20 Questions With Ted Nugent, 12/11/01

 

26 QUESTIONS WITH…

Ted Nugent

Merry Christmas Sludgeaholics!

Being the Christmas season, we thought we’d give the Sludgeaholics an early Christmas present. That’s right, we got Ted Fucking Nugent to do 20 Questions with us!

When we started this page, Ted was one of the people we always wanted to talk to, and now we have accomplished yet another goal. And like always, Ted says exactly what he feels without any regards to political correctness, and we back that!

So enjoy our 26 Questions with Ted Nugent!

1. What do you have currently going on? This is your only chance to plug all the shit you have to plug.

Ted Nugent: Not much really. Basically on autocruze! Im alarmingly semi-comotose since all I’m up to is hunting everyday Sept thru Feb, guiding @300 hunters thru the winter huntseason, writing my 3rd book, writing adventure articles for 46 publications, raising funds for my kids charity, filming, producing & editing daily outings for my Ted Nugent Adventure Outdoors TV show, editing live video from my 2001 Detroit rockout for a Full Bluntal Nugity DVD, writing sensual sonic bombast masterepeices for my 2002 SpitFire studio CD, being the ultimate father, husband & predator, & basically scaring all whites on an hourly basis. Why do you ask?

2. Dude, what’s up with the Lions this year? I hear they are thriving in Botswana, South Africa, Tanzania, Zaire & Mozambique, but nearly wiped out in those countries where there is no hunting for them. Go figure. 3. What ever happened to the Damn Yankees CD that you guys were recording for Portrait Records and any plans on the Damn Yankees getting back together? It got neuterized by some fag producer who was into fashion shows & trends. We’ll do it right soon enuf. 4. What hard rock/heavy metal band should give it up and call it a day? None. I say never give up.

Ted and those Damn Yankees

5. Rate the following guitar players on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 being a Gomer and 10 being somebody almost as good as you.

Eddie Van Halen = 10

Chuck Berry = 10

Zakk Wylde = 10

Slash = 9

C.C. DeVille = who?

Mick Mars = 7

Joe Perry = 9

Eric Clapton = 8

Ace Frehley = 3

Steve Vai = 9

6. How long did Shemane make you wait before she left you in her pants? It was I who made her wait. 7. What’s your take on the media’s coverage of the events of September 11th and the Anthrax scare? Reasonable considering their unprofessionalism & hysterical ineptitude. 8. Poison’s Rikki Rockett says he agrees with you on many issues, but the animal stuff is where he has a problem. Do you agree with anything Rikki has to say? I agree he is Rikki Rocket. 9. Hypothetical Question. One day you wake up and you’re the President of the United States. What are the first 5 things you would do? Eliminate the IRS, 2-eliminate all gunlaws, 3-eliminate all parole, early release & plea bargaining, 4-flog all terrorists with a swine urine soaked barbwire riding crop, 5-create a reward for any citizen who kills a criminal in the commision of a felony.

10. Which do you prefer and why?

Drew & Mike or Howard Stern = Stern cuz he admits hes an ass.

Insane Clown Posse or Eminem = ICP cuz they admit their talentless.

Ratt or Cinderella = Cinderella cuz that cat can sing.

Smith & Wesson .38 caliber snubnosed revolver or Smith & Wesson M29 six and a half inch .44 magnum = Pleaze!

Tommy Aldridge or Gunner Ross = TA cuz he’s superhuman AND black.

Ted Nugent Gonzo Safari by Martin or The Bloodbrother Bow = tie

Real tits or fake tits = tie

Marco Mendoza or Michael Lutz = tie

Janet Reno or David Bonior = tie

11. Being that you have always been clean & sober, do you mind sharing the stage with Kid Rock, who obviously isn’t clean & sober and is also dating PETA member Pamela Anderson?

Those are the reasons I enjoy sharing the stage with him.

12. Did you hear that Ted Nugent tribute album called Bulletproof that came out last year, and if so, what was your favorite track?

Havnt heard it but great title.

13. Of all the band you have ever played with on the same bill, who were the biggest dicks?

Michael Schenker, spoiled, stoned krautpunk.

14. You’ve had a lot of rock stars over at your ranch to go hunting. Tell us who is the most natural at it and who was the biggest pussy about it.

Joe Perry is a natural predator, Ace Frehley was funnier than Richard Pryor on fire.

15. Give us a memory about either writing or recording the following songs:

Fred Bear = emotional overload.

Little Miss Dangerous = erectile overload.

Don’t Tread On Me = ballistic overload.

Piledriver = guffaw overload.

Cat Scratch Fever = nigger overload.

Wango Tango = throbbing Mexican boner overload

KLSTRPHK = Motown ejaculation overload.

Great White Buffalo = attitude overload

High Enough = Warble overload

Free For All = middlefinger overload

16. What rock star deserves a smack in the mouth and why?

All of em including me cuz we’re too rich & got all the perfect pussy.

17. You said some time ago that if murder were legal, you’d shoot an animal rights activist. Would you?

I never said that & why would I end the source of such unlimited humor.

18. Give us a touring, or even a hunting memory, about the following cities:

Honolulu = wall to wall pineapple pussy

Chicago = windy pussy

Minneapolis = twin pussy

Cleveland = toxic pussy

Tampa = sweaty pussy

Philadelphia = cheezy pussy

Denver = mile hi pussy

St. Louis = towering pussy

Houston = Cowgirl pussy

Phoenix = hot pussy

Los Angeles = not so sure pussy

19. Do you think if Osama bin Laden had taken some walks in the woods and gotten in touch with the Spirit Of The Wild, that the events of September 11th might not have taken place?

Nah, he’s too fucked up.

20. Has Ted Nugent ever:

Had a dream that a deer was hunting you = No

Gone down on a chick on the rag = Yes

Drank a beer = Yes

Flashed your Glock to a guy who came over to date one of your daughters = Yes

Saw a deer in the woods and had the urge not to kill it = No

Got a speeding ticket in the last 6 months = Yes

Hit a deer with your truck, either on purpose or by mistake = Yes

Within the last 5 years, shot at a deer with your bow and missed it = Yes

Thought about cutting your hair = Yes

Arrested somebody on your own = Yes

Had the urge to replace Tommy Shaw’s veggie burger with real meat = Yes

Cheated on Shemane = fuck you

21. Would you say that the lowest point of your career was when you were touring with Slaughter?

My career has had no lows, its too much damn fun, & I’ll do anything with anything named Slaughter.

22. Your daughter Sasha is pretty hot. Any rock guys try and bang her yet? Would you shoot them?

Yes & yes

23. Speaking of Rikki, we were told that he challenged you to a U.F.C. Rikki is a purple belt under the Machado Bros. in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and has trained with many notable U.F.C. fighters. Would you fight him and how would you deal with his ninja like tactics?

never heard of any challenge, but bring em on. Im from Detroit, Id kill him.

24. Rumor has it that you shit in your pants to avoid the draft? Any truth to that, and if not, where did that rumor come from?

Not true, but the funniest story I ever made up for some drooling hippie at Creem magazine named Lester Bangers.

25. Time for Metal Sludge’s Word Association. We give you a name and you give us your thoughts.

Alice Cooper = good man

Nikki Sixx = good rocker

Lemmy = ugly

Britney Spears = yum

Gene Simmons = cute

Bill Maher = cuter

Tommy Shaw = bluesdog

The Crocodile Hunter = cute

Dave Mustaine = feminine

Ozzy Osbourne = clever

Janet Reno = a real man

James Hetfield = rockdog

Sammy Hagar = soul brother

David Lee Roth = showman

Ingrid Newkirk = funny

Howard Stern = funnier

26. If terrorists attack the US again, can we come over to your place? We’d feel better hanging out with you!

Only if you can pass the sniper drill.

So there you go kids! Cute, huh?

First we get Alice Cooper for Halloween, and now it’s Ted Nugent for Christmas. Who’s next?

Thanks to Chris and Doug at Madhouse Management for setting this up for us!

If you’d like to start killing things right away or perhaps just order some beef jerky, stop by Ted’s website at www.tednugent.com