20 Questions With Dan Dryden, 7/17/01

 

20 QUESTIONS WITH…

Stuck Mojo/Fozzy/Sick Speed Bass Player Dan Dryden

This week we are talking to Dan Dryden, who is a big time Sludgeaholic. Dan played bass in Stuck Mojo, he’s in Fozzy, and he’s also in a band called Sick Speed. Dan has a good sense of humor and put some effort into this. In fact, Dan gave us the longest answer in Metal Sludge History for Question #12. It’s almost longer than one of Rikki Rockett’s Tour Diaries, so pack a lunch before you read that shit.

Enjoy!

1. Who are you?
Allow myself to introduce….myself…I’m Dan Dryden, bassist/vocalist for Sick Speed and Stuck Mojo. Occasionally I dress up in tight pants, call myself Shawn “Sports” Pop and play bass for metal legends FOZZY with my Sick Speed bandmates and Y2J from the WWF.

Stuck Mojo has a B-sides compilation CD coming out in the late summer. Mojo is on hold indefinately while Rich, Bud and myself concentrate on our new band, Sick Speed. You can sample and/or order Sick Speed’s 14 song demo by visiting our cool new website. www.sickspeed.net

2. How long have you been coming to Metal Sludge?
Moongoose McQueen introduced me to Metal Sludge last October around the time the Fozzy CD came out. I currently have a two to three hits a day habit.

3. Does Chris Jericho allow you to speak directly to him or do you have to go through his agent first?
I talked to him once. He was taking a dump in the dressing room at The Hard Rock Cafe in Orlando when he realized he had no anus paper. He ordered me to fetch him some shit tickets. When I handed him the wipe, he said “thank you”. His agent who was preparing to wipe his ass gave me the nod, so I told him that he was welcome.

4. What hard rock/heavy metal band should give it up and call it a day?
For their own good, Staind. They’re a great band, they write hit songs, they have platinum albums, but they just can’t find happiness. Personally, selling millions of albums would perk me up pretty good.

5. Rate the following bass players on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 being somebody who sucks and 10 being somebody who rules.
Nikki Sixx = Sixx Actually, he’s probably better than that.
Bobby Dall = 5 I once saw a cover band guy fuck up the little 5 note bass lick in “Every Rose Has It’s Thorn”! He gets a negative 10!
Rex = 10 Rex is the shit! He’s got a great feel for the instrument.
Jerry Dixon = 5 Played a few funk licks on Cherry Pie. JERRY DIE! I’m just kidding, I’m sure he’s a nice fella. On halloween in 1992 I wore these big ass obnoxious eyebrows and told people I was Jerry Dixon from Warrant.
Fieldy = 10 Innovator of toe touch metal. Inspired many kids to get in touch with their inner homie.
Gene Simmons = 10 My hero! Gene’s underrated as a player.
Billy Sheehan = 10 He almost loses points for all the crazy shit he can do, but the guy can really play bass well.
Steve Harris = 10 Very distinctive style.
Mike Inez = 9 Very solid, gets all the good gigs!
Shawn “Sports” Pop = 10 I read in a Moongoose McQueen interview that “Sports” turned down the Metallica gig. That’s understandable, he’s in FOZZY! Since “Sports” is not available, the Metallica fellas need to focus their attention on the next best thing…..ME!

6. You guys all seem kind of well built. Who’s on steroids and what supplements do you use?
Steroids? I’m flattered, thank you very much!

7. Are you happy with how Fozzy was handled and will Fozzy ever release another CD?
The record company assumed the CD would sell itself so they didn’t promote it properly. They figured that every wrestling fan would automatically buy the thing. The problem is, very few people know that the CD exists! When Fozzy was getting all of that attention from the WWF, the record company should have capitalized on it by running a bunch of ads so that people understood there is a legit CD that goes along with the bogus story. They didn’t buy one spot! People thought the Fozzy movie that aired on Mtv was just another show.

We’ve learned to mellow out a bit on the “Moongoose isn’t Jericho” thing because people are just too easy to fool. Most Fozzy fan e-mail looks like this: FOZZY RULES! I SAW YOU GUYS ON HEAT THE OTHER NIGHT. HEY, WHAT’S UP WITH THE GUY WHO LOOKS LIKE Y2J? ARE THEY BROTHERS OR SOMETHING? People are stoooopid!!!

Fozzy just played The Norva in Norfolk, VA. the other week, and we plan on doing more shows soon. There will be another Fozzy CD released on a different label. It’s gonna be called, “Number Two”. Visit www.fozzyrock.com for all the poop on Fozzy.

8. What’s so special about your bass tone and what bass player has the lamest tone?
Ya know how some dudes like the smell of their own farts? I’m that dude! I’m just a huge mark for my own tone. It’s the combination of my picking style, my Dean Markley strings and my one of a kind Jackson bass. Aside from my Ampeg 8×10 cabinets, my rig is a total piece of shit. I can still produce a tone better than most!

Who’s got a shitty tone? Billy Sheehan (Like he gives a shit what I think!)

9. Of all the bands Stuck Mojo played with, who treated you guys the worst?
We did a Halloween show two years ago in Memphis. Some local band called Saliva was opening for us. This was before they were signed, but they had a buzz and a huge following. We should have been opening for them. One of our dipshit crew guys ordered the Saliva guys to get their shit off of OUR stage. This didn’t go over very well with them. Bonz tried to apologize to them, but I think they wanted to be mad at us. Sure enough, they had a great show and half the crowd left after their set. They weren’t actually pricks to us directly, we could just hear them down the hall getting drunk and yelling about bullshit. I can’t blame them for being mad, our guy started it. For the most part, Stuck Mojo didn’t have problems with anyone because of the respect we always gave to everyone. This Saliva thing was an isolated incident. I congratulate them on their current success.

10. Rate the following chicks on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 being a mess and 10 being a hottie.
Chyna = 7
Britney Spears = 8
Marge Simpson = 6 1/2
Donna D’Errico = 7
Lil Kim = 5
Princess Leia = 5
Jennifer Aniston = 8
Carmen Electra = 8
Lita = 7
Stephanie McMahon = 7

11. A clerk in the butcher shop is 5′ 10” tall. What does he weigh?
Hmmmm….several kilos?

12. Tell us your tour story about Alaska and don’t leave anything out.
I apologize in advance for the length of this reply. It actually could’ve been much longer.

It was my new cover band’s first road trip. We drove from Minneapolis to Prince Rupert Canada, 60 HOURS non-stop! We got on a ferry boat for a day which brought us to the island town of Sitka, Alaska. We were supposed to play the Kiksadi Club in Sitka for 10 weeks straight, go to Kenai for 6 weeks, then go to Ketchican for 6 more weeks. We thought it would be a great chance for the band to get tight. We were retarded. Since then I have been cured of my retardivity. Anyway, we set up our gear as best we could in the tiny little hell hole. They made our sound and light guys set up pretty much behind the stage right P.A. speakers. We were forced to learn Mony Mony. The owner of this dump was named Frankie. Frankie is a big bitch. Little woman, big bitch! The band house was above the bar. It was always wet and nasty in there. It was home for the next 10 weeks. We ate frozen burritos, Lipton butt noodles and peanut butter, washing it down with all the free Rainier beer we could drink. It rained constantly. There were no, I repeat, no hot chicks there. Frankie’s drunk ass daughter-in-law attempted to bang everyone. The word on the street was that she banged everyone in the previous band all in the same night. We had to play four 45 minute sets with 15 minute breaks Tuesday through Thursday, and five sets on Friday and Saturday. Every Sunday was mandatory “ANY STUPID DRUNK ASS MOTHERFUCKER THAT WANTS TO ABUSE THE BAND’S GEAR COME ON UP AND GO FOR IT” night. Monday was our day off so we would hang out in our no cable havin’ mildewy stinkin’ piece of shit band house and wonder if it will ever stop raining. One night while on a break, some dumbshit local pushed me into a few tables for no reason. Like Jani Lane, I Saw Red. I calmly set my drink down, walked over to the guy and knocked him out. After he fell flat on his back, I got over him and popped him again. I looked up and saw the entire bar running at me. This huge ass dude named Chopper (who happened to be the unconscious guy’s brother) fell to the floor after I ducked from his swing at me from across the room. I ran to the kitchen area to escape the big drunk dipshits. Legend has it, they call this guy Chopper because he busts peoples’ chops around town ALL THE TIME! I’m quite thankful he didn’t connect. Later he apologized to me because it was explained to him that his bro was starting shit with me. Things were cool for about a week until he came back with another brother. The other brother was very pissed and was eyeballin’ the band the entire time they were there. Chopper promised nothing would happen and that his bro was cool. They eventually left, but came back after the bar was closed. My singer and I were still in the bar having a beer when Chopper and his bro came in, threw the chicken shit bouncer across the room, busted a pool cue in half and came after me. I threw chairs at the bastards and started running. I was able to avoid them until the rest of the band came downstairs. The cops showed up, but they didn’t do anything. The brothers were banned from the bar for a few weeks, but eventually bitchhead Frankie decided it was time that they come back and spend their welfare checks at her piece of shit club. We had one week left when Chopper, both of his brothers and some skanky whore walked in the bar while we were playing. They were plotting my demise. As soon as we finished the last song of the night, and I ran for the backroom. It was Saturday and the place was packed. I had a hard time getting through the crowd with my bass still on. They caught up with me and proceeded to pull my hair and beat me on the back of the head while I was yelling for someone to take my bass out of my hands. While all of this was going on, the skanky ass whore poured coke on our soundboard and lightboard while they were still on. After that helacious night, we decided that we had to get the fuck out of there A.S.A.P. We booked our getaway ferry boat for New Year’s Eve Day, the club’s biggest night of the year. When we tried to load our gear out, Frankie did everything she could to make us miss our boat. She locked us out of the building, then she would lock us inside. She shut the power off and blocked the most convenient exits. We had to call the cops about 10 times before she would cooperate. We finally made it out of there. When we got on board the ferry boat, it all seemed like a bad dream. BUT it wasn’t over yet! Of course we cancelled the other two Alaska gigs due to the 9 1/2 weeks of hell we endured in Sitka. We were going home! The northbound ferry took us to Petersburg AK. where we were going to stay the night, then get on a southbound ferry in the morning. When we got to the dock in the morning with all of our shit, we learned that the biggest ship on the Alaskan Marine Highway came in and destroyed the dock while we were sleeping. The seven of us were stuck in a single motel room in Petersburg for a couple more days. We were broke and miserable. We decided to rent a couple videos, drink, and forget about life for a night. Five of the seven of us were still under 21 years old. The two elders bought us the booze then went to the local pub. We drank and drank until inevitably, a battle royal erupted. Things mellowed out and we went back to watching the video. Someone knocks on the door and of course, it’s the fucking cops! They read us our rights, we get arrested for minor consumption and they walk us down to the cop shop. They book us and set up a court date for the morning. We show up for court hung over and exhausted. We each get fined $50.00. We escape Petersburg later that day, but now we’re stuck on a ferry boat for three days because the boat is headed north to Skagway before they head back south to Prince Rupert. For three days we played cards and ate chili because it was the only thing we could afford. When we get to Prince Rupert, we find that our neglected van is about to die and has no heat. My can of coke froze in minutes before I could drink it. I’m from Minnesota and I’ve never felt cold like the cold in Prince George. This was a very scary time in my life. We had to be in Bozeman, Montana in a couple days, we had no heat in the van, we were headed into the Canadian Rockies and the weatherman is saying that we have a blizzard to look forward to. Somehow we made it to Bozeman. I left out a ton of funny and terrible shit, but I had to wrap this up. Did anybody make it to the end of this story?

13. What rock star deserves a smack in the mouth and why?
The ultimate asshole in metal has got to be Yngwie Malmsteen. He deserves several consecutive smacks in the mouth. Have you ever heard anyone say anything good about the guy? Sure, he is an incredibly talented guitarist, but when I hear his name, I think, “DOUCHEBAG”! What kind of name is Wingnut Valvestem anyway? Err..I mean Yingyang Einstein? …wait….Itchbutt Sportscream? He is a VIKING though, which is cool.

14. Rich Ward seems to run the whole show. Do you have any say so whatsoever in the band or are you just along for the ride?
Over the years I believe I’ve gained alot of respect from Rich by not whining or complaining, by doing my job very well, by exceeding expectations when asked to do something, and for being so damn good looking. Our relationship has evolved considerably in the past three years. Rich knows that I know what I’m doing and he seeks my advice on a regular basis. At the rate I’m going, he’ll be answering to me soon! I’ll make Rich my BITCH!!!

15. Which do you prefer and why?
Sevendust or Jackyl = Definitely Sevendust! I have too many teeth to hang with Jackyl.
Chris Jericho or Moongoose McQueen = Jericho is pretty cool, but I gotta go with Moongoose. Jericho would tell you the same!
Traci Lords or Tracii Guns = Traci Lords scares me! Tracii Guns gets my vote. When I met Mr. Guns in Mpls a few years ago, he told me that I had a “Phat Goat”. I thought to myself, “Yo, dat shit is FROOOT!”
Vince Neil or Vince McMahon = Even though Vince Neil makes me laugh pretty damn hard, Mr. McMahon is much more entertaining.
Dr. Dre or Eminem = Eminem. Why? I dunno.
HHH or Stone Cold = I’ll have to go with Triple H. He’s got Motorhead, Stone Cold’s got Disturbed. Both of those guys are incredible.
3 Doors Down or Creed = 3 Doors Down annoys me! How in the HELL did that musical bridge section in “Loser” make it to the album, then make it to the radio and become a huge ass hit?!?!?!? Creed wins.
Tricep Pushdown or Calf Raises = Pelvic Thrusts
Lex Luger or Sting = Sting is very HULKAMANIAish. Lex is pretty funny and he’s a cool guy as well.
Realistic Vaginas or Butt Plugs = I don’t quite understand the question, but I think Realistic Vaginas is the correct answer.

16. Sick Speed is on it’s 3rd singer in a few years. What’s the problem? Are you guys trying to be like L.A. Guns and go through as many singers as you can?
The previous singers for Sick Speed were very talented, but they just didn’t fit into our live show properly. We now split the vocal parts three ways between myself, Rich and our new guy, Mike Schneider. Mike’s an awesome vocalist/guitarist and a great performer. The band is BAD AS HELL! I’d love to see our previous singer Dale Steele get hooked up with a good band. He’s a good friend of mine and a tremendous talent. Whether you’re L.A. Guns or some other band in need of a great singer, find Dale Steele in Minneapolis and hire him!

17. How big is your dick so Donna Anderson can add it to her dick chart?
I don’t have anything to measure it with right now, but if I stick my head down there and eyeball it, it looks REAL BIG! Give or take a foot.

18. Isn’t it a relief to no longer have a rapper in the band?
I’ve been out to see Bonz’ new band 420 Monks a couple times, and they’re great. Am I relieved he’s not in Sick Speed? Yes, because Sick Speed is a straight ahead rock band, and Bonz doesn’t sing. I’m sure he’s relieved that I’m not in 420 Monks because they’re a rap/hip-hop/funk rock band and I don’t play funky stuff. Stuck Mojo was a rock band with rapper. It was unlike any other “Rap Rock” band out there. The members of Stuck Mojo are currently doing what they would have done if Stuck Mojo never happened.

19. Do you think you’d have more success if you weren’t from Minnesota?
Geography can definitely work against you in this business. I personally love Minnesota, but the rock scene was not very happening when I left there 3 years ago. It wasn’t happening for years while I was still there! Things are changing up there though. 93X is probably the country’s premier rock/metal station, and from what I hear there are several great metal bands floating around the midwest. I think Slipknot proved that if you have everyone focused and working toward a common goal, you can overcome your geographical shortcomings. Any touring band will tell you, the Midwest rocks harder than anywhere else!

20. Time for Metal Sludge’s Word Association. We mention a name and you give us your thoughts.
Chris Jericho = He should give up wrestling and music to become a stand-up comic. Well…maybe not. Being a rock star and a future WWF champ isn’t all that bad.
Lars Ulrich = It would rule to be able to call him my bandmate and/or boss. Hint Hint! Wink Wink! Nudge Nudge!
Fred Durst = I bet the fitted red ball cap manufacturers love him. He’s in a position where he can do no wrong, but I think he probably will.
Butch Walker = He’s a better guitarist than you think he is! Hey Butch, I recently sold a FFR “Creamy” CD on Ebay for $102.50. Got any more?
KISS = I’m the guy who will say, “KISS should probably call it a day”. Then pawn off my testicles to go see them when the 8th leg of the farewell tour comes around. KISS is the shit!
Kid Rock = He went platinum 7 times….and then probably many more times after that. I’ve met his drummer chick a few times. I think she’s Minnesotan as well.
Paul Gargano = Very cool guy and very supportive of Mojo and Fozzy. I still love Metal Edge even though the “News” is usually the “Olds” by the time it hits the stands. It’s hard to compete with the internet.
Bonz = His website may be under construction, but www.420monks.com should be happening shortly. Bonz is my friend and I wish him the best of luck with 420 Monks. I hope we can do some Mojo shows in the future.
Poison = They’re one of the only bands from the 80’s and early 90’s scene that still have some validity. Their shows still draw, and all of the other bands from that era would die for a slot on their annual summer tour. After reading the Poison tour diaries, I think Rikki’s a cool fucker. He tells it like it is!
Rich Ward = Future Rock-n-Roll Hall of Famer…….under my guidance of course!

Now that was cool. A little shit talking, a little humor, and we’re happy.

For more info on Dan’s bands go to www.sickspeed.net or www.fozzyrock.com