GORKY PARK “S/T” (1989) by Dana Brittingham Cover: 9 Cosmonauts out of 10 Practically a stroke of marketing genius, there’s no way to mistake this cover as anything but that of “that 80’s Russian hard rock band.” It looks ...

  HARDLINE – “Double Eclipse” (1992) by Dana Brittingham Cover: 3 Separate Ways out of 10 I don’t know what the hell this is. What does it mean? It’s orange, purple, and blurry. Kind of like what you’d see if ...

  JODI BONGIOVI “Jodi Bongiovi” (1989) by Dana Brittingham Cover: 2 Mallrats out of 10. It’s an airbrushed picture of Jodi Bongiovi, wearing a fringey-leather jacket with her hands up in the air, like she’s getting arrested for underage drinking ...

  D.A.D. (DISNEYLAND AFTER DARK) “No Fuel Left For The Pilgrims” (1989) by Freelance Writer Mick Stingley Okay, now these guys are not Swedish, but they are Danish. I like Denmark. I dated a girl from Denmark for a short ...

  EYES “Eyes” (1990) By Donna Anderson Cover: 4 Eyes out of 10. It’s definitely one of those odd covers, let’s see if I can explain it. It’s a picture of someone (can’t really tell if it’s a guy or ...

  HEAVY PETTIN “LETTIN LOOSE” (1983) by bastard boy floyd Cover: 2 Gropes out of 10 It’s a set of window blinds being held open by someone’s hands. Gay. Booklet: 2 Feel-Ups out of 10 This booklet did nothing to ...