Metal Sludge The Power and the Glory
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20 QUESTIONS WITH…
Ralph Saenz |
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You didn’t think we said David Lee Roth, did you? Fuck no, it’s David Lee Ralph, also known as Ralph Saenz, former lead singer of L.A. Guns (and who isn’t!). Ralph is in the Van Halen cover band Atomic Punks, which is the best and most well known Dave era VH tribute band. Ralph sent back our questions and said, “Hey dude cool questions except for calling my wife a piece of ass, That was not cool.” We asked him if he ever got caught cheating on his piece of ass wife (Question #8). Hey that’s a compliment coming from us! But Ralph said he did get caught cheating though! He got busted cheating on his wife, yet if we call her a piece of ass, that isn’t cool. And cheating is? We can never win! Anyways, here’s Ralph’s interview in all it’s splendor. 1. What are you currently up to? (This is the only chance to plug your shit, such as CDs, websites, etc.)
RALPH SAYS: Going to extensive therapy to figure out who I really am. Dave or Ralph 2. Where you on drugs when you left L.A. Guns after a year to pursue a solo record, especially on the day the new L.A. Guns EP was released? And how is your Big Solo career going? RALPH SAYS: I was on many drugs. I think if I would of stayed we would have sold maybe 30 more records and I could of had my gas and power shut off. It was a tuff choice. Nobody wants a david lee wanna be on thier label. 3. If you could be a tampon for any celebrity, who would it be?
RALPH SAYS: David lee Roth 4. Did you ever consider changing your name to David Lee Ralph?
RALPH SAYS: Yes but David would’nt let me.
5. What current hard rock/heavy metal band should give it up and call it a day?
RALPH SAYS: None of them. 6. If you died, went to hell, and were forced to front either The Liberators, The Vow or Love/Hate, which would you choose?
RALPH SAYS: None of them  7. Is there any old Van Halen song that you think sucks?
RALPH SAYS: Intruder 8. Did you ever get busted cheating on your piece of ass wife?
RALPH SAYS: Yes 9. Would you stand at the end of your parents bed and watch them have sex until completion for $25,000 and a hit of crack?
RALPH SAYS: Absolutly not 10. Did you ever meet Dave, Sammy or Gary?
RALPH SAYS: I met Gary at a show. Really cool guy 11. What rock star deserves the biggest smack in the mouth?
RALPH SAYS: Courtney Love 12. Have you ever been arrested, and if so, what for?
RALPH SAYS: No not yet 13. Please predict who you think the next singer of L.A. Guns will be?
RALPH SAYS: Phil Lewis  14. Who?s a better business man, you or Steve Riley?
RALPH SAYS: Steve Riley 15. Why did you wear that faggy Miami t-shirt on your first few L.A. Guns tours?
RALPH SAYS: I thought it looked cool 16. What singer sings out of key the most?
RALPH SAYS: Me 17. Why don?t you go bald and be just like Dave?
RALPH SAYS: I am Dave 18. How big is your dick and do you shave your ball bag?
RALPH SAYS: 6″ to the left/Yes 19. If we were to steal your wallet, what would we find?
RALPH SAYS: I dont have a wallet. 
20. Word Association: David Lee Roth / God Gary Cherone / Flowers Sammy Hagar / Tequila Tracii Guns / Jack Daniels Jizzy Pearl / Strippers Johnny Crypt / Colors Dana Strum / Star Maker Jenna Jameson / Clairol Bart Walsh / Howard Stern O.J. Simpson / Hertz Rent a Knife Even though Ralph didn’t plug his site, here’s the address to the Atomic Punks website. The Punks also have a disco CD coming out of Van Halen tunes. We have no idea when it’s coming out, so if your interested, check out his site Atomic Punks Website
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