Metal Sludge The Power and the Glory
SLUDGETTES OF THE MONTH Merry Christmas Sludgeaholics! Our special gift for you this holiday season is not one Sludgette Of The Month, but TWO Sludgettes Of The Month! That’s two Sludgettes for the price of one! We discovered these two beautiful Sludgettes a few months back when they captured Betty Blowtorch and had their boobs groped. Any chicks that let other chicks grab their tits are the bomb! And not only that, but these two made their own bootleg Metal Sludge Barbed-Wire shirts! How rad is that? So welcome these two as our first dual Sludgettes Of The Month! Brittany’s & Starla’s Data Sheet 2. Ages: 3. Height: 4. Weight: 5. Measurements: 6. Where are you two from? 7. Ambitions: 8. Turn-ons: 10. What do you two do for a living? 11. Favorite bands: 12. How long have you two known each other and how did you meet? 13. Have you two ever kissed each other or taken a shower together? 14. If you could have dinner with 3 people alive or dead, who would they be? 15. What age did both of you lose your virginity? 16. How did you two make those red Metal Sludge shirts? You even used our barbed wire logo! 17. The way to my heart is: 19. Personal Motto: Congratulations to Brittany and Starla for being our Christmas 2001 Sludgettes Of The Month! 
Brittany and Starla
1. Names:
Brittany and Starla
B: 26
S: 32
B: 5’1″
S: 5’6″
B: 120lbs.
S: 120lbs.
B: 36-26-34
S: 35-25-36
Detroit area
B: To become a lifeguard on Baywatch.
S: To end up with the most toys at the end of the day.
B: Pamela Anderson, the smell of beer on a guys’ breath, tall, skinny dudes, exhaling smoke through the nostrils, guys who can rip a good one and labrets.
S: Anderson, not Lee? OK–long hair on hot babes, a nice ass with a washboard tummy to match, chocolate, cunnilingus OF COURSE!
B: Both Pams, she’s all beauty. 
9. Turn-offs:
B: Jocks with tight, disco shirts with their gold necklaces hanging on the outside, guys who assume I’m interested in them, rap music.
S: NO CUNNILINGUS, stupidity, B.O., arrogance and cockiness.
B: Hospital admissions in the Emergency Room. Official title: Bed Management.
S: I manage a record store. I love it!
B: Metallica, C.O.C., Journey, Crimson Glory, Prince, Betty Blowtorch, the new up & coming Broadzilla, Manimals and anything 80’s rock.
S: Skunk Anansie, Beautiful Creatures, Journey, Betty Blowtorch, Poison, Dokken, Bif Naked, Mariah Carey (yeah, I know!), Skid Row (Sebitchian rules, despite his arrogance and cockiness. Hey! I’m not doin’ the guy, he’s just being a rock star!), and just about any 80’s “hair band”.
S: Britt was working at Sound Warehouse in ’94 and I started dating her boss.
B: That was right before he fired me!
S: Don’t look at me…!
S: Yeah, one time at Band Camp…
B: Yeah…and what instrument did I play?!
S: My piccolo! Duh!
B: Freddie Mercury, Pamela Anderson and Jonathan Rhys Meyers.
S: Mariah Carey (do ya think she reads this?!?!), Antonio Banderas and Brad Pitt.
S: 15. It was horrible! I was bamboozled by the class whore. I thought it was true love. I’m not that naive anymore!
B: I’ll take the 5th.
B: Credit for that can go to Cinemafan and photography much appreciated by Laves.
S: Yeah, Cin has made many a rock star’s wardrobe!
B: The way one particular person took.
S: Honesty, loyalty and a good, hard fuck now and again and again and again… 
18. How do you two feel about being our Sludgettes Of The Month for December 2001?
B: It gives me gas. No really, I’m honored for the opportunity. There’s no one else I’d rather be Sludgette of the Month with than Starla.
S: I would like to thank God for my many talents, I would also like to thank the Academy. I love you Brittany! (waves, sniffles) You’re the bestest friend a chic could ever have. Now, where the HELL is my trophy!? Somebody get me some water!!
S: Be kind to one another. In the end that my be all you have.
B: You only live once, so don’t take any of this shit seriously.
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