Metal Sludge The Power and the Glory
Metal Sludge Invades American Metal Blast Tour!
Special Feature: Exclusive Interview with Blackie’s Mic Stand!!
The American Metal Blast Tour is currently rolling across the US of A, bringing the music of L.A. Guns, Stephen Pearcy and Metal Church to fans throughout America. W.A.S.P. is usually on the bill as well, but like last year they’ve already blown off a show or two. Past excuses have ranged from Blackie Lawless having pneumonia or food poisoning to his huge mic stand not fitting on the stage. Additionally, the band continues to be plagued by allegations that their live sound is augmented by the use of backing tracks. So before Blackie’s antics officially sideline the American Metal Blast Tour, we sent our very own American Metal Banana to document the drama!
As you may recall, we did something like this a few years ago when we sent our 2001 Sludgeaholic of the Year Jim Bob Dwarf to chronicle the Metal Edge Rock Fest. This time around, we had our 2003 Sludgeaholic of the Year C.C. Banana come up with a new batch of asinine questions and present them to members of the various bands. It’s sort of like our 20 Questions feature, but with a lot more questions and a lot more people! The Banana conducted a total of 9 interviews over the course of two nights, some on July 15 at the Starland Ballroom in Sayreville, NJ and some on July 17th at the Brookhaven Amphitheater in Farmingville, NY. As seen onstage behind C.C. Banana in the above photo, the Farmingville show even included a performance by Twisted Sister! But we’ll let the yellow bastard himself fill you in on the rest of the details:
C.C. Banana reunites with his MSX Tour co-host from July 4th 2003: Fingers from 102.3/WBAB! Looks like someone has been taking a few fashion tips from the Banana — check out the yellow shirt and sunglasses!
Hey there, Sludge!
As promised, here are some interviews with the members of the American Metal Blast Tour. In total, I managed to snag 3/4th of L.A. Guns, 4/5th of Metal Church and even one member of W.A.S.P.! Some of the Pearcy guys were up for it too, but for whatever reason it just never happened. Also, inspired by Blackie Lawless, I brought along my very own banana mic stand to conduct these interviews. If anyone has issues with the mic stand or if it does not fit inside the venue, I will abruptly cancel my appearance! It also came in especially handy for one interview in particular, but I’ll save that one for the end. In the meantime, enjoy the fruits of my labor!
B.A.N.A.N.A.
www.CCBanana.com
Alright now, everyone strap yourselves in for an exciting rocket ride through the American Metal Blast Tour 2005! Fasten your safety belts and keep your hands and arms inside the vehicle at all times, things might just get a little turbulent!
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Metal Church drummer Kirk Arrington
C.C. Banana and Kirk Arrington
Who are you and why should we care?
Kirk Arrington, Metal Church.
And what do you do for Metal Church?
I’m the drummer.
How long have you been drumming for Metal Church?
I’ve been drumming for the band since the conception, which was 1983/84. 21 years or so.
Wow! You don’t look that old.
Thank you! You know why? Because I eat a lot of fruit.
We keep you regular, you know.
Yeah, you do! You do! Very much so.
Which band on this tour is consistently impressing you the most?
You know what, all the bands are consistently impressing me every night. It’s a very good tour, all the bands are getting along really good. There’s really no big egos, there’s no big problems, everybody’s gelling. So I would have to say each and every one, because I spend a lot of time every night on the side of the stage watching all the guys, you know? Stet, the drummer for W.A.S.P. is a hell of a guy, awesome drummer! So they’re all great. It’s a great bill. We’re having a lot of fun out here with these guys.
How many of Stephen Pearcy’s past bands can you name?
Uhhh…. (thinking) Zero. Ratt!
Very good. He was in Zero and Ratt.
Well, that’s one, I guess. My math is not that good.
Stephen Pearcy on stage during the American Metal Blast Tour with his current band (not Ratt, Mickey Ratt, Arcade, Vertex, Nitronic, Vicious Delite / V.D. or any other Pearcy bands we may have forgotten)
How many past and present members of W.A.S.P. can you name?
Blackie Lawless… and, uh… and Steve Riley. And Stet. God, I can name them all, actually, but right now I’m having a big brain fade.
Have any members of the tour come down with food poisoning or pneumonia?
I think our T-shirt guy, Lumpy. The first 4 days he had a little touch of food poisoning.
Hopefully no bad fruit, though.
No bad fruit! As a matter of fact, I keep telling him to eat more fruit! I’m gonna share a little bit of my diet here: I eat lots of vegetables and lots of fruit because I am an insulin-dependent diabetic. So fruits and vegetables are very important to me. You must get at least 4 or 5 helpings of fruits and vegetables a day. And even if you’re healthy and you have a great pancreas, you need to eat lots of fruits and vegetables.
It keeps you looking young, too.
It does. It really does. I’m 43 years old and I’m still playing in a rock band. But you know what, I’m basically still a kid. I refuse to grow up.
That’s okay. I’m wearing a banana suit. I know all about not growing up.
How many pounds do you think Jani Lane will lose on VH1’s "Celebrity Fit Club?"
You know what, you’re really not going to like this one at all, because I don’t even know who the hell you’re talking about.
Jani Lane?
I’ve been on the road, rocking, you know… I don’t hear things. Who in the hell is Jani Lane?
At this point, everybody watching the interview cracks up!
Why do you think George Foreman named all his kids George?
You know how when you’re growing up and you have brothers and sisters? And your mom or dad gets frustrated with you and they’re going, "Steve! Tim! Kevin!" And they name the dog and everybody else but they still don’t get your name right? That’s why.
What weighs more: all the members of Metal Church or Blackie’s mic stand?
Hands down, it would have to be the giant Skeletor pogo stick! Its name is Elvis, by the way. That’s what they call him. Every time the crew hauls him out and puts him in the trailer it’s like, "Elvis has left the building!"
Never heard of Jani Lane? That’s priceless! Just the perfect answer! Thank you, Kirk, for making our day! For more information about fruits, vegetables and diabetes, visit:
www.MetalChurch.com
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L.A. Guns guitarist Stacey Blades
C.C. Banana and Stacey Blades (not Tracii Guns)
Who are you and why should we care?
Stacey Blades. What kind of questions are these gonna be?
Just a couple of random things about the tour, about rock & roll, about your haircut, whatever.
I’ll try to keep a straight face.
This is C.C. Banana and we’re talking to Stacey Blades (as opposed to Tracii Guns) of the band L.A. Guns. Was your name "Stacey Blades" inspired by the name "Tracii Guns?"
You know, it’s weird. I actually came up with the name when I was about 16. You basically invent the persona. Steven Tyler said it best: "You act like that person until you become that person."
You fake it ’til you make it!
That’s right.
I know what you mean. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a plantain. And look at me now!
How old do you think Phil Lewis really is?
Uhhh… 30.
He must pay you well, too.
Stacey Blades stands idly by as C.C. Banana gets groped by the 30-something-something Phil Lewis.
What do you think Chris Holmes is doing right now?
Trying to tie his shoes. No disrespect intended.
How many Olsen twins are there?
Two.
How many Thompson Twins were there?
Three.
When do you think Axl Rose will finally release "Chinese Democracy?"
When he’s buried.
How do you think the next Brides of Destruction album will sell, now that Nikki Sixx has left the band?
You know, we wish Tracii all the best. He’s got his own thing going and we hope his album does well.
How many original members should a band have in order to be allowed to use the name?
I’d say at least 2 or 3.
Have you ever visited the gravesite of Jack La Lane?
Who’s that?
The exercise guru.
Oh, that Jack La Lane! I plan to do so very soon.
NOTE: Jack La Lane is not actually dead. In fact, we just saw him on TV the other day pimping his own juicing machine. But he’s almost as old as Phil Lewis, so he’s probably close to death by now.
Who’s hotter: The Bangles or Vixen?
The Bangles.
How long before Vince Neil and Tommy Lee beat the crap out of each other, causing the Motley Crue reunion tour to crash and burn?
I think they’ve got to visit their therapists first. Their lawyers have to work that out.
What is your favorite thing about Metal Sludge?
Uhhh… gosh, how can I word this? "Invoking reading material." NOTE: We’re pretty sure Stacey meant something like "enticing reading material" or "provocative reading material," but we’ll let him slide since he was kissing our ass.
What is your favorite fruit?
Bananas!
Why is that new Kelly Clarkson song so damn catchy?
Because she’s so damn hot.
If you had to kill one member of the tour because he was being an asshole, how would you take him out?
Shove a banana up his ass!
For more "invoking reading material" with Stacii or Tracey or whatever his name is, visit:
www.LAGuns.net
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Metal Church guitarist Jay Reynolds
C.C. Banana and Jay Reynolds
Who are you and why should we care?
Jay Reynolds, lead guitar, Metal Church. And assorted other bands.
Oh, really? What other bands did you play with?
Malice, Megadeth… very old version of Megadeth. Five months recording "So Far, So Good… So Fuckin’ What!"
How many members of this tour are showering on a regular basis?
Ummm… 3 to 5 at any given time. But not together.
Is it true that Blackie’s mic stand demands its own dressing room and sound check?
Hey man, that’s Satan’s pogo stick! It can do whatever it wants!
Is it weird to you that there is currently nobody named "Guns" in the band L.A. Guns?
Hey, we got Blades! Blades is as good as Guns any day, man.
How many of Stephen Pearcy’s past bands can you name?
Ratt!
Any more?
Ratt!
Very good.
And Mickey Ratt!
What do you think of a band using backing tracks during a live performance?
Really? They do that? Well, I’ve done it before, so… uh… I guess if you have a drummer who can pull off that kind of stuff, more power to you. But we don’t do it. We don’t need to.
What is your favorite piece of Kiss merchandise?
The Kiss G-string!
Threre’s a Kiss G-string?
Yeah!
Wow.
Use your imagination, Mr. Banana.
Why do you think Eddie Van Halen is still smoking after having undergone treatment for tongue cancer?
Because he’s an addict!
What do you think we should be doing in Iraq?
Leave! And on that note, I am going to leave. 12 Questions with Jay Reynolds. We didn’t make 20, but it’s cool. You guys rock, and thank you very much!
Sounds like Jay is a genuine Sludgeaholic! Who knows, maybe we’ll hit him up for a full 20 Questions at some point. In the meantime, visit him at:
www.MetalChurch.com
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Metal Church vocalist Ronny Monroe
C.C. Banana and Ronny Monroe
(who seems to be inappropriately grabbing at something below the frame)
Who are you and why should we care?
Ronny Monroe, and I’m from Seattle, Washington. And I care about myself and only myself.
Okay.
I’m just kidding.
And what are you doing on the tour?
What am I doing on the tour?
What is your role in this operation?
I am the lead singer in Metal Church.
That’s wonderful!
Yes.
Are you any good?
People tell me that. I’m in therapy, though.
What are you in therapy for?
Because I talk to myself at night.
What do you say to yourself?
After the show I just go, "Dude, you sucked!"
That’s okay, we all do that. We all say, "Dude, Ronny sucked!"
I don’t wear underwear, either.
Have any members of the tour come down with food poisoning or pneumonia?
Not as of yet. But I’ve got a rash on my ass.
Is it from not wearing underwear?
It just won’t go away.
That’s okay. What was your name again? Donny? Ronny?
Dick Johnson.
How many past and present members of W.A.S.P. can you name?
Well, Chris Holmes. He drinks about as much as I do. Uhhh… I don’t really know. I love the line-up right now.
What’s the line-up right now?
Uhhh… (thinking) Stet, Darrell, Mike and Blackie.
What weighs more: all the members of Metal Church or Blackie’s mic stand?
I think the mic stand, actually.
Why do you think Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley refuse to retire Kiss?
Money. Oh, and the fans!
What did you think when it was mistakenly reported that Lemmy was bi-sexual?
Well, I have nothing against pole smokers… (laughs) No, I’ve met him many, many times and he’s a great guy. And to me, sexual preference is really not a big thing.
How do you think the next Brides of Destruction album will sell, now that Nikki Sixx has left the band?
He left the band? Wasn’t it his band? Okay, well… actually, I really didn’t like Brides of Destruction, myself. I’m more of a metal fan. Iron Maiden, Dio, Judas Priest, stuff like that.
What did you think of the last "Star Wars" movie?
I haven’t seen it yet.
Do you like "Star Wars?"
I’m not a big fan.
Do you like "Star Trek?"
No.
Do you like "Stargate?"
No.
Do you like stargazing?
No.
Do you like star fruit?
No.
Do you like fruit at all?
Uhhh…
Do you like bananas?
Actually, I’m a fruit salesman on the weekends.
Is that true? You sell my brothers and sisters, do you? That’s prostitution!
I have a Kool-Aid stand and I sell fruit.
For more information on lead vocalist and weekend fruit pimp Ronny Monroe, visit:
www.MetalChurch.com
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W.A.S.P. drummer Stet Howland
C.C. Banana and Stet Howland
What’s going on, man? How are you?
Hello, Mr. Howland.
How are you doing, brother? I love you!
It’s a pleasure to meet you. Have you actually heard of me?
Yeah!
You really have?
Yeah, man!
Oh, I’m flattered! Would you want to do a quick interview? Would that be okay?
Sure. I’ve got a couple things to say that might be amusing.
Which band on this tour is consistently impressing you the most?
Oh, my God! Uhhh… you know, that’s a tough question to answer. These guys are all killer. I was probably the least familiar with Metal Church and they’ve been just blowing my ass away every night. But everybody’s great, I gotta say. I try to get ready in the dressing room, and I’ll be listening to Stephen’s set and I’ll hear "Wanted Man" and I’ll have to run out and stand by the side of the stage. You know, in and out, in and out! Same thing with L.A. Guns. And Metal Church is just kicking my ass, man. I love ‘em all, but the one I was least familiar with was Metal Church and they’ve been blowing my nuts off every night.
Wow, that’s a little erotic.
Is that C.C.?
At this point a bosomy fan approaches and interrupts the interview!
The Banana inspects the melons!
C.C.!
How’s it going, sweetie?
C.C.’s my loooooove…
I’m happy to see you tonight.
I have a thing for bananas.
Well, it goes on like this for a while but we’ll spare you the sordid details. Needless to say, C.C. Banana ultimately manages to pull his eyes away and carry on with the interview.
How many members of this tour are showering on a regular basis?
I think everybody’s getting themselves washed up, as far as I can tell. I’m a fanatic, I can’t play a show without a shower. I gotta shower! So I’m definitely showering every day and from what I see, everybody else is too. I think these guys actually have showers on their buses.
What do you have on your bus?
Our bus just has DVD players! We actually get hotels.
Very nice.
Yeah, we’re fancy.
What do you think it would take for W.A.S.P. to have a new hit single in today’s music scene?
I don’t know… maybe something like a soundtrack to a movie or something like that. I don’t really know what it would take, man. We have no delusions of grandeur. It’s tough to break radio nowadays. So I’m just gonna say… a marvelous miracle. Blackie’s a great writer, don’t get me wrong. The writing is amazing. The guy’s amazing.
It’s not about talent anymore.
No, it certainly isn’t.
How many of Stephen Pearcy’s past bands can you name?
Uhhh… Arcade, V.D., Mickey Ratt… I think that’s it for me, as far as I know. I just love that guy. He’s a sweetheart.
At this point, someone in the crowd shouts out a question to C.C. Banana!
What kind of banana wears Coke bottle glasses and an $8 watch?
Just the sexy ones! Thank you!
Why do you think Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley refuse to retire Kiss?
Would you? (laughs) Why would they?
Why do you think Eddie Van Halen is still smoking after having undergone treatment for tongue cancer?
I don’t know. Why am I still drinking when my liver’s ready to fall off? I don’t know.
Why do you think George Foreman named all his kids George?
Because he’s a fuckin’ nut! (laughs) But I love him, too. I’m in a loving mood today. You should have talked to me yesterday.
What happened yesterday?
Nah, I’m just fuckin’ with you. I’m always in a good mood.
How many Olsen twins are there?
Definitely 2.
How many Thompson Twins were there?
2.
Oh, so close!
3?
2 white folks and a black guy.
Oh, I know who they are. I guess the twins were the only ones who counted. I’d hate to be that other guy.
How many past and present members of W.A.S.P. can you name?
Oh God, I can name them all! Are we talking studio or live? Jeez, you got Johnny Rod, Randy Piper, uh, Steve Riley, Tony Richards, uh, myself, Doug Blair, uh… Blackie, obviously… Chris Holmes… how’s that? Not bad, Stet. But not only did you forget Frankie Banali and Bob Kulick, you also forgot Darrell Roberts and Mike Duda… both of whom are currently in the band!
C.C. Banana and Mike Duda (who politely declined C.C.’s request for an interview)
What do you think Chris Holmes is doing right now?
I just saw Holmes! Uhhh… in January. I don’t know, I think he was working on his own stuff or something. Holmes is a survivor! He’ll always be alright. I love that guy, too. Is there anyone I hate? Let me think… I gotta get some hate going.
Have any members of the tour come down with food poisoning or pneumonia?
Not yet! No, we’re pretty healthy this time around. And we’re getting fed really well and everything’s really good, man. Everybody’s good to each other here, throughout the four bands. We eat like pigs and we drink like sailors!
Is it true that Blackie’s mic stand demands its own dressing room and sound check?
Absolutely! (laughs) Uh, no dressing room but it has its own bay on the bus. It takes up a bunch of luggage space. It’s pretty cool. Rolling art. It’s a nice piece.
Wow! That was pretty cool of Stet to answer our interview questions like that. Especially considering how hard we’ve been on his boss lately. It actually sounded like he was already familiar with our honorary ambassador C.C. Banana, so that might have had something to do with it. For more information on the freshly showered drummer, visit:
www.WASPNation.com
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Metal Church bassist Steve Unger
C.C. Banana and Steve Unger (with Kirk Arrington)
This is C.C. Banana and I’m talking to… I’m so sorry, I don’t know who you are.
Steve Unger.
And what do you do in Metal Church?
I’m the bass player.
Have you been with them long?
Long enough.
I ask because I know there have been many versions of Metal Church.
Yes, there have been.
How many years have you been with the band?
About 3 and 1/2 years.
Which band on this tour is consistently impressing you the most?
Hey, you can’t single me out and ask that, man! (laughs) Uhhh, let’s see here… I’ve been a W.A.S.P. fan since I was a kid, back in the day… uhhh, L.A. Guns and the Ratt guys are great. We’re having a great time with them. So I mean, I can’t really say that one band is standing out more than the other. All I can do is give my 100% to Metal Church every night and get along with all the other bands, you know, night after night.
How old do you think Phil Lewis really is?
Phil! Uh, my guess would be… 40.
Wow, you really want to be on this tour, don’t you!
What weighs more: all the members of Metal Church or Blackie’s mic stand?
Uhhh, Blackie’s mic stand.
How much do you think it weighs?
I’d say it’s got to weigh about 600 pounds.
Do they let you touch it?
Uhhh… I don’t think so.
Do they make you move it?
No. They got their own guys for that.
How many pounds do you think Jani Lane will lose on VH1’s "Celebrity Fit Club?"
He needs to lose about 50!
When do you think Axl Rose will finally release "Chinese Democracy?"
I don’t think Axl Rose knows anything about democracy.
Tell us one good Gene Simmons story.
Gene Simmons is my fuckin’ idol! I could tell you a bunch of Gene Simmons stories. As a matter of fact, I have his book on the bus right now. "Kiss & Money" or "Kiss & Tell," I think that’s what it is. Uhhh, a story about Gene Simmons… well, I met him and Paul backstage in Seattle. They called my kid up on stage! Yeah, that was great! I was in the front row with my boy, who was 5 years old at the time, and Paul Stanley pulled him up on the stage, gave him his guitar… him and Gene came down, high-fiving him, giving him picks and everything. They invited us backstage and just hung out with us for about a half an hour. I didn’t have a camera, as luck would have it, so Paul grabs some chick from backstage and asks her to take a picture. He asked for my address and I’m thinking, this ain’t really gonna go down! But I gave him my address anyway and, no shit, 2 weeks later he sends a bunch of 8 x 10’s, a bunch of 5 x 7’s, and a little thank-you note saying how nice it was to meet my son. That’s a really nice story, Steve. Although technically, it’s more of a Paul Stanley story than a Gene Simmons story. If it was a Gene Simmons story, it would end with a bill from Gene for the photos and the guitar picks. But we appreciate the effort.
That’s amazing!
Yeah. You know, I’ve been a Kiss fan since I was my kids’ age. And to be a fan of the band for that long, and then to actually see them follow through on something like that, I was just fucking blown away.
Why is that new Kelly Clarkson song so damn catchy?
Because she’s hot. And she needs to be spanked.
What did you think of the last "Star Wars" movie?
The "Star Wars" movie kicks ass, my kids love it.
How many of Stephen Pearcy’s past bands can you name?
Ratt! That’s about it, man.
Do you know what band Darrell Roberts was in right before joining W.A.S.P.?
No.
Have any members of the tour come down with food poisoning or pneumonia?
Not yet.
What do you think Chris Holmes is doing right now?
Uh, wishing he was on the tour.
What do you think of a band using backing tracks during a live performance?
Hey, whatever they need to do to make it come across live. But myself, I like a band that can do things live. When we record in the studio, I don’t want to record a bunch of stuff that we can’t do live. Because I don’t want to have to play to a click track or anything else, you know? If the band can’t it play live, then they shouldn’t record it in the studio.
How many past and present members of W.A.S.P. can you name?
Well, let’s see here… uh… Blackie Lawless… uhhh… well, there’s Stet, the drummer… Mike Duda… so I know the present line-up. Was Steve Riley in there? I think he was in W.A.S.P. for awhile, right?
He was! That?s true.
Now he’s in L.A. Guns. And… that’s about all I can think of right now.
Can I have a hug?
Awww…
Steve Unger cops a feel of C.C.’s Banana!
At this point, Metal Church drummer Kirk Arrington returns!
How are you doing, Kirk?
Good, man! Can I get in there?
Kirk proceeds to worm his way into Steve’s interview and photo shoot.
Hey, I never did ask you how you feel about people making bread out of bananas.
Oh, I’m not a big fan of that.
You’re not a big fan?
No. I’ve lost uncles, aunts, all kinds of ex-girlfriends… all into the banana bread.
I want to buy that suit off you! I could be the double bass banana or something!
We could collaborate sometime, sure.
Let’s do that! If you ever need a banana tech, I’m there for you.
You guys could crossbreed or something.
We could get a couple of buddies dressed like apples and grapes and be the Fruit of the Loom guys!
Thanks, Kirk.
Behave, man!
For more information on the man brave enough to admit that he bought a Gene Simmons book, visit Steve at:
www.MetalChurch.com
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L.A. Guns vocalist Phil Lewis
C.C. Banana and Phil Lewis (with hair in his eyes)
Which band on this tour is consistently impressing you the most?
Metal Church.
How many of Stephen Pearcy’s past bands can you name?
Ummm… a few.
How old do you think Phil Lewis really is?
Who knows?
Gotta count the rings.
That’s right.
When do you think Axl Rose will finally release "Chinese Democracy?"
Who cares?
How long before Vince Neil and Tommy Lee beat the crap out of each other, causing the Motley Crue reunion tour to crash and burn?
You know, I figure if it hasn’t happened yet, chances are pretty good that they’re gonna get through. Uh, there was a little drama… I have a friend, Ava Vincent. She’s kind of a porn star friend of mine and she was invited to do sort of a Vegas thing with them. It’s in one of the recent Penthouse issues, actually. And Tommy and Vince got in a little spat over Ava, because Vince liked her and then all of a sudden Tommy was hitting on her, then Vince ran in the back and threw a hissy fit… this all coming from my friend Ava, of course. And I believe you’ll find all this in Penthouse, if you can track it down. But I figure, they’ve been like that forever. Nothing’s gonna change.
What is your favorite fruit?
Mangos.
I’m not offended.
Why do you think George Foreman named all his kids George?
(shrugs) Who’s George Foreman?
What did you think of the last "Star Wars" movie?
Not much. You know, all this fucking so-called highbrow shit, like "Star Wars" and "Lord of the Rings," all this stuff… it bores me to DEATH.
Is it weird to you that there is currently nobody named "Guns" in L.A. Guns?
Nooo… I mean, you know, there’s a band called W.A.S.P. without somebody called Johnny Wasp, you know?
How many original members should a band have in order to be allowed to use the name?
27.
4 of the 27 members of L.A. Guns performing on the American Metal Blast Tour.
What do you think of a band using backing tracks during a live performance?
I personally don’t think it’s very cool, but if it makes ‘em sound good and people are happy about it, uh… Sometimes you expect that, you know? Something symphonic, you know, it makes sense. People want to go out and hear a raw, live 4-piece rock & roll band, they don’t want to hear backing tracks. You know, we used to use them and it was a catastrophe! We used to do "Malaria" and stuff, and we’d have these huge, choral backgrounds and nobody would be at the mic! Nobody! And our monitor guy would have his 10 fingers pressed down on a keyboard. But we just didn’t care, you know? It was just something that we explored. But really… never, ever again.
If you had to kill one member of the tour because he was being an asshole, how would you take him out?
Ice pick to the brain.
Do you wish you were on the Rock Never Stops tour instead?
At this point, Phil begins to laugh like an insane hyena! Seriously, it sounds like he’s doing an impression of the Joker or something! And it goes on for about 15 seconds! That’s fantastic! I love that question! Oh man, that was good! Phil continues to laugh hysterically as he walks away.
For more information on the Hobbit-hating Phil Lewis, visit:
www.LAGuns.net
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L.A. Guns drummer Steve Riley
C.C. Banana and Steve Riley
Who are you and why should we care?
Why should you care? Because I’m the drummer from L.A. Guns and we’re the only band that’s had 27 members in it.
Which band on this tour is consistently impressing you the most?
Well, you know, I don’t want to be biased, but I think that we’re doing a great show every night. But I got to really give props to every band on this tour. Everybody really is playing well. Pearcy and the guys in W.A.S.P., they’re just playing the hell out of it. Metal Church turned out to be some of the strongest rockers we’ve toured with. So we’re happy. Everybody’s just blasting right now, it’s great.
How old do you think Phil Lewis really is?
Uhhh… maybe a year younger than me.
Do you know what band Darrell Roberts was in right before joining W.A.S.P.?
I do know that! Because I know he was playing with Tuff. I either read it or heard it from somebody. I kinda hear about what’s going on in W.A.S.P. because I played with them before. But I found that out… maybe through you guys! I think I found it out from Metal Sludge, that he was with Tuff. And by the way, he’s a really good guitar player and a nice guy.
Is it weird to you that there is currently nobody named "Guns" in L.A. Guns?
I don’t think so because, you know, L.A. Guns is sort of like a… it’s a strange band. It’s almost like a movement. It’s like, people come in and out of the band. The one thing you need with a band that has a lot of history to it and a lot of years behind it, is you need the original vocalist in the band. And Phil Lewis, and just about any other lead vocalist in a band that’s been around that long… it’s such a signature to all the songs. Their sound, their style, their vocals… whether you’re into their vocals or not. And so, you know, I don’t think it really matters. We love Trace, we miss Trace, we know he’s doing what he wants to do right now. And we’re barreling on and we’re having a good time, you know?
When do you think Axl Rose will finally release "Chinese Democracy?"
Oh wow, what a question. I don’t know. That is the $64,000 question, because that thing should be done, man. And it should be good, too! I’m expecting something that’s pretty good, you know? I don’t know, but to predict a release date… that’s a hard one.
Who’s hotter: The Bangles or Vixen?
I like Vixen, because they were more rock, you know? Although the lead singer of The Bangles was cute.
What did you think when it was mistakenly reported that Lemmy was bisexual?
I didn’t hear that! But you know what, I don’t know where that could come from. Because Lemmy’s one of a kind, and I think he’s the furthest thing from being bisexual. That guy loves chicks! I think anybody who even knows him slightly knows that. But wow, that’s a strange rumor.
How many pounds do you think Jani Lane will lose on VH1’s "Celebrity Fit Club?"
Good question. You know what, that guy is such a talented guy that if he puts his mind to it he could probably put himself completely back together, you know? And I’m counting on him to do it. He’s a friend and I’m hoping that he can just put it all together because he’s got so much talent. I really hope he does.
Have you ever visited the gravesite of Jack La Lane?
I have never. Where is it?
He’s not dead, actually.
Ahhh, this is why! But I’ll bet his dogs are dead.
Why do you think Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley refuse to retire Kiss?
Money, money, money, money, money! Steve sings this to the tune of "For the Love of Money" by the O’Jays! Or the Bullet Boys, for you folks under 40.
What do you think Chris Holmes is doing right now?
Oh, Chris, my brother! I love him and I wish he was out playing right now, even if it wasn’t on one of the bands on this Metal Blast Tour. I wish he was playing right now because there’s another talented guy that I’m still pulling for, to pull it all together and put out something really good. But uh… we all love him.
If you had to kill one member of the tour because he was being an asshole, how would you take him out?
I would take him out by putting an ice pick right through the back of his head, nice and quiet and slowly. I think that might do the job.
NOTE: For those of you jumping ahead and reading these interviews out of order, this is the same response given by Phil Lewis! Ice pick to the head! Sounds to us like these two may have already discussed this at some point. Stay tuned for further developments!
How many past and present members of W.A.S.P. (including yourself) can you name?
I think I can name a lot of them. I can name Blackie, uh, Chris Holmes, Randy Piper, myself, Tony Richards, uh, Frankie Banali, Stet Howland, and let me see now… come on now… there is this new guy, Darrell the guitar player, Mike Duda the bass player… so I think I can name a bunch of them! I still know a lot about W.A.S.P.
What weighs more: all the members of L.A. Guns or Blackie’s mic stand?
Oh, Blackie’s mic stand! By the way, it catches a lot of flack but it’s something that’s really special. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything quite like it. And if you see it up close, the way he works it, it’s pretty special. I mean, I know he’s catching a lot of shit about it, because it is such a big prop to deal with. But wow, it’s an original thing and all of us in L.A. Guns, we’re impressed by it. We thought it was an insane thing.
Has he let you ride it?
No, no, no! We won’t even go near it!
It’s always cool to hear from rockers who read our site. Thanks, Steve! For more information on the only person in the world older than Phil Lewis, visit:
www.LAGuns.net
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Exclusive Interview with the W.A.S.P. mic stand!
The W.A.S.P. mic stand gets interviewed by the B.A.N.A.N.A. mic stand!
W.A.S.P. has been earning themselves a lot of bad press lately for blowing off shows and for allegedly using backing tracks during their live performances. Like last year, Blackie’s enormous 1,000-pound mic stand is often at the center of this controversy. Some have even accused it of providing the backing vocals! In effort to get to the bottom of these allegations, we sent C.C. Banana to nab this exclusive interview with Blackie’s mic stand. To keep a level playing field, C.C.’s own mic stand conducted the interview on his behalf.
The W.A.S.P. mic stand in action during the American Metal Blast Tour!
What’s the best way to mount a mic stand like yourself?
On Your Knees.
What’s it like having Blackie Lawless climb up and swing around on you every night?
The Torture Never Stops.
How do you endure the pain of having a 200+ pound singer standing on your spine?
Scream Until You Like It.
How do you feel when W.A.S.P. cancels a show because you’re too big or heavy for the stage?
B.A.D.
Do you think maybe you should consult a physician about losing some of your excess weight?
I Don’t Need No Doctor.
Can you comment on the allegations that you have been providing backing vocals during the live performances?
I Can’t.
Rumor has it that you will be going solo after the W.A.S.P. tour is over. Why?
I Wanna Be Somebody.
What do you think of Michael Jackson’s current skin tone?
Still Not Black Enough.
What about Chris Rock?
Black Forever.
Which W.A.S.P. track do you think would be the perfect theme song for C.C. Banana?
Bananimal (Fruit Like a Beast).
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Well, there you have it, faithful Sludgeaholcis! A first-hand look behind the scenes of the American Metal Blast Tour, courtesy of everybody’s favorite fruit, C.C. Banana! We have to thank the Banana for yet another job well done. We figured his George Lucas encounter would be a tough act to follow, but getting an exclusive interview with Blackie’s mic stand is pretty damned amazing! And it didn’t hurt that he also got interviews with members of Metal Church, L.A. Guns and W.A.S.P. along the way. Oh, and even though C.C. Banana wasn’t able to interview anyone from Twisted Sister, he did send us the following captures:
C.C. Banana and Eddie Ojeda
C.C. Banana and AJ Pero
In closing, we’d like to thank Dave the tour manager for helping to make these interviews possible. We’d also like to thank Danny and Steve for having the Banana’s back, and Louie V. from da Bronx for assisting with the L.A. Guns interviews! Thanks to Sludgettes DefLepChick and Laura (as well as non-Sludgette J.C. Banana) for the fine photos accompanying this article. And of course, thanks to all the bands on the American Metal Blast Tour for having a sense of humor and rolling with the punches. Especially Stet Howland, who will probably get his ass fired just for talking to us. Overall, this tour sounds very cool and we definitely recommend checking it out when it comes to your town. That is, just so long as you realize that an appearance by W.A.S.P. is never guaranteed.
Metal Sludge
Ambushing Rock Bands Since 1998
