David Lee Roth says VH reunion is inevitable!

Q: Howard Stern had a pretty risque format, to put it mildly. How much do you think your show will resemble his?

A: "Not at all. I’m not even remotely close to Stern. I’m not a humorist; I’m not a comic; I’m not a comedian. My sense of humor has teeth — that makes me perfect for the inner city. Just like you, I’m a (expletive) cynic. You’ll never get tired of listening to me speak your mind."

Q: So you won’t be going just for laughs.

A: "The difference between me and a comedian, I don’t try — comedians are desperate for the funny. With me, you either get it or you didn’t."

Q: It sounds like you have a plan of how you want things to go, but not a schedule, or a format, true?

A: "It will be completely my way and not resemble anything that’s ever been on the radio. What other voice can ingratiate and infuriate the liberal arch left — of which I am a card-carrying member — and the NASCAR nation — of which I am a card-carrying member?"

Q: Not to get too off-topic, but is it true that you’ve been working as an emergency medical technician in New York?

A: "I got my badge about year and a half ago, and I’ve worked in all five boroughs, mainly at night. I speak fluent Spanish, so I am often sent where that is an asset. I’ve seen this city from the inside out. How many other DJs do you know have delivered a baby? I’m on my fourth."

Q: What are you hoping to do with the radio show?

A: "Every fourth week, we’re going to up and move wherever — whether it’s the Grammys or the Superbowl — all the bastions of sin and degradation."

Q: Including Pittsburgh, of course.

A: "Absolutely. I am going to visit everywhere we play on the air. It’s a performance, after all."

Q: Your, um, unique background will serve you well on the radio, then?

A: "It’s curious what qualifies both Stern and myself to do the same job. He’s a family man who has spent the last 20 years in a small little studio and did quite well. I’ve spent the last 30 years leading a life of crime and international intrigue, so perhaps I’m overqualified."

Q: Will you be wearing those cheekless pants on the air? And, how will we know?

A: "Let’s face it, I look better in (cheekless) chaps than Al Franken ever (expletive) would."

Q: And what do you think will keep people tuning in every morning?

A: "I’ll tell people this: it’ll give them a good reason to slap a little bourbon in their coffee. You’ll get a bottomless cup of attitude, and the second one’s free."