Hello everybody! I realize my Ho-Bag hasn’t been updated in over a year but believe it or not, it’s simply because I haven’t really had anything to post. Other than that Donkey Punch email I put up in January ’04, most of the emails I get these days are either dealing with various Metal Sludge business (press, 20 Questions, etc), or they’re just emails asking, "Do you know how big (insert rock star name)’s cock is?" I’ve said this before, but if I know something, it’s on the page. I don’t have a vault of secret cock information I’m withholding from anybody! I’m not going to email you anything different than what’s already on the page.
Well, there are also the 500 emails I get everyday about Viagra or if I need a mortgage, or how to get a bigger dick. I’ve been looking for a bigger dick for a while but those emails never seem to help.
A lot of people also ask their questions on the Ho-Board instead of asking me, which is perfectly fine. You can get a lot of great opinions on the Ho-Board so that’s always a good start when wanting to know something! Sometimes I’m not around so that’s the best place to go.
I also seem to get all the weird emails from all our ‘special’ fans. Guys asking for photos, letting me know they’re jacking off, telling me how hot I am when they don’t even know what I look like, and all the stuff I’ve talked about before. Let me just say that guys write some fucked up shit when they’re trying to get off. Makes me wanna wash my hands everytime I check my emails! I did have one guy send in a photo of his cock and it wasn’t bad! However, in one photo he was on all fours and had his cock pushed back between his legs, so that was wrong. I’m not quite sure what the purpose of that was. Like I said, I get all sorts of things.
I have managed to roundup a few emails so I can at least put something up for you. It’s not much and a few are strange but it’s better than nothing.
Before I start, let me welcome those of you who saw us on VH-1’s "100 Metal Moments" and have never been here before! Welcome to the show and I hope you stick around! Make yourself at home!
I hope you’re still answering this mail ’cause you’re last ho-bag is about a year old.
Anyway I’m kind of a groupie too and I’ve never seen the answer to the question like I have. I’m from small Europeian country where musicians more or less know eachother. I know several of them and with few i had slept with. But once one of them asked me with how many guys I’ve been with (8, 4 of them were musicians and 2 football players), but I said four ’cause I didn’t want him to think I’m easy (I know him since I was 15 or something like that) and I’m 20 now. Do you think I did the right thing? Do you ever tell the right number? What if they aske you for some names, do you give it to them?
Thanks, bye, Nina
If I ever told a guy the right number he’d think I was in the world’s biggest gang bang!
This is a good question. I think what you did was all right. You were with 8 guys and you cut it in half so that’s fair. Like Chris Rock once said, for some guys, even the number 2 is too many! "Two? You were with two? Must have been how you were raised!" Some guys just don’t wanna know. They wanna think they’re discovering some new land and planting their flag somewhere. I guess it depends on what your motives are. If it’s your future husband, then I think you should be honest. If it’s some dude you just wanna fuck, then it doesn’t really matter. Also, if you’re the town slut, and we all have town sluts, and everybody knows you’ve been with 390 guys, don’t say you’ve been with 3. If you’re going to lie about your number, try to be realistic.
If a guy starts asking you for names, ask him if he’s running a background check! Just give him the names of the 4 guys you want to admit to fucking. Have the names and numbers already figured out before hand so you don’t stumble and look like your lying. You can always start asking him questions too and most guys will probably drop it after that.
First off, been a huge fan of Metal Sludge since it’s inception. This is Jennifer Rose [Senior Editor] over at OUI Magazine [yes, the porn magazine and the originators of the whole porn/metal connection…OUI ROCKS!!!] We have this metal section that I do [as well as writing some porn] and recently interviewed Kerry King from Slayer…I’ve incorporated into my interviews lately sex questions. Just wanted you to know that I mentioned to him that he was in Metal Sludge’s The Long & Short of It…so I gave you guys a plug! FYI! The Slayer interview is in the new issue of OUI with Devon on the stands right now.
Keep UP the good work!
Great, thank you Jennifer! I also heard Metal Sludge & Donna’s Domain was featured in the May issue of A.V.N., the Adult Video News. I haven’t seen it yet but somebody emailed me about. Thanks to everyone for the press!
For these next emails I had to borrow Ozzy Stillbourne’s technique of inserting smart ass remarks throughout an email. I have to start doing stuff like this to cut down on the crazy emails I get sent.
I want to ask you a few questions.
I wanted to know if Bret Michaels, Stevie Rachelle and Rikki Rockett are involved in serious relationships. Yes they are. They are all dating each other in a Menage-A-Trois. Yes, I know it’s far-fetched; but, I would like to get to know one of them. (I think they are all adorable!)
I thought about sending a personal letter (through the old fashioned mail); although it is difficult finding addresses for Bret and Rikki. I don’t want to be a one night stand. You might not be a one night stand with Bret or Rikki, but you better be willing not to fuck any other guys while they fuck whoever they want. If that makes you happy, have at ’em! Wish there were some cute men locally that resembled them, but, there don’t seem to be any. There are cute guys everywhere unless you live in the Artic or something.
Are there any cute blonde musicians on the horizon; Let me look out my window and see; nope, don’t see any on the horizon. that are single that you know of; better to know them I suppose before they make it or even if they don’t make it. I just love the blonde musician thing. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Buy a vibrator.
Thank you for any information that you can provide! By the way, you are an absolutely gorgeous woman. Thank you. A lot of people say I look like a cross between Pamela Anderson, Donna D’Errico and Bobbie Brown.
Thank you again,
this may sound stupid to you, Probably but i don’t know what else to do. i’ve tried writing to howard stern, sent e-mails to numerous places and nobody will give me any answers. well here it goes, i’m 29 and have had a thing for Axl Rose since i was about 13. i was on some site and someone there said you knew him. Yes, he’s right here fixing his braids. I’ll tell him you said hello. i would do almost anything to meet him, if i can’t meet him i would at least love to speak with him and tell him how great i think he is. i know how stupid you must think i sound, Yes but did you ever want something so bad, Isn’t that a Def Leppard song? anything no matter what it was? but it was impossible to get, didn’t you feel hopeless? There was these one pair of shoes I really wanted and when I went back from them they were gone, so I can relate. i’m not a stalker, Of course i don’t wanna marry him or have his baby, i just want to meet the greatest performer in the world. You want to meet Butch Walker? I thought you were talking about Axl. thank you so much for your time, and i would really appreciate any help from you.
Two emails are up next that have groupie stories! One is about David Draiman from Disturbed and the other is Yogi from Buckcherry.
I just wanted to update you on David Draiman…..
When I first started hanging out with him, someone told me about your list, I looked at it and I must say I should have listened to what was said. OH well. Anyway, everything on the right up about him is SOOO true except the gay thing and the selfish thing…he actually is very giving in bed, not in any hurry, and for the gay he is not gay and does not like his asshole touched at all, and is very very sensitive about the whole rumor that he is bi…he’s not at all. But everything else is so true, he is cheap, I’ve been fucking him for 9 months now and he has bought me dinner and breakfast a couple times but that’s it, he is a ladies man, he will knock you right off your feet with his sweetness, and he is with a different girl every night, although for some reason he wants to make you believe he’s not. Here are a few more things you can ad about him…He is a really good kisser, he only fucks in front of mirrors, he wants you to spend the night so he can wake you up and fuck you at 4am, he loves to spoon to fall asleep, and he is the BIGGEST liar in the world.
Ok thats all for my update,
I recently came across your Penis Chart and I have to say, Brilliant!!! What a fun read! I thought since I hooked up with Yogi from Buckcherry (now the Wallflowers) some time ago that I should go ahead share some more info with you about the man.
He is the TOTAL package, he’s sweet, he’s gorgeous… his whole body is breathtaking, he makes you feel like a queen, and he’s got, like you said, a HUGE cock! He knows he’s got a huge cock too, he’ll ask you if you like it, if you can take it all, WHY you like it, etc… He rarely fucks on the road, mostly recieves blowjobs, I think he feels its safer? Amazing kisser, you’ll forget who you are for a minute, or at least I did, Ha Ha! Yogi knows exactly what he wants and how he wants it, he’ll tell you how to do everything, somewhat bossy-like… but for some of us, that makes it truly sexier… also might ask you if you want him to come in your mouth or on your face… you might see him grabbing on some other chick later on, but before you go, he’ll come say Goodbye and cuddle with you some more and pretty much make you forget all about the other chick who’s sitting on the bus twirling her thumbs waiting LOL and boy, will did she have IT coming! VERY large, both in length and girth… WoW!
Anyhow, hope that helps some, Thanks for the great read!!
A Groupie 🙂
Stories are always fun!
i am an average looking woman . i am 36 years old. i am not wanting to sleep with any of these people in these bands and i dont dress is slutty skimpy dresses either. My question is how can i get backstage just to meet the bands. i was wondering if you have any advice.
If you’re an average woman who is 36 and you just want to meet bands, work for a local promoter or at your local venue where bands play. Working for a radio station might also work. Anything that has to do with the music side of the business would be my best suggestion. You might be able to meet your favorite bands backstage and get paid for it!
How does one differentiate between a groupie and a band whore (for lack of a better term)? Is there a specific number of conquests a woman has to have to move from being a novice to a seasoned pro?
A groupie hooks up with a band member and sticks with that dude until they leave town. Then she hooks up with another band member when the next band comes to town.
A band whore fucks the entire road crew, the bus driver, lets people throw raw meat at her ass, poses for photos, masturbates in front of people, and is sober the entire time. That’s a band whore.
I don’t know, I guess it just depends on your definitions. I say a groupie is more selective and ladylike while a band whore fucks herself in the corner with a beer bottle.
That’s about all I’ve got for you right now. Till we meet again!