Metal Sludge’s Top 12 Rock Stars Who Look Homeless!
Top 12 — In another incredible installment of our always loved Top Lists we bring you the dirtiest, filthiest list we could come up with.
This list will detail the top rock stars who look like they are afraid of soap and razors, don’t like combs or shampoo – simply put – they look downright homeless.
We’re not sure when this look became all the rage, but it seems in recent years the weird beards and dread locks are as popular as bleach and hair extensions were in 1989.
Who is filthy and who looks like a train wreck?
Take a look below and let’s get started.
#12 Don Dokken the voice of Dokken
Don once said Dokken rhymes with rockin’. But anyone who graduated elementary school or read Dr. Seuss had already figured that out.
These days there isn’t that much rocking going on with Dokken. And in recent youtube videos and photos, at times Don looks pretty rough.
In a nutshell, he looks homeless.
It appears he has given up on razors along with the nu-metal stars of today. And not that Don is new, because he’s not. Being born in the early 50’s that puts the dream warrior right in the ballpark for retirement.
Don has battled with age as well as his voice. The soaring notes he once hit in power ballads like “Alone Again” and heavy metal anthems like “Breakin’ the Chains” are as much a memory as the original flowing follicles that once graced his rockin’ skull.
By the looks of his grey beard, the large over coats and Santa-esque belly, maybe it’s time to hang up the ole’ bullet belt for good.
Don Dokken clocks in at #12 in our Top Rockers who look homeless.
#11 Chris Kael – 5 Finger Death Punch
What can you say about that beard but – WTF!
Chris Kael joined 5FDP in 2011 and replaced Matt Snell who also had a wacky rack of facial hair, but nothing like Kael has.
Take away that bass and give him a shopping cart full of dirty clothes and some recyclables and Kael is ready to be homeless.
Who would think this guy actually tours in a multi-platinum rock band.
Well, to be fair, chances are a bunch of you might think that. In 2014 it’s a pretty stock look that half the musicians in >insert nu-metal band name here< have something similar on their faces.
Chris Kael is #11 on our Rock Stars who look homeless list.
#10 Joey Jordison Ex Slipknot
This once rail thin rock star has added a bunch of pounds. It looks like he’s packed on nearly double his body weight, and it shows at only 5’2″. Joey Jordison has also added the new and super trendy Osama bin Laden beard. This combo of large gut and facial hair makes for a perfect homeless look.
Joey is best known for his time spent as the world class drummer in the Iowa based multi-platinum metal masters Slipknot. But in December 2013 he lost that gig.
It’s been widely rumored that he was fired, or that he quit depending on which story you’re reading.
Back in 2002 the skin basher decided he wanted to go Motley Ghoul and formed the monster mashers Murderdolls. Jordison played a less than stellar rhythm guitar in the side-project and jumped around dressing like a half aborted prequel to Black Veil Brides.
After a short stint the police hats and tight skinny jeans were traded for another scary mask.
Shortknot made another attempt with a second Murderdolls release in 2010 but that ended badly. Insiders allege Jordison was having a series of ‘mental breakdowns’ during the tours. This included him throwing his guitar down and storming off stage at several shows.
Now in 2014 there are rumors abound alleging everything from drinking to drugs to a medical condition for his weight gain.
Maybe it’s best he’s not in the knot – imagine him in the orange jump suit at his height and weight. Cue the music now – Oompa, loompa, doopity-de-do, we’ve got another puzzle for you!
Joey Jordison squeaks into the top ten at #10 in our Top Rockers who look homeless list.
#9 Ace Frehley Ex KISS guitarist
Ace Frehley was once a rock guitar God to the main stream masses as the Spaceman in KISS. But today if he walked by you – most wouldn’t recognize him from a pack of corner winos.
Unless of course you’re a lifelong member of the KISS Army.
It’s hard to say whether the Spaceman is a millionaire these days but his look sure doesn’t let you believe that. Most images of Frehley online show a former shadow of his once rock star self. Usually dressed down he looks like any other random old man.
Ace looks a bit weathered for sure, but he has likely drank more alcohol than all of Poison, Slaughter and Danger Danger combined.
Instead of looking like a pin-up from Cream Magazine in the 70s, these days he looks like a dirty bar tender from New Jersey.
But what can we expect. He is 63 and also had to put up with Gene Simmon’s ego over 4 decades. That’ll age anyone we’re sure.
Ace is our #9 homeless looking rock star.
#8 Rob Zombie of White Zombie
Rob has always looked like he was dragged behind a dragula all the way down route 66. With no stops.
For this, Mr. Zombie makes our list at #8 for looking homeless.
This has been Rob’s text book look for sometime, and we’re gonna say he should probably collect royalties from all the band-wagoners who have jumped on and jocked his style in recent years.
We’re not sure how one decides, “I wanna look homeless” but it seems to be the latest cool trend in rock n’ roll for sure.
Even Brad Pitt was looking homeless for a while.
In truth, we’re pretty sure Rob isn’t homeless as it was recently reported that he put his 23 acre Connecticut estate up for sale asking 2.3 million dollars.
Maybe if it sells and he covers all the taxes, fees and finds a new place for sub 2M, maybe he can grab a cut and a wash to go with the new digs.
#7 Steven Tyler of Aerosmith
Steven Tyler looks amazing. As in amazingly broke down. But that will happen when you’re less than a fist full of years from 70.
Let’s be real here. Steven seems to have taken on a new look in recent years, and that look is that of a homeless person. Even Tyler’s toes look homeless. His tits too.
Yes, his tits.
What man lets their tits get to this point? And if your tits do end up like this, who the hell goes to the beach and let’s them swing in the wind like dirty bananas.
Tyler also took a serious fall in the shower back in 2011 while on tour in Paraguay. That fall knocked out some teeth and bashed his face in pretty good – adding to his homeless image. He even tweeted the pics for all to see.
He may have jacked up tits, teeth and toes but Steven ain’t afraid to own it. He even paints his jacked up dogs with colored polish and rocks them for the world to enjoy.
Steven has always been a bit flamboyant, but the scarfs, gawdy jewelry and grey hair are starting to make him look a bit like Phyllis Diller at times.
Tyler comes in at #7 on our homeless looking rock stars list.
#6 John Corabi Ex Motley Crue singer
John Corabi has done it all. Except shave in the last calendar year. He’s been the singer in Motley Crue, the guitarist in Ratt, formed a band with a member of KISS and jammed with many legends and many more losers.
We won’t list the losers as that might take a few hours. John was raised and learned to rock in Philadelphia. Then moved west to raise hell in Hollywood. Now over the last decade he’s called Nashville home.
Corabi is like the Boxcar Willie of rock n’ roll. He just keeps moving along. Town to town and band to band. If only he would go shower to shower.
In the end, even though Crab (as his friends call him) looks like a street bum, he’s probably the nicest guy of all our homeless stars.
It seems John goes through phases in life. This must be his homeless phase. Anyone remember when his dread locks were for sale on eBay?
We do. Metal Sludge wants to know – will there be a ‘John Corabi Beard in a Baggie’ eBay auction before the end of 2014?
Crab is #6 in our Rock Stars who look homeless list.
#5 Chris Holmes Ex W.A.S.P. guitarist
Chris Holmes is best known for his heavy metal guitar work with the 80’s shock rockers W.A.S.P.
But, lest us not forget, Chris is also infamously famous for his drunken pool scene in “Decline of Western Civilization Part 2 – The Metal Years”.
His former partner and boss (Blackie Lawless) wrote the song “Mean Man” about Holmes. Chris may play like a Yeti on meth when he hits the stage but anyone who has ever met the guitarist would likely say he’s anything but mean.
Since his departure from W.A.S.P. he’s jumped from band to band but hasn’t seemed to find a home. And from his looks over the last decade, it appears he may not have found a steady house to live in either.
Chris recently moved to Europe and said he’s not coming back to America. He sold every thing including his car.
He may have appeared homeless, but we can confirm he wasn’t car-less. Holmes sold his love machine for $ 1,500.00 on craigslist in March 2014.
The mad man is #5 in our list of Rock Stars who look homeless.
#4 Max Cavalera – Soulfly/Ex Sepultura
Brazil is a jungle, and it appears Max was raised in it.
The former member of South America and Brazil’s biggest ever metal band Sepultura, Cavalera had a falling out with the group he shared and co-founded with his own blood brother (Igor) in 1996.
He went on to form Soulfly and it appears he hasn’t taken a bath since.
If Max smells half as bad as he looks, it’s a wonder he’s only #4 on our list.
#3 Phil Anselmo – Pantera’s voice
Phil Anselmo has self proclaimed himself, ‘the kid’. But in recent times the kid looks like anything but a kid.
Phil has taken his hygiene into a place that nearly no man has gone. Except of course, all the others on this list with him.
The classic punishing voice of Pantera seems to be keeping his hair shaved as of late. But like bin Laden – he’s rocking that filthy facial nest.
Something else we’ve noticed about Phil. He’s been pro ‘hippie lettuce’ (as he calls it) for a while. And it seems he’s smoked enough of it to burn, fry, destroy and compromise a pretty good amount of brain cells.
Anselmo is a die hard rocker, but also a big fight and wrestling fan. This makes one wonder, is Phil the illegitimate child of George the Animal Steele? If not, we’re gonna guess he’s somehow related to the Bushwhackers wrestling tag team. If you don’t know – google it.
Phil Anselmo is #3 on our Rockers who look homeless list.
#2 Zakk Wylde – Black Label Society/Ozzy Osbourne Band
From golden flowing locks and a handsome chiseled face in his 20’s, Zakk Wylde now in his late 40’s looks more like a Grizzly Adams impersonator.
In the early 90’s the New Jersey native was wearing tight jeans, along with sexy and strategically cut t-shirts as a pin-up in Metal Edge. But today he looks more like a Hell’s Angel member running from the law.
Wylde is always wearing his trademark vest or jean jacket. Neither look like they have been washed since Ozzy‘s kids were in grade school.
We’re not sure of exact dates, but we’re gonna go out on a limb and say Zakk probably hasn’t shaved yet in this millennium. We can only hope that he’s bathed. We’ll assume so – as we’re pretty sure his family would not allow him to come home from the road smelling like a bag of sour onions.
Like many homeless men, Zakk even though a bit scary looking, seems to be a gentle guy. Kind of the human version of Gentle Ben.
Clearly the time spent on the crazy train has caught up with Zakk. He once resembled a rocked out version of Leif Garrett, but now looks more battered than Ozzy does who is well into his 60’s.
Zakk comes in at #2 in our Rock Stars who look homeless.
#1 Stanley of Life Sex & Death
The king is here. The one, the only, Stanley. Real name Chris Stann.
If you don’t know who Stanley is, or was, may we suggest the search bar and 10 minutes of your time. Or just read this next sentence. Stanley was the singer of the Los Angeles based rock group LSD (Life Sex & Death).
This man’s odor, look, voice, stage moves and piss stained clothing are that of legend.
Stanley was so gross he makes these other homeless stars look like the Brady Bunch brothers.
Seriously, Don Dokken currently looks like Donny Osmond compared to Stanley in his prime.
The band originated in Chicago but moved to Hollywood and soon found themselves signed to a major label recording contract in 1990.
Most musicians headed west to seek out fortune and fame. But it appears Stanley sought out dumpsters and vomit covered clothing.
Watch Stanley and LSD in action with the clips below.
Stanley is our #1 rocker who looks homeless.