20 Questions with Kevin Gale, 1/11/05

 

20 QUESTIONS WITH…

former Slik Toxik guitarist KEVIN GALE!

For years, we’ve been bombarded night and day by e-mail asking us, “Whatever happened to Kevin Gale, that guitar player guy from Slik Toxik?” Perhaps the fact that his name appears on Donna Anderson’s World Famous Penis Chart spawned the curiosity of many, or, possibly, our 20 Questions with former Slik Toxik singer Nicholas Walsh incited some interest. Or maybe there really are more closet Slik Toxik fans out there than one could ever imagine. Whatever the case, we always aim to please, so we set out to find Kevin Gale and hit him up for 20 Questions.

Turns out that Kevin is currently playing in some kind of band with another former 20 Questions victim, Killer Dwarfs drummer Darrell “Dwarf” Millar. Darrell helped hook us up with Kevin and even found some photos for us to use! So here they are, the much-anticipated 20 Questions with the one and only Kevin Gale. Enjoy!

1. What are you currently up to? This is your one and only chance to plug whatever it is you want to plug.

Right now I?m currently playing in a band called Automan.ca with Darrell Dwarf Millar of Killer Dwarfs fame. Check out the website at www.Automan.ca. Our first show was at the 360 club in Toronto on Dec.9th.

2. OK, let’s get right to the point. We’ve heard lots of scattered rumors about former Slik Toxik bassist Pat Howarth getting blind drunk and smashing a limo at the 1994 Juno Awards aftershow party. Word has it that your label wasn’t very happy with you guys, and so they took steps to part ways with the band after that limo incident. Tell us in your own words what happened, and do you think that one event was the beginning of the end for Slik Toxik?

The funny thing was I wasn?t even there. I was at home in bed sick with the flu. All I know is that I wake up the next morning and I get a call from Nicks brother saying ? have you see the news yet?? and I say no- then silence. He then says turn on Much Music, and lo and behold there?s Pat in the back of a Police car trying to kick out the windows. I?m like, ?what happened??. To make a long story short-boys and girls don?t drink and take drugs mixed with anti depressants, it makes you do stupid things like steal a perfectly good limo, take it for a ride up Yonge street, crash right into a pole almost killing the person who is sleeping in the back. It wasn?t one of our greater moments as a band, but it gave great inspiration for our 2nd record?.Here?s what NOT to do!

3.Speaking of Pat Howarth, we also heard that, after having been convicted of two counts of forging medical prescriptions and two counts of failure to appear in court, Pat appeared before an Ontario judge at a sentence hearing on October 22, 2004. The judge ended up suspending his sentence on the grounds that Pat?s intentions of going on the straight and narrow were valid. Dude. Seriously, how much of a fuckup is Pat, and do you for one second believe that he?s really going to straighten himself out this time?

I really hope so, for Pat?s sake. He is a really good guy and from what I understand he?s opening up a Wheel Trans driving school for the Blind in Thunder Bay.

Slik Toxik, 1990

4. Rate the following Canadian guitarists on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 being a hosehead and 10 being someone who brings home the back bacon:

Alex Lifeson = 10, RUSH?.?nuff said.
Rik Emmet = 6
Jason Hook = 7, the stuff I?ve heard is pretty good
Larry Gillstrom = 8, the beginning riff from Welcome to the Club, smokes ass
Aldo Nova = 10, just for the solo in Fantasy alone
Paul Dean = 8, Turn Me Loose, muthafucka!
Phil X = 10, super speedy quick
Mike Dwarf = 15, and that?s just how old his girlfriend is! (Luv ya Bro)
Dave Brownsound = 8, go Ajax
Rob Bruce = 10, haven?t heard him in a while, but back in the day?

5. Original Slik Toxik bass player Dave Mercel was replaced by Pat Howarth in the late 80s, yet Mercel continued to work with the band as lyricist. Did Dave not cut the mustard as a bassist, or did you guys give him the boot ’cause he didn’t have the limo driving capabilities required to play bass in Slik Toxik?

Dave was never given the boot, but his limo driving skills were exceptional. Dave and his evil twin brother Ramon De Neige are torturing children and little people at Winter Festivals in Quebec.

6. What hard rock/heavy metal band should give it up and call it a day?

Axl Rose and his plastic surgery nightmare?. scares the bejeesus outta me!

7. For years, you’ve been listed on Donna Anderson’s World-Famous Penis Chart, where it states that you “generally will last a few minutes during intercourse.” Well, if you didn?t already know, there are a few techniques that ?quick shooters? can use to stem the tide. The most popular approach is to think about something completely unrelated to sex or to the person you’re fucking (e.g., thinking about baseball). So now we’re compelled to ask: which of the following mental images is most likely to keep you from blowing your wad too fast?

A) The thought of Brian Vollmer in traditional Zulu tribal garb, stirring up a giant cauldron of New England clam chowder and making low, groaning sounds as he stares unblinkingly at you;
B) The thought of Darrell Millar in an adult-sized pink bunny suit, chewing up hard boiled eggs and spitting them out onto your back while he smacks your ass with a glow-in-the-dark drumstick;
C) The thought of Pat Howarth in a limo driver’s uniform, repeatedly punching you in the balls while he hums the ?Hockey Night in Canada? theme song;
- or -
D) The thought of Chris Jericho wearing a pink feather boa, grasping the skin from your nutsack with a pair of pliers, then stretching it until it tears open, exposing your testicles as they dangle down to your knees.

Which mental image will it be, Zipster?

I?ve SEEN Darrell in a pink bunny suit, and quite frankly it turns me on?. smacking my ass to the rhythmic pounding beat of Dirty Weapons?. OHHHHH YEAHHHHHHHH!?? ok, I?m back.

Slik Toxik, 1991

8. Do you think the constant comparisons of Nicholas Walsh’s voice to that of Sebastian Bach’s hurt Slik Toxik in any way? And if Nick had attacked people in the audience during performances and thrown fits during interviews, do you think you guys might’ve achieved a bit more success and notoriety?

One time Nick was getting interviewed and we were compared to Poison. Nick hung it out and whapped the interviewer smack in the face with his cock. Then another time, I had to bodily restrain Nick from leaping haphazardly into the audience to pummel some poor defenseless wheelchair bound grandma for hurling her girdle at him. If that doesn?t sound like a Sebastian hissy fit, then I don?t what does!

9. Of the following, which do you prefer and why:

Labatt’s or Molson = Molson, I AM Canadian, eh!
Saga or Honeymoon Suite = Saga
SCTV or Kids in the Hall = SCTV
Kitchener or Scarborough = Scarberia, go Vic Park!
Tim Horton’s or Dunkin’ Donuts = Timmies, it?s a Canadian Institution
The Montreal Canadiens or the Ottawa Sens = Neither, Leafs all the way, GET BACK TO WORK YOU MUTHFUCKAS!
Dave Thomas or Rick Moranis = KoolookookookookookooKOOO! Take off ya Hoser.
The Gasworks or Rock & Roll Heaven = Heaven, cuz we closed the joint.
Blow jobs or rim jobs = mmmm?.tough call, I?ll take the Beej.
Solus or Revolver = both bands kick arse

10. Many moons ago, Slik Toxik opened for Spinal Tap. Surely you’ve had some Spinal Tap moments yourself. Every band has! Please tell us a story about something fucked up that happened while you were out on the road (and that limo story doesn?t count).

When I was really young, I was doing a solo and I jumped and pulled the cable right outta my guitar. I then said to the audience, ?Sorry. I fucked up.?

11. What ?rock star? deserves a smack in the mouth and why?

Sebastian Bach of course. Dude, do the Sludge interview?.don?t be such a suck ass whiny bitch. You are a kickass singer, stop taking yourself so seriously. I need the money, so Im gonna wear my Sludge shirt and get a pix taken with you, ok?

12. Rate the following Canadian chicks on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 being a bucket of moose droppings, and 10 being worthy of a royal mount.

Neve Campbell = 7, Party of Five rocked.
Shania Twain = I?ll say 10 if her husband produces Automan.ca ?s next record!
Alanis Morrisette = Long hair or short?
Lee Aaron = Back in the day, 10!! Still looks good!!
Shannon Tweed = Kick ass older woman, 10
Sass Jordan = Eeeeek, am I gonna be on Canadian Idol??
Pamela Anderson = 8, strictly for the floatation devices. The kinda chick I?d like to sit beside should my plane go down in the middle of the ocean!
That singer chick from Kittie = ??
Avril Lavigne = 10, for a young?un.
Celine Dion = 1? Canada?s most impressive looking Drag Queen! Ohhhlaaalaaa ET phone home!

13. For what amount was your biggest music-related check, and what did you end up doing with the cash?

$5,000?. uh, spent it, idiots!

14. Yes or No, has Kevin Gale ever:

Freebased cocaine = Yes
Spiked someone’s cocktail = Yes
Eaten a goose egg omelet = No
Gone over Niagara Falls in a barrel = No
Pissed in a beer bottle = Yes?ever driven nonstop from Toronto to Thunder Bay?
Shit in a flowerpot = Not recently
Jizzed on a bandmate = Only when asked
Jacked off with maple syrup = oooooooo, Mrs. Butterworth?s?. mmmmmm Mapley goodness.
Prank called Rob Bruce = Yes
Nailed a pregnant chick = Yes

Slik Toxik, 1992

15. What hard rock/heavy metal band should give it up and call it a day?

Are you guys from the Redundency Department of the Redundency Department? Or is this the beginning stages of Alzheimer?s? You guys can hide your own Easter eggs.

(Note: We were just seeing if Kevin was paying attention. It’s good to keep some of these 20 Questions victims on their toes. Otherwise, they get all cocky, and who needs that?)

16. Out of all the bands that Slik Toxik played or toured with, which ones were the coolest to work with, and which ones were the biggest bunch of jackasses you’ve ever met?

Coolest: Killer Dwarfs
Assjacks: Black Sabbath with Ronnie James Dio

17. How do you pay the bills?

With money.

18. Which would you rather have happen (and you have to pick one):

A) You are kidnapped by a maniacal gang of glue-sniffing homosexual Eskimos, who drug you and drive you all the way up to the territory of Nunavut. They drag you into an igloo and perform some kind of ritual gang bang, repeatedly sodomizing you for hours upon hours as the drugs render you helpless and unable to move. After undergoing days of brutal anal torture, they put you on an ice floe and set you adrift in the Hudson Bay. Barely conscious, you float around for hours before finally being rescued by the coast guard. After being treated for hypothermia and a ruptured colon in a makeshift arctic hospital, you eventually return home, emotionally scarred for life but physically OK;
- OR -
B) Pat Howarth is framed for murder and sentenced to life in prison. Unable to prove his innocence, he serves out 5 years of his sentence before other inmatess wrongly peg him as a jailhouse snitch, who end up fatally stabbing him in the neck with a broken mop handle.

Which will it be?

A?. my friend Unaaq Qaayuq says Ass Carping is fuuuun.

19. The Last of Kevin Gale:

Last book you read = The DaVinci Code
Last strip club you visited = Can?t remember
Last concert you watched from the audience = Evanessence
Last cover band you jammed with = Mason Dickson
Last fast food drive-thru you hit = Mickey D?s
Last time you got into a fistfight = Don?t remember
Last time you threw up from drinking = November 16th, 1996
Last time you visited the USA = A long time ago
Last time you rode in a limo = Also a long time ago
Last time you talked to Pat Howarth = A long time ago? redundancy of the redundancy department.

Kevin (on left) with Automan.ca, December 2004

20. Time for Metal Sludge?s Word Association! We mention a name, and you give us your thoughts.

Geddy Lee = Kick ass bass player
Alice Cooper = Lookit the size of his snake!
Greg Godovitz = Carpet Frogs
Brent Fitz = Great guy, and drummer!! Canuck!! ?..
Adam Headland = Great bass player
Gene Simmons = Oy vey iz mir! Mazel Tov Dude. Shalom.
Neal Busby = Fits Twoonies up his nose
Tommy Lee = Great drummer
Nicholas Walsh = Talented vocalist and songwriter
Sebastian Bach = Do the Sludge interview Bitch!

Well, there’s this week’s 20 Questions! All your burning questions about Kevin Gale have now been answered.

Thanks to Darrell Dwarf Millar and former Slik Toxik singer Nicholas Walsh for helping us find pictures of Kevin, because you know what? There really aren’t a lot of Kevin Gale pictures out there on the Web. Go figure.

For more information about Kevin’s current project, visit Automan.ca’s Web site at, guess where? www.Automan.ca