Metal Sludge The Power and the Glory
SLUDGEAHOLIC OF THE MONTH
Jason Satterfield
This month’s Sludgeaholic Of The Month is old school. He’s been down since the early days and he’s not afraid to get in somebody’s face to defend the page. Plus he’s our first Sludgeaholic Of The Month to weigh in at over 300 pounds! And Metal Sludge has plenty of fat kid love, so we present our September 2001 Sludgeaholic Of The Month, Jason!
1. Where are you from?
Wilmington, OH – it’s a small town in between Columbus and Cincinnati. It’s cool because it’s within an hour of the major cities in the area, so I can always catch a good show.
2. Ambitions: To finally get my bachelor’s degree and make some serious bank. I wouldn’t mind a job at Elektra Records, because they need help in properly promoting the great bands they sign (How can you not make “Ready, Sex Go” a million seller?). If that falls through, I think I can get a job being Darrell Roberts’ guitar tech.
3. Turn-ons: My wife, big natural boobs, cold beer, good music, football, old-school NWA wrestling, New Orleans, Kirsten Dunst and Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley.
4. Turn-offs: Horrible music, annoying people (although I’m sure I have annoyed more than a few people in my life), aging rock stars who can’t come to terms with their dead careers, warm beer, CD’s from Cleopatra Records, and former Sludgettes of the Month who sing Sir Mix-A-Lot songs with their friends at concerts between sets. I won’t mention any names, but let’s just say that she was dethroned as Sludgette at one time.
5. What do you do for a living?
I work for one of the world’s largest catalog-sales based computer companies.
6. Any formal education?
Yes. Currently, I am a junior in college. I can only go part-time, so it’s taking me a while to get through. I should be done within the next couple years.
7. Favorite bands: KISS, Marvelous 3, Marilyn Manson, Guns n’ Roses, The Wildhearts, Pantera, Anthrax, Poison, Big Bang Babies, L.A. Guns, Faster Pussycat, Limp Bizkit, Metallica, Motley Crue, Beautiful Creatures, Life of Agony, Tenacious D, and the list goes on..oh yeah, and W.A.S.P. – up until two days ago.
8. Least favorite bands: Firehouse, almost all death metal bands, Creed, Three Doors Down, Days of The New, Oleander and all of the other new bands that sound like a third-rate Pearl Jam.
9. How long have you been coming to Metal Sludge?
Since the early days. One day I linked to the old Geocities page from a Britny Fox fan page or something. I thought it was the funniest shit I had ever seen. Ever since then, I have been checking the page out at least once a day.
10. How much do you weigh?
305 pounds…but I am 6′ 5″, so that kinda evens me out. I’m a big guy, but I don’t look like Yokozuna. I used to be alot thinner back in the day…if I wasn’t, I probably wouldn’t be with my wife! It’s cool, I have friends who are big like me…we all call each other fat.
11. When was the last time you got laid?
A few days ago. I’ve been with my wife for nearly 10 years. We got past that “fucking like bunnies” stage a long time ago.
12. My friends would describe me as: A pretty cool and funny guy. Most people refer to me as “the guy who knows everything about music”…so take that however you want. I don’t know everything, but I’m pretty knowledeagble about alot of bands and different genres of music. They would also say that I know how to have a good time.
13. If you could have sex with any of our Sludgettes Of The Month, who would it be?
I refuse to answer that on the grounds that it may incriminate me…uh, just kidding. Since I’m sure you’ll give me shit for not answering, I’ll say Helena Handbasket, but my wife says Chantel is more my type.
14. Any interesting talents?
Well, I wouldn’t call them interesting, but I have always been very artistic. This has led to my hobby of designing tour laminates and sticker passes for bands. I used to do this with a couple friends, but we’ve kinda lost touch, so we haven’t done anything in a while. We did work for the Marvelous 3, S.O.D., Quiet Riot, L.A. Guns, Hair of the Dog, and a few country acts. Even before doing that, I was always pretty good at scoring passes and getting to hang out backstage.
I can also put away a rack of ribs and a couple beers in about four minutes.
15. How do you feel being our Sludgeaholic Of The Month for September 2001?
I am totally honored, I never thought this would happen to me. Every time I would get a capture with my Sludge Swag on, someone else would send their photos in before me. Most importantly, I would like to thank W.A.S.P. and their courteous road crew for helping me attain this honor. What a great bunch of guys! Seriously though, I’d like to thank my wife for putting up with me going to shows all the time, my buds who go to the shows with me, and any band or musician who has ever taken the time to sign an autograph or take a picture.
16. Personal Motto: Be yourself, and if people don’t like you for who you are, fuck ‘em.
Congratulations to Jason for being our September 2001 Sludgeaholic Of The Month!
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