20 QUESTIONS WITH…
LUPUS
Welcome to our first interview! This interview takes place with the Bloodhound Gang’s guitarist Lupus. The Bloodhound Gang had a hit song a year or so ago with the song "Fire Water Burn." They had a video that was actually played on MTV, but even bigger than that was the fact that they were on The Jenny McCarthy Show!! That’s the big time folks! It’s all downhill from there! Who needs platinum albums when you can say you were on The Jenny McCarthy show? And yes, the Bloodhound Gang did go platinum. So we sent Lupus 20 Questions and told him no cheating or asking for help. Here it is:
LUPUS: I cheated and asked for all the help I could get, of course, no one would talk to me, so I was shit out of luck.
1. Let’s start off with your typical generic question: What is the Bloodhound Gang currently up to and when are you releasing your next CD. (note to Lupus: this is the only chance to plug your shit, do it now or forever hold your peace?)
LUPUS: We’re working on a new album right now. Its going to be released in early 1999 (it was supposed to come out in November, but we’re not the greatest musicians in the world, so we had to have more time to train the monkeys to play the stuff for us). It should be more of the same stupidity everyone expects from us. Oh yeah, the title….Hooray For Boobies, guess I should plug that in there somewhere. We even scored a few guest appearances…Parry Gripp from Nerf Herder, Joh Taylor formerly of Duran Duran (as if he needs an introduction), Jason Nufer (I know I spelled that wrong probably) from Less Than Jake, Tavis from Reel Big Fish, and Chasey Lain (the hottest porn star money could buy). There’s others too, but I didn’t want this to turn into a huge name dropping paragraph…then again, maybe people would buy our records if they read it. Oh well…too late now.
2. What 80s hair bands are the most fun to laugh at and who do you still listen to when no one else is around?
LUPUS: My favorite hair band had to be Brittany Foxx (I think they used two xs)…they used to come into the hoagie shop I worked at, so we would tease them. They always said things like "Do you know who I am?" when we gave them a hard time…they were total rock stars. I never really listened to much of the hair scene…I was more into thrash at the time, you know back when Metallica, Megadeth, Anthrax and Slayer ruled the world. That and lots of Iron Maiden. I still listen to that stuff…even when people are around. I do have to admit that although I never really loved any hair bands, I always would watch them on MTV, you can’t deny their catchy pophooks.
3. We’ve heard stories about Bloodhoung Gang shows where you put your bass player in a kiddie pool and shock the water with an electric prod, and you also throw darts into his back. Can you explain this extravaganza and can Metal Sludge join you guys on stage to throw darts at people?
LUPUS: We used to do a lot of sick stuff to him. The dart thing was always my favorite and was a great way to get people to actually watch the shows. We don’t do any of those tricks now, since the crowds are too large for the people in the back to really see and enjoy what’s going on with him up on the stage. We did take to lighting him on fire during our last European tour…so maybe we’ll bring that back for the next US tour. We did it as part of our Rammstein tribute, before people knew who they were over here. We wanted to do it here, but at the time no one had ever heard of them. Now they’re better know so it might work in the US.
4. Who gets all the fat chicks in the Bloodhoung Gang? Definition: Fat Chicks are chicks that are 150 pounds and over, unless they are over 5’10" then 150 is acceptable!
LUPUS: I guess we’ve all had our bad days. I don’t keep track of that kind of stuff though, cause I try to forget anything stupid I do…although being in the Bloodhound Gang, you’re always reminded of past mistakes by someone else. Just ask Jared about me and HefferMoose…he loves to bring her up.
5. Have you seen everybody’s dick in the Bloodhoung Gang, and if so is everyone circumsized or are there a few hooded monks in the Gang?
LUPUS: No hooded monks (never heard that phrase, great one) in this band…although I’m not proud of the fact that I know this. Our sound man only has one ball though, does that count for anything?
6. What special skills do you use on a woman if you really want to impress her besides telling her your signed?
LUPUS: Telling her I’m signed never works, cause then they say, "What band?"..and when I tell them, they always say the same thing, "Never heard of you? Should I have?" Which usually results in an explanation of "Fire Water Burn", no one ever knows it by name, but if you sing it for them, they usually know it. I usually try not to impress girls anyway, cause once you impress them with all the slick tricks you can think of, then you gotta always have tricks like that. If you show them what a loser you are right away, down the line you can do something barely impressing and they’ll think you’re the greatest man alive.
7. How was your 15 minutes of fame?
LUPUS: Thanks for reminding me that it’s over. It was fun. I hope to steal another 15 somewhere along the line though. I’ve had a blast, seen the world, drank a lot, played in front of thousands of people, and gotten free CDs…what more could a bad fast-food employee ask for?
8. If you had to have sex with Jimmy Pop, Mick Mars, or Gerri Miller, who would you choose & why?
LUPUS: Mick Mars I guess…I’ve seen too much of Jimmy Pop as it is. Mick Mars was the forgotten guy in Motley Crue, so I’d like to hear his story…maybe I could convince him to tell me after we had sex. But believe me, I’d prefer not to, without his make-up, he’s pretty scary looking.
9. Who gets laid the most in the Bloodhound Gang? (Follow up question: Has anyone ever had sex with a girl in a wheelchair?)
LUPUS: Probably Evil Jared, maybe Q-Ball. Spanky G could have won this award, but he had a girlfriend and was well behaved on tour…they’ve since broken up, so we’ll see how he fairs next time. As for the wheel chair, well, I’m not sure, but my guess would be that Jimmy Pop has…he’s done some weird things in his time.
10. What are the worst and best heavy metal albums you ever bought?
LUPUS: Worst – Surfin’ MOD by MOD (how could that ever compare to USA for MOD?) Best – Tough one…most recently I would say Against by Sepultura, but overall, Reign In Blood by Slayer
11. Have you ever woke up in the morning covered in your own urine or semen?
LUPUS: I used to be a bedwetter, so you make
the call.
12. If you were stranded on a deserted island with Rob Halford, John Henson from Talk Soup, or Hank The Angry Drunken Drawf, who would you suck off first?
LUPUS: Rob Halford, cause he likes that stuff.
13. If you could fuck Pamela Anderson, but you first had to let her shit on your nose, would you let her?
LUPUS: Nope…I never really liked her that much anyway…now if it was Christy Turlington, I’d have to think about it….really hard.
14. Who in the band has the most homosexual characteristics?
LUPUS: Jimmy Pop…no doubt about it.
15. Did you ever touch an erect penis that wasn’t your own?
LUPUS: Never.
16. Would you kiss a girl after she gave you a blow job and sucked down a huge load of your liquid kids?
LUPUS: I don’t like the term liquid kids…it grosses me out to even think about liquid kids.
17. Does anybody in the band have any restraining orders or outstanding warrants currently in effect?
LUPUS: Not that I’m aware of. Jimmy Pop and I were close to getting one put on us by Weezer, but we wound up being friends.
18. Have you ever caught anybody in the band "doing rapid one arm pullups", "launching the hand shuttle", "fathering some pleasure", "being your own best friend", etc.. in their bunk on the tour bus? Or have you ever been busted?
LUPUS: Our sound guy apparently is famous for it, but I’ve never personally caught him. I was accused by Q-Ball (our DJ) once, but he made it all up…he admitted to it later. I’m a lot more careful than that.
19. What do you think of Metal Edge magazine?
LUPUS: Two of my crowning achievements in rock and roll were being in Guitar magazine and Metal Edge.
20. Who’s taller, Spanky G, Gary Coleman, or Gerri Miller while on her knees?
LUPUS: Not sure, but I’m going to guess that Gary Coleman’s got them all beat.
Have fun kids, thanks for the questions…some of the better ones I’ve ever been asked. Let me know if you need anything else.
Thanks Lupus! If you have absolutely nothing else to do with your life, then click the link below and visit the Bloodhoung Gang’s Official Website.
Why don’t you waste more of you day and visit the official Bloodhoung Gang website?
Bloodhound Gang Online – Artificial Cerebral Palsy Home Page