METAL SLUDGE REWIND WITH…

Pretty Boy Paul Gargano!

Standing next to Val from Pist.On

Metal Edge Editor Paul Gargano returns to Metal Sludge with his highly anticipated Rewind! Ok, we don’t know if this is really highly anticipated, but it sounds goods. We last talked to Paul on September 1st, 1999, where he also won our 1st Super Balls Award. He also sent us a bunch of pictures this time, so we had to put a lot less effort into this than his 20 Questions.

In this month’s issue of Metal Edge, Paul even listed us in his year in review and plugged this Rewind, so that was very cool. To show our appreciation for that, we asked Paul a bunch of questions that put him on the spot and might result in him burning some bridges!

Also, be sure to read Question 21 where Paul has a good story about Creed.

Enjoy!

1. What are you up to now? Down to, actually… About 200, since hitting the gym with some sense of regularity. 2. Do you mind if we refer to you as Paul Garaganzo from now on? Not at all, I can take a joke… Even though it’s not a good one. Then again, what else should we expect from Moongoose McQueer. Why didn’t you ask him about his fetish that had him fired from his job at Ronaldo McDonaldos when you did your 20 Questions with him? I’ll bet his favorite actor is the kid who played Short Round in Temple of Doom.

Paul & Moongoose McQueer

3. Why is Gerri Miller still doing the news for the Metal Edge website? Can’t you get ANYBODY else do that?

I can get 101 people to do that, but it’s not my job. The magazine is my responsibility, and the website is the responsibility of whomever is currently the Online Editor. It’s run by a different company than the magazine, but we do work together, obviously. To clarify, though, Gerri doesn’t run the website, she contributes to it. If she ran it, I’m sure she would have made it a point to be at the Online Launch Party in Vegas back in August. I’ll be the first person in the world to talk shit when someone deserves it, but in the case of the website, Gerri does a good job there–If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

4. Have you noticed a huge increase in sales since the Metal Is Jericho column debuted?

You know, I never stopped to do the math on that one… Sales have been phenomenal from his third column onward, and I’ve been thinking it was because the quality of the magazine had improved so dramatically. Maybe you’re on to something, though, and it’s all because of him… Thanks for slapping me to my senses, now I’ll stop trying so hard!

5. Rate the following Cds on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 being a shitty ass record & 10 being a classic.

Papa Roach “Infest” = 6

Samantha 7 = 3

Disturbed “The Sickness” = 9

Motley Crue “New Tattoo” = 4

Fozzy = 10

Black Label Society “Stronger Than Death” = 8

Kittie = 7

Megadeth “Risk” = 4

Lit “Place In The Sun” = 6

Poison “Flesh & Blood” = 5

Limp Bizkit “Chocolate Starfish & Hot Dog Flavored Water” = 8

No Doubt “Return Of Saturn” = 6

Alice Cooper “Brutal Planet” = 6

Warrant “Latest & Greatest” = Honestly, I never listened to it… I bought all their albums the first time around, so I didn’t need to.

Van Halen “1984” = 7

Jesse Camp & Paul

6. In your opinion, do you think people who listen to Poison were also fans of Skid Row? Is there that much of a difference? In my opinion, they are predominantly the same fanbase, yes. BUT, I do think Skid Row made every effort to change that with their second and third records. Unfortunately for them, it was too hard to shake the image of their “18 and Life” and “I Remember You” success that stereotyped them with the more glam-minded bands (not that their look did a lot to help, either)

7. What are some of the bands you would like to right about but really don’t fit into Metal Edge?

You mean write, not right, right? I love U2, and their new album is amazing, but they’re SOOO not Metal Edge material. Along with Bono and Co., Billy Joel and the Police are also long-time favorites of mine that our readers wouldn’t be too receptive to… I’d really like to see No Doubt get more recognition, and would also love to interview Prince. The obvious answer is, “So freelance,” but who’s got time? I’m too busy trying to rid the world of Creed via informing the masses of music that really rocks…

8. It’s been over a year since we last talked to you, so how are sales going? Are they better than when Gerri was running the show?

Sales have been high for the past year, yes… Are they better than when Gerri was running the show?? If you’re reffering to the ’80s, no, but the music scene’s not the same, and that’s like comparing apples and oranges. If you’re referring to the time immediately before she quit, then yes, we are doing better. Due to the increased sales, we’re currently enhancing the magazine to give something back to the readers: We doubled the poster size in the issue currently on the streets, and we’re adding 24 pages next month… We wouldn’t be spending the money needed to do that, if we weren’t making it on the sales end.

9. Recently, the Rockin’ Roundup has had answers from a lot of unknown artists. What’s up with that? Do you think anybody really cares what the guys from Lab Animals or God Dethroned have to say? Who? I don’t even know who they are… Roundup works this way: We send the questions to publicists, managers, etc. and they distribute the questions to their bands. Some bands are not included because they don’t choose to answer the questions. Other bands, who we may not even cover for whatever reasons, elect to answer the questions because they want to be in the mag. For the same reason I won’t discriminate against bands that DON’T answer them by not covering them in the mag, I’ll give the bands that want to answer them their line or two. Why not? If you don’t care what they have to say, don’t read it….

Paul with Gen & Racci from the Genertortures, Edsel, Preston and Tripp from Dope

10. You enjoyed this last time, so rate the following chicks on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 being a sloppy mess and 10 being a hottie.

Donna D’Errico = 7

Jenna Jameson = 7

Chyna = 5 (she looks a lot less scary in person than she does as a wrestler)

Mandy Moore = 6

Jennifer Lopez = 3

Rebecca Romijn-Stamos = 8

Faith Hill = 9

Christina Aquilera = 6

Carmen Electra = 5

Heather Locklear = 9

Mariah Carey = 3

11. You’re Mr. Metal Edge Editor, so you should know…is Dave back in Van Halen and what do you think about that? Will it work?

God only knows… I heard he was, yes, but that was months ago, and who the hell knows anymore? Personally, I think it’s the only way Van Halen will ever be huge again, so I think they should just bury the hatchet already and get on with it… I won’t believe they’re back together till the tour starts and the shows happen…

Paul at close as he’s going to get to Gene Simmons standing next to The Demon

12. How come we’ve never seen your royal ass in a fancy ass Poison style Metal Sludge shirt yet? Please explain? Don’t be offended, I don’t where Metal Edge shirts, either… NOTE TO PAUL: It’s ‘wear’ not ‘where’. We pointed that out because you pointed out our right/write brain fart.Actually, I’m just waiting for the perfect place to wear it, where the ugly-ass, lime green-colored logo will offend as few people’s fashion sense as possible. See, if I wear it too much, Jani Bon Neil’s autograph will fade in the wash, and I can’t have that! 13. Who decides on what albums to review? Have you ever gotten an album that really sucked, so you gave it to somebody else to review so maybe the review wouldn’t be so bad? I decide what albums get reviewed, and yes, I’ve often come across some that I hated, so I’d pass them on to someone else in hopes that they hate it less (Creed, for one, but the guy who reviewed it hated it more than I did, go figure). Then there are the ones that I review even though I hate them (Crazy Town…), and the ones I expect to hate, but actually like (Limp Bizkit). If you’ve noticed that I haven’t been writing as many lately, it’s not because I hate everything, but because I freelance them all out so I’m not stuck with three last-minute reviews to write while I’m trying to tie up the loose ends of each issue late in the production cycle…

14. Chris Jericho frequently calls you a pantywaist and says you can’t keep up with him and his Canadian friends. How do you answer such harsh criticism?

He’s Canadian, need I say more? He’s clearly got an inferiority complex because he’s not from America, so he has to criticize everything great about our country. And yes, my ability to drink has been recognized as something great… To Chris and his Canadian rubes, I have but one question: When the going got tough, who’s idea was it to start chanting, “DON’T CALL THE COPS, DON’T CALL THE COPS!” That’s right… If it weren’t for me, a paddywagon full of Moosehead-drinking drunks would still be squatting in the corner of the Canadian pokey! You see, Jericho’s criticisms are nothing more than the latest attempt by Canada to try and cover up the Great White North’s inadequacies as a nation…

15. Which do you prefer:

Limp Bizkit or Kid Rock = Kid Rock–Believe it or not, he’s a lot easier to deal with, and doesn’t have an over-inflated rock star ego like Bizkit

Tool or A Perfect Circle = A Perfect Circle–They make a lot more sense to me

Slipknot or Sevendust = Sevendust–Slipknot have proven to be one of the hardest bands in the world to deal with professionally. That may change in the future, but it hasn’t yet…

Moongoose McQueen or Chris Jericho = Chris Jericho–He’s a lot more humble than that arrogant bastard Moongoose McQueer

Disturbed or Kittie = I love them both the same. I’d have to say that I prefer Disturbed musically, but Kittie are like my sisters, so it’s a toss-up…

Warrant or Enuff Z Nuff = Warrant. Nothing against Enuff Z Nuff, of course, but I’m a bigger fan of Warrant’s musically.

Britney or Christina = Hanson, they actually write their own music.

Phil Anselmo or Rob Halford = Phil Anselmo. Though Rob’s a lot easier to deal with.

Lars Ulrich or Nikki Sixx = Nikki Sixx, though I agree with Lars regarding Napster.

Marvelous 3 or Southgang = Marvelous 3, especially since I’ve never heard Southgang!

NOTE TO PAUL: Please ask Cheryl Hoahing who Southgang is. She’ll know.

Iced Earth or Manowar = Iced Earth. Even though they don’t wear furry boots.

16. Can you honestly tell us that Kittie doesn’t suck live? Yes. Kittie don’t suck live. They’re teenagers for Christ’s sake, quit expecting them to be as tight as Dream Theater. Fact of the matter is, they’ve gotten better and better with every show, and are a completely different band than they were the first time I saw them (when, yes, they weren’t much to listen to). 17. When you were on VH-1’s The List, did Bobbie Brown blow you or anything like that? No… I think she got mad at me for reminding everyone that she was married to Jani Lane when they showed the “Cherry Pie” video. Not that I ever had a chance to begin with, but I’m a guy, I need to be able to blame something other than the obvious (that being that I’m a big dork who couldn’t spell suave if you put the shampoo bottle in front of me)

Blue Meanie and Paul

18. How many more Kiss specials is Gerri going to shit out?

Beats the hell out of me… But am I the only one that pissed myself laughing when Ace wouldn’t take part in the last one??? I offered to buy him a drink for all his troubles when I saw him at the Alice Cooper show on Halloween, but I don’t think he knew (or cared, for that matter) who I was… No big loss, though, at least he talked to me when I needed his interview for our cover story.

19. How often does Metal Sludge get mentioned during your weekly dealings with various bands, labels, co-workers, photographers, publicists, etc…?

Ummm… Next question… (that’s a polite way of saying never…)

20. People want to know what you are thinking since you are a very influential person. What are you opinions on the following:

Skid Row recording a new album with Johnny Solinger?

If the new material I heard on the opening night of their solo tour was any indication, I think it’s about time we hear something new from that band, and it should be worth the wait…

All those Cleopatra Tribute CDs that are coming out?

I know quite a few people who make a nice chunk of change recording their tracks for those albums, so I’m glad there’s some good coming from them…

Motley touring with a chick drummer?

GO SAM!!! I’m all for it, I’m just sorry I missed the show…

Metallica suing Napster?

GO METALLICA!!! Napster, the way it was originally established, is stealing, plain and simple. Check out my November 2000 Ed’s Page for further details…

Ratt touring with only 2 original members left?

I’ve yet to see them, but I’ve heard from more than a few people that Jizzy is amazing, so I’ll be there if they ever make it to New York…

Sebitchian doing Broadway?

Sebastian didn’t “do” Broadway, he raped, pillaged and conquered Broadway. Way to go Baz, you’re a metal god!

Kiss still touring?

They do, because they can, so I can’t say I blame them… That doesn’t mean I have to go to every show, though

Rikki Rockett doing an advice column for Metal Sludge?

I liked the idea, until he didn’t answer that question I sent him about the rash I got when I stayed on the Poison tour bus that night…

Boy bands all over MTV?

It’s better than hip-hop… And as far as bands whining because their audience is listening to boy bands, that’s not the case–New Kids were around a decade ago, and that didn’t hurt hard rock. We just need more good bands, instead of all this homogenized shit that sounds the same. Let the boy bands be boy bands, they’re not hurting anybody, and Christ knows we don’t need 12 year olds listening to Limp Bizkit.

Tommy Lee going rap?

I stand behind my review last year–I like the record. I also liked the show the one time I saw him live… He does it well, so I don’t have a problem with it. He also didn’t jump a bandwagon, so I’m not going to whine about it, he’d been doing it since Planet Boom.

21. Over the last year or so, how many artists get pissed at you for what you write? Have you been in shit with anybody and if so, who and for what?

I’m sure a lot of people have gotten pissed at me for something, they just haven’t said anything… I had a run in with Creed, but that wasn’t over a review. It’s a story the Sludgeaholics need to know, though, and I’ll tell it here… About three years ago, Metal Edge ran a Creed cover, and I interviewed Scott Stapp for it. As much as I don’t like the band, it was a great interview, and we talked for more than an hour… Throughout the course of the interview, he said fuck about a half-dozen times, and I didn’t edit them out. That’s what gives the interview personality, right? Right. Problem is, he’s PRETENDING he doesn’t have a personality, and that he’s some holy roller following in Christ’s footsteps. So about two months after the cover runs, he does a national radio interview and someone calls in and tells him how upset they were by his cussing in Metal Edge. So what does the hypocritical, lying sack of Stapp do? Rather than admit he swore, he gets all self-righteous and accuses Metal Edge of making up the entire interview, telling all his fans that they shouldn’t buy and support Metal Edge because we make up our interviews. I didn’t hear about this till I got a few pieces of mail from Creed fans who got all indignant and said, “Scott said you made up the interview, so I’m not buying the magazine anymore.” Obvously, I called the record label’s publicist (who had invited me to both the band’s platinum AND double-platinum parties to thank me for my support of them) and asked her what the hell was up. She said she’d get to the bottom of it, and called me back after talking to management. Seeing as I had a copy of the interview on tape (EVERY interview I do is on tape, and I don’t erase any of them), she said that if I got a copy of the tape to her, so management could here him swear (he insisted he didn’t, to them), they’d issue a retraction… I did so, and never heard from them again… So, regardless of whether Scott Stapp confused us with Hit Parader or Circus (who do make up their interviews) or not, the fact of the matter is, he wasn’t man enough to admit that he said fuck during an interview, and that’s just weak. The next time’s Scott’s climbing on his persecuted cross and whining about all the evil in the world, maybe he remember that “Thou Shalt Not Lie” is a Commandment, as well. There’s nothing in the world I hate more than a hypocrite, and he’s the biggest out there right now. Which is a shame, because as much as I don’t like their music, I actually liked HIM after doing that interview with him. Then he had to puss out and show his true colors…

Paul’s family gets together for Christmas

22. Time for Metal Sludge’s Word Association. You know how this works. Fred Durst = Runt of the litter, done good Edsel Dope = A great guy, and one of the hardest working musicians I know Zakk Wylde = BREWTALITY! Slipknot = hemerhoids… Jizzy Pearl = Is your dog pottytrained yet? Ratt = More drama than prime time FOX programming Carson Daly = I don’t get it… Rikki Rockett = Metal Sludge’s answer to Dr. Joyce Brothers… Chris Jericho = Sticks and stones may break my bones, but his calling me a pantywaist will never hurt me… His headlock, on the other hand… Nikki Sixx = A legend Eric Brittingham = Have I mentioned what a nice guy Fred Coury is??

23. In the year end issue, you mentioned a band who would only do an interview if you gave them a cover. They thought they were bigger then A Perfect Circle so they should have the cover too. What band where you talking about? Spill the beans.

I didn’t say the BAND thought they were bigger than A Perfect Circle, I said THEIR PUBLICIST thought they were bigger than A Perfect Circle… Welcome to the music industry–You deserve coverage, but now you’re not getting it. Nice, huh? I’m not spillin’ the beans on this one, but trust me, they’re not the only one, it happens all the time…

24. Rate the following rock stars on their bullshit factor. 1 being somebody who is NEVER full of shit, and 10 being somebody who IS always full of shit. Feel free to give an explanation if necessary.

First of all, EVERYONE lies–whether it be wee white lies, or the long elaborate kind–some just do it more than others, and that’s a fact. Another fact, is that the entertainment industry lies more than than almost any other industry (not more than politicians, though). Whether fans want to admit it or not, most of the artists they love and respect AREN’T who they are onstage when they’re home and their guards are down. Fans want liars, plain and simple. If they didn’t, you people wouldn’t be so pissed at Sebastian for what he says, and Creed wouldn’t have sold as many records as they have. If people weren’t scared of the truth, Manson would be bigger than he is right now, and unoffensive pop wouldn’t be crammed down our throats. People want to be placated, not awakened. Lies placate, the truth awakens. Welcome to the entertainment industry, and stop being hypocritical and hating people who tell the truth–even if you think the truth is tacky and tasteless–and embracing people who give lip service like it’s a sexual act… With that said, I really can’t sit here and judge people on how much they lie: They lie as much as they feel like they have to to satisfy whoever they need to satisfy, whether it be their clubfull of fans, or the millions of people who see them on TV… Rather than rank, I just commented…

Marilyn Manson = Probably one of the most honest musicians out there, at least from what I’ve experienced…

Lars Ulrich = I’m behind him 110% on Napster. Have I balked at a few things he’s said? Sure I have, but whatever, it’s rock ‘n’ roll, not brain surgery… What do I care if he says he likes Reload more than Master of Puppets?

David Lee Roth = If there’s one thing Dave doesn’t do, it’s lie. Maybe if he would lie, Van Halen would be back together right now…

Nikki Sixx = Does he sometimes do/say what people might want to see/hear more than what he’d rather do/say? I’m sure, but that’s his job, and that’s why he’s lasted as long as he has…

Scott Stapp = I don’t even know where to start…

Fred Durst = He may be a lot of things, but I don’t think a liar is one of them… If anything, he says too much, too fast, and lets his honesty get completely misinterpreted.

Bret Michaels = OK, so maybe he’s embellished once or twice… Like the shit he wears onstage isn’t an embellishment? He’s who he is because he’s larger than life. He wouldn’t be larger than life if he didn’t embellish every once in a while.

Gerri Miller = I know she’s said a few things about me that aren’t quite true…

Sebastian Bach = Once again, so he’s embellished a few things… Do you want larger than life, or do you want to be Matchbox 20? Nothing against Three Doors Down, but get back to me when they’re on Broadway.

Phil Anselmo = How can you be full of shit when you never say anything??

Dana Strum = Everyone loves to call him a liar, but he’s never lied to me, and that’s all I care about…

25. Do you find it strange that Lonn Friend knows who Jani Bon Neil is but has no clue who Paul Gargano is? Do you think that might be because he’s a Gerri Miller sympathizer?

I don’t think it’s as strange as it is embarrassing–If you’re the editor of the self-proclaimed home of hard rock on the Internet, you might want to pick up the nation’s biggest and best hard rock/heavy metal magazine every once in a while… I’m sure he’s not embarrassed, because he seems too high on himself to even care, but I don’t know him, so that’s based exclusively on reading what he wrote…

Am I offended by it? No. I can say this, though, I’ve been editing magazines and newspapers for a decade now, and I’ve never heard of any music magazine editors earning stock in their magazine over time… You’re paid the money you’re paid to put out the best magazine possible, and that’s that. Incentives are incentives, but why is it the owner of the magazine’s responsibility to make sure you can retire when you quit his/her company?? Gerri wasn’t fired, she chose to quit, and considering the money she made over the past 15 years, it shouldn’t be the owner of the magazine’s job to make sure she never has to work again, just as it wasn’t Larry Flynt’s job to make sure Lonn was financially well to do for the rest of his existence… I guess the moral of the story is, we all get screwed, so it should be our own responsibility to make sure there’s vaseline there when it happens…

Paul, Dope and Bridget The Midget

On a personal note, I read RIP as a kid, and have to agree with Lonn, it went downhill after he left. But before he starts criticizing Sterling McFadden (our parent company) for what Gerri’s recollections are of what happened when she quit, he should be responsible enough to seek the truth. Do your homework if you’re going to criticize people, and more than anything else, trust your instincts. If they’ve been right for a decade, chances are they still are, no matter how hard your heartstrings are tugged at…

After reading the answer to Questions 21, that explains Paul dislike for Creed! We knew they sucked, but we didn’t realize they were lying bastards as well. We’ll have to keep our eye on those guys… which means Paul better dust off that “ugly-ass, lime green-colored logo” of ours for his Editor’s Column photo.

Even though he’s always defending Sebitchian and he’s now trying to look like Mark McGrath, we thank Paul for all his support and putting his ass on the line by putting us in the magazine! You truly deserve the Super Balls Award you won last year.

Metal Edge’s website can be found at www.metaledgemag.com. Tell Gerri we said hi.