20 Questions With Metal Sludge, 12/25/01

20 QUESTIONS WITH…

Merry Christmas Sludgeaholics!

We’ve done a lot of interviews over the last 3 and a half years, but none of them were as good as they could have been. Mainly because we weren’t interviewing ourselves! Who better to interview Metal Sludge than Metal Sludge!?

So as a gift to all the Sludgeaholics Worldwide, we’re going to give you the interview that we should have been asked a long time ago. We sat down at Metal Sludge World Headquarters with Jani Bon Neil, Donna Anderson, Ozzy Stillbourne, Taime “Sex” Slaughter, and Bastard Boy Floyd, and asked each other questions while drinking Eggnog.
 

No punches were pulled. We didn’t go easy on ourselves.

Enjoy!

1. What are you currently up to? This is your only chance to plug your shit.
Ozzy: What are we up to? We run this fucking site! Hello! What type of stupid question is that? But we’ll answer it anyway.
Jani: Currently it’s December 2001 and our site is bigger than Rikishi’s ass. We were just on the VH-1 show “The Secret Life Of Groupies” and we’ve got more hits than a dealer at a Grateful Dead show.
Ozzy: For the year 2002, we plan on taking the site to the next level. Like Pantera said, a new level of confidence and power. We’re not going away, we’re here to stay, and we will be larger than ever in 2002. Believe that! We have interviews lined up with new bands, old bands, and bands that should never have even started in the first place. We have Rewinds and 3-Winds all ready to go and we plan on coming out strong for 2002.
Bastard Boy Floyd: We also have a fine line of Sludgendise available, including but not limited to T-Shirts, Long Sleeve Shirts, Sweatshirts, Hooded Sweat Shirts, Baby Dolls, and Baseball Jerseys! We even have more silly Sludgendise lined up for the new year! Stop by our Sludgendise store anytime at http://www.metal-sludge.com/Sludgendise.htm
 

2. Lets not beat around the bush. Why are you guys so secretive about your identities? Are you afraid you’re going to get your ass kicked or what?
Ozzy: The only person who has to worry about getting their ass kicked is whoever came up with that question.
Jani: It’s not because we’re afraid to get our ass kicked. That has nothing to do with it. Nobody knows who we are, so as far as you know we could all be 500 pound Samoans who have black belts in Karate. We’re not worried about some skinny dude with tight pants and a perm kicking our ass.
The reason for keeping our identities private has to do with getting sludge. That way, Ozzy Stillbourne can walk on Sebastian Bach’s fucking tour bus, smoke a joint with Bitch Boy, and Bitch Boy doesn’t even know Ozzy Stillbourne is smoking his weed!
Ozzy: Hypothetically speaking, of course. Not that I would do that or anything. Why are you looking at me like that? Fuck you.
Donna Anderson: It’s so I can hang out on Warrant’s bus and see who really is cheating. If guys knew that Donna Anderson was hanging out on their bus, they would be on their best behavior so I don’t put it up on the site! And if some guy has a small dick, he might be more reluctant to show it to me because he wouldn’t want to end up on the Penis Chart.
Jani: It’s so I can hang out in Slaughter’s dressing room without Dana Strum knowing it.
Taime: It’s so I can go shopping with Anthony Focx for fog machines and Anthony is none the wiser.
Jani: It also gives us the freedom to say whatever we want without anybody crying to us in person about it. For example, if some writer or editor for a magazine wanted to say “Aerosmith sucks,” he might have to answer to Aerosmith’s management, or perhaps next time he wants to do an interview with them, Aerosmith will tell him to fuck off. Plus when he’s backstage at a show, he has all sorts of people kissing his ass simply to get put in the magazine. Everybody is nice to reporters and on their best behavior to look good. That’s generally the case, anyway. But we don’t want people being nice to us just because they want something. If we’re backstage, nobody knows who the fuck we are so we can see people how they REALLY are. Nobody comes up to us and bothers us about shit. We can do as we please.
Fuck, we’ve had legit journalists write us and say, “I wish I could write like you guys. I wish I had the freedom to say what you say.”
Bastard Boy Floyd: Think about this rock stars: We’ve had OUR SLUDGEAHOLICS in your dressing room, on your tour bus, in your recording studio, inside your hotel room, on your stage, in your radio station, and in the drain in your bathroom looking up at you through the sink! We’re everywhere. Your fucking roadies are sending us sludge. Your fucking bus driver is sending us sludge while he’s driving down the road. The fat chick at the counter behind Denny’s is logging on and telling us that you’re a cheap tipper. And you don’t even fucking know it. We’re so secretive ninajs come to us to be trained!

3. What hard rock/heavy metal band should give it up and call it a day?
Ozzy: Slaughter!
Taime “Sex” Slaughter: Pretty Boy Floyd.
Jani: None of them really because if they bail, who will we talk about?

4. Where did the idea for Metal Sludge come from, why are you here, and where do you get your info from?
Jani: The real purpose of Metal Sludge was to slap around Gerri Miller and just have some fun by making fun of the magazine, the bands, and that whole era in general. We never had any plans to stick around this long or have the success we’ve had. We didn’t think we’d last a week.
Our page was created because of Gerri Miller’s powertrips. To date we have received countless ?off the record? e-mails from various musicians and industry types detailing their horror stories with Gerri. We exposed some of that and she left Metal Edge magazine in November of 1998. After that we decided to stick around for a bit.
Why?
Face it “rock stars,” you all talk shit. You all kick back in your tour buses talking shit about other bands. All we do is provide an open forum for it. You look through Metal Edge and bitch about “why is this band in this issue?” “Why does that band have a color pinup” Or maybe, “Why is that band going on after us? They suck.” “How did that band sell so many CDs?” “Who are they paying to get on MTV?” “Who’s dicks are they sucking to be on the cover of that magazine?” All you fucking bands do it. Don’t lie. All Sludge does is bring it to the people.
Taime: This whole idea of Metal Sludge was really a joke to start with. Just a stupid little idea that took on a life of it?s own. Why has it taken on a life of it?s own you may be asking? Well, why has Metal Sludge interviewed nearly 200 entertainment stars from the music, porn & wrestling industry every week? Why has Metal Sludge graced the pages of dozens of print magazines worldwide? Why was Metal Sludge recently featured on a VH1 (again) in a special about Groupies? Why has Metal Sludge had roughly 5,000,000 unique hits in a few short years? That was FIVE MILLION for all keeping score at home. Why? Why? Why? Because of you, you and you. Because you asked for it! Because you wanted it!
Ozzy: You wanted the best, you got the best!
Taime: Don’t interrupt me, Gene. It’s because, you the fans have made Metal Sludge what it is today. So it?s real simple, if you keep coming, we?ll still be here. And honestly, we started this for ourselves, so even if you don?t come, fine, fuck off we?ll still be here anyway. We thought by doing this site we could share it (our idea) with the people who had similar interests and opinions.
Ozzy: It’s not like Sebastian Bach only become an asshole since I started giving him FU Awards in 1999. He was an asshole back in 1989. That’s why he was kicked out of the band back in 96. Metal Sludge didn’t make him an asshole, we just talked about it.
We didn’t make Vince Neil fat. We didn’t make Bret Michaels lose his hair. We didn’t make Stephen Pearcy’s voice suck. We didn’t make Jani Lane work in a kitchen. That’s all stuff that would have happened anyway!
Bastard Boy Floyd: I get all the emails that come to the metalsludge@metal-sludge.com and I read every email sent to us. You know how many “rock stars” have contributed shit for our site? Go look over our list of people who have done 20 Questions and Rewinds. You don’t think some of them haven’t given us info? You don’t think a few of them haven’t written in under another name? You don’t think they’ve sent us questions to ask their former bandmates? Shit, it’s probably more entertaining behind the scenes at Sludge than what any of you get to see!
Donna: Does anybody really think I’ve seen the cocks of all 150 plus names on the dick chart? I might be a ho, but I’m no slut! I get my info from girlfriends, word of mouth, emails, etc.
Taime: We?ve all heard the rumors and read the posts on the Internet. ?I heard so and so does it with his sister in-laws retarded nephew.? Who are we for real? The answer to that is very simple. We are you. That?s right, I said, WE ARE YOU! No typo.
That?s the straight facts. I mean, we started out as ?we? but ?we? soon became ?you?. Without mincing words, YOU give us a large percentage of the information. Do you think that we actually sit around all day searching the net for shit about Jani Lane cooking or Sebastian Bach telling Much Music to fuck off during an on air interview? Do you think that we would drive to some shit hole bar in Illinois to watch Warrant with 120 people and then follow Jani back to his motel room to ask him why he bums cigarettes off the fans?
Fuck no!
We ain?t got time for that kind of shit. But YOU sure as hell do! Do you think we have the time, much less the skill to create these killer logos or the pictures of various ?stars? heads on cartoon characters? Do you honestly believe that we sat around for 3 hours cutting and pasting 20 fucking people and putting them on an Island for our Sludgevivor games? Fuck no! Do you think we completely designed this entire page layout and all of the links that are displayed for your easy browsing and viewing pleasure? Fuck no! Fuck no! And Fuck You! All of these things listed above and more YOU created. That?s right, YOU the Sludgeaholics. The next time you?re at a concert wearing your Sludgendise and you see another ?rocker? wearing Sludgendise make sure to shake their hand or give them that Sludge nod. They could?ve very well designed the logo on your shirt. They might have directed us to that post in the Cleveland based newspaper about Mr. Lane and his new cooking job. That very article created a plethora of entertainment for literally thousands. We didn?t hire Jani to cook, we didn?t write the article, we didn?t write 7-11 (the lyrics) and we didn?t record the song either. Different people from all over the country did all of this without any help or encouragement from Metal Sludge. We just reported it. And you just sat back and laughed. No real harm done, just a little humor that was all submitted by YOU and Exposed by Metal Sludge.
It is safe to say that a very large percentage of our page is information contributed by other sites, fans, band members, and jealous girlfriends. Hell, we even have current wives, radio DJs and even the record companies themselves who dish the very dirt you read. We have more informants than the C.I.A. F.B.I. & D.E.A. combined. Did we ask for them? No! Did they come e-mailing a million miles an hour? Ab-so-fucking-lutely!
Jani: Lets take a look at our “7-11″ parody song. You know what, we didn’t even come up with that idea or write it. What? We said we didn’t even totally write “7-11.” It was sent in by an influential person in the music scene who wrote the entire thing, except we changed some lines here and there, but basically it was this other person’s joke they sent into us.
Taime: Yeah, and a week later we get another e-mail along with an MP3 from Jamie Rowe telling us he recorded the fucking thing! WTF? Amazing it was, and BAM (add Emeril Lagasse sound) the fucker went up as a new post. Now we?ve created a whole new identity for Jani as a Chef. Better a Chef than a frog right? Hell, he?s been told he looked kind of like a frog for fucking years. Do you think we were the first ones to point out Jani’s similar look to the bullfrog? Fuck no! Do you think Metal Sludge is the very reason several dozen rockers are fat, balding or both? Fuck no! They are – the very reason they?re fat and bald all on their own. We just point it and make some laughter along the way. When someone?s wig is out of control or their stomach looks like a Butterball turkey those things need to be addressed.
Jani: All you “rock stars” or “industry people” have helped us get to where we are. You send us your tour dates, you send us your plugs, you send us your “off the record” gossip. You do all that shit. And some of you even talk shit about Metal Sludge, yet you still send us gossip. You don’t want your bandmates to think you’re down with the page, but meanwhile you send us shit all day long. So next time we put up something you don’t like, don’t blame us, blame yourselves. Because if it wasn’t for you, we wouldn’t be here!

5. Rate the following websites on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 being a waste of bandwidth and 10 being something almost as good as Metal Sludge.
MulletsGalore.com = 10. How can you go wrong with a site dedicated to mullets?
KNAC = 8 + The Rack’s Rack = 10.
BritneySpears.com = 10! Britney.com is also good. Not that I go there and jack off to her pictures all day, but people have told me it’s good. I really wouldn’t know.
HardRadio = 5
Metal Edge Online = 1. When was the last time this site was updated?
Perris Records = you’re kidding, right?
Groupie Central = 8, I suppose. Their message board is too censored though.
TawneeStone.com = 9! Great site if you’re into a naked chick that looks like she’s 15.
Rotten.com = 7. The novelty has worn off a bit, but it’s the place to go if you want to see what people look like after they’ve exploded.
KOAM.com = 9.99. The best Howard Stern site for news on Howard. They’ve even linked a few of our 20 Questions now and then! If you’re looking for daily recaps of the show, go to MarksFriggin.com.
 

6. Why do you guys hate eighties bands and how do you know so much about them?
Taime: Who said we hate eighties bands? Do you think we would have started a site about something we totally hate and know nothing about? What are you new? Do you think the Crocodile Hunter just started fucking with alligators and snakes the day he got a TV show? Fuck no! He?s been jumping around in the mud with that shit since he was five. So wake the fuck up shit head. And yes, we do hate eighties bands. Our true love is actually Polka music, easy listening Jazz, Reggae and of course Moby.
Ozzy: I prefer Radiohead and Dave Matthews, myself.

7. So will you guys ever reveal your true identities?
Taime: We were thinking about doing a show called ?Metal Sludge Revealed? but negotiations broke down after Scott Ian?s busy schedule kept him from being the official host. I guess it would be similar to ?Magic Secrets Revealed,” you know the show with the masked magician and that host who narrates each trick.
Ozzy: Too bad the guy took off his mask and has never been heard from again.
Taime: We have also had several talks with Floyd about doing public appearances. Maybe with BeatleJuice or Gary The Retard. Unfortunately this has not come to light yet as Floyd has a huge management team and more lawyers than Metallica. They feel his unique image could make him an instant celebrity and want to fully protect him before the windfall of offers comes rolling in.
Jani: In other words, no! You’ll have a better chance at seeing all original members of Nirvana playing your local state fair before we reveal our identities.

8. Do you think anyone’s really going to pay in the neighborhood of $100 for a Metal Sludge baseball jersey?
Bastard Boy Floyd: Why don’t you ask the gang of Sludgeaholics that have already bought them? In fact, the first person who order a Jersey paid $115 because he ordered an XXXL! That’s a big boy!
Shit, if we can sell a shitty CD on Ebay for $150, (yo, what’s up Jim Bob?) selling a custom made Baseball Jersey for $100 should be a piece of cake!

9. Which Sludge staff writer has the most homosexual tendencies?
Donna: Me! I never get tired of looking at boobs.
Ozzy: I never get tired of looking at your boobs.
Donna: My fantasy fuck list right now includes Shakira, Gwen Stefani, and Racquel Darrian the porn star. Though nothing will ever replace a nice, hard cock.
Jani: And if Donna hooks up with any of those ladies, we’ll be selling the video for $19.99!

10. What do you remember about the following months at Metal Sludge?
September 1998 = The beginning of it all. On September 1st, 1998, we started and got a huge 72 hits! For those keeping score at home, the lowest day in Sludge History was September 14, 1998, with 33 hits. Yes, we keep track of everything!
December 1998 = The domain www.metalsludge.com was registered by somebody else before we had the chance to do it. That’s why we’re metal-sludge.com.
June 1999 = We debut www.metal-sludge.com as well as put up two 20 Questions in one day with Kendra Jade and Tommy Lee.
September 1999 = Our one year anniversary, in which we get Metal Edge’s Paul Gargano to do 20 Questions with us.
January 2000 = That is the month I quit the page and was replaced by that poser The Masked Bastard!
June 2000 = We started selling our Sludgendise!
October 2000 = My article in Spin Magazine came out! We do our first E-Bay auction in which we sell the worst CD known to man, Blowtorch, for $150! And Metal Sludge signs pop up on WWF’s Sunday Night Heat and Smackdown.
February 2001 = We got our 2 Millionth Hit! We also debuted Jani Lane’s Cribs and a Rewind with Chip Z’Nuff.
June 2001 = Our “White Trash Dream Date” contest began with the winner getting a date with Rikki Rockett and Mike Fasano. We also had our 3rd Metal Sludge Extravaganza at Paladino’s with Metal Shop headlining and Ralph Saenz and Josie Pearl hosting.
September 2001 = We pulled the page down over Labor Day weekend for a joke and everybody freaks out! We return with 20 Questions with Dave Mustaine. September 2001 is also the month we exposed Anthony Focx for the fog machine loving 36 year old he really is!
 

11. Doesn’t it bum you guys out that you have Sludgeaholics hanging out backstage, going to parties, etc. while you guys have to sit at home in order to preserve your anonymity?
Jani: Not at all because we like our fans to experience things that they might not be able to otherwise. If we can hook somebody with a backstage pass or give somebody special treatment, we will.
Bastard Boy Floyd: What the fuck? I’m stuck driving an ice cream truck around all day and you’re giving some guy named Jim Bob passes to see Poison? What about me? Why don’t you hook a nigga up with some of that loot? Nobody does shit for me! I have the mind to…
Ozzy: Shut the fuck up.

 

12. When is Metal Sludge going to end? Are you ever afraid of getting the page shut down?
Taime: Shut down for what? We?re not shutting the page down for anyone. We?re not being sued and we?re not going to change anything unless you the fans along with our entire staff agree on it. Howard Stern often says, ?If you don?t like what you hear, change the God damn channel.” So, if you don?t like what you?re reading, ?Don?t fucking log onto our site.” Metal Sludge has opinions that are not likely to be accepted by everyone, so if you?re an un-accepting, narrow-minded jackass, please leave now. We appreciate the fact that we reside in a free country that laws protect an individual?s freedom of speech. We have a legal right to our opinions and will exercise our right to use them at will.

13. What rock star deserves a smack in the mouth and why?
Ozzy: We’ve slapped everybody who has had it coming. And you can never go wrong with Sebitchian. Everytime he opens his mouth he needs it slapped shut. Speaking of which, look for another Sebitchian bitch slapping soon!

14. If you could bestow renewed success on any 80’s hard rock, heavy metal, or all-around hair band, which one would it be and why?
Jani: Slave Raider of course. Duh!
Donna: Bang Gang, for obvious reasons.
BBF: Cherry St! Whooooooooooooooooooo!
Ozzy: Wild Boyz
Taime: Cry Wolf
 

15. Which do you prefer:
Poison Tour Diary or Megadeth Tour Diary = Both are great for different reasons. We liked how Dave wrote something about every day of the tour, which really made you feel like you were on the road with them. However Dave never finished his Tour Diary for us so that sort of sucked. Rikki’s diary were more about certain road stories and of course came with pictures especially for the Diary. If we had to choose, we’d go with Rikki cause of his loyalty, pictures, and he always finished his diaries!
Jani Lane or Bret Michaels = Jani, because he at least has the balls to do 20 Questions with us.
Blas Dokken or Dana Brittingham = Dana Brittingham easily. Blas Dokken got fired after one day.
Dusty The Fat Bitter Cat’s Column or Vulgar Display Of Sludge Column by Jeffrey Rappaport = Both are just like the Civil War…ancient history! But we’ll pick Dusty because cats who can type are cool.
Chris Van Dahl’s 20 Questions or Stefan Adika’s 20 Questions = That’s like asking, “do you like warm shit or cold shit.” What’s the difference? If we had to choose, we’d uh…eh….flip a coin. Heads it’s Van Dahl and tails it’s Adika. Wait a minute while we flip the coin…..it’s flipping….it’s tails, Adika wins! Poor Chris Van Dahl, the guy just can’t win.
Cleopatra Records or Perris Records = Easy, Cleopatra cause they’ve at least sent us free shit. Just like Spitfire, WEA, CMC, and most other labels. But we’ve never gotten any free shit from Perris Records. Come to think of it, that’s actually a good thing! So we’re going to change our answer to Perris because we want to thank them for never sending us any of their shit! Thank you!
Jizzy Pearl or Josie Pearl = Hmmm. Interesting question. I’ll say Jizzy for writing and Josie for fucking. Not that Josie can’t write or Jizzy can’t fuck, but all of us, including myself, would rather fuck Josie than Jizzy.
Dana Strum or Sebitchian Bach = I’ll take Sebitchian because at least he’s a good frontman and he’s more fun to rip on. You never know what stupid shit he’ll say so there is always the element of surprise! Plus Dana is just worthless all the way around.
Metal Edge circa 1986 or Metal Edge circa 2001 = If I’m looking for comedy, it would be Metal Edge circa 1986. If I’m looking for good writing, it would be Metal Edge circa 2001.
Sludge Scans or Sludge Master = Sludge Scans because it’s more fun to see who’s not selling records than who’s not selling out shows.
Scavenger Hunts or eBay Auctions = Scavenger Hunts because it gives us the opportunity to ask for things we want without looking like we’re asking for things.
 

16. How would you describe Metal Sludge to somebody who doesn’t get it?
I guess you could say that Metal Sludge is kind of like an Internet heckler. Basically, we are your ?bad guy?. In the wrestling world we would be called heels. We stuck our nose out, so you now have a place to bitch. Metal Sludge is a place that everyone visits and loves to laugh at the razor sharp content. They love to see the other person fail, fall and be the center of ridicule and humiliation. That is until the shoe is on the other foot. Some of our biggest supporters and informants would freely swing from our nuts while we bashed their old band mates or rivals. But, as soon as they fucked up themselves, they?d run like little bitches. We have an old saying, ?Live by the Sludge, Die by the Sludge?. Learn it, live it, love it. We don?t go looking for stupid shit, stupid shit just happens and we report it. Everyone does stupid shit, but then again not everyone is a ?star?.

17. Has Bastard Boy Floyd ever?
Considered cutting off the pigtails = yeah, sometimes they’re just too hard to maintain.
Visited the dentist = the what?
Saw Donna naked = who hasn’t?
Stalked a kids’ playground = so?
Jacked off in the Ice Cream truck = Hey, the girl wanted cream filling, I was just trying to help her out. The charges were all dropped.
Phoned Paul Gargano = I might if I get that pinup in Metal Edge!
Urinated in his sleep within the last week = oh, and like you haven’t?
Touched a dog’s erect penis = is there something wrong with that?
Purchased a Trixter CD = I was drunk, so what?
Paid for sex = yes, I have had a few girls pay me for sex. What can I say, I’m a gigolo. I’m not ashamed.

18. What is your opinion of the copycat & clone sites that have followed in your footsteps?
Taime: Ah, I?m glad you asked that. I guess you could say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. We?ve visited all of these sites. Some are okay but most have made very weak attempts to jock our unique style.
Ozzy: In other words they suck.
Taime: They all soon realize that this takes work, time, finance and above all some ?originality? to keep up with the cr?me of the crop. We wish them all the best…
Ozzy: I don’t, they can suck a nut.
Taime: but we all know who are the originators of this game.
Jani: There will never be another rock site that will accomplish what we have accomplished the way we have done it. We’ve never once picked up a phone and talked to anybody, but we can still pull off having sold out crowds at our Metal Sludge Nights. We’ve never once met with anybody, but we can still pull off huge ass interviews. Those other sites were never anonymous and still couldn’t pull off 1% of what we’ve done.
Ozzy: We’re gods. Now somebody suck my dick.

19. For $30,000: A random person walking down the street will be placed nude in a windowless room in the middle of nowhere. You are required to walk into the room, lick the person’s sphincter three times, and leave. The person will have just showered and there is no risk of any inadequate wiping. Would you do it?
Jani: Uh, no.
Ozzy: Do I look like Rob Halford to you?
Donna: That wouldn’t be the first time I got paid for something like that, so yes.
Floyd: I don’t get it. Is there something weird about doing that?

20. Time for Metal Sludge’s Word Association. We mention a name and you give us your thoughts.
Rikki Rockett = The one rock star who has gone out of his way for our page almost more than anybody. From early on, he got it. We don’t care if you like Poison or not. If you’re a Sludgeaholic, you should back Rikki because it’s people like him that have taken our page to where it is now.
Scott Ian = A short, bald, Jew who wears a medium sized Metal Sludge shirt, and pretty much takes no shit from anyone! Our idol and role model!
Paul Gargano = Huge props go out to Paul. He has handled us completely the opposite of what would be expected from the very editor of the magazine we’ve been spoofing. He’s come through for us with interviews, press, he’s worn our shirt in the magazine, and has no fear of Sludge. Somebody you should look up too!
Kendra Jade = Sweetheart. Will be seen wearing our Metal Slut Baby Doll next time she’s on the Howard Stern show, right Kendra?
Sebitchian Bach = He went from being the 1st “rock star” to give us props to somebody who goes around yelling at people who wear our shirt. He felt he could slap us around and intimidate us like he has so many other people in his life. Sadly for him, he had no idea who the fuck he was fucking with. Good frontman and singer, horrible human being.
Jim Bob Dwarf = Dedicated Sludgeaholic. We like to call his type a lifer. Being a Sludgeaholic at Jim Bob’s level is like being in the mob. Once you’re in, you’re in for life. The only way out is if we whack you.
Wendell Neely = We told Wendell years ago he would be the first person to interview us if we ever decided to do a phone interview. The chances of that happening are as likely as Anthony Focx joining Van Halen as their rhythm guitarist, but if we did decide to do it, Wendell would be the first person we’d go to because we always keep our promises. Unless of course somebody offers us more money to talk, and in that case, we’d totally forget Wendell and whore ourselves out!
Donnie Vie = Talented songwriter but his own worst enemy.
Jani Lane = A truly talented writer and performer, and a real trooper. He’s taken some brutal shots from us but was still man enough to kick back and answer our stupid questions. This is something that Sebitchian Bach or Dana Strum wouldn’t have the balls to do. But Jani? He doesn’t give a fuck. Which is obvious by the way he looks, but I’m not the kind to talk shit.
Anthony Focx = Somebody who learned the hard way not to try and pull shit over on us.
Gerri Miller = Bastard Boy Floyd’s long lost mother!

Now that was a great interview worthy of a Super Balls Award!

If you’d like more information on this wonderful site, you can visit www.metal-sludge.com

Merry Christmas!