20 Questions with Stefan Adika, 2/27/99

This interview has been up for a day or so and we forgot to introduce this fucking thing! Oops. Ok then, this interview is with L.A. Guns bass player Stefan Adika. At least he’s the bass player as of 2/28/99, 10:00 p.m. Fuck, they change members like every other week, so check your score cards to see if he’s still in the band this week. He also does some shit with a band called Dad’s Porno Magazine, and was in Gilby Clarke’s band. Stefan talks a lot of smack, so were down with that. Here’s his biggest accomplishment to date, the Metal Sludge 20 Questions! Stefan, it ain’t gonna get any bigger than this!

1. Who are you?

Stefan: I’m Stefan and I’m a Cancer and I’m from Brooklyn.

2. And we would probably know you from?.?

Stefan: Actually, you wouldn’t know me. But I think the readers might want to know who writes this shit. Who the fuck are you?! Did you have a bad deal from the 80’s that went sour, so now you’re writing on the Internet?

3. Have you ever been on a tour bus that was actually moving and not idle?

Stefan: Only time a tour bus is moving with me around is when I’m pushing it.

4. Has anybody ever asked for your autograph?

Stefan: Yeah, but they thought I was Duff McKagan.

5. Do you think O.J. is guilty?

Stefan: He’s just a crazy schwarzer living his life.

6. Does Tracii Guns allow to you speak to him directly, or do you have to talk to a roadie first?

Stefan: What roadie? Tracii can’t afford the roadies.

7. How many times a day do you laugh at Johnny Crypt for leaving L.A. Guns when there was never going to be a reunion tour in the first place?

Stefan: Give poor Johnny a break. There’s not enough time in a day to laugh at that poor guy. He’ll be eating his cottage cheese reading this, so lemme be nice. He did give me a job.

8. If you had to pick one 80s band, which one would you not want to play with and why?

Stefan: Definitely, definitely Bang Tango. It’s hard to write with a singer whose voice sounds like they’re scratching their fingernails on the chalk board. But you gotta give him credit on one thing: He did fool the public!

9. Do you realize Tracii wears a wig?

Stefan: That’s alright with me. Maybe he’ll be lending it to me, ’cause I ain’t dying my hair black.

10. Have you ever had sexual thoughts about Gilby Clarke?s wife?

Stefan: Every time I take a shower. Why do you think I still play with Gilby?

Gilby & Stefan enjoying each others company

11. Have you ever had sexual thoughts about Gilby Clarke?

Stefan: See answer to question #10.

12. If you could be a tampon for any celebrity, who would you choose?

Stefan: Gerri Miller. She is a celebrity, isn’t she?

13. Have you ever played on a CD before? If so, do you have proof to back up your claims?

Stefan: I never got that far in the game. I was learning how to play in the 80’s.

14. When do you expect Jizzy to quit the band, thus forcing L.A. Guns to get it?s 20th singer in the last 10 years?

Stefan: Well, he is planning to go to Paris, write his book and never leave his tub again. Let’s give Jizzy till July 3rd.

15. Who’s the worst player in the business?

Stefan: Besides me, Kelly Nickels and Joe Tango, why don’t you catch and a Pretty Boy Floyd show and tell me what you think?

17. What is the worst thing you’ve heard about Dana Strum?

Stefan: I never heard nothing about him. This is the first time I’ve heard his name in my whole life. Who the fuck is Dana Strum? What the hell has he done?! If you do know how to get in touch with him, I might need a tech for the L.A. Guns tour. Can he tune a bass?

18. A farmer has 17 sheep standing in a field and all but 9 drop down and die. How many sheep are left standing?

Stefan: I don’t have a calculator right now.METAL SLUDGE SAYS: Well Stefan, you didn’t need a calculator. The question said ALL BUT 9 DIE, so that means 9 are left standing.

19. Have you ever touched a penis that wasn?t your own?

Stefan: Yeah, when I was leaning on Tracii’s shoulder for the photo shoot.

20. If you could put any one 80s rock song in a vault labeled ?Songs That Fucking Suck?, which 80s rock song would it be and why?

Stefan: Didn’t they all suck? “Shoot For Thrills” especially, because Kelly wrote that one. I just wanna see the reunion of Sweet Pain. If anybody’s listening, don’t get Kelly back! Get me!!!

Stefan’s closing statements: Thanks for making me important to my mom. Now she thinks I really succeeded in life. I’m finally in Metal Sludge. And I’m very proud of this moment. Let’s take time to talk about my special moment here with your readers. I’m honored and grateful to be here on the day of your daughter’s wedding. And may your first child be a masculine child. So thank you all for reading my little interview. And I do hope you do come to the L.A. Guns show, ’cause I will need a roadie, ’cause we can’t afford one. I will need someone to push the tour bus, because the driver doesn’t come with that. Tracii’ll need someone to help with his wigs. And let’s grieve for one moment. Let’s stand one minute in silence for Johnny Crypt. May he rest in peace with the music business and pursue his career be a computer technology whiz. Rock ‘n’ roll is just too high-pressure for Johnny. Whatever Johnny decides on doing, let’s give him our best wishes. And to Kelly Nickels, wherever you are, poor guy. Gave up bass just to play Playstation. And Ralph, gave a gig up to play David Lee Roth in the life story movie. Phil and Mick, we wish you the best here. Thanks for making me a part of L.A. Guns, and please let the Metal Sludge readers know which one of you wears a wig. Thanks for buying their records and let’s thank Metal Sludge for making me a part of their history. And now when can I get a real gig? Buy the new L.A. Guns record when it comes out. This way they’ll pay me.

For everybody else I didn’t thank, go fuck yourself.

What can we possibly say to top that? Nothing. So if you want to find out more about Stefan, check out the 2 sites linked below.

The Electronic Gypsy

Dad’s Porno Mag Fan Club