3-WIND WITH….

Poison Drummer Rikki Rockett

We first did 20 Questions with Rikki on March 27, 1999. Then we did his rewind on April 20, 2000. Of course there are the Tour Diaries he did for us and the Dr. Rockett column, plus he hosted our 3rd Metal Sludge Extravaganza with Kendra Jade. But that wasn’t enough for our greedy asses! We wanted a 3-Wind out of him too and that’s what we got. We asked Rikki 32 Questions, which are the most questions we’ve ever asked anybody, or at least had anybody willingly answer! There’s an accomplishment Rikki can be proud of! Who needs platinum albums when you can have that? Dr. Rockett even returns in this 3-Wind to answer a question. Enjoy!

1. What are you up to?

Well, obviously we just finished the Poison “Hollyweird” tour. I am preparing for my art show, “Senseless Acts Of Kustom Kulture” for November and yes, I am actually finally going to release “Glitter 4 Your Soul”. Would ya ever have thunk it?

2. Reports have it that Poison isn’t going to be touring next Summer, and that the 2004 Summer tour will be a farewell tour. What’s the story with that and the current status of Poison?

We figure we can be like Kiss and The Who and have like 5 Farewell tours. Actually, besides Poison being rock’s most dysfunctional touring family and how volatile that makes us, we plan on being around for awhile. Much to the dismay of many. We love each other like incestuous brethren only without the sex.

3. Why hasn’t Bret done 20 Questions with us? What’s the delay?

Why hasn’t Steven Tyler? Ya know, Mick Jagger asked me about that as well the other day. Mick also told me never to name drop.

4. What made you decide to paint toilet seats during this tour and do you think people are entertained by that instead of the typical tour diary?

It’s really neato! I just think it’s a really flashy way to snazz up the hotels. No, I think people do actually want a regular tour diary. But, I need to save some material for the book that may or may not ever see the light of day. However, SPIN magazine thought it was pretty neat too and did an article. So, in some way, I have arrived. Doo Doo-ism!

5. Please tell our wonderful audience the following about Poison’s Summer Tour production:

How many crew members does Poison have total = 27

How many buses & trucks and who shares what = Not counting the other bands, 3-buses, 6-trucks, As for buses, Bret and I on one with a couple crew folks, Bobby and C.C. on another with some crew folk and the production bus with everyone else.

How many snare drums do you bring = Just 3 I need room to collect.

How many guitars does C.C. bring = 5 or 6

How many hats and bandannas does Bret bring = About 5 hats and about 20 bandannas. I’ve borrowed two of the bandannas.

How many passes do you give the opening bands each night = Like 20 or so, I think. Whatever they need, really.

How many people have you fired or hired this year = Just 2 fired so far. But the one we relocated to another job.

How many autographs did C.C. sell so far this year = None, he won’t even do them for money these days. He thinks it’s too self-indulgent. That CC is so deep sometimes.

How many people has Big John bitched slapped so far = 6 or so.

Which bunk is yours on the tour bus so Donna knows which one to crawl into = Last bunk on the right in the middle. That is unless I fall asleep in the back lounge watching “I Dismember Mama” or something educational like that.

6. In your opinion, what 80s band should have had more success than they had?

Bananarama (Riveting music)

7. Hypothetical question: You’re in a city with nothing to do. Bobby knocks on your door and says he wants to go go-carting. What do you do?

A: Say, “Let’s go” and hope that Bobby doesn’t crash this time and the tour gets canceled.

B: Tell Bobby you’d rather stay in, paint toilets, and talk shit about C.C.

C: Play Jenga with the road crew, log onto Metal Sludge and whack off to our Sludgettes.

D: Slap Bobby and remind him what happened last year and tell him to stay away from the go-carts.

A. I say roll the dice!

8. Do you think C.C. has met his match with Josie Pearl? They both are short, slender, loud, annoying, bleach blond, quick to comment, loud, flashy, attractive (okay, just Josie there), and did we mention loud. Who is more likely to win in a full blown argument?

C.C.’s match is not Josie, it’s her dog. It barks 24-7 and it’s ass has the accuracy of a wire guided missile! The dog hides cat turds under C.C.’s pillow too! Now that is a commitment to mischief! Let’s see one of these new angry bands do that on tour!

9. If Poison could take out any current rock bands, who would you like to take out and why?

Since they all sound the same, I say any of them. See, nothing has changed since the 80’s.

10. What do you remember about recording or writing the following songs:

Rock Like A Rocker = Bad rehearsal hall, hot day. A product of our environment.#1 Bad Boy = It’s all about Bobby. The cops handcuffed him to a chair and beat his ass for cursing in a hospital while children were present.Look What The Cat Dragged In = Hangover song. Obvious stuff.Look But You Can’t Touch = It’s about some chick who thought she was Cleopatra or something.Back To The Rockin Horse = Missing your childhood when being grown up becomes a bit too much.Face The Hangman = Don?t remember much about that one.

Come Hell Or High Water = Oddly enough, when we sent 20,000 C.D.s to the troops in Saudi, it’s what the Marine Corps infantry had blasting out of their tanks when they stormed in after the first air strike. Cool stuff!The Scream = Written about the riots in L.A. after the Rodney King verdict.Power To The People = It’s about how the record industry is losing control over how their so-called demographics depict the real story about what people actually want to support artistically these days. Holy fuck, what an answer!Rock Star = Fun song about how the average person might see what what being a rock star is all about.Home = Trick question! Which version?

11. Back in 1986 Poison was opening for Quiet Riot and they even kicked you off the tour at the very end. What happened back then and how did it come to be that they played on last years tour?

We were allowed in the building when we were onstage and that was it. We had to get dressed and undressed in our Winnebego. (Talk about restrictions!) No before and no after show. However, Frankie Banali would bring us beer every night anyway because he felt bad for us being treated like that. Kevin was a dick back then. I think Kevin is a different and better person now. To hold a grudge never makes you a better person. (Damn! I’m gettin’ serious on ya, huh?)

12. When we do “Rate-A-Drummer” with other drummers, a lot of times you get somewhat of a low score. Why do you think that is and how do you feel about that?

I honestly don’t care about impressing people that don’t impress me. Impressed with that answer?

13. In the last year the music world has lost several musicians to various deaths. What is your take on these people and how did they affect or influence Rikki Rockett?

Robbin Crosby = Robbin was big cheerleader for Poison and was responsible for Poison being on the first Ratt tour. I’ll miss him. He was a wonderful guy and slammin’ guitar player.

Randy Castillo = Super guy. Very tragic.

Dee Dee Ramone = Major Rock ‘N’ Roll cultural influence. The rock world is a lonely place without the Ramones.

Bianca Halstead = The salt of the earth. The queen of bass. I miss her very much.Layne Staley = Intense guy. Creative guy. I was very sad to hear this.

14. Okay Richard, here is your math question. Please give us your answer and please explain how you got it. Let’s say the the Hollyweird tour does 75 dates total. In every other city starting with day one you paint a toilet seat. Somewhere along the line you paint an extra 3 seats, one each for Cinderella, Winger & Faster Pussycats tour busses.

And then in Los Angeles you paint 10 more so C.C. can go sell them up at Citywalk.

How many toilet seats in all does Rikki paint during the Hollyweird tour?

A. 48

B. 50

C. 51

D. 54

E. 57

A. Since I only paint on off days, 30 days off, plus 10 for C.C. and 3 for the opening bands.

15. Yes or no, has Rikki Rockett ever:

Wondered what exactly R.V.’s purpose was = Yes, but don’t call him pimp!

Regretted a tattoo = Just that one tattoo on my dick of my dick but only bigger. It kinda looks fake.

Seen Bret’s fake teeth fall out on stage = Nope. He faces the audience so all I see is his ass and there hasn’t been any teeth comin’ out of there so far, thank God!

Had Bobby Dall serve you a hotdog = Yes, I have. Back when I ate such things.

Had any plastic surgery = Not yet. I probably should, though.

Thought Beautiful Creatures have a chance of going Gold = I thought they were gold.

Had sex with the model on the cover of “Hollyweird” = She told me that I could say yes.

Seen the Bret & Pamela sex tape = Yes, Bret used one of my cameras.

Been drunk while answering a Dr. Rockett question = I don’t think so. Well, maybe.

Had sexual thoughts about Intern Lori = Hell, yeah!

16. Is it really necessary for Bret to show off his abs in every single photo?

Yes, it is.

17. True or false. Mr. Rockett, isn’t it true that the idea for C.C. to walk around with a sandwich board last year was YOUR idea?

No, it wasn’t. However, if he would’nt have, where would C.C. Banana’s career be? It proves that Poison provides so many opportunities for emerging artists.

18. The Last of Rikki Rockett:

Last city you painted a toilet seat = Here

Last movie you saw = Fast Times for the 110th time. I?m easily amused.

Last animal you rescued = Big John

Last time you did cocaine = I’m doing it now.

Last time you ate meat = 1992

Last lie you told = The sandwich board lie.

Last time you talked to Matt Smith = About 6 years ago

Last person that accused you of running Metal Sludge = Everyone does! I do run it! Are you surprised? I actually ask myself 3 -Wind questions and stuff.

Last time you went skateboarding = Probably five years ago. I snowboard now. We?ll see what I can break doing that.

Last time you had to use the martial arts in a real life situation = Everyday. It’s a way of life, man.

19. Of all the musicians who’ve talked shit about Poison over the years, which person first comes to mind that you would like to get in the Octagon? I’m in the Octagon all the time because they all talk shit. That is what Rock musicians do, they talk shit. Cats chase mice, rock people talk shit. That is their job. I’ll give you an example: “Jesse James Dupree ripped off the chain saw thing from Wendy O’ Williams”. See what I mean? Now, the thing is, rock journalists REALLY talk shit. … and Sludge, well, it’s unprecedented! 20. How many times did Bret & C.C. butt heads last Summer? 16 or 17 times.

Rikki shows Big John how it’s done

22. C.C.’s not shy about airing his problems with the band to anybody who’ll listen. How do you guys feel about him being so vocal?

It’s like living in the city, you get used to the sound of traffic after awhile. In fact, you know those sound machines for sleeping? Well, I made one with CC bitching because I simply can’t sleep without hearing him yelling all night. Maybe Sludge could market it for me? “Fall deeply into sleep with the CC DeVille Scream Machine!” Like it?

23. You’re working on a book. Providing it’s not like “Glitter For Your Soul” and actually comes out, are we going to be thanked in the book, or are we going to be blown off like a fat chick again?

First off, what makes you think I blow off fat chicks? Thank you for what? Being my cross to bear? I was just able to get my mother to talk to me again and here I am fucking up and doing a 3 wind!

Rikki tries out his new drum set

24. Are you happy with Poison’s sales for “Hollyweird”? Of course not. Anything less than Michael Jackson’s Thriller sucks. I?m a Capitalist, plain and simple. 25. How do you honestly think Metal Sludge has affected the the 80s rock industry? Profoundly! You should do a book. Provided you do and it actually comes out, will you thank me or blow me off like a thin chick?

26. Rikki’s Random Thoughts:

The Osbournes = Good Christian family. Learn from them!

Creed = I gave at the office.

No more MTV X = Waaah!

Donna’s Ho Board = Donna is a wonderful young lady. The Sludge Chat Board saves lives. It?s not supposed to, but it does. The quality of life improves with every visit. After 9/11, the folks who frequent there really went into action putting positivity back into the world.

The state of rock radio today = It’s one reason the internet is getting so popular.

Bands the have “The” in their name and end with “s” such as The Vines, The Strokes, The Hives, etc. = Oh, well, it’s a trendy thing, what can ya say? Hey, at least these bands

are rock bands and that is a good thing these days.

Don Dokken coming out during Warrant’s set because they ran overtime = Crazy ‘ol Donny! He was supposed to be nude and wear a sock.

27. On average, how long did it take for you guys to write the lyrics for the new album?

A: 30 seconds per song

B: 1 minute per song

C: 5 minutes for the whole album

D: It’s C.C.’s fault

We never did finish.

28. If Bret comes up with some lyrics that you think could be better, do you tell him or do you just keep your mouth shut and collect your paycheck?

I keep my mouth shut and collect my paycheck. He keeps his mouth shut when he doesn’t like a drum part I come up with. Come on! This is dysfunction and it works for the Rolling Stones just fine and it damn well works for Poison!

29. Have you ever been told by Bret or perhaps management that you probably shouldn’t associate with us? Have you ever gotten any drama for that?

Bret is Metal Sludge, that is why he hasn’t done a 20 questions. So, no, he doesn’t mind.

30. Why is it that “Look What The Cat Dragged In” sounds more produced than “Hollyweird?”

Because it is. Just like the “White Stripes”. Trendy, aren’t we?

31. Metal Sludge Word Association. You know how it goes.

Sum 41 = Sounds like a submarine sandwich franchise. But I like it!

Butch Walker = Don’t know the guy.

Jizzy Pearl = Great fuckin’ voice.

Rob Jones = The grand poobah of internet radio

Chris Jericho = One tough mofo

Scott Ian = Serial killer (I like that! Refreshing.)

Kid Rock = Never did become a cowboy.

Donnie Vie = Peace, Love and jogging with a joint.

“Wild” Mick Brown = What the fuck is so “Wild” about “Wild” Mick Brown? It’s not like he ever O.D.ed or anything cool like that.

Paul Gargano = Metal Edge (Well, that?s what I think of!)

Josie Pearl = Boobies and Italian food.

Kendra Jade = Oatmeal. Ask her sometime.

Ken Shamrock = The King of the Octagon.

Howard Stern = The lesbo ringmaster.

32. For old times sake, one question for Dr. Rockett:

To whom it may concern:

I am interested in pursuing music as a career. However, there’s one aspect of it that I’m unsure about. Judging by all the stuff they say on Metal Sludge, it seems like pretty much every rock star gets caught up in the “rock and roll lifestyle,” which would include promiscuous sex, drugs and heavy drinking. I don’t want to get caught up in all that, because I know how those things can destroy a person’s life, but as I said before, it appears that a good portion of the rock stars end up that way. My question is: Do you think it’s possible to become a “rock star,” but not get caught up in the debauchery?

Dear Ian,

No, Ian, it isn’t. Think of yourself as a drug sandwich board. Drugs make for bad complexions and bad posture. This is essential in rock and roll. Just remember, you are special just like everyone else. Make sure you have good hair too.

So, no, you really can’t. I say get on with the promiscuous sex, drugs and heavy drinking. Then, recover and tell VH-1 about it. That is if you sell any records. Oh, yeah, one last thing… Don’t forget to make some great music and entertain people. The press will forget about that stuff for you, make sure you don’t.

 

Thanks to Rikki for all his support over the years and for asking himself these questions. That’s a joke by the way.

 

For more info on Rikki and his latest happenings, you can visit www.metal-sludge.com. If that’s not good enough for you, then visit www.RikkiRockett.com and www.PoisonWeb.com. And since Bret is Metal Sludge, be sure to visit his wonderful site at www.BretMichaels.com!