Metal Sludge — Continuing in our series of Sludge Flashbacks, today we’re going to go way back, back to the 1900’s… back when the Prince hit was on every radio radar for the final weeks of that year.

Below is the exact interview Metal Sludge published on July 6th 1999 with (at the time) former Warrant guitarist Joey Allen.

As everyone knows, Warrant has since reunited a few different ways and the complete classic lineup continue to perform live, write, record and release music with their modern day front man Robert Mason.

Enjoy the old school Metal Sludge 20 questions below.

Metal Sludge 20 Questions Joey Allen – ex-Warrant Guitarist  July 6th 1999

Finally Metal Sludge got the opportunity to interview somebody from Warrant!!!  Ok, somebody who use to be in Warrant, close enough.  Hey, Joey’s sold more records than Rick what’s his name.  A few months back Erik Turner agreed to do 20 Questions with us, but once he saw the questions we never heard from him again.  We tried Jerry Dixon and Rick Steier, but they never responded.  But Joey Allen, he came to us!  Joey is down with Metal Sludge and agreed to answer all our stupid questions.   That’s probably ’cause he ain’t got a lot of shit going on, but so fucking what!  It’s good enough for us.  Plus he talks about Jani’s wig, so how can you not like that?  So sit back and prepare yourself to find out everything you never wanted to know about Warrant!

1. What the hell are you currently up to? (This is the only chance to plug your websites, tours, CD, and other shit.)

Joey Allen: I currently work for the largest Mid-tier ERP software developer in the world. I’m a Remote ERP Consultant. I’m also working on my MCSE (Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer). I’m writing/recording tunes in my home studio for a CD I will release sometime in the near future. No website is necessary until the product is done.

2. If you could be a tampon for any celebrity, who would it be?

Joey Allen: Catherine Zeta Jones

3. Has Steven Sweet ever delivered a UPS package to your door?

Joey Allen:  Steven never worked for UPS.  Steven is alive and doing great. He is self employed.

4. What Warrant song could go into a vault labeled “Songs That Fucking Suck.

Joey Allen: There are two that come to mind immediately,  1. Heaven  2. Hollywood (better known as the Jane’s Addiction tune ‘Jane’s Song’) 

5. During a typical Warrant tour, what percent of the time were you guys faithful to your wives, and who cheated the most?

Joey Allen: Out of a 100% I’d have to say -99.9%. As far as the guy that was the most unfaithful, take your pick. You have a  99.9% chance of being correct. Of course this was when I was in the band. I don’t know what goes on now.  I can imagine that the girls are less desirable, due to poor CD sales.

6. Other than Warrant, what hard rock/heavy metal band should give it up and call it a day?

Joey Allen: Any one of them that doesn’t truly enjoy what they’re doing.

7. In their prime, which member of Warrant was the biggest drunk, and how much alcohol would they go through in a day?

Joey Allen:  I have to say it was probably me.  And I’d guess about three six packs and a fifth or so of Jack.  Plus anything else I could find to inhale, smoke or digest.  You have got to have a balance, you know?

8. For $1,000,000, which would you do:
A.  Appear on a telethon to taunt children afflicted with muscular dystrophy
B.  “Accidentally” on purpose run over a panhandler, turning him into a glorified cabbage. OR
C.  See how far you can work a plumber’s snake up your own rectum.

Joey Allen: That would be ‘B’. Get a fucking job.

9. What’s the sickest thing Warrant ever did to a groupie?

Joey Allen: Let our Keyboardist fuck her.

10. Rate the following chicks on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 being a pig, 10 being a hottie.

Joey Allen:  I took the liberty of adding a few comments.

Rowanne Lane = (Chasity Bono) 1
Bobbie Brown = (Yoko Ono / Sperm Bank) -1
Susan Ashley Dixon = (No comment)
Pamela Anderson = (Porn Star) 8
Courtney Love = (Skanky bitch) 1
Susie Hatton = (Nice girl) 7
Gerri Miller = Ha, ha, ha…
Bekka Bramlett = Nice girl) 5
Kirsten Turner  = (Sweetheart) 7
Britney Spears = (Little slut) 7

11.  Do you laugh at the fact that nobody knows who the hell Rick Steier is?

Joey Allen: Who?  Wasn’t he in Fred  Zeppelin?  Rick is cool. I have no problem with Rick.

12. Counting all former and current band members, how many total DUI’s has Warrant collected?

Joey Allen: At least two that I know of.

13. What rock star deserves the biggest smack in the mouth?

Joey Allen: Any one of them that thinks they are still a rock star. Rock stars are now called athletes.

14. While touring with Warrant, Jani & Jerry would let you & Erik get on their shoulders and rock out. Did Jani’s hair piece ever get caught on your whammy bar? 

Joey Allen: He only had that hat on his head for a few months.  I think I might have pulled it a few times, he would get pissed:  “Don’t pull my fucking hat, ugh!!!”.  Ha, ha, ha…

15. You quit Warrant first, then Steven & Erik. Why do you think Jani & Jerry are still doing it? And do you think they are aware of the fact that they are the Blackfoot, Uriah Heep, UFO, Nazareth of the 90s?

Joey Allen: 1. Money. 2. I couldn’t tell you. I don’t know. That’s kind of sad though, isn’t it… Ha, ha, ha…

16. Your gut looked kinda bloated on the VH1 special, have you been eating a lot or does it run in the family?

Joey Allen: Hey, fuck you… What do you think happens when you’re downing a ? pounder at KnollWoods Burger stand and sucking down a case of beer per 18 holes of golf all the time… Besides you’re no fucking Olive oil!!! Fat Fuck… On a serious note,  I quit doing all of the blow and I gained about thirty pounds.  Fuck it, I’m healthier now then I’ve ever been.

17.  When can we expect the big Warrant reunion? With all original Columbia recording artist members. (Not really though, considering you, Jani & Steven were not original Warrant members, right?)

Joey Allen: 1. It’ll never happen, lucky for you guy’s huh?  Steven won’t even discuss it.  I, being a money slut, would do it for the right price. 2. Absolutely correct.

18. Did you leave Warrant because you ran out of hair?

Joey Allen: I left Warrant to keep what little I have left.  And take my ass off of that hair chart.  I have never done transplants, nor have I ever worn a fucking wig.  Only insecure pussies do that shit.  I’ll shave my fucking head before I do the cul-de-sac look.  Thank you very much.

19. At this very moment, what do you think Jerry Dixon is doing right now?
A. Drinking
B. Cheating On His Wife
C. Vomitting
D. Popping various pills
E. Passed out after drinking, vomiting, popping pills, and cheating on his wife.

Joey Allen: Probably sleeping one off or puking his guts up on the fifth hole at Brookside Golf course in Pasadena. God bless my friend Jerry.

20. Here’s some word association. We mention a name and you give us your thoughts, for example, Mick Mars / Senior citizen who wears a wig.

Rikki Rockett = The Worst drummer in Rock ‘n’ Roll… ever!
Gerri Miller = Where are they now?
Rick Steier = Nice guy.
Pamela Anderson = 1st grade education but boy can she fuck.
Bret Michaels = Too talented for words, yeah right!
Dana Strum = Up all night, Sleep all day.
Steven Sweet = Nice guy, good friend.
C.C. DeVille = Good friend, crazy mother fucker.
Budweiser Frogs = The Jani Lane Choir.
Josh Lewis (original Warrant guitarist) = Wizard of OZ/Midget.


If you want to find out more about Joey, too bad.  He doesn’t have a website, and he doesn’t want his email address given out.  So your fucked.  But you can check out his former band Warrant at www.warrantweb.net.

Copyright & Credit Metal Sludge July 6th 1999