20 QUESTIONS WITH

X-W.A.S.P. Guitarist RANDY PIPER!

It’s fairly clear why Randy Piper didn’t last long in W.A.S.P. or go anywhere after his departure. Randy even had a shot with Alice Cooper, but it lasted all of a few weeks. Wonder why he couldn’t hold that gig? Well, probably because he’s a fucking moron. It’s no secret that many in the industry think Blackie is a tool, but he like Gene Simmons is ALL business and without a doubt has an agenda. Getting this clown out of W.A.S.P. and moving along was clearly a smart move early on. By the sounds of Mr. Pipers current intellect at 40+ years of age, if not 50 he is as about as smart as a bag of broken guitar strings. Sure it’s great to have an opinion, and be a prankster too, but when you come off like a 5th grader in a chat room talking shit, it just doesn’t look good. Hey Randy, congratulations, you come across like a real fucking  toolbox in this interview!

1. You know the drill, plug your band, website, merchandise and projects?

Animal, animalcave.net

2. Okay, it’s a sure thing that you can unload some Sludge about the Randy Piper & W.A.S.P. breakup. What really happened? Ready, Set, Sludge.

Blackies Idea for the 3rd album was him on the back like this hi m on the front like this and when you open it up its Blackie like this….. in the middle

3. What happened with the Alice Cooper stint back in 1986. A month or two seems pretty short?

I never knew alice had heart problems  when did he get a stint

4. What hard rock/heavy metal band should give it up and call  it a day?

STRYPER- because Pat Robertson thenks they should be taken out

5. Rate guitarists 1-10. A 1 being someone who sucks donkey balls, and a 10 being a Guitar God.

Chris Holmes =  depends white or black donkey balls

Mick Mars = 10

CC DeVille = on coke or off coke

Michael Schenker = 10

Kane Roberts = Didn’t abel kill kane??

Chris Laney = 20 he’s got 2 personalities

Darrell Roberts = WHO?

Bruce Kulick = 10

Eddie Van Halen = 10

Blackie Lawless = when did he learn to play the guitar?

6. Chris Holmes joined Animal for a while. How did that come about, and why is he no longer involved?

we ran an AD in hustler magazine.. We Cancelled the AD

7. Chris also stayed on board in W.A.S.P. for many years after you r  departue. Have you talked to him lately and was his most recent break up with Blackie similar to yours?

Yeah,he called wanting to know why we cancelled the AD… I left,but Blackie cheated on him

8. Back in 1985 Metallica, Armored Saint & W.A.S.P. toured as a package. What do you remember good or bad about that 3 band bill?

IT WAS A FUCKING BLAST

9. Give the Sludgeaholics 3 reasons why they should give a fuck about the band Animal?

our songs don’t suck

our music doesn’t suck

we do not suck

10.  Memory Lane with 80s Bands. What comes to mind when you hear the following band names?

Keel = trying to get my dog to calm down

Black n’ Blue = my ex girlfriends eyes

Poison = something for blackies coffee

Accept = really… who puts thier balls on a wall??

Slaughter = House

Pantera = cool car

Dokken = something I do with a boat

Guns n’ Roses = appitite for destruction

Twisted Sister = is Chris Holmes doing drag again???

Slayer = EVIL

11. Name the 3 high points and the 3 low points of your musical journey to date?

BUD JACK VODKA

RUNNING OUT  RUNNING OUT RUNNING OUT

12. You played in Sister & Circus Circus with Blackie pre-W.A.S.P. Tell us about the early days of these bands and the Hollywood scene? There was also mention that Nikki Sixx came down and auditioned for Sister. Whats the story behind that?

Nikki was never in sister, he played with us a a guest star in I wanna be somebody

13.  Of all the bands you’ve shared the stage with in your life, who was the coolest to deal with and who were the biggest dicks?

coolest…. whats air conditioning gotta do with this

Biggest Dicks… are you guys a bunch of homos??

14.  Has Randy Piper ever…

Saw Blackie Lawless naked and erect = again wiht the homo questions

Attended a Poison show = YES

Ate sushi in Japan = was that her name???

Met a member of Warrant = YES

Saw Darrell Roberts tribute band Alcoholica = WHos darrell roberts again

Been arrested for DUI = YES

Fucked an underage groupie = Are you affiliated with any law a forcement agency???

Wore hair extensions = no.. I don’t believe in killing horses

Discussed Metal Sludge with Tom Mathers = yeah about your pussy list

Wished you could be back in W.A.S.P. = would blackie be in the band

15. If you had a choice, between having your hands cut off with Blackies crotch saw blade or joining Firehouse as their lead guitarist for the next 5 years what do you do?

I’d rather Blackie Strap on his COD piece and cut up my ass crack then be in Firehouse.. or even tuff for that matter

16.  If you could erase any W.A.S.P. song or songs from the history of time, which would you choose and why?

School Daze…. because its lame

17.  What rock star deserves a big smack in the mouth and why?

Blackie  why not

18. How much was your largest music related paycheck for and what did you buy with it?

are you in any way affiliated with the DEA or IRS???

19.  Word Association.

Alice cooper=  SNAKES

Gene Simmons=  tongue

steve riley= drums

rik fox= hair

nikki sixx=  cool

tom mathers= perris

tony richards=  cool

mike varney= guitar

pauly shore=  weasel

blackie lawless=  steve duran

20. The Last of Randy Piper….

Last time you spoke with Blackie Lawless = I already forgotten

Last concert you watched from the crowd =  Kenny wayne sheppard

Last gig you played with W.A.S.P. =  Japan

Last time you signed an autograph = My last speeding ticket

Last movie you saw in a theatre = Sin city

Last time you barfed from drinking = Barf… thats alcohol abuse

Last fast food you ate = Skyline,,,, answering then stupid questions

Last time you received a royalty check for W.A.S.P. = I have to ask ARE  you afflilated witht he department of taxation or the IRS

Last rock star you shook hands with = Jason Bonhom

Last time you visited Metal Sludge =  NEVER

Gee let us review the brain wonder and his epic comments.

IT WAS A FUCKING BLAST

our songs don’t suck

we do not suck

who puts thier balls on a wall??

appitite for destruction

Are you affiliated with any law a forcement agency???

BUD, JACK, VODKA.

are you guys a bunch of homos???

I already forgotten

answering then stupid questions

I have to ask ARE  you afflilated witht he department of taxation or the IRS

Actually we are not in any way related  to the IRS, DEA or FBI, but we are affiliated with the Moron Police, the Spelling Police, and the Who Let This Guy Out On The Streets Police and they’ll ALL be over later to arrest you. Here is another lesson in how to NOT do an interview.