Metal Sludge

Metal Sludge

20 Questions with Ted Poley, 5/18/99





Welcome to our latest star studded interview, this time with former Danger Danger frontman frontman Ted Poley. Ted provided us with a very candid and entertaining 20 Questions. Plus he sent back his questions within a few hours, so Ted gets brownie points for that. So here’s Ted’s naughty naughty interview.

1. What the hell are you currently up to? (This is your only chance to plug your projects, CDs, websites, etc.)
TED: Running my own label, BIG DISC MUSIC, catalog includes 3 Bonemachine cd titles and a concert home video Click here: The Ted Poley Official Web Site , managing LIQUID from Cleveland Click here: "LIQUID"//UNSIGNED ARTIST BLVD. , buying and selling antiques and collectibles, looking for a nice girl…

2. How old are you??
TED: I am 37 born Jan 5th 1962

3. Why why does does Danger Danger have have so so many many songs songs that that have have double double words words?
TED: Because we were so innovative, actually you would have to ask Steve, he wrote the songs that made the whole world sing….twice..

4. If you could be a tampon for any celebrity, who would it be?
TED: Kathy Lee Gifford

5. What is your involvement with the band Liquid?
TED: I am their manager/producer/all round guru,fan and friend

6. How much of a pain in the ass was Alice Cooper to tour with?
TED: Good one! He wasnt around alot actually, he golfs alot and didnt travel with the band so I didnt see him much, it was kind of funny warming up for a guy who was thrown out of the band though (AL PITRELLI, original D2 guitarist, then playing with Alice)

7. Why did Danger Danger split up? What happenned?
TED: I was fired by my 2 partners, the music scene was changing at the time and they wanted to go in another direction, so I got the letter in the mail.

8. Who?s your favorite porn star?
TED: Brittney Spears

9. How was your 15 minutes of fame?
TED: It felt more like 10 minutes but it was fun while it lasted.

10. Please rate the following chicks on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 being a slob, and 10 being totally fuckable.

Christina Applegate: 8
Debbie Gibson: old debbie = 8, new debbie = 4
Claudia Schiffer: 9 with her mouth completely taped shut
The fat chick from Wilson Phillips: 4 (or 2 two’s)
Jennifer Aniston: 7
Courtney Cox: 8 however if the 2 "friends" were being had at the same time, the total may be higher than the sum of the parts,more like an 18 or 19 cumulative score
Marilyn Manson: maybe a 1 if he let me jerk off on his blue head
Rose McGowan: I give her a nice sloppy 9
Gerri Miller 10
The fat chick from Heart: I may be twisted but I would still love a blowjob from her, I was a huge Heart fan, I give her an 8

11. What?s your strangest fan story?
TED: I married one once…..

12. How many CDs combined did Bone Machine sell? (please be advise that if your answer is higher than 1000 we won’t believe you)
TED: well Ripley, believe it or not Dogs has sold approx. 4,000 worldwide,Search and Destroy live= 1,800+ (US sales, i dont know how many in England where it is on Now and Then records) Disappearing Inc= 3000+ worldwide not including Japan (won Best CD of 1996 voted by readers of frontiers Mag U.K.) It is on Teichiku Records in Japan, I dont have the sales figures for that but I did get a hefty advance so who cares?

13. What rock star deserves the biggest smack in the mouth?
TED: Lars from Metallica, I love the band but everytime I see him in an interview he always says something stupid, good musician, lousy spokesperson.

14. What?s the best rumor you?ve ever heard about yourself?
TED: That I wasnt in Danger Danger anymore, that is just a rumor right? Hey coming to think about it, it has been a while since we’ve rehearsed….

15. Do you ever think that playing with antique toys could be a small sign of retardation or that your a possible pedophile?
TED: Retardation maybe, pedophile no, besides, I dont play with em, I buy and sell em, made more from that than from the music biz, thats for sure…im retarded all the way to the bank!

16. When was the last time you posed in the nude?
TED: I am nude right now

17. Do you think you?ll ever see the inside of a tour bus again?
TED: Maybe if I get a job for a company that cleans this country anyway

18. What hard rock/heavy metal band should give it up and call it a day?
TED: Van Halen

19. When can we expect the huge Danger Danger worldwide Reunion tour?
TED: I am waiting for the call and memorizing old lyrics, very ready to tour again

20. Now’s it’s time for Word Association. We mention a name, and you give us your thoughts.
Paul Stanley = rock star, one of my all time favorites
Jani Lane = dick
Charles Manson = dick
Marilyn Manson = showmanship to the max
Bruno Ravel = talented guy
Steve West = hangs out with a talented guy(actually quite a gifted writer, I just thought that sounded funny)
Paul Laine = never met him
Marvelous 3 = cool band, like em better than southgang
Slaughter = survivors
Pamela Anderson = removed her fake tits-WHAT WAS SHE THINKING?

Now wasn’t that entertaining? Of course it was ya silly bastard. Anybody who calls Jani Lane a dick is automatically cool with us! So go visit Ted’s site and sell him some of your old fucking toys. And after you’ve sold him your old shit, go see what Liquid is up to.
The Ted Poley Official Web Site



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