Metal Sludge's Top 10 Gayest Rock Photos Ever!

Metal Sludge’s Top 10 Gayest Rock Photos Ever!

Tommy Lee & Lukas Rossi horsing around, hugging and making out.

It’s been a while since we’ve done a Top 10 list, so we thought we’d whack you one up. This weeks list is Metal Sludge’s Top 10 Gayest Rock Photos Ever. And before you get all politically correct on us, we’re not anti gay, homophobic, or any of that other stuff. If TOSH.O can fag bash on cable, then we can make a Top 10 list. So suck it. Enough of the foreplay, let’s get down to some dirty, filthy, rotten, stinking cock rockers acting like cock boys.

#10.  Ron Keel and Fairgame.  Ron formed a ‘mostly’ girl group called Fairgame that he fronted after his previous band hit hard times. He should have called it fairly gay instead. He went from the snear and snarl of the Heavy Metal band KEEL to his own version of Vixen. Only he got to play Janet. How cute is that? Not very. For that, this makes our #10 on the Metal Sludge’s Gayest Rock Photos Ever list.

#9. Manowar.  This band hails from Auburn New York, yet call Germany home. At least for their career that is. Germans sing about things like “99 Luft Balloons” and “Balls to the Wall” so it makes perfect sense that Germany would embrace these meaty titans as heroes. Metal Sludge would like to congratulate Manowar, it’s official, we hereby crown you as The Village People of Heavy Metal. This photo is gay. Plain and simple. One of their older videos is called “Gloves of Metal.” We’re guessing they might be referring to rubber gloves?

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#8. Tommy Lee & Dave Navarro. Okay, so if a grown man is shirtless, and some dude decides to bite or nibble on the other guys tits, what does that mean? In the privacy of their own home? No! In public, with photographers taking pictures of it. Wouldn’t that be porn? Anyway, we’d like to go out on a limb here, and call this gay.  Plain and simple. If Fred Durst did this to Kid Rock, we’re guessing Fred would be dead. Or if Lil’ Wayne did this to Snoop Dogg he might get that loli pop shoved up his ass. How would the brothers feel about that? Anywho, Tommy has been acting fruity for a while – there is more of him coming your way. And yes, this is gay.

#7. Paul Stanley of KISS. We love Paul & KISS but this pic speaks for itself. It’s pretty gay.

#6. Shotgun Messiah. Somehow these guys ended up being cool at some point. We have to say “Heartbreak Boulevard” was a great 80s rock track. But a few years before that hit they did some risky photos, so we have to ask…”What the fuck were you guys thinking?” This picture is kind of like Shotgun Messiah were freshman and King Kobra were the Senior class. Tim Tim (2nd from left) also known as Tim Skold has spent recent time touring with Marilyn Manson, and that explains his look HERE. All in all, this picture is gay. Let’s be honest. When was the last time you saw a band pic full of yellow, pink and purple camel toes. With all guys in the group!

#5. Tommy Lee & Criss Angel.  Oh no, guess who’s back. Yup. The old penis between your legs trick guy. It’s everyones favorite Motley Crue member out on the town. And doing what? Not playing drums. Not rapping. Nope. It’s the 3rd thing he’s most fanous for. No, not his ding a ling, but for making out with guys. Poor Criss looks like he’s trying to give him the old “Bro you rock man” hug, but Tommy is going in for the kill. This is like a high school dance make out session. You know the type, the horny drunk football player corners a cute freshman and she’s on her period too. She’s scared to death and so is Criss.

#4. Taime Downe of Faster Pussycat.  What do you get when you mix a dirty perverted rock singer, a wedding dress and alcohol? Your answer is below. The next question – is this gay, creepy, shocking or all of the above? We’ll leave that up to the viewer. We’re gonna classify this as GAY! Gus As ladY! Gus is Taime’s real name for those keeping score.

#3. Stevie Rachelle of TUFF. We’re gonna go out on a limb and say he must have been drugged to do this. Who in the world in their right mind, would do a photo shoot involving body oil and a wash cloth? What the f??k! How about the back ground. It looks like someone sprayed a can of liquid razzles all over a 13 year old girls bedroom and Stevie decided to do a photo shoot there. Add to this train wreck, he’s wearing a red hand towel that reads “Tuff Stuff!” If this isn’t a felony, it should be. Not only should Rachelle be arrested for indecent exposure, but the publisher that made this a 3 page feature spread in TEEN MACHINE should be locked up as well. This just screams, “Someone beat me up!”

#2. Pretty Boy Floyd. Yes, that photo above was definitely pretty gay. What could be worse than posing in a wash cloth all oiled up for a teen magazine you may ask? How about an entire band in leather g-strings with skulls covering their dicks. Not only in photos, but on stage, and in public as well. Pretty Boy Floyd in their earliest days somehow managed to think this was a good idea. Holy dirty ball sack batman look at these. Steve “Sex” Summers sporting the red ball holster – was giving himself a reach around just as the camera snapped this gem. The million dollar question is, will he ever offer these for sale on eBay.

#1. Tommy Lee swapping spit with Dave Navarro.  It has to be this. The Gayest Rock Photo Ever!

Is anyone shocked, it’s our friend Tommy “My Dong Is A Foot Long” Lee again. Here is Tommy & Hollywood man-whore Dave Navarro. We call Dave a man-whore, because he’s been on more TV shows, and on stage with more famous bands than anyone we’ve ever seen. Yet the guy has never had anything resembling a hit song. Add to that he’s banged all the hot broads, and now he’s hooking up with the King Kong of dicks too. Damn, save a little action for the rest of the planet would ya?

Now we won’t call these guys complete ass pirates, because that would be rude. But making out on the red carpet is definitely pretty, ummm gay. For all to see. Right? So, let us wonder what the fuck these clowns are doing in a motel room with a few ‘party supplies’ on hand. It’s probably a full on cock fest, but of course we can’t confirm or deny that. And we say all this in a nice way. Metal Sludge likes to bust balls, and we’re glad you get it. Rob Halford is gay too, and he rocks. Clearly Tommy can rock, and rock out with his cock out as well. Fuck, the guy can honk horns and drive boats with his dick. So it’s likely he might do other crazy shit with that horse hammer.

In short, we’d like to make a note, that Metal Sludge are not homphobic, but we would like to make this the gayest rock photo of all time. If you have a gayer one, then send it in.

 

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