20 QUESTIONS WITH…

Warrant Drummer Mike Fasano

Mike Fasano, also known as Sack, Fuckazo, or The Dean Martin Of Rock, has become somewhat legendary here at Metal Sludge.

Actually he hasn’t, but we couldn’t think of anything else to write here.

Fuckazo was one of the many stars of Rikki Rockett’s Tour Diary, participated in our World Famous White Trash Dream Date Contest, and even briefly did a Tour Diary of his own for us. He’s put up with a lot of shit but still managed to be a good sport about it all. So enjoy our 20 Questions with Mike Fasano!

1. What are you up to? This is your only chance to plug your projects, websites, and shit like that.
Well, right now my head’s spinning because of the Glam Slam Metal Jam being canceled over Bobby Dall’s injury. I hope he gets well soon, we all do. We’re all a little in amazement having been out since Memorial Day weekend, finding out that our concert tour has been cut short. Funny thing about it is that we’re all looking at each other thinking, “The tour’s cancelled, but it wasn’t OUR fault!” Ha ha.

As for me, currently what’s happening is that we’re all headed back to L.A. to pick up the pieces, we plan on working on a record with spot dates here and there, and hopefully touring in the fall. Now that I’m home, I’m going to work more on my website totalposer.com. That’s my official site, whereas you guys, Metal Sludge, are my unofficial website! And don’t forget Warrantweb.net too.

I’m going to be doing some dates with a side band Kitty Litter Disco, and you can find out more at kittylitterdisco.com. And, the vintage drum mafia plans to do some hits with Rocko, aka. Rikki Rockett, my partner in crime. You can also see me as a featured drummer at VicFirth.com this month.

2. How did the White Trash Dream Date go? Did either you or Rikki get any skins off Tina?
Ahh, the “White Trash Dream Date”? Well, it should have been called “Rikki’s ‘I’m going to get chicks to send in pictures so I can pick the hottest one to go out with, and I’ll take Fuckazo along so he can deal with her 3 fat friends’ Date.” Rikki got to hang out with Tina, who is mmm… venereal.

(Lest you get the wrong idea, let me explain our system of rating chicks on the road on a scale of 1 to 10.

1-5 are just one thru five
6 – MMM
7 – Dirty
8 – Filthy
9 – Fecal
10 – Venereal)

So therefore, figure it out. Venereal is very, very good. Back to Tina Lou. Wow. Fuckin,’ she’s hot. When Rocko was making out with her at lunch, I couldn’t help but get a rod under the table. I’m sure they noticed the table rocking a little, but they didn’t say anything. But, all I had to do to come back to reality was to remember that I was there to entertain the 3 fat friends… and the rod went down.

3. Being Matt Sorum’s tech at one time, give us a good Axl Rose story.
Matt Sorum got married and had this beautiful wedding in Malibu, on the beach… sort of Medieval-Times style with renaissance clothing. It was literally five minutes away from Axl’s house, but Axl didn’t go to the wedding.

About a year later I threw a surprise birthday party for Matt at my tiny house in Bore-bank (Burbank.) It was almost 2 hours away from where Axl was living. We did the surprise for Matt, and Ray Parker Jr. was there (odd!) along with a lot of the local celebs, crew and band.

Fasano, Matt Sorum, and Gilby Clarke

Then I get a phonecall at 10:30 saying Axl and his entourage are on their way and need directions to the house. He arrives a little after midnight with a cassette tape of the then-unreleased “The Spaghetti Incident?” album (which, by the way, featured my major-label percussion debut. Enjoy me on the “Hair of the Dog” cover, not to be confused with Warrant’s cover of the same song on “Under the Influence,” available at WarrantWeb.net!) Axl put the tape in the stereo and plays it at the party. Then he gives the tape to me. So, the funny thing is that he didn’t go to Matt’s wedding right in his town, but he drove all the way to my house for a little party. That was a memorable brush with Axl.

Wait, here’s another. Matt was notorious for being late to GNR rehearsal, and one time Axl and I were messing around jamming waiting for him to get there. We recorded a fifteen-minute version of one of Axl’s songs (sorry, I don’t remember what song it was) and by the time Matt arrived, we had finished this demo that Axl was totally stoked about. He loved the drum part I came up with for it.

Since we’re talking about GNR and I have the floor, let me tell a story about Slash too. I was working on the original Slash’s Snakepit, with Gilby Clarke, Matt Sorum, Slash, and Mike Inez – not the lineup with my bro Keri Kelli. Matt, being late AGAIN, wasn’t there to start rehearsal on time.

Slash is jamming a riff and I’m checking drum sounds. I remembered the drum groove they worked on from the night before, so I got behind the kit to jam along. Slash has his leg propped up on the bass drum, the other on the floor – head down, hair hanging in face. Minus the top hat since it’s rehearsal (little insight, kids — he doesn’t always wear the hat!) but it’s a classic Slash pose nonetheless.

He’s jamming away with searing solos. He was ripping so hard he was creating a breeze in the room, totally in his own world. We’re jamming for like a half hour at least. He finally stops and looks up at me and says… “Fuck, man, I thought something was wrong. That’s the worst Matt Sorum impersonation I’ve ever heard!”

So in short, Axl loved my drumming, and Slash thought it was horrible.

4. What hard rock/heavy metal band should give it up and call it a day?
That’s a tough one. Dad’s Porno Mag?

5. Rate the following drummers on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 being somebody who blows goats and 10 being a drum god.
Vikki Foxx = Great hair, second-best looking drummer in rock (Blas Elias is #1.) Tommy Lee Lite. Don’t really know Vikki but have been out on tour with the Enuff Z’Nuff guys who turned me on to their older stuff with Vikki on it. Really cool shit, I’ll give him a 9. I haven’t heard much from him lately though. What up, Vikki?
Bobby Blotzer = I don’t even know what to say. Everyone knows he’s one of my favorite drummers. When I was in high school, in art class I would draw his drum sets! I can’t wait to dig those drawings up and show them to somebody. And when all the shit was going down with Rikki, he was there to support me. I hail him. 10!
Lars Ulrich = Originally I’d give him a 2 because he has 2 bass drums. But lately he’s playing his new signature model chrome Tama snare that looks like a car bumper. It looks really cool but at least it sounds like shit. For that, he gets a 3.
Travis Barker = Blink 182, he’s an 11. This one goes to e-l-e-v-e-n!
Peter Criss = I liked him better when he was called Eric Singer. Who’s who? They both look the same now. Eric gets a 9.
Frankie Banali = Fuckin’ John Bonham on crack! 10-10-10!
Ricky Parent = Hey Ricky, you skinny motherfucker, eat a sandwich! Waist size, 0. Drumming size, 10. But thumb size, 20. Have you seen his thumbs?
Matt Sorum = The big brother I’ve always wanted but never had. 11. And he has a huge cock. We have fucked chicks together in the past (we were roommates, remember?)
Jani Lane = Most people aren’t aware but Lane is an awesome drummer. Not a ton of chops but his feel is amazing. If it wasn’t for Lane I wouldn’t be here. 10.
Rikki Rockett = You fucker for sticking me with the fat chicks. One of the most underrated drummers in rock. Really into drums, vint drums too, he’s a tweaker on his titanium kit, he’s got all the gear. He’s got it all for Poison. 10.

6. You’ve been a studio tech for a lot of bands, such as Blink 182, Marvelous 3, Fleetwood Mac, Guns N Roses, Ratt, Snakepit, etc. Have there been any bands that were really difficult to work with?
You guys forgot to mention my bros from the east bay, Green Day. When I first started talking to Tre Cool, 3 months before we went in to do “Insomniac,” he would call and -speak- to me. He’d speak but not let me talk! Since I’d worked with GNR he was under the impression that I had heavy-metal style hair, or a mullet perhaps. And I kind of felt like I wasn’t really getting to do my “thing,” what I’ve been hired to do, help out, tune, use my knowledge. He was coming from a totally different place — that would be green bud. Totally stoned. He would say “dude it’s like this, I want to have the same heads on the top and bottom of the tom so if I break a head on the top, I can flip it over and use the bottom.” To me I’m thinking using a drum with a broken head isn’t going to sound the same, but it made stoner sense to him. You stoners know what I’m talking about!

We ended up doing things exactly as he wanted in the studio and it worked out great. He’d get his drums the way he wanted them, but they wouldn’t sound quite right and finally he’d relent to let me do my job. Eventually I gained his trust. Tre was difficult at first and very demanding, but that’s why he’s such an awesome drummer. He knows what he wants. Recently he gave me one of his snare drums, which is one of the most prized pieces of my collection. Green Day really doesn’t let anyone in their camp until you prove yourself, and that’s what I had to do.

7. Isn’t it safe to say you make more money being a tech than playing in Warrant?
Listen, of course being in Warrant pays money, but it’s not all about money, it’s about the opportunity to do things like the White Trash Dream Date on the road! Can’t do that in the studio. Sure I make a lot of cash in the studio, but I do just fine with Warrant too. It doesn’t matter, I get to do two things I love. When I’m touring I’m living my dream being on the road, dodging Metal Sludge bullets and having a blast. (You know, Metal Sludge,
you are the thorn in the ass of rock and roll. Let me be the first to point that out. Ha ha.) When I’m home, I go back to working in the studio. I think I’m very lucky to do what I love wherever I’m at.

8. Don’t you think it was gay that the Warrant Street Team cheated on the KNAC poll and when is Warrant going to fire that fucking goof?
There’s nothing gay with being wrong.

9. Who has the lamest song on radio right now?
Been on the road, don’t really know what’s on the radio at the moment… but I really hate that new Korn or Limp Biskit. I don’t even know the name of it, or which band did it. But it’s lame.

10. Has Mike Fasano ever…
Shit your pants = Yeah, when I was like 7 or 8 years old, I had to run home from school (fear of shitting there, you know) and the house was locked. I was like a racehorse running home ten blocks, and I didn’t know if I was going to make it, so it was like a photo finish! We had a peach tree in the back yard, I leaned up against it and let it go. Some went on the tree and some went in my pants. But that was a long time ago. Reliving childhood fecal trauma now. But to answer your question, no not recently.
Joked about Jani’s hair = At least it’s real!
Touched another man’s penis = All the time. I love penises.
Joked about Eric’s chins = Which chin?
Jacked off in traffic = Don’t really jack off a lot, because I really do nothing for myself. But when I jack off into my little bunk sock, does it count if I’m in my bunk on the bus, and the bus is moving, so we might be in traffic?
Seen Jerry Dixon sober in the last 48 hours = You kidding me? Of course not. We get fucked up together all the time.
Considered suicide = Does mass suicide count, Jamestown style? I think it should.
Lied to Rikki Rockett in the last 72 hours = Maybe. How would he know?
Been with a prostitute = Only black ones. I’m an equal opportunity John. But you didn’t specifically ask about black prostitutes, so I won’t answer. Nor did you ask about male/female. Keep that in mind next time.
Had anybody ask for your autograph since the tour started = (silence… like when I throw drumsticks out and they hit the floor without anyone catching them.)

11. Have you talked to Bret Michaels at all during this tour?
Yeah. We talked about when he came to see Dad’s Porno Mag play years ago at a lesbian bar in West Hollywood with Charlie Sheen. Charlie is a huge DPM fan. (Dadspornomag.com, kids.) They proceeded to get hookers, prostitutes, and blow, all on Charlie’s neverending tab.

12. What is your take on the restrictions that Poison put on Warrant? Do you think it’s fair?
Whatever makes the tour work. The tour didn’t end because of us, so I guess the restrictions worked! Had Bobby not hurt himself, we would still be out there. The bad blood was years and years ago. Bret, Bobby, CC and Rikki made it clear to me that it had nothing to do with me personally. It’s too bad we as a band never got the opportunity to reconcile though, but I doubt it will ever happen. It’s really a drag, but people are different now. Probably not even when hell freezes over, so don’t hold your breath.

13. How much longer will it be before Jani up and leaves the tour?
Well obviously, we’ve all up and left the tour now. But not by choice.

14. What rock star deserves a smack in the mouth and why?
Axl. Dude, you rock, put the band back together, mutherfucker! I hail you. Get your shit together, get out there and rock. Last time I checked, you
were mutherfuckin’ AXL ROSE!

15. When you’re teching for bands such as Blink 182 and you tell them you also play in Warrant, what is the general reaction:
A. Hysterical laughing
B. Vomiting
C. Laughing and then vomiting
D. They fire you immediately
E. All of the above.

16. Do you really think Warrant is on the same level with Poison?
Musically the bands are similar, but still different. Warrant is a bit heavier band, sometimes darker. Poison ain’t nothin’ but a good time! Two different things, but both highly entertaining. As far as level of records sold, no, obviously Poison has sold way more records than Warrant, and that has nothing to do with me, I wasn’t even around for those records. So it’s up to the fans to decide who they like, obviously we share some of the same fanbase so there’s going to be overlap, which is cool.

17. When are you planning on quitting Warrant?
You kidding me? Quit Warrant? After doing clubs for so many years? Believe it or not, I’ve always wanted to do this. This is what I’ve been working for. I’m lucky #7, I’m in the band for the duration. Warrant’s my band!

18. Don’t you think Warrant would fair better if they got rid of their management and Street Team?
As far as our manager Obi, we would have never gotten the Glam Slam tour without him. Thanks to Obi, a lot of people got to see us this summer. As far as the Street Team, they’re as passionate about Warrant as the Sludgeaholics are about Metal Sludge. It’s really the same thing.

19. Have you stolen anything from Rikki Rockett lately?
Yeah, I got Tina Lou’s number when Rikki was preoccupied with the restaurant menu trying to decide what to eat. She has great feet. mmm, venereal.

20. Time for Metal Sludge’s Word Association. We mention a name and you give us your thoughts.
Steven Sweet = Glad he bailed. 6 drummers later, I got a gig! Thanks bro!
Keri Kelli = The man, the myth, the legend… according to Keri Kelli Online.
Jani Lane = Fuckin’ my bro. Larger than laminates! He doesn’t even need one.
Nikki Sixx = You know what’s funny, people have told me I look like him. It’s a huge compliment, because I think he’s hot… but I think they’re a litle mis-cued. PS Frank, Tommy Lee fuckin’ rocks. Get him back.
Billy Morris = Kickin’ it old school with mettler-style hair. Billy is cool.
3 Doors Down = Liked them better when they were called Seven Mary Three. Why’d you guys change your name?
Bret Michaels = Sexy, sexy, sexxxy! mmm, venereal.
Fred Durst = I must have missed the memo when he stopped wearing that baseball cap. He should put the cap back on. I wear my caps Fred Durst style too, you know.
Ryan Roxie = The fantasy of rock and roll. May lady rock shine down upon him. Are you holding?
Obi Steinman = He warned me about getting into Warrant and tried to talk me out of it. Thanks bro!
Rikki Rockett = Underrated. Great guy. Heard he has a big cock, can’t wait to see it!

21. Now that the Poison tour is over, what are Warrant’s plans?
Hey! Poison’s going into the studio, maybe I can tech for Rikki! Wanna rent some drums? Look mom, I’m going to Poison studio-land!

Thanks Metal Sludge. I want to send some props to the Fat Bitch Mafia, with the newest member Spooky Stephanie, Sammy Devine, and Jim BoB Dwarf, who has been really cool to me. Props! (I guess that’s what all the kids are saying, “props.”)

That’s actually one of the better written 20 Questions we have gotten back, plus he went into some good detail and added some good humor too. Though it’s not like he has anything better to do!

And we don’t know what’s up with Fuckazo saying he loves touching penises and wants to see Rikki’s, but who are we to judge anybody?

Props to Fuckazo for doing a good job!

To follow the latest happenings with Mike, you can go to www.totalposer.com or www.warrantweb.net