Brent Muscat, 8/12/03

Brent Muscat

This is long over due! After receiving some of the most brutal and honest Tour Diaries we’ve ever received, giving Brent Muscat a Super Balls Award was a no-brainer. The guy deserved one after his first entry! The highlight of the tour to us was his entries, and if his entries are any indication, his book should be great!

So here you go Brent, you asked for it and you deserve it:

 
The Super Balls Award

Lets recap some highlights from Brent’s MSX Tour Diary. These are some of the “Greatest Hits!”

From Entry #1

“From what I read on the L.A. Guns’ web site, Obi Steinman, L.A. Guns’ manager, was strongly against the tour, as well. L.A. Guns were offered a chance to headline this tour before anyone else was asked–and they turned it down! They hinted that they had something real “big” in the works. I have to be honest with you, the reader, there aren’t many “big” tours for a hard rock band left. Phil, Steve, and Adam are all friends of mine and I thought they had a great CD to promote and that the Sludge tour would help do that. I told Phil, as a friend and not as a member of Faster Pussycat (we still hadn’t been offered the tour yet), that I felt the MSX tour was a good idea.

Oh! By the way, that “big” tour L. A Guns is doing is opening for Great White. (I wish them the best of luck.) L.A. Guns were told that they would be playing big venues and sheds. Now I hear that they are calling all the venues that MSX is scheduled to play and booking the L.A. Guns/XYZ/Great White show. In the long run, L.A. Guns is going to end up playing the same
venues as the Sludge tour, but they are only going to open and make much less money. I don’t want to put my foot in my mouth, this whole Sludge tour could fall apart tomorrow and I would look like an idiot, but hopefully that won’t happen.

Musicians and so-called “friends” went as far as betting me that the Sludge tour would either not happen or that it would fail. Most of the people who turned this tour down because they thought that something “big” would come along will be sitting home this summer.”

From Entry #1

“This is a scaled down tour to say the least. Pretty Boy Floyd and Enuff Z Nuff share a tour bus. PBF brought one guitar tech and EZN brought themselves and their guitars. EZN brought nothing. No gear, not even a guitar cord! It’s a far cry form last year’s Poison tour, when each member of Poison had two personal security guards–or as we affectionately called them, the “Poison police”. (I never understood why Poison needed so much security. Call me crazy, but I don’t recall Al-Quida targeting the members of Poison. That’s not to say that all the guys in Poison weren’t nice guys, it’s just that they grew attached to a certain way of touring.)”

From Entry #2

“A lot of people might talk shit about Sludge, but I will tell you this: those are the same people reading it. I picture middle-aged rockers sitting down with a cup of coffee in front of their computers reading the site as if it were the Wall Street Journal.”

“There are nights on this tour when I can understand why Greg Steele quit during our 2001 “reunion” tour. I would be a liar if I told you that I haven’t considered quitting right here in the middle of the MSX Tour. Being on the road now is a far cry from how it was in say 1989. The venues are smaller, the crowds can be smaller, and unfortunately the pay is smaller.”

From Entry #3

“I awoke this morning to Les and Chad from Pretty Boy Floyd screaming something about how this wasn’t Faster Pussycat’s tour and how they didn’t have to listen to us and that they could do whatever they wanted. Basically, we had been going on quite late every night and it was agreed how long each band would play. It was up to PBF to go onstage on time so that the other two bands would also be able to play on time. The bartender at the club told JD, one of our crew guys, that they were running around the club in their socks and that Les and Chad had eleven shots each before noon. At one point, it got so bad that Chad from PBF was locked in the back of their tour bus, which is Nirvana?s old tour bus. You could see his skinny legs trying to climb out the window of their bus to escape.”

From Entry #3

“After the show, I talked to Billy for a while and I tested a story from my book, Babblin’ On, on him. It was my now infamous “Warrant/Starbucks” story. For those of you haven’t heard it yet, I am not ashamed to admit that not too long after Faster Pussycat was dropped from Elektra Records, I spent a short amount of time working at a Starbucks in California. I had planned on working at a small coffee shop where nobody would ever recognize me, but somehow I ended up at Starbucks. (I think that in a way I was punishing myself for not continuing to succeed as a musician.) One day I was working and who should come in but Erik Turner and Jerry Dixon from Warrant. At the time I didn’t know their names, but I knew right away from Dixon’s bushy eyebrows that they were in Warrant. I had to decide quickly if I was going to make their drinks or hide in the back. I ended up making their latt?s and I think they felt awkward and maybe embarrassed for me. Personally, at the time I didn’t think Warrant was doing very well and I thought it might not be long before these guys were working a ?day job?, as well. They were polite and I didn’t think they would make fun of me, but I guess I was wrong. Last year, on the Poison Tour, their old drummer, James Kottak, came out to see us play and he told me how the guys in Warrant were making fun of me. I think Billy Morris enjoyed the story and we agreed that sometimes even rock stars are reduced to working at Starbucks or selling soap on their websites or even filling in for me on guitar in Suki Jones…”

From Entry #4

“Earlier in the day, we were scheduled to do a radio show called ?The Tour Bus? with a DJ named Ralph. I had done the show a few years back with Phil Lewis, so it was nothing new to me. I personally am not a big fan of The Tour Bus and wasn?t sure that I wanted to do the interview. On our last tour, I was going to go on the air and talk about my book, but I was told by our publicist that Ralph the DJ said he wouldn?t have me on without ?TIE-ME?. Taime does not like to do press unless he has something new to promote and at the time there was nothing. I thought I had cool stories to share and it could make for good radio. If you look at the list of past guests on this show, they have had on far lesser known people than me. I didn?t think much of it at the time, but I did a feel a bit slighted.”

From Entry #4

“The next day our publicist got an email from Ralph the DJ asking if the bands would email Sludge and say that we thought it was funny and that everything was cool. So, let me get this straight. First, Ralph doesn?t want me on his radio show without ?Tie-me? and now he did something stupid and he wants me to help clear his name by making myself look like a jerk? I don?t think so! I spoke to CC Banana and let him know that I was on his side and would defend him in my diary. I think he was happy to hear it.”

From Entry #6

“I watched a bit of each band from the side of the stage except when Vince Neil performed. He had the stage cleared before he went on and nobody was allowed to watch from the side of the stage. What I found odd is that when he went off, Poison opened the stage back up and everyone was able to watch again. I think maybe Vince was scared that one of us clowns might play a joke on him–or maybe he just doesn’t like his profile.”

From Entry #6

“I met a few fans and one of them wanted to trade digital cameras with me. I thought it was a strange offer, but they had a nicer camera than I did and I was intrigued. They told me that if I got them backstage, they would just give me the camera. I didn’t have any extra passes, but I wasn’t on the Poison tour so what did I have to lose? Before I walked these four gracious fans backstage, I gave them a “confidence speech”. What I told them was that the way to get past security without a pass is to walk in as if you owned the place. I also gave them t-shirts, guitar picks, a signed photo, and all the alcohol they could drink. I instructed them as to what to do in the event they got caught and I made each of them repeat it over and over again like a mantra. “If someone asks who let you back here without passes, what do you say?”–“Jason Hook.”–“Who?”–“Jason Hook!”–“I can’t hear you!”–“JASON HOOK!” Confused, they asked me, “Who’s Jason Hook?” With that I said goodbye and left them to fend for themselves. I don’t know Jason Hook very well, but I heard that he’s been getting in a lot of trouble with Poison on this tour, so I thought a little more couldn’t hurt him.”

From Entry #7

“Sitting there on that plane reminded me of 1993 when we flew home from Japan after playing our final concert together as Faster Pussycat. It was a miserable plane ride and we all knew the band was over. A fan bought a first class ticket so that she could sit with us. She must have been surprised when she found us in coach. Always thinking, I waited for Taime to fall asleep and I walked up to first class and spoke with this Japanese fan. She was more then happy to trade me her seat to be closer to Taime. For that long ride home she sat in my seat directly behind Taime in coach and I sat in her seat in first class. When we got off the plane, Taime and I said our usual “I’ll call you tomorrow” and never did.

Now, ten years later, some things never change. Taime and I exchanged our good-byes and said “Talk to you tomorrow.” I still haven’t spoken to him.”

From Entry #7

“The next morning, I awoke and Chad, FP’s drummer, told me an interesting story. Apparently, EZN and PBF went to Las Vegas to play a club called Pink E’s after the Whitesnake/Warrant concert. I also heard that Obi Steinman said that Faster Pussycat is banned from playing Pink E’s, which is one of the reasons MSX never played Las Vegas. Now, I heard Obi gave pictures of each Faster Pussycat member to the security guards at every entrance to the venue of the Whitesnake/Warrant show (or Kip Winger/Slaughter show if you prefer). I was told that the venue security was instructed not to allow any member of Faster Pussycat in. I am honored to say that at least I get the same treatment Axl Rose gave Slash when he would not let him into the GnR show at the Hard Rock in 2002. I would also love to see the pictures Obi used.

If you live in Las Vegas and would like to see us play, then give Pink E’s a call and tell them what you think. Their phone number is (702) 252-4666.

I just want to know one thing: Why would I want to go to Las Vegas to see Whitesnake, Warrant, Winger, and Slaughter anyway? I?ve toured with every band on that bill when they each had the original members!”

Those are just some of the topics that Brent covered, not to mention all the great photos of naked chicks and various touring debauchery!

Congratulations to Brent, or should we say the future Governor Of California, for winning our Super Balls Award!