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Sludgeaholic Of The Month – September 2002, Tony The Toker

 

SLUDGEAHOLIC OF THE MONTH

Tony The Toker

No, it’s not Tony The Tiger, it’s Tony The Toker! Of course, that’s not a bong Tony is holding, it’s scented candle he’s smelling. Duh.

Tony hosts his own video music show in Portland and he takes to the air wearing our Metal Sludge Barbed Wire shirt!

Congratulations to Tony for being our September 2002 Sludgeaholic Of The Month!!

1. Where are you from and how old are you?
Born in Portland, Oregon. I’m 20 years old.

2. Ambitions: I’m trying to finish my business degree, and maybe get some work as a voice-actor. Career goals aside, I still haven’t been able to nail 2 chicks at once, so any girls with loose morals in the Pacific Northwest should email their pictures to me for consideration at TellTheToker@aol.com

3. Turn-ons: Wild Turkey (don’t get that 80-proof bullshit, either. It’s 101 all they way) Nailing cheerleaders in my bed while listening to “Raining Blood.” Lap dances, tight asses, going down on women that are “bald”, and sodomy.

4. Turn-offs: Hairy bitches. Girls that outweigh me.

5. How long have you been coming to Metal Sludge?
“Lonewolf” Bryan Bennett first told me about the Sludge in August of 2001. The first 20 questions I read was with Snake Sabo, and I’ve been coming back frequently ever since.

6. Favorite bands: Anthrax, Pantera, Slayer, Guns N’ Roses, Skid Row, Judas Priest (old and new), Megadeth, Morbid Angel, Tesla.

7. Least favorite bands: Anything they play on 101 KUFO in Portland (the local shit radio station) Creed, Disturbed, Puddle of Mudd, Linkin Park,Godsmack, Staind. My show is the only refuge for the metal-heads in the Portland/Vancouver area!!! (Thursday nights on channel 11 at 11pm. Friday nights on channel 21 at 7:30pm)

8. What do you do for a living?
I’m a part-time supervisor for a well-known package delivery company. Also go to school full time. I’m also looking for some chicks to make porn videos with.

9. You sent us a tape of you hosting a music video show called Smokin’ Videos. How many people do you think actually watch your show? Are you trying to be the next Iann Robinson or something?
Dude, a lot of people watch my show! I get recognized all the time at the sperm bank. I also get quite a bit of hate mail, which I enjoy reading very much.

I have respect for Iann Robinson since he’s the only metal guy left at MTV, but I’d rather be introducing actual videos than doing some bullshit story about Fred Durst on MTV News.

10. We’re guessing you have a habit of smoking little green leafs since your name is Tony The Toker. How many times a day do you indulge your habit?
I probably smoke less than your average pothead, 1 or 2 times a day. But the weed in Oregon is really potent, so you don’t need to take bong hits ALL day long. I don’t smoke dirt weed like you probably find in Indiana. I only smoke dank green BUDS.

11. Is it safe to say our site is a lot funnier when you’re stoned?
I laugh hard at most of the shit on here either way, but I almost spilled my bong water when I saw the Jani Lane “then and now” photo comparison. He looks like a young “Playboy” Buddy Rose!

12. 5 CDs I can’t live without:
Slayer “South of Heaven”
Judas Priest “Jugulator”
Skid Row “Slave to the Grind”
Anthrax “Sound Of White Noise”
Pantera “Far Beyond Driven”

13. If you could smoke a fatty with any of our Sludgettes Of The Month, who would you pick?
August 2002- Tina Lu all the way!! I can handle an older woman. If she wasn’t down to get high, I’m certain I could think of a few other “activities” to partake in.

14. When was the last time you got laid?
What time is it now? Sludgeaholics are supposed to get “mad amounts of play from the female population”, right?

15. How does it feel being our Sludgeaholic Of The Month for September 2002?
You know how it feels when you take a piss after you bust a nut? It’s pretty close to that.

16. Personal motto: “Load it up, Fire it up”

Congratulations to Tony The Toker for being our September 2002 Sludgeaholic Of The Month!

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