reason,” “Kiss My Love Goodbye,” “Over the Edge,” “Never Enough,” “Electric Gypsy,” “Ballad of Jayne,” and ‘Rip and Tear,” and a cover of THE BEATLES’ “I Saw Her Standing There.” “We’re back,” PHIL LEWIS stated the obvious to the crowd. “I hope this is going to be the first of many gigs in Hollywood.” Afterward, a very glad-to-be-back KELLY NICKELS said that the show had been recorded for a live album to be released by Deadline/Cleopatra. LAG left post-show for three more shows (Las Vegas, Nevada, Phoenix, Arizona, and Anaheim, California), after which Nickels will take his girlfriend to Paris for 10 days (thanks to new label Portrait/Sony’s money, with which he also bought a new Harley-Davidson motorcycle). Then, LAG will head out on the road for a month of U.S. shows.

Wait a minute…did Gerri say that Kelly Nickles will take his chick to Paris for 10 days thanks to new label Portait/Sony?  I thought all that shit fell through.  Are they signed again?  L.A. Guns never announced that.  What’s the dilly-yo?  Maybe she means Perris Records.    Maybe Kelly is taking his chick out to Texas to watch Tom Mathers sell CDs that nobody cares about.

Those who got to the Key Club early were treated to a great set from BEYOND CONTROL, the hot young band that celebrated drummer BRANDON BROWN’s 14th birthday yesterday with a pre-show party. The hard rocking trio has been nominated for an L.A. Music Award in the Hard Rock category, and will perform at the awards ceremony on November 15 at the House of Blues.  Quite a few fellow musicians were on hand for the show, including MARQ TORIEN, GILBY CLARKE, TAIME DOWNE, MITCH PERRY, BRENT WOODS (whose new venture is a full-service recording, post-production, and ProTools facility), and JOE LeSTÉ, D.J. ASHBA, CHUCK GARRIC, and BRENT MUSCAT, who have teamed up in a new, as yet untitled band. LeSté said he’s leaving BANG TANGO behind to concentrate on this new outfit, which, besides guitarist Ashba (ex-BULLETBOYS) and bassist Garric (ex-L.A. GUNS), rhythm guitarist Muscat (ex-FASTER PUSSYCAT), includes DANNY PARKER on drums. LeSté describes the music as old-school heavy rock along the lines of AC/DC and GUNS N’ROSES.

Fuck Beyond Control!  How’s that?  Fuck those little bastards.  I know nothing about them, but I already hate them.  And I hate their roadies too.  Fuck them.   Marq Torien, Brent Woods, Mitch Perry, Chuck Garric, D.J. Ashba?  Are any of those guys even worth mentioning?  Maybe Torien, cause at least he did something, even though that was 10 years ago.  But the rest of the guys she mentioned are about as important as the kid that runs the drive thru at my local Taco Bell.  

VAN HALEN’s Video Hits, Volume 1 will be released on DVD on November 2 with the bonus track “Without You (which wasn’t on the VHS version released in 1996).

Why is “Without You” on it if it’s called Video Hits, Volume 1?  That was never a hit.

The first pressing of KORN’s forthcoming Issues CD will feature a limited edition five track bonus EP, including the songs “A.D.I.D.A.S (Level X Wet Dream Mix)”, “Good God (Headnut Mix)”, “Got the Life (Jeff Abraham Mix)”, “Twist/Chi (Live)” and the previously unreleased “Jingle Balls.” The album, due out November 16, will be preceded by first single “Falling Away From Me,” the video for which will debut on TV’s South Park’s Halloween episode on October 27 (in Canada on October 30). Animated facsimiles of the band members will be seen in the episode. Last night in Los Angeles, KORN won the Favorite Pioneering Artist and Favorite Rock Fan Site awards at the first annual ARTISTdirect Online Music Awards held at the House of Blues. LIMP BIZKIT took the Favorite Hard Rock award at the ceremony, where celebrity presenters included METALLICA’s KIRK HAMMETT and guitarist DAVE NAVARRO.

Maybe instead of killing Kenny, they’ll kill Jonathan Davis.  

LIMP BIZKIT frontman FRED DURST, already a music mogul and video director, has his sights on the movie biz–he’ll direct a Warner Bros. movie thriller called Nature’s Cure, based on his own idea. It’s about a group of young people forced to travel together whose true personalites come out on the journey. Meanwhile, Limp Bizkit is toplining the Family Values tour and will follow it with another headlining trek that starts November 4 in Tampa, Florida. METHOD MAN and REDMAN support.

Gerri spelled ‘personalities’ wrong.  Nice typo.  That’s why she’s one of American’s most respected journalists!  We might have a typo here or there, but it’s stuff that sneaks past Microsoft Spell Check.  Gerri doesn’t even have a spell check, so how professional is that?

CREED debuts at #1 on the Billboard chart with second album Human Clay on the strength of 315,000 records sold, topping GARTH BROOKS, who came in at #2. Last week’s #1, NINE INCH NAILS’ The Fragile, dropped to #19 on sales of 89,000 records.

I still don’t know anybody who has a Creed record.

DAVID LEE ROTH is adding three more weeks of tour dates, from October 25 through November 12, in southern states including Arkansas, Mississippi, Oklahoma and Texas. He and his band will get back to work on a new record after that.

The reports of Dave having Ted Templeman work on his new CD have not been confirmed by Ted.  Remember a while back, Dave was also talking about having Billy Sheehan back in his band.  Dave seems to talk about stuff before it happens.

ENUFF Z’NUFF, HOLLAND, LUNGBRUSH, KILL HANNAH, NO REMORSE, DAVE ULRICH, VIVA VOCE and THE GRUV will perform at a benefit for Turkish earthquake victims at the House of Blues in Chicago, Illinois on October 12 at 7 PM. Enuff Z’Nuff has prior dates in Lemont, Illinois on October 8 and 9, and subsequent ones in Detroit Michigan on October 14, and in Ohio, Geneva on Lake on October 15, Lorain on October 16, and Akron on the 17th.

I feel sorry for the people in Turkey.  No, not because of the Earthquake, but because if they are relying on Enuff Z Nuff for money, they’ll starve!  Enuff Z Nuff hardly has enuff money for themselves.  None of those guys have day jobs, and you know Enuff Z Nuff ain’t bringing in the cash.  I think we should throw a food drive for Enuff Z Nuff.   

YNGWIE MALMSTEEN is getting ready to hit the road to promote new album Alchemy,which won’t be out till early next year. The tour begins on October 31 in Winter Park, Florida and ends on November 10 in Santa Ana, California. Malmsteen plans to go to Australia and Japan in November, Southeast Asia in December, and South and Central America in early 2000, with a European trek to follow in February or March. He’ll return for a larger-scale U.S. tour in the spring. At that time, re-releases of Malmsteen’s Magnum Opus, The Seventh Sign , Inspiration, and Facing the Animal will hit stores, and reissues of Concerto for Electric Guitar and Orchestra, a VHS/DVD documentary, and a greatest hits record will follow later in the year.

He’s no Stuart Smith.  I’d like to see Yngwie kick ass in the Rainbow bathroom.  Yngwie needs his ass kicked in the Rainbow bathroom.

COAL CHAMBER bassist RAYNA FOSS ROSE and SEVENDUST drummer MORGAN ROSE are the parents of a baby daughter, KAYLA MORRAY ROSE, born in Atlanta, Georgia on Monday, October 4. The baby, whose middle name is the combination of her parents’, weighed 9 lbs., 10.5 oz. at birth. Coal Chamber has been touring with NADJA PUELEN filling in for Foss, and will head back out on the road on Saturday, October 9 in Las Vegas, Nevada on a leg that runs through November 10 in Portland, Oregon.

Thanks for giving us the weight of the baby Gerri.  That’s why you are one of American’s Most Respected Journalists.  You really dig for the facts!  If I were a fisherman, I’d mount that sucker!  That sounds like a trophy bass!

While there’s no U.S. release date for MR. BIG’s new album Get Over It, the disc has already sold 175,000 copies in its first two weeks of release in Japan, and the band will tour there in January following a New Year’s eve show in Osaka on a millennial concert bill between AEROSMITH and BUCKCHERRY. No U.S. tour plans either, but there will be a Los Angeles gig in early December at a venue to be announced.

It seems anybody can sell records in Japan.  

Guitarist MICK SWEDA invites fans to check out some of the music he’s written before, during and since his days in KING KOBRA and BULLETBOYS at the Web site of his new label, Monsters Making Music, www.monstersmakingmusi.com. He’s also accepting submissions from artists making “edgy music” at P.O. Box 3612, Hollywood, CA 90078-3612.

Look for an interview with Mick Sweda soon.

Here’s an update on Sebastian Bach from his website.

i HAVE BEEN BUSY putting together a piece for the VH1 show “BEFORE THEY WERE ROCK STARS ” . I have hauled out all the old KID WIKKID , VO5 ,MADAM X, & EARLY SKID ROW scrapbooks & videos, as well as pictures & videos from my childhood that absolutely no-one has ever seen before ! I have been saving all this footage for years for something like this & I really can’t wait for all of you to check out this stuff , some of which goes back around 30 years to when I was 1-2 years old in the Bahamas .The piece also includes a brand new interview conducted on 10/8/99 . The “BEFORE THEY WERE BACH STARS ” episode will air on VH1 in the last week of October or first week of November !

I think a better title for this show would be “AFTER THEY WERE ROCK STARS”, because then they could show Sebastian working at Burger King or whatever the hell he is doing now.

Here’s an update on former Wildheart singer and 20 Question victim Ginger and his solo album.  This is from Ginger’s site.

“We’ve just finished the solo on the track Divine Imperfection,” says Ginger, “which has a definite AC/DC groove to it, and the solo is not entirely dissimilar to Angus. Even people who don’t like AC/DC – are there such folk? – will be bangin’ their box to this one. Then we went on to do some glamtastic Seventies-style guitar on a song called
Girls Are Better Than Boys – a track that will have you laughing your face clean, and could well reintroduce that awful Quo dance to our clubs. We can only wish!”

“Seriously, this shit is flying. I’m as chuffed as the proverbial bastard. The guitars are ripping, the drums defy logic and the bass is inventing new melodies. We’ve got another Cardiac on board next week to put some sultry organs in the blender. There’s gospel-laden lushness, rip snortin’ rock monsters, and even a couple of lighter aloft-type ballads. All washed down with a healthy dose of computer wizardry.

I hope it’s better than that Clam Abuse thing he put out!  What the fuck was that about?

Here’s some news on the Bloodhound Gang.  Lupus from the BHG was the first person who did 20 Questions with us, so we feel we should update you as to their happenings.  It’s kind of long, so if you don’t want to read it, skip it and scroll down to the shit about Jizzy Pearl and L.A. Guns.  

The BHG were suppose to have a CD come out called “Hooray For Boobies”, but that got fucked up.  Here’s why.

Dear loyal Bloodhound fans,

As of midnight September 26th (Europe) and September 27th (US) most of you knew that the Bloodhound Gang’s new release, “Hooray For Boobies,” was not coming. Many of you caught wind of it even earlier. And all of you asked about it. You asked in e-mails, letters, and posts in our Hatebook. I’ve read every last question and answered none. Why the silence from me, the guy who is responsible for keeping you all informed? Because I was forced to do it. It’s a legal matter. One of the things that sucks about having to deal with copyrights and all those fun things. Talking about it, could have gotten us in more trouble. So I sat and silently read everything and said nothing. It wasn’t fun for me, believe me. No one looks out for you guys like I do. For the past few weeks I have said every day to everyone involved, “but what can I tell all of our internet fans?” And I have been told the same thing…”nothing right now.” Well, finally I convinced them (by showing them thousands of e-mails and Hatebook posts) that I had to tell you something. So we worked it out.

So here’s the scoop. No the records weren’t destroyed in the recent hurricane (although that was my favorite guess). No we’re not playing games and thinking this is funny. We want this record out. I think it’s our best yet. And judging from the response from a lot of you who have heard parts of it, I think you’ll be loving it as well. Yes it has taken a long time, we agree. We had hoped to have it finished awhile ago, but hey, that’s just the way life works. So we finally had it all ready to go and shipped it off to Interscope. We were finished with the record. We set a release date. And then the release date came…without the album. Why you ask? Well I can’t really get into the details too much, but it boils down to this; if we release the record as is, we will be sued by Pink Floyd. So the record has been set back while Interscope manufactures the record without the song “Right Turn Clyde.” Sucks huh? We sure wish it hadn’t happened this way.

So when is the record coming? Well all over the world it will be released October 4th, except in America. Why not America? Well, in America, we had already begun the manufacturing process, so things are a bit more complicated…so we’re waiting on a release date.  An interesting side note however for all you collectors out there…the European version of the album will still contain all the original artwork with the name of the song “Right Turn Clyde” on it, but will have a sticker indicating that it is not on the record. Should be an interesting thing to see.

So there’s the story. Sorry it took so long for me to announce. You know I hated it as much as you guys did. If you want write to Interscope and tell them you’re disappointed. Don’t be a dick about it, just let them know that the Bloodhound Gang has a legion of dedicated fans out there that need this new album. That’s all I have to say I guess. See you on tour…

We now have the info for American fans to order the record online before the release date is even announced! On October 4th the album will be released around the world and you can get your hands on a copy through CDZone UK. This CD will be a collector’s item, because it will have all the original artwork for the lyrics…so you can see the lyrics to the song that Pink Floyd forced us to ban!. So get your hands on a copy now, before they’re all gone.

Lupus

Bastard Boy Floyd got his hands on the US copy of this album with the banned song, and will be reviewing it soon.  I heard it’s going for big bucks on Ebay, so if BBF was smart, he’d make a CD-R of it for himself and sell the original on Ebay.  He could buy a whole trailer park for the money he would get.  But he’s not smart, he’s stupid.  So he’ll keep it like a stupid ass and brag to people that he has it.  Anyways, a review will be up soon.

The next bit is from SFK’s Detrius.  It’s part of a review of the L.A. Guns show at the Key Club recently.  We thought this part was funny.

What was best about the evening was seeing the shit-eating grin on guitarist Tracii Guns’ face. I’ve seen him join Gilby Clarke (who, by the way, was in charge of the sound recording at the Key Club, as L.A. Guns taped the show for an upcoming live album) onstage around 10 times this year, but he was clearly happiest when he was in his element, with Phil Lewis to his right. I spoke with him after the show–he was readying himself for a gig in Vegas the next night–and it was clear that he’s glad L.A. Guns is back as it’s meant to be.
Due to an illness, fans were spared from having to suffer through C.C. DeVille’s Stepmothers, who were scheduled to go on before L.A. Guns. Instead, the crowd was first treated to a set by L.A. teen-rockers Beyond Control, as well as a set from Pretty Boy Floyd, whose style- over-substance image reminded everyone why the genre went to hell in the first place. The evening’s funniest moments–other than seeing eternal pussy Riki Rachtman crawl out from the gutter–came from watching Metal Edge relic Gerri Miller shaking her old, haggard ass along with L.A. Guns’ set.

Ha!!  That’s great, Gerri got ripped on again.  That’s why she’s America’s Most Respected Journalists!  You can tell how much respect she gets, and she deserves every bit of it.  That almost sounds like a Metal Sludge review.

In a Sludge Wire a month or so ago, it was mentioned that Jizzy Pearl auditioned for a big 80s band.  He finally said what band it was on his message board.

“it was Skid Row—I went to Jersey and jammed with the Three Dudes and their Ozone Drummer—are they getting back together? I don’t know. all I can tell you is that I spent a few days jamming with them and it was fun…”

NOTE TO JIZZY:  We’ve told you this before, don’t join any bands that have fired their singers before!  What’s next, Van Halen?  Haven’t you learned?  Besides, you can only join bands that are down with Metal Sludge.  Rachel and company haven’t done 20 Questions with us, nor has their previous singer, so you can’t play with them.  Your grounded from playing with them.  You can only play with Metal Sludge approved bands.  For example, you could sing for King Kobra, cause we interviewed David Michael-Philips!  But not Skid Row.  If you want to sing for them, get Rachel or Snake to email us.  But you know it’s only a matter of time before they reunite with Sebastian and talk about how they’ve matured and it’s much more fun this time around.  Blah blah blah.  We are only looking out for you.  That’s why we are here.  Oh yea, where’s our book???

Jani Bon Neil, OZZY STILLBOURNE, & Donna Anderson
Midgets make up a small percentage of the population.

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