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Sludgeaholic Of The Month – December 2000, Jim Bob Dwarf

 

SLUDGEAHOLIC OF THE MONTH

This month’s Sludgeaholic should be familiar to some of you. It’s none other then Jim Bob Dwarf, the winner of our Scavenger Hunt contest!

Jim Bob’s Data Sheet

1. Where are you from?
Well, I was born in Evanston Illinois on Chicago’s north side and shortly afterwards was abandoned at the United Airlines baggage claim in O’Hare airport. Some nice people felt sorry for me and took me in to raise me as their personal slave. At a very young age we moved from the Chicago ‘burbs to the boondocks of Northwest Indiana; specifically, to a town called Valparaiso. We’re so far in the sticks, in fact, that Warrant is coming to play here on December 14th!

2. Ambitions: To be Sludgeaholic of the Month! Oh wait, I’ve already attained that. OK, to be Sludgeaholic of the Year!!! That’s the next best thing to having the prestigous honor of being a writer for Metal-Sludge. I think the Sludgeaholic who is bestowed the title of Sludgeaholic of the Year should get their own column in Sludge for the following 12 months. I’d kill for that opportunity! (Sorry Gilly, Tollywood, & Scotti… I don’t want to hurt ya… well if it comes down to it…)

3. Turn-ons: My Metal-Sludge t-shirts (I have 2!), Cafe 36 (at 36 Warmoestraat in Amsterdam), the UCA’s animated GIFs (where’d they all go?!), Bastard Boy Floyd’s stalker Lisa, Gerri Halliwell (a.k.a. Ginger Spice), Mira Sorvino (don’t tell her dad!), Heather Graham (Russ Dwarf’s sister!), and of course – and especially – Mandy Moore! (Excuse me while I wipe the drool off my keyboard… oh wait, that’s not drool!)

4. Turn-offs: Belgium (there’s not a damn thing to do in Brussels!), daytime television, and the new influx of teen-pop stars (except for Mandy Moore of course!).

5. What do you do for a living?
By trade, I’m a web designer and friend to washed-up rock stars. :) Actually it’s a long but interesting story about how I got to where I am today. When I started at University I became involved in the campus radio station as a DJ on the metal show, and then quickly moved up into the ranks of management as Specialty Programming Director (Rock & Metal). The college radio market is very, very important to record companies because, while there are several hundred commercial radio stations in the country that play rock or metal, there are literally thousands upon thousands of college radio stations with metal programming that all report to the industry trade rags and services (CMJ, Hard Report, etc.) The record companies treat you like a king if you report their stuff! I got sent to all kinds of concerts, backstage passes, got lots of free CDs, phone and in-studio interviews and the lot. In ’93 I started having local rock and metal bands do in-studios and even attempted to manage some of the better ones, using my connections to get them gigs in Chicago as warm-up acts, getting them onto compilation CDs etc. Then this new-fangled thing called “The Web” emerged in late ’94 and I saw the potential to use this to market the bands I was working, and learned everything I could about Internet communication, graphic design, etc. Well I took onto it really well and before long I found that most unsigned artists don’t have alot of money to pay a web designer, but most commercial entities sure did! I couldn’t stop people throwing money at me. My portfolio now is quite extensive. I have designed sites for newspapers, universities, telephone companies, internet providers, Fortune 500 companies, and a very prestigious art museum in Florida. But rock band websites are still my favorite! Just over a year ago, Dave Reaume (bassist / songwriter for Penny Black) won me on eBay and put me to work designing Penny Black’s website (www.pennyblack.net). Not long after that they discovered what a Dwarfs fan I was, so killerdwarfs.com was born. I’m also in the process of designing a site for a local death-metal band called Chronic Black – the site is being constructed at chronicblack.com and should be done in a few weeks. Check it out!

6. Any formal education?
Why, yes I do! Thank you for asking! I graduated in ’95 with a Bachelor of Arts degree in International Economics, with minors in Geography and German Language & Literature. As an undergrad, I also spent a semester abroad in Germany. THAT was a blast. Within a few years I plan to start working towards a Masters of Fine Arts degree in Visual Communication, so I can start teaching this stuff (web design) at University level. Think of the perks!! Speaking of which, shouldn’t Mandy be college-age soon?

7. How long have you been coming to Metal Sludge?
About a year, or just under. I’m not 100% sure exactly what I clicked on to get to you, but I was researching sites to add to the ‘links’ page at KiLLeRDWaRfS.CoM, and Sludge was linked from another site’s ‘links’ page, and I clicked on it, and the rest is history. The first thing I looked at was John Christ’s 20 Questions, and then I literally spent the next 3 or 4 days glued to my computer clicking through Metal-Sludge. I called off work. I ignored friends and family. I went through and read the entire backlog of 20 Questions, and then went through and read the entirety of the rest of the site. Afterwards I came out a new man, a “rebirth” if you will, and have been a hard-core Sludgeaholic since. So then I emailed Russ Dwarf: “Russty! You HAVE to check out this site!” So then he spent the next 3 or 4 days glued to his computer, clicking through Metal-Sludge, avoiding work, ignoring friends and family… his whole family was mad at me for months because of that. His goats haven’t spoken to me since!

8. How often do you visit our page?
Constantly, and chronically! 20+ times a day would not be an exaggeration. I’ve caught myself sitting at the computer, hitting shift+reload on the keyboard over and over again, waiting for new content to get posted. No shit!

9. My favorite way to let loose: Besides reading Metal-Sludge?! Well, I’ve played guitar since I was a kid, fell out of it for a few years, and recently gotten back into it. I suck! But I’m working on it. I even recorded a metal album last year! The whole thing is downloadable online at http://www.saqui.com/steamer/ Also, I’ve recently turned over a new leaf, quit smoking and drinking (except on very rare occasions) and joined a gym. Working out is like a whole new high if you’ve never done it before. I’m in my late 20s and at the point where my metabolism is changing, and I’m not in the same god-like shape I was in several years ago! But it’s never too late. Let this be a lesson to all those former “rock stars” that have been letting themselves go in recent years… You don’t have to be religious to realize that your body is a temple, and all sorts of things can go wrong with it if you don’t take care of it. Things like heart attacks, strokes, cancer etc. are all very scary things indeed but most are preventable with the right diet, lifestyle and exercise. (Plus the gym can be an awesome place to scope out smokin’ chicks! Ask C.C. DeVille!)

10. Favorite bands: Well above and beyond all I am an Alice Cooper fan, both the pre-1975 Alice Cooper Group and Alice’s subsequent solo material. And one of the first metal bands I dug when I was a kid was Sabbath, both Ozzy- and Dio-era. Those guys paved the road for everything deemed both “heavy” and “metal” which followed. As a teenager in the mid-80s I was into just about everything that was metal / hard rock. One day in early ’87 I was listening to Z-Rock (remember them?!) and I heard this song called “Do Or Die” by some band called the Killer Dwarfs. I thought it was as good a tune, or better, than alot of the “major” bands were putting out at that time. I bought their album and LOVED it! From that day on, they were MY band. Everyone has a band they call their own, and the Dwarfs were mine. Sure, I got picked on in school for wearing a Killer Dwarfs t-shirt (“what the fuck kind of name is that for a band? LET’S GET HIM!!!”) but I dug their album Stand Tall – still one of my favorites, and I called into Z-Rock once when they were doing an in-studio interview and got to talk to them on the air. Now, nearly 14 years later, I run their website. Laugh if you will; personally, it’s an honor. Plus they pay me real good!!! Other metal/rock bands I dig: Maiden, Pretty Maids, Saxon, Black ‘N Blue, and a band from the Czech Republic called “Kabat” that no one outside of their country has ever heard of. Some newer metal/rock bands I’m into include Marvelous3 and Mars Electric (both of which I heard about through Metal-Sludge), plus Russ Dwarf’s new band Penny Black (I’ll keep any eye out for my check, Russty… U.S. funds only). Non-metal bands: the Dutch band “Golden Earring”, and of course, Mandy Moore.

11. Least Favorite bands: I hate to name names, but the first metal/rock band I ever saw live was Poison, opening for Quiet Riot on the QRIII tour in ’86. Now, realize I was like 14 at the time and really dug Quiet Riot but, being from Indiana, had never heard of Poison. So they come out on the stage with more glam and glitz and makeup than on the cover of “Look What The Cat Dragged In” and my friends and I were like, what the fuck? We honestly thought they were transvestites. Makeup was one thing, but it looked caked-on and gnarly and really was too much for me. Plus musically I thought they sucked. Sorry to say that. Rikki is certainly well-versed and seems like a genuinely nice guy, plus being down with Sludge and all. (Sorry, man!) Poison definitely came into their own years later, and I appreciate them for their place in rock history, but I never totally got into them based solely on that first experience. Another band that I’d wish would just shut the fuck up is U2. Musically, they’re great, but the fact that they come over here and spout out about our government, particularly when they narrow it to state and local politics, it just burns me. Don’t they have enough problems in Ireland?

12. When not reading Metal Sludge, I can mostly be found: Right here in front of the computer, working on my websites, and in some of the seedier alt.binaries.* newsgroups. But I do get out here and there! I just went to Toronto where I met for the first time in person Darrell “Dwarf” Millar (now in Laidlaw) and here and there I make it out of the house to the watering holes to check out the local bands. And you can bet I’ll be at the big Warrant show on December 14th! I’ll bring some smokes just for Jani.

13. When was the last time you got laid?
Not sure, but towards the end of August I declared an vow of celibacy until Jason Hook does 20 Questions with Metal-Sludge. I see that he’s finally sent it in. Hurry the fuck up and post it! Can’t you guys bump it up a few weeks?! I’M ON EDGE HERE! In the meantime, I keep my sanity by browsing through the photo gallery at mandymoore.com with a box of tissues and some good hand-cream.

14. What were you thinking when you paid $152.50 for a Blowtorch CD on Ebay??
That’s an easy one! I couldn’t think of a better way to spend the $100 cash prize I was rewarded after winning the Metal-Sludge Scavenger Hunt! And I had a few bucks left over from pimping out my 14-year old girlfriend… Speaking of which, if you’re ever in Valpo…

15. How do you feel about winning Sludgeaholic Of The Month for December 2000?
I seriously cannot think of any greater honor! Don’t tell my mom though…

16. Personal Motto: Ahem… “There are old knights, and there are bold knights, but there are no old bold knights.” (NOTE: must be said in a posh & plummy British accent like Hugh Grant’s!)

Oh yeah, buy Russ’ new album!!! http://www.pennyblack.net/

Let’s congratulate Jim Bob for his accomplishment! Also, here’s a photo of Jim Bob and some buddies!


Russ Dwarf, Jim Bob, and Darrell Millar

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