SLUDGEAHOLIC OF THE MONTH

SMILIN’ MIKE!

Our December Sludgeaholic of the Month is someone who’s become a recent Metal Sludge celebrity in his own right. Anyone who’s followed the saga of Smilin’ Mike over the past few months knows his face, but do we really know anything else about him? Apparently, some of you are curious. Here’s an e-mail we got a few days ago:

Smilin’ is so goofy he is downright COOL. He should come to a Sludge party in Los Angeles. I think it is time to do a 10 questions or make him Sludgeholic of the Month. Double score on his part.

Now that’s a great idea! Well, luckily for you, you’re about to find out a lot more about the enigmatic Smilin’ Mike, how he got his nickname, and why it took him so long to get a real Sludge Capture, because we went and made him our December 2004 Sludgeaholic of the Month! Ready to learn more about Smilin’ Mike? Good. Here we go.

1. Who are you, where are you from, and how old are you?

Smilin’ Mike, Born n Raised in Connecticut and still live here… I am 33…

2. Ambitions:

To be the best person I can possibly be in all aspects of my life… If I died tomorrow, the last thing I would want is for people to remember me as a fucking asshole whenever my name came up, so I try n do the best I can everyday…. Other ambitions are for me to be the best Uncle/GodFather I can to my Niece, own a home on the beach one day, and also, to one day maybe work out in SinCity, Las Vegas Baby.!!….

3. Turn-ons:

Girls, Girls, Girls of course… And its nice when they have a brain and a personality, and if you love Leopard Print as well, then thats a total plus in my book… I am a sucker for Leopard Print lol…Good conversation, a good laugh, a nice tan, a good joke, a great kisser, a great sense of humor, loud music, and a nice sexy smile/eyes wins me over for sure… I also LOVE the beautiful Island of Aruba, total paradise on Earth and the people there are so nice, you think you are on another planet… I also love concerts, going to shows and letting loose, there is nothing like it, except for good sex of course haha…. I also have been a huge wrestling fan from back in the day when Bob Backlund was the WWF Champ, before Hulk Hogan was even in the WWF…. My favorite back then was Magnificent Muraco, too funny…. He was the bad guy with Captain Lou Albano by his side lol… I was also a HUGE ECW Fan and still am, I wish they were still around, ECW was the best, they had the hardest working guys/girls anywhere, and being here in Connecticut, I went to alot of ECW house shows/TV Tapings/PPVs in NJ, CT, MA, it was the best, and Meanie, if you are reading this, Thank You for all the action/bloodshed/sweat/pain/tables/chairshots, and good times I had..!! I still have my BWO Shirt lol… We were the craziest fans in Wrestling ever… I am also a huge M*A*S*H fan, and I like to watch the news as well, if I have to choose, I would say I watch CNN the most, and fuck Fox News, fair n balanced my ass lol…

4. Turn-offs:

Rude, obnoxious, and greedy people with huge egos… I see it all too much at work, its sad….. I also cannot stand to see women who do not take care of themselves, meaning they don’t run a comb through their hair, or put any makeup on and they look like shit, and then they wonder why nobody will look at them…

5. How long have you been coming to Metal Sludge?

Wow, as far as I can remember, I first heard about Metal Sludge from none other than “The Rack” on KNAC.com, ya know, back when KNAC offered a totally FREE Broadband Stream…. It was the best, I would listen to KNAC and check out The Rack on the Studio webcam and there she was with a Metal Sludge Tank Top on, giving us all the finger(Thanks Vicki! I Still Love Ya!) and she would also read the news and say how “Metal Sludge Reports this or that, etc”, so I said to myself, “Let me check out this Metal Sludge” and here I am ever since… I know I got hooked, and yes, I will admit, I used to buy Metal EDGE before I knew of Sludge, or before Sludge was around, and the news in that rag was 3 fucking months old, so by the time we got the news, it was like who gives a shit lol…. And yes, the Editor at that time was one fucking Ugly Bitch too (No, not you Paul, the other editor) lol… I am glad to see Racky went onto bigger n better things as a program director for a radio station, good for her..!

Smilin’ Mike captures our “Hey, Now That’s What I Call Sludge! Vol. I” CD

6. Favorite bands:

Well I first started out on Zeppelin, Aerosmith, and KISS when I was about 7 years old… Aerosmith’s “Rocks” album is still one of my all-time favorites… Then I got into Van Halen,Ozzy n Sabbath, Old Metallica,Anthrax,and then I got into Guns n Roses, Poison, Cinderella, Motley Crue, Warrant, Dokken, TUFF (I got into Tuff after their MTV run believe it or not, some chick I knew turned me onto them) and my all time favorite SKID ROW, I love that band, and Sludge was the ones who informed me what a total Prick Bitch Boy is, when I read all the stories n posts, I was like what an asshole Baz is lol…Then I got into Alice in Chains bigtime, Godsmack, Marilyn Manson, Slipknot, Type O Negative (Get well Peter!) Velvet Revolver, and one of my bigtime favorites Disturbed… But there are so many others as well… I just got won over by this band I saw open for Marilyn Manson the day after Thanksgiving last week up in Boston, this band’s name is “SLUNT” (pretty neat word huh?! lol), they are out of NYC, and they fuckin rocked out bigtime… 2 hot babes, 1 sings lead n plays rhythm guitar and the other plays bass and backup vocals, and there are 2 dudes as well, one plays lead guitar and the other drums of course, but they totally blew me away… I got to meet them and talk to them after the show, they were all very cool, but security sucked and wouldn’t let me get a Sludge Capture goddam it! But when they saw my Sludge Shirt they were down for sure.. .If you are going to Marilyn Manson on this tour, get your ass there early and go see SLUNT cuz they rock…. P.S. Whats up Jenny Gunns!!

7. Least favorite bands:

Pearl Jam, The Darkness (I hate the way that fucker sings, like nails on a chalkboard), Guns n Bucketheads (That MTV performance made me fucking SICK lol), Metallica (now that they are not ALCOHOLICA anymore), Rammstein…I don’t know who else really, I don’t put much thought into music I hate, but also I will say I hate all those boy band(and girl band) fucks who don’t write their own music or lyrics, and are laughing all the way to the bank…Oh Yeah, I hate Jessica Simpson as well…

8. What do you do for a living?

I am a Dealer/Gaming Supervisor at a Casino…

9. Where does the name ?Smilin? Mike? come from, anyway? What the hell do you have to be so happy about?

I got that name back when I was in High School… We would hang out n party and I would just sit there with this big shit eating grin on my face all the time, and this one kid said, “Why are you always smilin all the time?!, I am gonna call ya Smilin Mike from now on”, and it stuck, next thing I know, everyone was calling me Smilin’ Mike or Smilin’, so I said why not use it for my email, etc online… Now 18 years later, they are calling me that at work now lol…

10. Yes or No, have you ever:

Gone Christmas caroling = No, But I would with Wednesday 13 as long as he wears a Santa Hat…

Gotten your tongue stuck to frozen metal = Well, not exactly my tongue haha…

Performed the Chicken Dance = I am waiting and hoping to make my Chicken Dance Debut on the Crue’s 2005 Reunion Tour on opening night with Vince n the gang…

Pleasured yourself in a sleigh = Yes, thinking about Chrissy the Talking Xmas Tree, haven’t you by now?!

Smoked a yuletide log = I hope to get mine smoked at the MSEX New Years’s Eve Party…!

Sat on Santa?s lap = I don’t give Lap Dances, I receive them, and most of the time for a fee lol…

Smilin’ Mike and Chrissy the Talking Christmas Tree
(Yes, we’re as baffled as everyone else reading this.)

11. If you could bang any one of our Sludgettes of the Month, which one would it be and why?

Amanda Moeckel… Her Sludgette pix were just too damn hot..! I love that one of her with the Hollywood sign in the background between her devil horns, very well done Amanda.!… Also, she is a fantastic artist as well, as I checked out her art website from the link off her Sludgette post… I know ya only said 1 Sludgette, but I also have to acknowledge both TinaLu and Ette, both are very beautiful n sexy as well

12. Of the following, which do you prefer and why?

Candy Canes or Hershey?s Kisses = Candy Canes, especially when a hot girly is licking n sucking on one…

Plum Pie or Figgy Pudding = I Love Pie if ya Smell What The Rock is Cookin…

Vince Neil or Tommy Lee = I prefer they both get their asses on stage next year with Nikki n Mick, but I have to go with Tommy Lee, since I got my 1st honest Sludge Capture with him, and also, he was so kind to autograph his “TommyLand” Autobiography to Bastard Boy Floyd for me LOL…Thanks Tommy, you were a great Sport, and ya didn’t even know it!! LOL…

Spiced Rum or Hot Toddies = I love to sip Captain Morgan’s Spiced Rum in Aruba on Palm Beach… Total Heaven…

Talking Christmas Trees or bears walking around the mall = Talking Christmas Trees are a little bit safer… Plus they sold that Bear in the Mall for like 30 Grand believe it or not…

The Year Without A Santa Claus or The Grinch that Stole Christmas = How about a Year Without Christmas?!… Goddam, its too much bullshit n headaches, and its too expensive… But also, I do like to see my Niece enjoy it, so I will go with a “Charlie Brown Christmas”, cuz thats one of her favorites…

13. Now that you know what Sludge Captures are all about, we?re compelled to ask: if you could get a capture with any 5 ?rock stars? or celebrities,living or dead, who would they be and why?

John Bonham – He was an awesome drummer who had his own style, and he left us way too early.. He is/was also a very big influence on my brother’s drumming and my bro has been playing drums for almost 30 years now and he kicks ass, and he is now one hell of a music teacher…

Tim Kelly – I would get the Capture, then shake his hand, and apologize to him for Sebitchian’s Stupid Fucking Comments… Bitch Boy certainly does not know how to keep a solid fan base… Wake up Baz, its not 1991 anymore, and Slave to the Grind is not #1 on the chart anymore… That was 13 years ago… I used to go out to see ya, and support your ass on your solo gigs after Skids, now I would rather give my hard earned money to wishing well in the casino instead of giving it to your sorry ass at your gigs…

Bastard Boy Floyd – Just because I want to talk to him about his Dental Hygeine for Christ’s Sake… Poor Guy… Floyd, it’s called Floss and Sonicare lol…

My Grandfather Joseph – He wasn’t a rock star or celebrity, but he is in my Dad’s eyes, and he died when I was very young, when I was like 3-4 years old, I would like to know him better, and sit with him and talk about stuff… From what I know of him, he was a great guy…

Tommy Lee – Oh wait, been there, DONE that!! LOL…. Thanks Again Tommy!

14. How has Metal Sludge most affected your life?

I love the Sludge cuz its a no bullshit, in your face media, if you don’t like it, they tell ya flat out, tough shit, and if ya love it, then go buy some Sludgendise like I have been and wave that Sludge flag at every show you go to or wherever else ya go… Even on my shittiest day, I know I can always come home, go on Metal Sludge and get a good laugh…

15. How do you feel about being our December 2004 Sludgeaholic of the Month?

I am very happy and honored to be the 2004 December Sludgeaholic, Thanks you guys… Let me say this though, for anyone who though I was a retard, idiot, or jerkoff, etc for doing all these “Stupid” Captures?.. Well yes, actually, the first set of my Captures from Ozzfest 2004, were exactly that, stupid, and honestly stupid… I wore my Sludge shirt at Ozzfest 2004 at both Hartford and Boston Ozzfest shows of course, and I just had my friends take pictures of whatever, as we walked around Ozzfest…. Then we (Sludge n Me) had an idea to run with it, and we did, meaning ME, getting crazy n stupid captures with whatever was odd… Some people actually thought I was serious about it from what I read on the gossip board, but I am happy to know, and relieved lol, that MOST of people actually GOT THE JOKE of it ALL…. Thats what METAL SLUDGE is all about, remember guys!? To laugh, laugh at yourself, and Not Take Yourself Too SERIOUSLY like some of these rock star fucks do, right Bitch Boy with the white boots!? LOL…. We, the fans are what make or break these bands, old or new, always remember that…

16. Personal Motto:

“I’d Rather Go Nowhere, Than Not Know Where Its At!”…. -Skid Row

So there you have it! Everything you ever wanted to know about Smilin’ Mike!

Now that he’s captured Tommy Lee and been made Sludgeaholic of the Month, is this the last we’ll ever see of him? We sure hope not! We think other Sludgeaholics can learn a lot from Smilin’ Mike’s drive and ambition, and he’s taught us all a thing or two about getting Sludge captures. So it’s our hope that he’ll keep at it and will continue to make frequent contributions to our Sludge Capture posts.

Congratulations to Smilin’ Mike for being our December 2004 Sludgeaholic of the Month!