CLASSIC SLUDGE
No Gimmick Needed Sludge Wire October 20th 1999
Wow…what in the world were we thinking?
The internet was in an infant stage and Metal Sludge was just starting out too. But during that first calendar year from September 1998 through late 1999 we uploaded several dozen Sludge Wire columns.
As we continue to celebrate Twenty Years (1998-2018) of Metal Sludge, we give you these crazy-ass Sludge Wires from wayback.
In a nutshell we would take various bits off the “news wire” from websites, press releases, pulications and print it – then add our ‘edgy’ comments.
If you’re REALLY politically correct, we suggest you DO NOT read these, these are not for the faint of heart.
Disclaimer: The comments made, the views of the (then) writers, the news items themselves and all the related content is NOT current and does not reflect the thoughts, or opinions of anyone at Metal Sludge.
These columns were published in 1998 and 1999.
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NO GIMMICK NEEDED SLUDGE WIRE
10/20/99
At Metal Sludge, we’re keeping it real. Real lazy. No catchy titles or shit like that. Not even the SludgeWire banner. It’s just like what former arena bands say when they go back to playing clubs, we’re going back to our roots. Here’s the news, our stupid comments, and that’s it.
Taime “Sex” Slaughter comments are in purple
Jani Bon Neil comments are in red.
From Hard Radio.
Sources close to the band say that PANTERA’s forthcoming CD is “both more brutal and more stream-lined” than anything the band has done so far. No release date has been set as yet, with further mixing and post-production yet to be done, but it is confirmed that the band will be going out on tour with METALLICA to promote the CD.
Pantera has always been way heavier than Metallica. I wonder if Pantera is aware of Metallica’s new found interest is in playing with orchestras and hanging out with old uptight cello players.
GUNS N’ ROSES forthcoming double live album will be called Live Era ’87 – ’93 and will feature the following tracks: CD1 – ‘Nightrain’, ‘Mr Brownstone’, ‘It’s So Easy’, ‘Welcome To The Jungle’, ‘Dust N’ Bones’, ‘My Michelle’, ‘You’re Crazy’, ‘Used To Love Her’, ‘Patience’, ‘It’s Alright’ and ‘November Rain’. CD2 ‘Out To Get Me’, ‘Pretty Tied Up’, ‘Yesterdays’, ‘Move To The City’, ‘You Could Be Mine’, ‘Rocket Queen’, ‘Sweet Child O’Mine’, ‘Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door’, ‘Don’t Cry’, ‘Estranged’ and ‘Paradise City’. The album was mixed by Andy Wallace. Watch for the album through Geffen on November 22.
Unlike Axl’s behavior, that track listing was fairly predictable.
METALLICA drummer Lars Ulrich had this to say to Jaan Uhelszki at Rolling Stone Online about the next century. “I think we’re going to skip a year. When we’re done with our two weeks of millennium dates on January 9, we are going to chill the f**k out for awhile. And we’re probably going to take our first extended break since 1994. We’re doing these dates with KID ROCK, which will be a lot of fun. I couldn’t think of a better way to end the five-year run that we’ve been through. James (Hetfield) and I were just talking about it recently, that we’ll be able to sit down for the first time in six years and have a situation where we don’t have any dates in front of us. There’s nothing. When he feels like it, or I feel like working, we’ll give each other a call and get on with it. But there will be no date. It is a luxury, but we’ve worked our asses off for the past six to seven years, and it’s really time to just chill out. Not just for us, but I think everybody could use a break from Metallica for a year.”
No shit we need a break from Metallica. Oh yeah, hey Lars, good to see you jumping on the Ol’ Kid Rock band wagon. How do his nuts taste?
Although cloaked under a veil of secrecy, DREAM THEATER briefly described their forthcoming 12-track album, Scenes From A Memory, due out on October 26th as “in the tradition of The Wall, Tommy and Operation Mindcrime,… a real concept album”…
The biggest concept for them will be to get people to buy it. “Cloaked under a veil of secrecy”, what’s the secret? And who the fuck cares?
ex-POISON guitarist C.C. DeVille and his new band THE STEPMOTHERS have just signed to Portrait Records. No word yet as to when the group will release their album, which will be produced by DAMN YANKEES/NIGHT RANGER bassist-singer Jack Blades. As for Poison, that band is currently on hiatus following a summer tour. Poison drummer Rikki Rockett recently posted that the group plans to work together in the future, but only after DeVille and singer Bret Michaels “mend a few minor, but possible major, details on how to work together”…
What a surprise, Bret & C.C. fighting? No, how can that be. Hey Bastard Boy Floyd, go look back a few months and lets see what our Poison re-union predictions were. As usual, we prediction this and told you all about it a few months back.
Tommy Lee’s METHODS OF MAYHEM project will now be out on December 9. The album is self-titled and it’s confirmed that the former Crue drummer will be touring with VANILLA ICE (!?) next year! In related news, net sources say that on New Year’s Eve in Malibu, California, Tommy and Pamela plan to wed, once again – this time in the buff!…
Fuck T-boner and his dumb “please hit me again Tommy” wife. Getting remarried 3 or 4 times in the same amount of years. And probably separated the same (again) by mid 2000!
In KISS news from http://www.kissonline.com/news/, the Detroit Rock City DVD is due in December and it’ll feature extra scenes, interviews, EVERCLEAR and THE DONNAS videos, and the full performance of the title track, with alternate camera angles like METALLICA’s Cunning Stunts…
KISS suck more balls than a gay bottom at a bath house in West Hollywood.
Watch for a VAN HALEN tribute/remix album similar to the recently issued GUNS N’ ROSES Appetite For Reconstruction CD. The 14-track Hot For Remixes CD focuses on the David Lee Roth era and features covers “remixed by choice DJs, industrial and goth acts of the ’90s.” Tracks include ‘Unchained’ (Jack Russell/Dweezil Zappa, KMFDM remix), ‘Running With The Devil’ (Stephen Pearcy/Bob Kulick, Sigue Sigue Sputnik remix), and ‘Dance The Night Away’ (BANG TANGO, Pigface remix)…
How about a tribute to Limp Bizkit or Kid Rock since everyone is sucking their ball hairs.
From SFK Detrius.
-Ted Poley has signed a deal with Now & Then Productions/Frontiers Records. His solo album will be produced by Eyewitness/Millenium guitarist Ralph Santolla for an early 2000 release, and early label hype says, “Musically the album will combine elements of classic Danger Danger, Y&T, Rick Springfield and Giant.” Poley will have Teer (whose debut will also be worked on by Santolla) as his backing band when he plays at The Gods 99 festival in Wigan, England, on November 20. Other upcoming Now & Then Productions/Frontiers Records release information: Hugo’s TIME ON EARTH and Norway’s tentatively-titled ARRIVAL will be out in early 2000, and Lost Weekend’s second album will be recorded in December.
Ted Poley did an interview with us and seems to be pretty cool. I guess he deserves another shot. Fuck, Warrant & Slaughter have been signed to 3 or 4 different labels in the same amount of years, why not Ted too!
The http://melodicrock.com site reported Ratt’s recent s/t has sold 40,000 copies so far.
Hey Lita, let’s confirm these Ratt numbers. Sounds kinda fishy? Hmmmm. Hi Lita, it’s Taime get your system up. Yeah, I need the Sludge Scan on Ratt’s new piece of shit! Ok, your computers a tad slow. That’s ok its just Sludgeaholics waiting…What you got it? Ok, what’s the exact number sold to date? 37,283 pieces as of October 20th at 10:47 AM. Busted you guys, its not over forty yet! What are the exact numbers for the last four weeks? Ok, 748 this last week, 799, 937 and 1164 a month ago. So hey melodicrock.com call us in another 3 or 4 weeks and then we’ll say Ratt has sold over forty thousand. Thank you for bullshitting us again. How come nobody quotes us?? We’re the fucking ones with the Sound Scan numbers! No other website provides you people with that shit, but Melodicrock.com gives out one incorrect tally, and they get a plug. We get less respect than Rodney Dangerfield.
From Metal Edge and Gerri Miller.
Remember The $100,000 Pyramid? VH1, which now runs a rock version of Jeopardy, plans to recreate the game show as Rock & Roll Pyramid, with music categories and celeb-and-civilian teams. MTV, meanwhile, is about to launch Web Riot, a game show in which contestants answer trivia questions about videos. It premieres November 29.
Gerri’s old enough to remember when 2 white guys boxed, so I’m sure she can remember a lot more than any of us. And why is a game show about videos called Web Riot? That sounds like something to do with the internet. I’m glad to see MTV has it’s priorities straight. No reason to get in the habit of actually showing videos when you can show stupid shit like Daria and game shows.
ROB ZOMBIE was on hand, very briefly, to accept an Eyegore Award for Achievement in Horror on Friday night, October 15, at a ceremony launching Halloween Horror Nights III at Universal Studios Hollywood, where Zombie’s Thrilling Chilling World horror maze is one of the attractions. “I hope you scream, I hope you vomit,” Zombie said of the his creation in his short thank-you speech. I didn’t do any of the latter (thankfully, didn’t see anyone doing it, either), but there were plenty of screams coming from me, other visitors, and the assorted ghouls who are part of the show at the maze, which transforms a soundstage into an appropriately creepy milieu. Horror Nights runs five more times: October 22, 23, 29, 30, 31. Visit www.Halloween99.com for more info.
Hey Gerri, did it ever occur to you that the people might be screaming because they saw you? By the way, what will you be dressing up as for Halloween, a woman? That would be cool.
The three week tour extension DAVID LEE ROTH booked has turned into nine–Roth and his band will now be on the road until right before Christmas, which means there won’t be any studio recording till next year. Songwriting, however, is underway.
Speaking of guys who are balding, how’s the bald spot Gerri?
Want to sing with NINE INCH NAILS? If you’re female and want the chance to tour with TRENT REZNOR & Co., send a demo tape to P.O. Box 161095, Cleveland, Ohio 44116. Bands who are interested in getting material to Reznor can do so via the same box number.
You can also send your shit to Metal Sludge P.O. Box 2884, Rancho Cucamonga, CA. 91729
DREAM THEATER will celebrate the October 26 release of Scenes From a Memory via an in-store appearance and meet-and-greet at Musicland in Garden City, New York. All members will attend the 6-8 PM event except guitarit JOHN PETRUCCI, who has a schedule conflict (he’ll be in Italy giving a guitar clinic). Afterward, the band will participate in an online chat at http://chat.yahoo.com
Note to self: Avoid Garden City, New York on October 26th.
STEVE VAI is looking for a few good guitarists. At several stops on Vai’s tour, players are invited to drop off a demo tape to a specified store (mostly Guitar Centers) or radio station. Three finalists will be chosen and the day of the show, Vai will pick a winner who will get the chance to jam with him on stage. Guitar Center is also offering a custom Ibanez “Ultra Zone” Jem guitar featuring the album artwork, a Yamaha BBN5 5 string bass and DG-80 amp, and a Yamaha BBN4F bass as grand, second, and third prizes. So far, the contest dates are in St. Louis, Missouri on October 31, Minneapolis, Minnesota on November 3, Madison, Wisconsin on November 4, Chicago, Illinois on November 9, Cincinnati, Ohio on November 10, Cleveland, Ohio on November 12, and Detroit, Michigan on November 14. Vai’s Ultra Zone tour kicks off on October 24 in Boulder, Colorado, with ERIC SARDINAS opening except from November 16-20, when MICHAEL HARTMAN will support.
We at Metal Sludge will be holding some auditions of our own. Girls please send all nude photos, videos, cash, gifts, etc.. to Taime & Jani c/o Metal Sludge P.O. Box 2664, Rancho Cumcamonga, CA., 91729
Now audible on “Oh My God” from the forthcoming End of Days soundtrack, GUNS N’ ROSES gets the double live treatment on November 22, when Live Era ’87-’93 will be released.
BFD……..That stands for Big Fucking Deal for those of you who are mental midgets.
ERIC SINGER and BRUCE KULICK will be on hand at the Dallas KISS Expo this Saturday, October 17 at the Bronco Bowl. The ex-KISS members will participate in a Q&A session and perform with ESP cohorts JOHN CORABI and KARL COCHRAN.
A signing/photo session will take place after the performance. ANDRE AUGUSTINE, the former KISS security director, will be signing copies of his book Guardian of the Gods and chatting with fans, and the tribute band SSIK, featuring DANGEROUS TOYS frontman JASON McMASTER, will perform. Tickets are available via Star Tickets at 888-597-7827 and at local Albertsons for $20.00 each (kids 12 and under are admitted free). Each paying attendee will receive a free CD containing tracks from Kulick, ESP, and ERIC CARR.
A Q & A for Kulick, Singer, Corabi and Cochran? I hope Crabby handles most of the questions, cause at least he appears to have some sort of personality. As for the other 3, the only question I can think of asking them is, “Who are you?”
At a teslaweb.com chat, SOUL MOTOR’s BRIAN WHEAT, formerly TESLA’s bassist, addressed the band’s breakup and the possibilities of a reunion. “Sometimes things happen the way they happen and you don’t know why. It ended quickly for myself as well. I wasn’t ready to leave the band but there will be a Tesla reunion one day,” he said, “When it feels right.” Wheat noted that while it doesn’t upset him that fans still ask about Tesla and want the band to reunite, “What bothers me [is] to hear people say to stop doing what I am doing now. If you are a true Tesla fan, you’ll support anything we do individually or together.”
Tesla Fact: The bass player (Brian Wheat) was about as important to Tesla as Eric Singer was to KISS.
If you’re going to be in Las Vegas for New Year’s or need an excuse to go there, WARRANT, SLAUGHTER, SOFAKING (featuring JEFF KEITH and TOMMY SKEOCH of TESLA), and PRETTY BOY FLOYD will usher in 2000 at Pink E.’s Warrant, now finishing up a tour (they’re in Anaheim, California on Sunday with UNION supporting), will start working on new songs on November 8 and remain in the studio through December.
NOTE TO SELF: Cancel trip to Vegas for New Years. Immediately!
It might be the year 2000, but there sure as hell won’t be 2000 people there. Take off a zero or two and you might have the right figure. If you think about it, if Slaughter, Warrant, and Pretty Boy Floyd all toured together, it could be called “The Reason Why Metal Sludge Exists” Tour. I predict a huge fight between Warrant & Slaughter about who’s on stage at Midnight. Someone is gonna be crying guaranteed. Either Dana or Jani. Maybe they should become one cross gender stripper, like Dana Jane or Jani Dane. Right. It’s Slaughter’s hometown, so they’ll want to be on stage, but Warrant is headlining. I say take them both, but them in a road case, shine it up all pretty, turn that son of a bitch sideways and shove it directly up Steve Summer’s ass, cause God knows his ass could probably hold a road case!
SEVENDUST, now taking a break from touring, will convene at Atlanta’s Southern Tracks studios with producer SYLVIA MASSEY this week to record a song targeted for OLIVER STONE’s new football movie On Any Given Sunday. The song was written for the flick, which is due out Christmas Day, but its inclusion is not definite. The soundtrack will be out January 4. Sevendust retuns to the road October 26 through November 7.
Metal Sludge Fact: The singer from Sevendust is an African American. Taime has a keen eye for the obvious.
Taime “Sex” Slaughter & Jani Bon Neil
No Frills
