Metal Sludge The Power and the Glory
PUSSY LIST – JUAN CROUCIER
Shit like this pisses us off.
RULE #1: If you are an “ex-rock star” who has nothing going on, and you email us wanting to do 20 Questions, then you have no excuse not to do 20 Questions!
On September 27, 2001, ex-Ratt bass player Juan Croucier emailed us and wrote:
I’ll do the 20. Make them good.
Juan
So on October 18th, we got around to sending out Juan his questions.
A week and a half later we followed that up to see if Juan got his questions, and on October 30th he wrote:
Hey,
Thanks, for your E-mail. I’ve been super busy, I have worked on them but have a few more questions to go so, I hope to have them to you by the end of this week or the beginning of next week. Sorry, about the delay. I’m not trying to stall you guys or anything like that, I just haven’t had the time to answer all the questions yet.
Thanks for your patience,
Juan
At that point, we had no problem with waiting. There was no rush. He said he’d have the questions to us within a week or so, and that was fine.
However, that week went by and we got nothing.
The next week went by…nothing.
Another week went by….again, nothing.
We wanted to put his questions at the end of November, so we emailed him a few times and got no response.
We’ve since emailed him a couple of more times in December and we haven’t heard shit from him, and now his website isn’t even up!
This is exactly why Juan Croucier hasn’t done shit with his new band. He’s too fucking stupid. When people like Dave Mustaine, Alice Cooper, Ted Nugent, and Nikki Sixx can get us our questions back within a week or so, there is no fucking excuse for somebody like Juan Croucier to take over 2 months to send back 20 Questions. What the fuck does he do all day? Right now, Ted Nugent is out in the swamps trying to kill whatever he can, but he still found time to answer our questions. Dave Mustaine and Alice Cooper were both touring at the time they did their 20 Questions, and they still sent their shit in. I think all those guys are a little bit more busy than Juan Croucier. And what does Juan Croucier do everyday? He probably wakes up at noon and watches old Ratt videos so he can remember what it was like to actually play in front of more than 12 people.
Fuck, the guy came to us, asked for an interview, and then never did it. Way to take advantage of the exposure we were willing to give your afro’d ass! Back to obscurity for you.
These are the questions Juan was too stupid to answer.
1. What are you currently up to? This is your only chance to plug your projects.
2. Why didn?t you rejoin Ratt?
3. Have you thought about changing the name of your band Liquid Sunday to RATT featuring Juan Croucier so that you can start up the 3rd Ratt band that is currently touring?
4. What hard rock/heavy metal band should give it up and call it a day?
5. Rate the following bass players on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 being somebody who sucks and 10 being a bass god.
Robbie Crane =
Bobby Dall =
Jerry Dixon =
Nikki Sixx =
Jeff Pilson =
Gene Simmons =
Chip Z?Nuff =
Dana Strum =
Rudy Sarzo =
Kip Winger =
6. Stephen Pearcy recently said the following about you in a USA Today interview, ?What he’s doing now, which is disgusting, is trying to get credibility because of Robbin’s illness (trying to do a tribute, etc.). He’s never visited Robbin. I don’t need grief. Juan needs to do what he always does — be an opportunist. End of story. I think what he’s trying to do is terrible. I have a tribute album planned, but not because of someone’s illness. Go figure. Look at the record. We wrote good songs together which’ll pay some of his bills, but to discredit someone who was in the band before him is disgusting.? What do you have to say about that?
7. You’ve been running a recording studio and producing bands. Care to give us any studio or production hints and please name your huge credentials to date?
8. Any truth the reason Ratt keeps Robbie Crane in their line up instead of you is because he can attract a female crowd?
9. Who do you think is the most overrated band today and why?
10. Rate the following the Ratt records on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 being an album that sucks and 10 being a classic.
Ratt EP =
Out Of The Cellar =
Invasion Of Your Privacy =
Dancing Undercover =
Reach For The Sky =
Detonator =
Collage =
Ratt (1999) =
11. What is your goal for Liquid Sunday? It?s not to actually get a record deal is it?
12. Rikki Rockett has stated his distain for you. So did Tracii Guns and a few others. Why all player hating?
13. What do you remember about the following years?
1976 =
1980 =
1984 =
1988 =
1992 =
1996 =
2000 =
14. What rock star deserves a smack in the mouth and why?
15. Yes or no, has Juan Croucier ever:
Had more than 25 people pay to see Liquid Sunday =
Actually enjoyed Metal Sludge =
Had a finger in your ass =
Talked to Bobby Blotzer within the last year =
Listened to a Ratt CD within the last 3 months =
Had a threesome which included a chick and another guy =
Done smack with Nikki Sixx =
Used Robbie Crane?s name in vain =
Stolen a hubcap =
Rode in a car trunk =
Sold oranges on the side of the road =
16. Do you think Blotzer & Warren got Robbie Crane to play bass in Ratt was because he?s got a ?South Of The Border? vibe and they?re trying to fool the public?
17. Do you really think people find 3 piece bands entertaining, especially when 2/3rds of the band looks like roadies?
18. Is your afro natural or do you get perms regularly?
19. What goes through your mind when you are on stage and you look out and see 10 people looking back at you?
20. Time for Metal Sludge’s Word Association. We mention a name and you give us your thoughts.
Bobby Blotzer =
Jizzy Pearl =
Marq Torien =
David Lee Roth =
Don Dokken =
Warren DeMartini =
Rikki Rockett =
Paul Gargano =
Gerri Miller =
Stephen Pearcy =
Robbin Crosby =
Oh yea, be sure to come back on January 1st for 20 Questions with Ratt’s real bass player, Robbie Crane!
