Metal Sludge

Metal Sludge

Donna's Ho-Bag For February 5, 2003


 Donna’s Ho-Bag For February 5, 2003

I apologize once again for the lack of Ho-Bags. The reason being is generally I get stupid emails and feel most of them aren’t worth answering. I don’t mean to insult those of you who email me regularly because I’m probably not talking about you. Those that aren’t stupid are just the basic, "Do you know about so and so?" Everything I know is on the page, so if you don’t see it here, try the Ho-Board. If I know about a guy’s dick, it’s on the Penis Chart. I’m not keeping any information to myself here! I like to share everything so don’t think I’m holding back.

I do have a sample of emails I have received over the last few months and here they are.

Happy New Year Donna,

I’m not sure if you’re aware of this yet, but Bowling For Soup has been nominated for a Grammy award in the best pop performance by a group or duo category. Pretty crazy, huh? Also, on the same day they received the nomination, Jaret’s wife Melissa gave birth to their first child, a baby girl named Emma Kay. Just wanted to keep you updated.

Have a great 2003!

Howie Abrams
Jive Records

It’s good to see Bowling For Soup nominated. Nothing against them but I was surprised to hear that they got noimated. See what happens when you do 20 Questions at Metal Sludge!


pakelika from the kottonmouth kings here…….just wanted to say just got computer litterate…..and saw your ho-bag6……just wanted to say thanks and i’m a member and i enjoy the site…………….now………….

pakelika-you know

Thanks for dropping by!

While perusing the posts your Ho-Board, I came across a your pic’s. I’m quite intrigued with you, I have a small request. Would you be so kind as to send me more pic’s of you, and, as I’m trying to be a polite and respectful man, I feel I must ask; would you be so kind a to allow me to look at your pic’s and jack off, while I fantasize about you?
Muff Divin’ Man

I’d almost be flattered, providing those were my real photos. Stupidity is never attractive, so no, you may not jack off to "my" photos. Sorry. Keep it in your pants, tiger.

Though you are more than welcome to jack off to Bastard Boy Floyd!

My name is Cliff Rigano, and I am the singer in the band Dry Kill Logic. I have been a big fan of your site since 2000, and I wanted to let you know that I love the Rewind (just read the Edsel one – you guys ask the best questions), and if you are ever interested in a DKL Rewind, I’d love to do one….anyway, thanks a lot, and keep bustin’ balls!!

Thanks Cliff but to do a Rewind, you first need to do 20 Questions. You haven’t done 20 Questions so don’t be looking for a Rewind anytime soon. Don’t claim to be a big fan if you don’t know that simple information!

HI- I love the site and everything on it. I have a question maybe you can answer. The last time Janine Lindemulder was on Stern she had been with Riki Rachtman for several years. I have never heard about them breaking up. However, on Monday nights episode of Monster Garage they said she is married to Jesse James of West Coast Choppers. I just wondered if you know when this happened. I thought she was still with Riki. Thanks and keep up the great work on the site. It’s the best!!!!!

Yes, it’s true. She married Jesse sometime in March of 2002 after a year long courtship. I would love to hook up with Janine, even though I think she has too many tattoos now. Just thought I would share that.

Any Word On Rock Band SWEET FA Gettin Back & Touring Or Steve Delong Or Any Band Members. If Ya Have Info Please Give Me A HOLLA!
Thanx Donna,

Why Would Sweet FA Get Back Together And Tour When Nobody Wanted To See Them The First Time Around? A Tora Tora World Tour With Tyketto And Flame Is More Likely.

I bet your are really just a fat smelly greasy crusty ass welfare ho who licks anybody’s asshole who can strum a guitar,Who knows who would actually give someone as yourself a website to write on,But of course sitting in your tin trailor in gary or valpairaso or some other little white trash indiana town,you will turn it into a fucked up gossip page to write about all the washed up 80’s hair bands guys dope dicks that went up your green discharge infested raw crusty asshole.I would really like to see a real picture of yourself,mobile estate,and all the ugly smelly children you have from all different fathers,Or I should say brothers,or your sneeky uncle,showing some of that jerry springer midwest methamphetamine pride that gives america that image that other countrys think we are all like.We will now refer to your site as DIRTY D’S DOMAIN,for you are the actual metal sludge.

So what’s your point?

Hello Donna, Metal Greetings to you.

I have a small complaint…just bitchin’ really!

I’ve been onto Metal for about 20 years now, and still going strong.
I’ve been threw the long hair stage, and miss it sometimes, when at the clubs.
Here’s the Bitchin’ part…I look at the "Sludgette of the month" and just wonder why there are no Metal Females like that in the Md area. I’ve always been into "Metal Chicks" (sorry for the slang), but since I cut my hair…it’s hard to pick up a female Rocker. I’ve always had great luck, when I had long hair, but not anymore.
Metal is my life, but I also work for a living, and make a great living too. The Metal scene is my break away from reality form Monday-Friday. There is always Metal in my CD Player to work, at work, and going home from work.
I consider myself a good looking guy, but I’m not looking for a "Buffy". My dream girl is able to wear Leather Pants one night, and an Evening Gown the next.
I just turned 35, and wondering if I should stop hitting on Metal Chicks?

How can a clean-cut guy, hook up with a Metal Chick?

Metal Chick, my definition…"Someone who loves Rock n Roll, and who is Not afraid to admit it. Someone with honesty, with that Sexy devilish in her eyes. Also, appreciates living life, with Judas Priest or Iron Maiden in the CD player"

Am I asking too much?

I hope you have an Exciting Year…

Defending the Metal Faith in Maryland…


You’re a clean cut guy so the girls at work probably have no idea you are a metalhead. Well guess what? There might be metal chicks at your work and you have no idea because they don’t look like "metal chicks." Metal chicks can be anywhere! They don’t walk around in Iron Maiden baby-dolls 24 hours a day. My girlfriends all like rock but during the day you would have no idea. Don’t just limit your searches to just rock bars. Try the supermarket. Try Barnes And Noble. Try any other place you would find girls. If you had no problem when you had long hair, then you should have no problem when you have short hair, in fact, I’d say you probably have even a better chance! Girls like guys that look responsible and have so
mething going on. Go find a chick you’re attracted to and see what happens. You might be surprised!

Hi Donna,

I never considered emailing you regarding this but my friend was terribly hurt (go figure) and I feel like this should be said. Yogi from Buckcherry is a complete player. It’s sad when they have this glow… and you live off their shine…thinking some of it will rub off on you. The end? shit not shine. I would just like to add that despite his 10 inch cock, a disregard to women being human with emotions and brains should be added. Thanks for your time and your website. Truthfully yours,

Most of the guys on my penis chart are players. I’ve heard so many girls go, "Oh, but he really cares" or any number of things like that. And as soon as he gets off the phone with her, he calls up his next girl. If you’re going to hang around band guys, don’t kid yourself and think you are the exception. You’re not.

so when do we get to see some info on the crew dudes? – i, myself am a 27 year veteran of touring and some of your better "cocksmen" are crew – some of us have had better than our bosses . . . . . . .

mad love to you n your page – it’s a blast

How can I give you recognition when you don’t sign your name?

I’m a poor bastard who happens to be the singer-guitarist-songwriter for newly signed to Fastlane records…Mars Needs Women. I was wondering if u would be kind enough to send me a shirt of any style(black is always best-medium) so i can wear it in pics in the new cd and onstage…and basically…it saves me from doing laundry…lol…love your site!

If not…that cool…how about a sticker?

Shawn Mars

Oh, well if you’re signed to Fastlane Records, then we better send you a shirt!
If you want a shirt, you can do what Dave Brownsound did from Sum 41, he ordered one. If he can do it, you can do it. Though I do know your CD is being produced by Butch Walker, so maybe I’ll talk to Jani Bon Neil for you. In the meantime, our Sludgendise Store is open.

My name is Jan and i live in sweden, i?m a big fan of you. You are so beutiful and cool.
So i was wondering if it could be possible to have your autograph?
It would mean so much to me.
Best regards/
Jan Viinikainen

Thanks Jan. I’d love to sign an autograph for you but the closest thing I have to an autograph would be my Metal Sludge Guitar Pick. They do have my signature and that’s the only way to get my autograph, unless I give it to you on a napkin at 2 AM after the bar closes, but that’s another story. Once my picks are gone they are gone forever!

I’ve been rejected by girls so much that I think I might go gay. There’s one thing consistent though when I ‘be myself’ to women who aren’t onto me…they NEVER tell me what I did wrong and what I should do right. I just want a friend of the opposite gender. Is this their way of getting back at men from all the years of oppression? What’s the deal?

From, Gabriel
(That’s really my name too! I’m not just saying that because women dig it. Which is usually the only thing they dig about me)

How the hell would I know? Maybe you’re annoying? Maybe you are a baby? Maybe you don’t shower? I have no idea what to tell you with the information you gave me. Women can smell desperation and maybe you are too desperate. Some people want to find an excuse as to why others don’t find them attraction, when the real reason is they need to look at themselves. There is no all knowing answer. Just try to improve yourself and be as good a person as you can be and see where that takes you.

Hey Donna,

Love your site – the penis chart is fucking hilarious. WARNING: this is probably what some would consider a boring e-mail because I am not into having sex with rockers – I just like to meet them and hang out (no, I am not a lesbian). Anyway, I saw Warrant in Detroit on 12/21/02 and hung out with them (Jani, Eric, and Jerry) backstage after the show. This was my first time meeting those guys and I didn’t really know what to expect, especially since I wasn’t prepared to put out. I walked into the room alone and it was just Jerry and three other girls all sitting around on the couch, Jani
standing in the middle of the room talking to some dude, and Eric kinda walking in and out playing host. When they saw me they just said, "Hey, how are you doing? Have a seat," and asked me if I wanted something to eat or drink. So I grabbed a beer out of the ice bucket and sat on the couch. After a while, Jani came over and sat on the couch beside me, but was pretty quiet. He said he has bronchitis and was really tired and couldn’t wait to get home. He sat with his head rested back and looked exhausted (NOT drug or alcohol induced – in fact, believe it or not, they were all drinking water!) Since this was the last show of the tour, I can understand why he felt that way. But I did have a bit of friendly dialogue with him and he was happy to autograph my CD for me and didn’t even try to hit on me at all (and it ain’t
cuz I am lacking in the looks department, trust me)! Maybe since I wasn’t dressed like a slut he knew I wasn’t into that. Or maybe he just wasn’t in the mood to get laid. Who knows? Anyway, I was pretty impressed with their attitudes and behavior and just wanted to write something positive about Warrant after hearing all of the negative stories going around, especially about Jani. They were perfect gentlemen and very down to earth, and I’d hang with them again in a heartbeat!

Keep up the cool site and Happy Holidays!

It’s always good to hear a positive band story. Those guys can be cool when they want to be.

1-Any news on the band Full devil Jacket? Did they break up? New Album?

2-When I saw Fater Pussycat last summer they played some new tunes, in their neo-nazi nurse cross dresser outfits. Anything new going to be released by them?



I think some of you are too fucking lazy. Try going to Full Devil Jacket’s website and seeing what they have on their page. Most bands have websites that are there to give you information. In other words, do your own research.

Hi Donna,
I come to metal sludge on a regular basis and every time I go to your section, my husband asks who you are. He thinks you’re beautiful. Were you ever an actress or a model? Or maybe you could tell me where I could find another picture of you so my husband will leave me alone when I’m trying to read your section of the site!
Thanks for your help!

I think I’ve said this a few 1,000,000 times before, BUT EVERYBODY AT METAL SLUDGE IS FUCKING ANONYMOUS!!!! YOU HAVE NO



However, if you’d like me to come to your house and fuck your husband, that can be arranged for a nominal fee.

Dear Donna,

First of all, I hate those stupid notes from dirty old tossers asking if you’d bone them. Fuck that, the only thing I have to say that you are gorgeuos and seem to know EVERYTHING about sex.

So I’d like to ask you a thing. I’m 21, have slept with 4 different girls. All of them weren’t really experienced so I can’t say that I have learned that much. What I’m really wanting to know is: what would someone like you think of my penis! It’s nearly 7 inches and has good girth. And I am circumsisd!

So what is your opinion, oh Queen of Metal Sludge?

Emphatically yours – Bojan

7 inches and thick sounds like a good time! You sound blessed Bojan. You have nothing to worry about!

Hi Donna,

First off, congrats on such a fucking cool site. Anyway, I was wondering if you knew anything about Pete Loran formerly of Trixter. These guys, from what I have heard, were pretty big sluts back in their heyday and I want to know the 411 on Pete. Is he hitched, still straight, good in the sack, etc.?



Pete had a girlfriend back in the day named Kim, if my memory serves me correctly, though he still got around. I believe in now lives in Phoenix and he has a son, but isn’t married to my knowledge.

Hey Donna,
This is Jessica, the fifth girl in Spin magazine article. I just wanted to tell ya that I am a loyal reader of the site and writer on the Ho forumn (I’m The RX Queen on there). Alas, I’ve never got to send in pictures because I am scanner/webcamless. But now you can officially say that all five girls in the article are dedicated Sludge Fans. You know you’ve got lockdown on the groupie scene when 100 percent of the Spin groupies are sludgefreaks, huh?

ps – As far as your peepee chart goes, everyone on my hitlist that’s on there is correct. I like the Meegs ones, that’s pretty accurate baha.


Awesome! When you get a scanner, send in some pictures and maybe you can be a Sludgette too!

Hey Donna I have some Disturbing news for Disturbed fans.Fuzz is now engaged.Can you believe that? He has flown his new fiance to and from Boston. She lives there and said he recently popped the question but have not set a date. we are going to miss her dearly at the salon in Boston but she’ll be living it up in Chicago at his house while they are on the road with Korn. She told me that this is a dream come true and wants kids asap.

Too bad I’ve never heard a single positive thing about Fuzz. Hope his new chick realizes how much fun Fuzz will be having out on the road.

HI! I was wondering if you know what happened to groupie central? There are a lot of rumors going around about the reson that it got shut down and it would really be great if you could find out what the real story is. Your cloumn is definiteli interesting! Thank you , Lisa

I have no idea what happened to Groupie Central and I didn’t even know they were gone since I never went there. Their message board was more censored than a communist country and I thought the entire page was overrated anyway. Regardless, Donna’s Domain was here first and I’m still here and not going anywhere!

Dear Donna,what is you ideal length and thickness in a cock?

I don’t have an exact measurement in mind. Too big can be painful and too small can be lame. I think girth is more important than length, at least to me.

P.S. Learn to use your tongue really well just in case you do have a pencil dick.

Lustfully Yours,




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