Sebastian Bach Drummer Mark “Bam Bam” McConnell

It’s not Sebastian Bach, but it’s about as close as we’ve come to getting him!

It’s his drummer, Bam Bam. He’s been playing on and off with Sebastian since their Madame X days back in the 80’s. Poor guy.

Recently, January 2002 SludgEtte Of The Month Ette traveled out East to stalk, er, we mean, go see some of Sebastian’s recent shows out there. While she was there, she emailed us and let us know that Bam Bam really wanted to do 20 Questions, so we sent her our questions. This is Ette’s report:

Here are the 20 questions with Bam Bam.. Sorry it took so long but we had to conduct most of the interview in between shows and then on IM.

I had a blast hanging out with Bam Bam as always. He is one of the most cool, sincere and upfront guys you could ever meet, not to mention one of the most bad ass fuckin drummers I’ve ever witnessed… And on top of it all he was a great sport about everything, so that’s gotta show for something
I also want to thank my friends Jessica and Megan for helping with parts of the interview and providing lot’s of fucked up jokes that cracked my ass up.

There’s Ette wearing a Metal Sludge Baby Doll with Bam Bam. She didn’t capture Sebastian, yet, but she got us these 20 Questions, so that’s even better!

Enjoy!

 

1. What are you currently up to? This is your only chance to plug your shit?
Currently playing a short tour with Bas and friends, and working on new material with the boys for the upcoming CD. I am also working with a band called the Comatones, a band called Cryptonaut, a band called Future Urban Zoo, and a band called Native Sun, all in Florida. I have put together CD packages of 5 killer bands I was with throughout the years, and they are on sale through my web page…so please visit WWW.BAMBAM.ISONFIRE.COM…There is some killer material on there. I’m also doing a project with Dave Linsk from Overkill, and it’s called Sledgehammer. The shit fuckin’ RIPS!!!! At present, I can’t say who the singer is, but you guys will freak when you find out. I am 90% doing the Trans Siberian Orchestra gig, with Al Petrelli from Thanksgiving until New Years this year. I like to play drums as often as I can, and it seems like people like when I play as often as I can, so….!!!!!!!!!!

2. Do you have Sebastian’s permission to do this?
I don’t need his permission, but when I mentioned it, he said Yeah, go for it.

3. What hard rock/heavy metal band should give it up and call it a day?
Slaughter should definitely call it a day

4. Hypothetical question: You are at a bar drinking. We know that might be a stretch for you, but play along. So you’re at a bar and you want to go outside to have a smoke or get some fresh air. You go to take your drink
with you outside but the bartender says you can’t drink outside. What do you do?
A: Finish your drink inside, and once it’s finished, you go outside & light up.
B: Tell the bartender to fuck off and say, “Do you know who I am?”
C: Start screaming that you’re going to shoot everybody.
D. Offer the guy head from some stripper who keeps following you around.
D. But would I have to pay her for it? And, was that really a girl?

5. Rate the following drummers on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 being somebody who has no rhythm and 10 being a drum god.
Lars Ulrich = 8
Bobby Blotzer = 6
Mike Portnoy = 8
Anton Fig = 9
Tommy Lee = 9
Charlie Benante = 7
Peter Criss = 6 then, 2 now
Rikki Rockett = 5
Vinnie Paul = 9
Phil Varone = who?
Buddy Rich = 10
Dennis Chambers = 10
Terry Bozzio = 10

6. One of the biggest issues with being a drummer is timing. Most drummers have a problem with this, especially in a live situation. Was Bach on your case to constantly speed things up or slow them down? You know, the hand signals and that shitty look a singer gives the band when they’re not doing exactly what he wants. Please elaborate on this?
First of all, most of the shitty looks, and hand signals were for the monitor man, Jack Secret. You might have heard of him, he works for a band called RUSH. Bas uses inner ear monitors, which in theory could melt your brain with the feedback, as there is nowhere for the feedback to go but directly to your ear drum. Most of the hand signals are for him. As far as tempos go, Bas is a perfectionist, which is why Phil Varone or Rob Affuso can’t be in the band, and Anton and myself can. He likes the tempo to stay right where it is supposed to be. If he feels it going either way, of course he’s gonna let me know. It’s my fucking job to make sure it’s perfect…and it is 99% of the time. I love that about him. That’s why I play for Bas instead of some fag like Gary Cherone.

7. When you read an interview that Sebitchian does, approximately what percent of the time do you feel embarrassed for him? A: 25 % B: 50 % C: 75 % D: I can’t read D. I can’t read but Paul Crook is teaching me. So far I’ve mastered “See spot mosh”

Paul Crook and Bam Bam share some intimate moments in a pool.

8. Why didn’t you play on any of Sebitchian’s solo CD’s and do you have any plans on playing on his new stuff? Because Sebastian is also good friends with Anton and wanted him to be on it. I’m on all of the live tracks, so that works for me. Yes I will be on the new CD!!!

9. Do you think people who listen to Skid Row also listen to Poison?
I’m sure there are quite a few out there.

10. Yes or no, has Bam Bam ever:
Shit your pants on stage = Only when Kerry King was on the side of the stage watching us last week.
Had sexual thoughts about Maria Bach = No. We’ve been friends for a long time.. But who wouldn’t think she’s hot?
Wished you were Rob Affuso = Are you fucking kidding me?
Cheated on a girlfriend = And you didn’t?
Seen Sebastian go a day without smoking pot = Well, People do get the flu don’t they?
Taken a shower with 4 naked chicks at the same time = Dude, I am a sex GOD!!! Of course!!!
Had an offer from VH-1 to host a show = Just last week…BIG BAD BAM BAMS BOOTY BEATIN’ BUTT PARTY…did I mention I have a killer funk band?
Heard Sebastian have something good to say about Metal Sludge = Yes. He used to dig you guys…why don’t you be cool with him? He loves his kids, and is a good guy. Anyone who cares for, and loves kids the way he does doesn’t deserve the BS you lay on him.
Talked shit about somebody who was dead = No, well there was a fuckin’ loser fuck named Hitler. He WAS shit.
Had an STD = Do crabs count?

Bam Bam and Anton Fig

11. Hypothetical question: If Phil Varone breaks an arm tomorrow and Skid Row calls you to do the Rock Never Stops tour, would you do it? For what? To get paid shit and open for Jackyl? I don’t fuckin’ think so…get real. You think Kerry King is gonna go watch that? I know he came to OUR show. I’m fine having Paul Crook RIP ASS on guitar in front of me every show. I also like having the most rippin’ singer on the planet in front of my drum riser every show…life is good!!!

12. How much money do you make per week when touring with Sebastian and how much with other bands?
Let’s just say that I make enough to own a 350 4-bolt main, medium cam, Rochester 700 Quadra-jet carb, dual-exhaust MOTHER-FUCKIN’ BAD-ASS, CHEVY VAN.. down by the river. And my very own George Foreman grill. I’m in too many other bands to compare the salaries. Lets just say Bas gave me points…does that work? Yes, I am financially secure.

13. What rock star deserves a smack in the mouth and why?
Yngwie Malmsteen. Can you say FAGGOT? This girl calls my house, and needs a drummer. Once he, (she), finds out I have played with Bas, he, (she), decides that he, (she), does not want me to do the tour because he, (she) assumes I’m a heroin addict because I played with (OH NO!!!) Sebastian Bach. DUDES….Hear this….NO DRUGS! (well, weed, of course). I accept an offer to kick DINGWIE’S ass, at anytime, anywhere!!!!
I will CRUSH HIM like an insect under my boot. (sounds kinda fun…..)

14. Have you ever been in a physical fight with Sebastian, and if so, what happened?
No, But we’ve had some wicked friendly wrestling matches Also, I still beat him in arm wrestling, but he’s getting WAY STRONG lately, so I might not want to step up to the plate. Sometimes you gotta say no…

15. This is the last of Bam Bam:
Last time Sebastian smacked you = After the show at the Stone Pony on Saturday night.. He slapped me on the back and said “Good Job Buddy”
Last time you asked Paul Crook for advice = Advice? He’s teaching me how to read, remember?
Last concert you saw = George Clinton and P Funk.. Funk Fuckin’ rules!!!
Last movie you watched = Spiderman… With 6 hot chicks
Last book you read = “The Masked Rider” written by Neil Peart from Rush.
Last time you wore makeup = Ette will be doing me for the next show.
Last time you wondered why you were on the same stage as a guy dressed up like an Indian = The last time I played with the Village people.
Last CD you purchased = Slayer “Reign in Blood” when I heard I might be auditioning.
Last Broadway show you attended = Jekyll and Hyde
Last time you talked to a member of Madame X = 1987 (Not including Baz)

16. How many times have you seen Sebitchian cheat on his wife? (Never is not an option for this answer)
Well…There was this one time at a petting zoo..

Zakk Wylde and Bam Bam

17. What do you think of Metal Sludge? I think you guys are hilarious!.. I dig it! 18. Do you realize that Sebitchian never sold 22 million albums? Paul’s my reading tutor only. I haven’t found a math tutor yet. I’m sure the count on his sales is more than yours or mine. (please insert smart-ass remark here), “_______________________________________”

19. You realize that Sebitchian is going to beat your ass for doing 20 Questions with us, right?
Ette and her posse threatened to tie me down and pull a Kathy Bates on me if I didn’t…I’d rather take the ass beating.

20. Time for Metal Sludge’s Word Association. We mention a name and you give us your thoughts.
Jon Bon Jovi = Rich
Chris Doliber = Lying thief
Maxine Petrucci = Bitch, Ugly lying thief
Sebastian Bach = Best friend, best singer I know…And chicks dig him.
Blackie Lawless = Big Flabby man titties.. And a lying thief.
Nikki Sixx = Rock
Paul Crook = Best friend. Reading tutor..
Paul Gargano = Very cool guy.
Poison = Not enough makeup.
Fred Durst = Who?…
Scott Ian = Very cool, Awesome tattoos
Gene Simmons = Richest man on earth
Snake Sabo = Made me a helluva potato omelet once!
Johnny Solinger = Who?..

Thanx Metal Sludge, and thanx Ette, and Jess, and Megan fer bein’ fuckin’ rippin’ Metal God-asses. I want to mention the road crew, T-Rod, Mohrshead, Brian, Larry, and Tommy!!! All Metal, always!!! Peace out…Unity in Diversity.

Now we haven’t had a good shit talking interview like that in a while!

Let’s recap a little bit of what we learned today:

Slaughter should call it a day (duh!)
Phil Varone and Rob Affuso aren’t good enough to play with Sebastian
He doesn’t think Kerry King would watch Skid Row open for Jackyl
Blackie Lawless has big flabby man titties and is a lying thief
Former Madame X bandmates are also lying thieves
Gary Cherone is a fag
Yngwie Malmsteen is a faggot
He thinks we’re hilarious and digs us!

Now after all that shit talking, plus the fact that he’s in Sebitchian’s very own band, we’ve decided Bam Bam deserves a Super Balls Award! Sebitchian has been known to be hostile towards people wearing Metal Sludge shirts, but now he has a member of his own band who actually did 20 Questions with us! And Bam Bam is a Sludgeaholic! Plus we haven’t given one out a Super Balls Award in a while and we’re feeling generous. Maybe we’re just happy to have a 20 Questions in! Maybe it was the comment that Blackie Lawless has big flabby man titties or the repeated use of the word fag. Who knows? Regardless, Bam Bam is now the recipient of our Super Balls Award:

THE SUPER BALLS AWARD!

Thanks to Ette for getting Bam Bam to do it!

Now that Bam Bam has stepped up, will his lead singer be next….?

For more info on Bam Bam, visit his website at www.bambam.isonfire.com