Metal Sludge Xtravaganza Sao Paulo Brazil re-cap!

First off I must say outloud – Wow! What a great time. The people treated us great, and I couldn’t have felt more pleased with the way things turned out. The only thing I would’ve wished for differently was 10 shows and 2 weeks, but I’m elated with the time I spent in Brazil.

After doing rock n’ roll for over 20 years and still having the opportunity to fly to another continent is awesome. Then to play for fans who’ve waited for years to experience this "Hollywood" style rock n’ roll – is a true blessing.

Myself, Metal Sludge, & Steve Summers extend a huge thanks to Carlos & all at Animal Records, the BASTARDZ, Club Manifesto and their staff, the London Othon Flats, Ricardo & Roadie Crew magazine, and everyone else involved.

You all rule! Abrigato!

———————————————————————————-

Day 1: I arrived first at LAX early on Wednesday March 22nd and decided to call Steve Summers of Pretty Boy Floyd on his cell phone and tell him there was a change of plans. The call went like this: "Steve, you’re off the tour, Joe LeSte from Bang Tango is doing it instead. Go home!"  Click! Why do that you ask? Why not. Besides this is Metal Sludge and I’m a pranksta. As in Gangsta Pranksta!

Eventually Steve arrived, we each had our own limo (not realy but that sounded cool) and finally hooked up near the gate. We had a few hours to kill after customs and check-in so we decided to go buy breakfast for about

$ 12.00 each. A drink, a sandwich & chips.

Our first flight was from LAX to Atlanta where we caught a connecting flight direct to Sao Paulo Brazil. The first leg in the air was un-eventful for about 4 hours. Basically we talked about things like Jizzy Pearl getting all the singer gigs, and why we only sold 100,000 records when people like White Lion & Slaughter sold 1 million plus. You know, typical bullshit. Upon our arrival we walked straight to our next gate and they were already boarding. Within a few minutes we were seated and awaitied take off for a 10+ hour flight south of the Equator. What’s that you ask? Was there a 3 year old screaming directly behind our row? Of course there was. But…by the time we got in the air, the kid was out cold and napping for most of the flight. Hooray for sanity!

———————————————————————————

Just like Europe, most cars, houses, roads and more are all much smaller then those in the United States. My 4 door Explorer XLT would be a monster on the roads here in Brazil. Carlos drove us as the band was already at rehearsal, at this point I’m wondering and guessing as to when we’ll be in an accident or see one unfold before our very eyes. Not that Carlos is a bad driver, but there are these little motorcycles and mo-peds zooming in between cars every few seconds.  They’re going 40, 50 mph and give you a honk of their horn as a warning when they’re just coming into your blind spot. If they get hit – it’s over!

A) Blackie Lawless

B) Jeff Scott Soto

C) Jeff Pilson

Well..A is for asshole right. Surprise. The word is that Blackie Lawless was an ass to tenth power. Gee, you think? The word was also that ALL the others in W.A.S.P. were super cool, and very appreciative to be there but Blackie was a super jackass. What else is new.

Carlos sadly enough for him is a HUGE KISS fan. I say this with all smiles and in fairness. Gene Simmons is a fucking rock n’ roll disease the world over. This guy is like God to a large portion of the rock n’ roll planet. Carlos said a lot of great things about KISS and I respect that. But I myself, have never been the biggest KISS fan but then again, who am I? I liked skateboards when KISS was in their prime and didn’t see them until the "Lick it up" tour. Which I still love that album more than any of the others.

Once into rehearsal everything went smooth as the guys had a month to work out the tunes before we got there. We now met Mr. Lady on drums who spoke no English, and Drannath Kate on Bass. Drannath dresses like a transexual, was wearing lip gloss and kept looking at us like we were meat on a stick. And he (?) spoke no English either. I actually found it to be funny and interesting. Am I a fag? It’s safe to say no, I’m already 40 and if I was to be a fag I’d have done it long ago. Can’t speak for Summers though. Hey Steve, are you a fag? However if I was going to be a fag, I’m thinking I’d do it with a girly looking guy before someone who looked like Rob Halford or Elton John. More interesting news, Sao Paulo BRAZIL from what they told us was home to more transexuals than anywhere else on the planet other than Thailand. Great, I can’t wait to meet the groupies. (sarcasm mode turmed off) More on the trannies later.

Thomas (guitars) & the promoter Carlos spoke fluent English and would translate anything we had to say to the other band members during our rehearsal. We each went through our short sets twice and I felt the band did a great job. Again, better than I expected. You have to understand that I had never met them before, I didn’t know much about the band other than what I read on the internet, and 4 of the 5 spoke almost no English. However, this is proof that music is Universal. They played all of our songs pretty much note for note. A huge thanks to BASTARDZ for all of their input to make the event go off.

Afterwards we went out to some bbq style restaurant and ended up eating 2 tables over from the guys from Canibal Corpse! I talked to a few guys at the buffet and that was that. What does Pretty Boy Floyd or Tuff have in common with Canibal Corpse? Pretty much nothing. Once we got our fill of food, we went to the "area" where all the action was. It was dance clubs, prostitutes, rock bars, prosititutes, eatery type joints, strip clubs, and oh did I mention – prostitutes? Sex for money is legal in BRAZIL like many parts of Europe and to see this unfolding in front of you is wild. We went to a few different places and the nighlife goes off for sure. We were walking from our car to the club when Steve Summers spotted 4 chicks who were hooking. Or so we thought. No, I mean we thought they were chicks! It was clear that they were for sale, and Summers couldn’t stop looking at this one "chicks" overly inflated tits. So, they start making small talk with us, and I opened up and said: "How big is your hog?" The "chick" lifted up "her" skirt and it was clear there was more than pubic hair in those undies! So we bailed!

All in all we made sure to have fun on our short trip. After the clubs we got home at around 6:am! Most of these clubs don’t even open until midnight or later. So, for me it was a bit trying since I’m usually in bed by 11:PM pre-paring to be Mr. Mom the following morning with my kids.  After several more Red Bulls I was ready to go well into the early hours of the day.

We finally left that club at around 5:am and here is where my trip changed. As I walked out of this club packed with roughly 500 or so people, and several dozen more outside in front I see 2 little kids sleeping on the steps in a doorway. They are maybe 5-6 years old tops. Both are lying their heads in their arms and trying to sleep. One has a broken arm with a makeshift looking cast on it. Their clothes are tattered, and they are basically homeless. No mom, no dad, no nothing.  My stomach started turning, and I couldn’t get this out of my mind. These little boys were not much bigger than my daughter who is a tall 37 inches for only 2 years 3 months. I saw several more kids who were many years under the age of 10 walking around with no shoes, torn & dirty clothes and asking every person in sight for money. They were all ignored and people didn’t even notice them. I guess it’s so common that it didn’t affect anyone. For me it was different. I got to my room and cried for a long time. I cried like a baby thinking about my beautiful children back home and how these little kids will never have a fair shot in life.  To see this first hand was devastating to me. I’ve seen homeless people all over, but I’ve never witnessed elementary aged children sleeping in doorways with no shoes on. The following night I called my older sister and mother back home in Wisconsin and told them what I had saw. To this day I cannot get that image out of mind. I was moved beyond words seeing this up close. I am so very fortunate and truly blessed to have the life that I live. I promised myself long ago to be thankful and happy for what I do have. I was reminded of this and re-asserted myself when Metal Sludge ran the Todd Arnold story. I have since re-asserted myself again when I saw this in Brazil.

———————————————————————————-



Ricardo & Steve (PBF) reviews CDs. Stevie (TUFF) & Roger deep in thought!

          Stevie, Claudia & Steve on the roof top of the London Othon Flats.

Day 3: Friday we slept in and once we awoke were greeted by a video crew who interviewed us for a Brazilian rock TV show. (Sorry I suck, I forgot their name.) Also, we did interviews for Roadie Crew which is the biggest hard rock music magazine in Brazil. Thanks to Ricardo, Roger & Claudia!

After our interviews were complete we were picked up and taken to the meet and greet in-store appearance at Animal Records. They told us they expected about 50-60 people. Turns out they were wrong and roughly 150 people showed up. As we walked up there was a line through the top floor of this mall, and they went crazy. Some of these people had Metal Edge, Hit Parader, and other magazine pictures and articles from the late 80s and early 90s. All of these people seemed to be elated to meet us, and I can say that we were elated the same.  The age range was from young teenageers up to mid/late 30 somethings. All wearing Skid Row, Motley Crue, and Gn’R tee-shirts. Even a few Tuff & PBF shirts in the crowd.