Inside Gerri Miller’s Mind

For those of you who don’t know, or don’t care, over at Metal Edge there is a new message board. Us peons can ask Scary Gerri questions, and our Queen will answer them! When she answers you question, the feeling is that of winning the lottery, or being blessed by the pope. But what you people don’t know is what Gerri is really thinking. Being that we have years upon years of music business experience, we will tell you what Gerri really meant when she gave her answers.

QUESTION FOR GERRI: I was wondering if you could put some more Hair of the dog pics and interviews in the coming issues. Thank you very much.
GERRI’S ANSWER: We aren’t planning any features at the moment (if HOD were opening tomorrow’s Cinderella show in L.A. they’d be included in my coverage but Union is on this bill); however,you will find HOD in Roundup and Mailbag
WHAT SHE REALLY MEANS IS: Hair Extensions Of The Dog suck and I refuse to lower myself by having them in my quality magazine. But since there are about 10 people who like them, I will always stick them in the Roundup and Mailbag so you people don’t think I’m blowing them off. Suckers!!

QUESTION FOR GERRI: anything coming up from Motley Crue soon?also ,how do u get the new KISS cd to work on the comp.?
GERRI’S ANSWER: There’s a review of the new album in the next (Jan.) issue. I’m working on getting an interview/photo session now, but if it doesn’t happen next week it won’t make the Feb. issue because of deadlines.I really don’t have the answer to the KISS CD thing
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: Your an idiot for wanting another Kiss compilation since there are already 50 different comps out. I’m trying to Kiss Nikki’s ass into giving me an interview. He thinks I’m a joke though. I’m also an idiot for reviewing a Greatest Hits, since we all have heard the songs already.

QUESTION FOR GERRI: hi gerri, I think your magazine is great. I was wondering if what def leppard has been up to lately and if they are considering going out on tour with the “exiled from mainstream” tour next summer that Bret Michaels proposed for next summer. Also, is AC/DC planning an album and tour soon. Thank you Gerri.
GERRI’S ANSWER: Def Leppard is recording. I don’t know whether or not they’d consider touring with Poison or anyone else. They generally like to headline. As far as I know AC/DC is working on music but I don’t know about actual recording or when it would be ready,so it’s hard to predict when they’d tour.
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: Def Leppard thinks Poison sucks and will be damned if they ever tour with them! AC/DC is recording the same shit they have recorded over the last 20 years and are just re-releasing it with a new title. Go Fuck Yourself and buy my magazine.

QUESTION FOR GERRI: Are you ever going to do a “Whatever” happened to issue? Like most bands from the 80’s?(Seduce, lizzy borden, London bang tango,,smashed gladys,oden,,gnr 80’s glam bands, rough cutt,roxx gang it should be interestingto see todayscarreers
GERRI’S ANSWER: No, no whole issues like that are planned or feasible. The last time we did something like that, in our anniversary issue, it was an INCREDIBLE amount of work, and quite frustrating as it’s really hard to find out Whatever Happened To a lot of people! If a band or artist has been away from the scene for a number of years chances are I don’t have a contact and can’t get one–there are no longer any label/management/publicity contacts and even if I once had a home phone # it’s likely invalid at this point. Generally, when someone (or a band) from the past resurfaces and is doing something we do cover it, at least make mention in Metal Wire or in a Mailbag letter, and will continue to do that.
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: I’m am a lazy bitch. Also, I am full of shit. If you are a musician and have a CD that I don’t like, I won’t give you a mention, even if you did help me sell my shitty magazine in the past. And the reason some past bands aren’t mentioned in Metal Edge anymore is because I hate them and I hope they rot it eternal hell. I will bury these bands to make room for my current flavor of the month.

QUESTION FOR GERRI: I was also wondering what is going on with Mr. Big…when are they going back in the studio? I last saw them in concert in 94 and they were great!
GERRI’S ANSWER: There are no current plans to record. The guys are busy with separate projects
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: I could give 2 shits what Mr. Big is up to. F-Em!

QUESTION FOR GERRI: Partically interested in finding out what happened to Nader D’Priest(ExLondon Gene Allen (ex Lizzy Borden) Joe Leste Bang Tango, and I heard Joey Gioli Burnette is a Porn Star now, and guys from TUFF.
GERRI’S ANSWER: I don’t know about Nadir, Gene, or Joey (the porn thing is news to me, but sounds very unlikely). Joe, however, is fine and still in Bang Tango–saw him tonight as a matter of fact at Cinderella’s second L.A. show (BT opened the show Friday night). Bang Tango will put out a live record via Cleopatra Records in a few months. As for Tuff alumni, Stevie Rachelle produces bands and is trying to make a go of a solo career, and Todd Chase has a band–forget the name offhand (they used to be called Black). Don’t know about the others.
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: My memory is as extensive as my wardrobe. I have forgotten half of those people ever existed and could really care less if they all died tomorrow. You will never amount to anything in life since you like those bands.

QUESTION FOR GERRI: Hey Gerri! I was wondering if and whenever Poison does go on tour, hopefully May 1999, that you will have them on the cover? It would be awesome to add a Poison Metal Edge cover to my collection! Also, how do you buy the old Poison Metal Edge covers all at once? Thanks Gerri. Keep up the good work.
GERRI’S ANSWER: We don’t plan our covers more than a couple of months in advance, and it will depend on what else is going on at the time (tours, releases, etc.) so I can’t promise. As for old issues, we don’t have back issues of Metal Edge for sale that are more than a year or two old, but we are still offering three Poison specials, from ’88, ’92, and ’93, for sale. Look for the ads in the magazine to order.
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: Poison was on every cover from 86-91, back when they sold magazines. Now they couldn’t sell herion to people in a methadone clinic. If they are on the cover, it will be a little tiny picture next to the “Rockin’ Roundup Question.”

QUESTION FOR GERRI: Hi Gerri, I was wondering why there hasn’t been much UNION coverage in Metal Edge lately. You really seemed to support them early on but after the feature that you did on them right when their album was released, there hasn’t been anything other than a picture here or there. I remember when you gave bands like Poison, Warrant, and Slaughter a fair amount of coverage before they hit it big. I was just wondering where that kind of support was for UNION. From what I read from another post, I understand that UNION may make it into a future issue because of the show they are doing with Cinderella. I of coarse don’t know, but the way you were talking it sounds like the feature would mostly be on Cinderella and whoever was opening (UNION) would make it by default. Don’t get me wrong, I love Metal Edge and haven’t missed an issue since 1986. I’m just disappointed in the lack of UNION coverage.
GERRI’S ANSWER: Are you kidding? They’ve been in every issue in some way or another! We gave them a SIX page feature when the album came out, they’ve been in Roundup every month often with a photo, Wire most of the time, and we have included live photos several times. I specifically attended the second L.A. Cinderella show because Union was opening and I wanted to see them. My only previous opportunity was a benefit gig they did here in June (short set) and I wanted to see a proper show. Yes, the article will focus more on Cinderella but there will be live and offstage Union photos. Ask the band what other magazine has offered as much consistent coverage!
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: I’ve covered Union more times than people have been to there shows! If it wasn’t for me, only 5 people would know about Union, instead of the 23 that do now!

QUESTION FOR GERRI: Will there be any coverage of the WASP convention which took place on Aug 29 in NJ? Also please have more articles about them in Metal Edge. Thanks
GERRI’S ANSWER: yes, Paul attended the convention and took a few photos–they’re in the new (Jan.) issue, out Oct. 20
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: Most of the people that appear in our magazine enjoy talking to Paul much more than me. Eventually, Paul will boot my ugly 7 foot frame out of Metal Edge and I will go back to the circus where I originally came from.

QUESTION FOR GERRI: Does anybody know what Axl has been up to lately ? He seems to be hiding out. Is he not doing interviews ? Also, what is the latest news on G n R as far as members and a new album. You rule.
GERRI’S ANSWER: While Axl is supposedly working on material with musicians including Chris Vrenna and Dizzy Reed (no one else from the original GN’R but him), he isn’t doing press–but that isn’t anything new. I haven’t talked to him since 1986! No idea when this will be out
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: Axl never needed by bald ass to sell records, so he dissed my ass early in his career. He wouldn’t be interviewed by me now if it meant headlining stadiums again.

QUESTION FOR GERRI: gerri i think youve got a great eye for talent so many ror alumni have gone national, tuff,warrant,lunatic candy kreep,etc do you think that ror is what boosted them. cause i love to watch the band after theyve been in ror,i just wanted your opinion.a long time fan greta
GERRI’S ANSWER: I can’t take full credit for these bands’ success course, but I like to think I’m able to spot talent early. Being in ROR can’t hurt!
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: I can’t take any credit for their success! But I have a question for you: What success did Lunatic Candy Kreeps ever have? Your an idiot, buy my a Metal Edge hat!

QUESTION FOR GERRI: Do you have any idea why so few Kiss fans seem to be buying the CD? Man I thought the CD should have had a debut at #1 and sold a lot more copies, this week it plunged to #35 that quite a drop what do you think the CD will have a chance to go platinum? Thanks
GERRI’S ANSWER: Maybe because they downloaded it from the Net already, I don’t know. It appears that most everyone who wanted to buy it got it the first week, thus the drop in week #2. As for platinum, that’s a million records, and they’ve got a way to go before gold at this point. It could hit that level eventually, as the tour goes on, but it probably won’t be that soon if the sales pattern so far is an indication.
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: Kiss will be lucky to hit gold.

QUESTION FOR GERRI: Almost 20 years, a huge tour in 1996-97, I thought that the CD would be huge. Do you think it will affect the tour and all the other hype that surround them? It seem to me that this is a huge dissapointment for them. I do not understand how this could happen, where is all the fans over 2 million people saw them last time the tour was huge, but no one wanted new music. I don’t get it. Can you explain it to me, please? Its now at #35 it should have sold more.
GERRI’S ANSWER: I don’t know, I guess the fans that wanted it got it immediately, thus the slump the second week. It could pick up once the tour starts
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: Why are you asking me to explain record sales when I have no idea what causes magazine sales. Album sales will probably pick up once my Kiss Magazine Special comes out, then I can take all the credit for it.

QUESTION FOR GERRI: OK, but what did you expect the new Kiss CD to sell?
GERRI’S ANSWER: I don’t know…I don’t have a crystal ball! Sales could pick up once the Halloween show airs on Fox and the tour starts
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: Damn You, stop asking me about Kiss’ lack of sales. I’m not going to speak bad about Kiss because Gene will get pissed and not do my magazine anymore. Besides, if I had a crystal ball, I would see that my future position in Metal Edge is nonexistant once Paul takes over!

QUESTION FOR GERRI: Has there ever been a time when you don’t report something on a band because you don’t care for them? With all the bands out there, there has to be some that your not into and don’t like. What do you do then? Thanks.
GERRI’S ANSWER: Let’s differentiate reporting news items, such as what we do in Metal Wire, and running feature stories. We report news on just about everyone, whether or not we’ll give them feature space. There are bands that I don’t care for or that I feel don’t fit Metal Edge’s format and they don’t get covered. Other bands may get a review but not a full article. Sometimes if I don’t personally like someone or a band but we do want to cover them, Paul (managing editor) or a freelancer will do the story. It’s decided on a case by case basis.
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: We do not report news on just about everyone, cause I dislike a lot of bands, so I am very choosey with what goes in. I’d much rather run photos of wives and kids than bands I dislike. Sometimes I like to cover bands that nobody knows or even cares about. Does anybody remember that band called “Litl Willie” that I ran a feature on back in the May 1993 issue? What, you don’t? It was a dad and his 4 young boys (ages 7-14) and I did a full color feature on them. Even though they vanished off the planet after the feature ran and at the time there were about 1000 other bands deserving the feature, I gave it to them. Don’t bother looking for their CD cause it never came out. And to this day, I continue to up hold that tradition of ignoring certain bands, and giving other undeserving bands full attention.

QUESTION FOR GERRI: WHAT IS THE STYLE THEY ARE GOING FOR NOW??……ARE THE NEW SONGS GOOD,AND DO THEY HAVE ANY IDEA YET THAT THE FANS WANT THE REAL CRUE AND NOT THAT CRAPPY ALT MUSIC THEY WENT FOR WITH THE OTHER CD THEY DID??………SOME OF THESE BANDS LIKE TO DO THE ALT STYLE TO APPEAL TO THE YOUNGER PEOLE WHEN THE FACT IS THAT THE ..YOUNGER PEOPLE……ONLY LIKE WHAT THEY CONSIDER COOL,MEANING THE NEW BANDS,LETS HOPE THEY ARE’NT GOONA DO ANOTHER G SWINE!!!!!!!!
GERRI’S ANSWER: The 2 new songs are really good, rocking and catchy, and if they’re any indication the band is moving away from what they did on Swine.
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: If you ask me a question about any song, I’ll give you the same answer, rocking and catchy.

QUESTION FOR GERRI: Here are some random questions? Would you buy a used car from Dana Strum? Have you ever seen Bret Michaels without something covering his head? What was the last 3 CDs you bought? What is your favorite rock Home Video? Has Vince Neil ever reminded you of Cartman, either physically or mentally?
GERRI’S ANSWER: 1. I don’t need a car, I have one 2. Not recently 3. I don’t buy CDs–I get lots sent to me 4. I don’t have one 5. I don’t watch South Park so I don’t know
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: 1. Dana Strum is more of a snake than I am 2. Bret is really bald 3. I make people think I’m important so they send me free CDs 4. I don’t own a TV 5. Are you crazy, Vince Neil is Cartman

QUESTION FOR GERRI: Hey Gerri, how are you doing? I was wondering what Lita Ford has been up to; I heard somewhere that she was working on a new album and possibly touring sometime next year–that would be cool. Also, do you know when Sebastian Bach’s live album is going to be released. Finally, what is Firehouse doing now that they have completed the Rock Never Stops Tour? Thanks a lot Gerri, you are the best.
GERRI’S ANSWER: Lita recently moved to a new house and is working on new material, she hopes to release something next year. I have no date for Sebastian’s album or update on Firehouse
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: I don’t like Firehouse anymore and basically said in my CD reviews that their new album sucked, so your not getting any Firehouse info from me bitch! Also, even though Sebastian has a website giving you information on his upcoming album, I’m not going to tell you about it.

QUESTION FOR GERRI: Have you seen that Metal Sludge site? What do you think of it? This board is really cool. Later.
GERRI’S ANSWER: (She didn’t answer this one!)
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: I have seen this site and feel it is far superior to anything I have ever done. I fear that if they were to come out with a Metal Sludge magazine, they would beat the wig off my giant sized head. I’m thinking about sending them a resume in hopes that maybe I can answer there email someday.

QUESTION FOR GERRI: I was wondering if Nelson is out touring again, because when I called the Detroit Harpo’s Concert Theatre hotline I could’ve sworn they booked Nelson for November 14….also, when will you be printing the article on Jerry Dixon’s home studio, because he produced local Detroit band Devil’s Nite’s 3 song EP, and lead singer August told me about the article. Lastly, how do bands get their website submitted for the email section of the magazine, as I have a great website for Devil’s Nite and it would give the guys some promotion.
GERRI’S ANSWER: 1. Metal Edge doesn’t cover Nelson so I don’t have informationon them. 2. We don’t do articles on studios. We do cover Warrant, and if Jerry wants to mention projects he’s working on, that’s up to him 3. Local bands must first be chosen for Rock on the Rise before their information is added to the e-mail or postal directories. This is the procedure: Submissions for Rock on the Rise must include: Tape or CD, where to send for it and what it costs by mail, a detailed bio, color photo (ID’d left to right with members’ names), any clippings, lyrics, updated information, contacting info such as phone, e-mail, and website, etc. Send to Metal Edge, Sterling Macfadden, 233 Park Ave. South, New York, NY 10003. There is a large backlog and no guarantee of inclusion.
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: Even though Nelson sold magazines for me in 90/91, they have gone “acoustic” as I like to call it so they deserve no mention and can fuck off. I don’t like them anymore. The reason Jerry didn’t mention the projects he works with is because Jerry can hardly remember his wife’s name. And if local bands want to send in their tape or CD, maybe I will bless them and put them in ROR, in which case they will become huge and I will take all the credit.

QUESTION FOR GERRI: Why are you so good to us? =) How long do your work days last? You must spend HOURS upon HOURS doing your job. Thanks though! We love what you do!!
GERRI’S ANSWER: Basically if I’m not sleeping or doing errands I’m working or doing something work related. Thanks for the appreciation
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: I actually sent this question in myself.

QUESTION FOR GERRI: First off, I love the mag. Thanks for being the ONLY one that keeps us informed on what the older bands are doing. Now for my question. Do you have any idea what WARRANT is doing? I heard a rumor that they were going to make a JAPAN only CD. Is it true. And will it be like B2B or what? I love ULTRAPHBIC. It is a totally underrated album. Thanks
GERRI’S ANSWER: Warrant will tour this fall with Slaughter and BulletBoys (with Erik Turner back in the band). They’re not going to make a record till later on. They also need a deal since they’re no longer with CMC
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: How bad do you have to suck to get dropped by CMC? Instead of Warrant making a Japanese only CD, why don’t they just go to Japan and stay there.

QUESTION FOR GERRI: I am not trying to stir anything up, but on a Kiss fansite, their was something about a Peter Criss interview you did that was kinds hostile , can you shed any light on it? I read alot of negative stuff online about Kiss not getting along and Ace and Peter not playing on the new record! It is really beginning to bore me! Thanks Gerri Metal Edge Rocks!!!!!!!!
GERRI’S ANSWER: It’s nonsense! I saw Peter two Saturdays ago and we talked for almost an hour before the band’s rehearsal, and they seemed to be getting along just fine from what I could see
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: And when you stand 6 foot 10 inches, you can see a hell of a lot!

QUESTION FOR GERRI: Hey Gerri: Will Metal edge have anything in the future about Warrior Soul, or Kory Clarke’s career since then? Also, A Galactic Cowboys interview would be a cool thing.
GERRI’S ANSWER: We don’t cover broken-up bands as a rule so we’re not covering Warrior Soul. I did mention Kory’s band in Wire after I saw a show and I’m STILL waiting for a tape–we can’t do anything else without music. I’ll cover the King’s X/Galactic show here on 10/27
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: Even if I had information on Warrior Soul, I’m not going to tell you about it! Fuck them and fuck you! And unless artists send me their tapes for free, I ain’t mentioning shit about them!

QUESTION FOR GERRI: Hi Gerri. So, I wanted to ask you what you may know about Vinnie Vincent, his current whereabouts, etc. I heard he was putting out an independent release, but just took the pre-order money and hasn’t been heard from since. Also, I know Vinnie’s ex-wife has been missing and perhaps he is involved with that? Thanks!
GERRI’S ANSWER: sorry, but I have no information whatsoever
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: Duh, that surprises you? Vinnie Vincent used to be in the same band as Dana Strum! Case closed!

QUESTION FOR GERRI: Gerri, just curious….does Metal Edge have an an office in L.A. or are you only in NY?
GERRI’S ANSWER: I’m in L.A. but the office is in New York
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: The New York office sent me to LA a few years ago, and when I got here, I realized they only gave me a one way ticket, so I’ve been stuck here ever since! Hopefully if I return enough soda cans, I can gather the money and fly back someday.

QUESTION FOR GERRI: Hey this is great! I’m so glad you put up this message board for the fans! I’ve written your magazine several times, but as of yet I haven’t gotten anything printed. Anyways, my name too is Jerry Muller (pronouned Miller) and my friends all think it is funny we have the same name, but I’m a guy and your a woman. My question is how many letters do you get a month for the mailbag and how do you choose what goes in? I’m hoping sooner or later I make the grade, and there can be two Gerri Miller’s in Metal Edge! Thanks for the great magazine and all your hard work. If it wasn’t for you, a lot of bands would never have made it. We owe you Gerri! Thanks again!
GERRI’S ANSWER: Nice to hear from someone with the same name. People often spell mine like yours but I doubt you’re subjected to the reverse! We get a couple hundred letters a month and can’t possibly print all of them. I save the interesting ones and try to print a good balance of types–letters with pictures from fans who met bands, ones discussing issues or responding to previously printed letters, and those asking good questions. Sometimes if the questions require research or interviewing someone I’ll hold onto the letter till I can get the answer. I often incorporate letters in my interviews if there’s time
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANT: You are a loser like me. Maybe someday you can have a magazine like me a force people to kiss your ass for coverage. It’s the only way I can feel good about myself. We didn’t print your letter cause I’d rather print pictures of fat chicks standing next to Mark Slaughter.

QUESTION FOR GERRI: You seemed to like the new L.A. Guns lineup with Ralph Saenz. Don`t you agree that this band should be put out of it`s misery by Traci Guns since the departure of Ralph and the unfortunate fact that Phil Lewis wants nothing more to do with it.
GERRI’S ANSWER: I did like the band with Ralph but I haven’t seen it with Jizzy yet and I’d like to. It’s not for me to say when a band should quit. That’s up to the band.
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: However, while it is not for me to say when a band should quit, I will stop any mention of them whatsoever, that ways people will think they broke up and the band won’t draw any people. Then the band will have to break up, but they can’t trace it back to me. Pretty slick, huh?

QUESTION FOR GERRI: Hey Gerri. I wanted to get your opinion on singer Robert Fleischman, formerly singer of Journey and Vinnie Vincent Invasion. What do/did you think of him as a singer and do you know of any metal bands today looking for a singer that he may be a good fit? Thanks!
GERRI’S ANSWER: To be honest I don’t have an opinion, as I haven’t listened to those albums in years.
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: I could give two shits about him. I haven’t listened to those albums in years, thus it has been erased from my primitive monkey memory. I can only go back 4 years or so. Once I listen to something, I forget it. I have so much other important stuff to remember, like asking Steven Tyler what his favorite childhood toy was.

QUESTION FOR GERRI: Gerri, I just read in the latest issue that Bob Rock will be producing Def Leppard’s new album, but when I passed this news on to a certain Lep site, someone took exception to this and insisted that Pete Woodroffe was still the producer. I was called “naive” for believing what Metal Edge reported. Well, I stood up for you and your magazine because I know you would never print something that you couldn’t verify. But could you please tell me when and from whom you got the info that Bob Rock was in, Pete was out? This person stated that this “rumor” was months old, but for you to report this, it must be a fairly new development, as you had reported in the past, correctly, that Pete was the producer. I’m sorry this is so long, but I just want to prove to this guy that Metal Edge is a reputable magazine that can be trusted to print up to date, accurate information. I know you’re right! I’ve bought every magazine since its inception, and I can’t ever remember you printing anything that turned out to be “just a rumor.” Keep up the excellent work!
GERRI’S ANSWER: I got it from a usually reliable rock news source, but as things sometimes happen when you have a 6 week leadtime, I found out it was false too late to fix it. Pete IS the producer, as I corrected in the following issue.
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: I fucked up. I research my sources as much as The Weekly World News does. However, you ARE naive for believing what I write, and even more naive for liking Def Leppard. Fuck those limely bastards and buy a Metal Edge coffee mug.

QUESTION FOR GERRI: Gerri, have you ever thought about giving some exposure to lesser rock bands to help the rock industry? For example, Velocity, a SF based band is awesome, but could use some help getting exposure. Or a couple of San Diego bands like Jokers Wild, or Crossing Guard. Both are not well known, but rock like no other!
GERRI’S ANSWER: That is what Rock on the Rise is for. It’s up to the bands or their representatives to submit materials to us.
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: Rock on the Rise is for bands to send me free CDs. I then print their material, and if they get a deal, I take the credit. However, I don’t think any bands that have been in R.O.R have gotten a record deal since 1990.

QUESTION FOR GERRI: I understand that Metal Edge must evolve along with music but I have see enough of KORN and Manson. The last 3 issues have been trash in my eyes and this is not what I expected when I decided to order your magazine for $38 a year. Do you plan on interviewing any bands that made your magazine what it once was? (That was the best music magazine on the market)
GERRI’S ANSWER: if we only covered bands from the ’80s we wouldn’t be in business. We try to offer a balance of bands we’ve always covered–Ozzy, Motley, Aerosmith, Metallica, Van Halen, Ratt, etc. with the new bands. No magazine expects to have every reader like every article. Do you like every single player in Sports Illustrated? Or actor in Entertainment Weekly? I doubt it. We will continue to have a mix so that we can still publish and offer anything at all!
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: We are hardly in business as it is, so we need to cover whatever trendy bands are currently in style. For example, I’ve never heard a Rammstein song in my pathetic life, yet I’ll put them on the cover so it appears we are “happening”, as the young kids say. Even though the fans of these “happening” bands wouldn’t buy my magazine if they had a gun to their head, I still try to cover them. And those 80s bands that sold magazines for me before will also be covered. I will always make sure to have a small black and white picture of them in the Rockin Roundup or the Metal Directory.

QUESTION FOR GERRI: Gerri, I was wondering if you beleive that Ace Frehley really is off the booze. I saw him during the reunion tour at a hotel and he was drunk as a skunk! It’s not really important, I just think Gene is a moron for always going on about how ‘We get along now because Ace doesn’t drink’. I think he is full of crap. So, my question to you is, ‘Is Ace Frehley Sober?’ Thanks, and be honest!! KISS can’t get angry with you for expressing your opinion! I mean, I could ask more disrespectful questions (eg – does Gene wear a wig?)
GERRI’S ANSWER: I have never seen Ace off the wagon and he insists that he’s sober so I’ll have to go with that unless I personally see evidence to the contrary
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: I’ve also never seen Paul Stanley wear a wig, Bret Michaels sing out of key, Vince Neil take out a buffet, or anyone EVER do drugs. So believe me when I tell you Ace is sober!

QUESTION FOR GERRI: Kiss is my favorite band of all time and I thank you for the cool shit you do on the band it’s the best!What’s the deal with Peter’s health? When you last talked to him was he in shape to play this world tour? I saw the video he looks like he’s not into it at all.
GERRI’S ANSWER: he insists he’s fine and able to play
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: Since Black Sabbath is touring again, it will be a race between their drummer Bill Ward and Peter Criss to see who dies first. My money’s on Peter. The reason the Kiss show is going to be in 3D is to distract you so nobody notices Peter isn’t even on the stage. Gene told me they aren’t even going to take Peter’s drums out on the road with them since nobody notices Peter anyways.

QUESTION FOR GERRI: HEARD THAT A WEBSITE COPIES& REPRINTS METAL EDGE ARTICLES. IS THAT COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT? CAN U SUE?
GERRI’S ANSWER: Yes…and we’re trying!
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: No, I don’t have a chance in hell. See the bottom line is, Metal Sludge doesn’t reprint the articles from the magazine. They cut and paste the news from the Metal Edge online site, and have always given full credit to where the news comes from. About a million other sites cut and paste stuff from other sites. Wrestling sites do it all the time. Dynamite Metal News cut and pastes stuff from HardRadio or other sources. Showbizwire.Com has a ton of stuff for people to use, just so long as your give credit. Metal Sludge has broken no laws whatsoever. In fact, I haven’t even been in contact with them. I should just go about my business and leave them alone. What am I going to do, try and sue them because they said I suck? That’s their opinion and they have the right to say it. I’m just pissed that a lot of my pinup boys enjoy their site and that they laugh at me behind my back.

QUESTION FOR GERRI:Hi Gerri, I’m just wondering why Mike Tramp’s “Capricorn” seems to be the only CMC release which isn’t being distributed in Canada. I’ve tried numerous music stores (some online, others not), and it isn’t available through any of them. Yet, as I mentioned, the rest of the CMC catalogue is easy to obtain up here in the “Great White North.” Any information/clarification you could offer me would be greatly appreciated.
GERRI’S ANSWER: I don’t know but I assume it’s because of the deal he made
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: The deal I’m referring to is the deal Mike Tramp made with devil. The devil gave Mike Tramp a US deal in exchange for his soul. However, since Canada is generally cold and the Devil doesn’t like cold weather (that’s why he lives in Hell, duh!), he blocked any and all Canadian distribution. While that story might appear far fetched, it no more far fetched than any of the other crap I spew out to you metal “marks”.

QUESTION FOR GERRI: Where are your offices, NY or LA? Thanks!
GERRI’S ANSWER: The office is in New York, but I am in L.A.
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: The reason I’m in LA is because one day I showed up to the NY offices, and to my surprise, the offices had moved! I guess they forgot to tell me their new location. They then called me and told to fly to LA to take pictures of a big Slik Toxik headlining show at the Forum. So I flew out there, only to realize that Slik Toxik wasn’t playing the Forum, and that I had been given a one way ticket! Imagine my surprise! So I have yet to make enough money to return to New York.

QUESTION FOR GERRI: Hi, Any news about the long awaited new albums from Warrant and Jani Lane solo project?
GERRI’S ANSWER: No. Warrant will be touring through December and won’t record anything till next year. They also need a deal. So does Jabberwocky. It’s way to early to talk about releases.
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: Warrant might be getting a deal with Betty Ford, however, it is too early to speculate. Jani’s solo project is going to be very solo. In fact, only one or two people will probably buy his Froggercocky CD. It’s also way too early to talk about if Jerry will be sober enough to stand for the recording sessions.

QUESTION FOR GERRI: Do you honestly think that we will ever see another Poison album, or tour for that matter?? Can Bret and CC get along for that long?
GERRI’S ANSWER: Bret insists there will be a tour late spring (before any album). It all remains to be seen.
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: Bret tells me that Metallica and Aerosmith have both begged to open for them next Summer, but that remains to be seen. I’m sure after Bret wins the Oscar this year for “A Letter From Death Row”, all his time will be taken making the next Jurassic Park movie. Bret says I have a great chance to play the lead T-Rex, so keep your fingers crossed!

QUESTION FOR GERRI: I was just wondering if there is any hope for a Faster Pussycat reunion?!?! Or should we quit holding our breath!!!
GERRI’S ANSWER: I would say the latter (in other words, breathe). Taime isn’t interested in it at all. However, both Brent Muscat and Eric Stacy are now playing with Phil Lewis
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: Taime isn’t interested in it at all since his job working Santa Monica Blvd late at night is paying off for him. Besides, what type of idiot are you to be holding your breath for a Faster Pussycat reunion? Do me a favor and see how long you can hold your breath. And try to have a pillow over your face while your doing it. Oh yea, Brent & Eric will never succeed on their own and are worthless pieces of shit. Thanks for your question!

QUESTION FOR GERRI: Wondering if you could tell me what Davy Vain is doing these days. I’m a huge Vain fan but can never find any info on what he’s up to. Keep up the great work with Metal Edge, I buy every issue even though we’re always a few months behind here in Australia! Anyway hope you can help me out!
GERRI’S ANSWER: Sorry but I have no idea
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: Davy who? Sorry, but I could give a fuck less what he is doing. Leave me alone!

QUESTION FOR GERRI: whatever happened to “dizzy” dean from britny fox? i haven’t heard a word from him since the blackeyed susans day.
GERRI’S ANSWER: I have no idea
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: See above answer! However, this time I’m not even sorry I don’t know. I just don’t know, and don’t care. I’m such a fountain of information!

QUESTION FOR GERRI: What’s your opinion on Kiss ripping off Alice? I think it perfectly clear that they are ripoffs, and have been ripping Alice off long before this lawsuit.
GERRI’S ANSWER: I’m not ready to comment on the merit of the suit but it’s true that bands have borrowed from others for years. It’s nothing new.
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: If I was to comment on the merit of the suit, my opinion would still be worthless. However, I’m not going to comment because I want to appear like my opinion will matter a great deal and effect the outcome of the case. I’m such a bitch!

QUESTION FOR GERRI: Will Motley come anywhere near the state of North Carolina again? With the new law suite filed by the security guard from the Greensboro show last year,I was just wondering: WILL THEY COME BACK?
GERRI’S ANSWER: the itinerary I have has no NC on it, but there are supposed to be more dates next year
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: Nope, Motley is never coming to North Carolina again and Nikki wanted me to tell you that he hates you and hopes you die of painful testicular cancer. Thanks for your question!

QUESTION FOR GERRI: I heard vixen has a new album, where can I find their album? Also, what is the official Vixen line-up?
GERRI’S ANSWER: While Vixen released Tangerine last year and toured for it, the tour was cut short, and I’m not sure what the band’s status is right now. Drummer Roxy Petrucci got married Aug. 31.
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: Of course I know the current lineup. It’s as follows: Unsigned Spice on Vocals, No Record Sales Spice on Bass, Cellulite Spice on Guitar, and Saggy Tits Spice on Drums.

QUESTION FOR GERRI: Gerri, just wanted to compliment you again on another great KISS special. The new Psycho Circus Tour Magazine you guys did is great. Great articles and great pictures. Some very informative stuff there. I only wish you had a section on KISS websites there like you did in the previous 2 specials. The article on KISSOnline was cool but it would have been great to have the website reviews on fan websites like in the previous issue. Anyway, that is just a minor complaint (if you can call it that). Overall though it is a great issue and it comes at a great price (retail $5.99) It is much cheaper than the Starlog KISS special and it has more content. Attention all KISS fans, make sure to pick up this great magazine!! It is out now.
GERRI’S ANSWER: Glad you like it!
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: Glad you put more money in my pocket sucker!! For $5.99, I can buy another one of my black outfits from the Salvation Army. Thanks again!!

QUESTION FOR GERRI: Gerri, what ever happened to former Stryper drummer Robert Sweet? Also ,whatever happened to Robin Crosby? I heard he has Aids. I hope thats not true.
GERRI’S ANSWER: Last I heard Robert had a band called bLaNk (his spelling, not mine). Robbin does have Secret Service but according to Bobby Blotzer, does miss playing with Ratt. He doesn’t have AIDS (though is managing his HIV quite well from what I hear).
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: Isn’t HIV that new Pamela Anderson show? Oh, that’s VIP. Sorry. Anyways, Robbin doesn’t have AIDS, and I don’t have a CLUE. However, he has HIV, and I have PMS all year long, but we both try and manage quite well.

QUESTION FOR GERRI: How come Motley Crue didn’t release any songs from the Corabi era on their Greatest Hits CD?I was surprised to see that Hooligans Holiday was not on it.And also whatever happened to the Nasty Habits? I know Mick Mars was married to one of them.
GERRI’S ANSWER: According to Nikki, it’s because the lawsuit with John Corabi is ongoing. No idea about the Nasty Habits.
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: According to Nikki, it is because only 35 people bought the record with Corabi on it. Mick was married to Nasty Habit Emi Canyn, but she divorced him after she found out that Mick also wore a wig on his pubic hairs. She also figured out that Mick was lying about his age. He says he was born in 1956, when in reality she found out he was born in 1936. She wasn’t into that and decided to divorce him and take half his money. She took so much of his cash that now he can only afford to buy cheap $5 Elvira wigs.

QUESTION FOR GERRI: Gerri– Is GREAT WHITE still together? I saw them in Lewiston Idaho a couple years ago and the show was packed and great. Just wondering if they’re still together.
GERRI’S ANSWER: yes, they’re still together, and working on an album for ’99 release
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: Great White can be found playing at your local Holiday Inn bar on most nights. Occasionally, they will get a big gig and play at the grand opening of a Boston Market or maybe even a Del Taco. They will release a new album in ’99 that no one will care about and that I won’t mention. Thanks for you question!

QUESTION FOR GERRI: gerri what ever happend to tuff?? i really liked them and am wondering if you will still cover them? thank you
GERRI’S ANSWER: there’s nothing to cover. They broke up years ago
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: I hardly covered them when they were together you stupid dick, why would I cover them now! I never liked Tuff and I certainly don’t like you. Go play in the 401 freeway.

QUESTION FOR GERRI: I know you’re very busy so I’ll make it quick. Word is is that Kiss has canned the Circus act before the show. Have you heard this? Also thanks a lot for the rad coverage on Kiss.
GERRI’S ANSWER: I don’t know anything about this
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: I don’t know anything about this or anything else for that matter. However, I do know that Kiss wants me as a part of their opening circus act. I’m going to be paraded around in a cage as “The Balding Giant Hermaphrodite Albino Bitch Freak!” For a small fee, people will be able to poke me with hot sticks covered in monkey shit. But this will all occur BEFORE Kiss hits the stage, so get their early!!!

QUESTION FOR GERRI: Gerri, I read in the new Kiss special that the Psycho Circus video is the first video in 3D. But Skid Row had a 3D video for Psycho Love on their Roadkill video. Is there a difference between the two videos? Is one more 3D than the other? Just wondering. Thanks
GERRI’S ANSWER: Since I don’t have either I can’t compare them
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: I fucked up again. Since Skid Row did a 3D video before Kiss, that means Kiss isn’t the first band to have a 3D video. Yet again, I spread incorrect information. And you might be asking yourself, “Gerri, as the editor of Metal Edge, why don’t you have a copy of Skid Row’s home video, “Roadkill”. That’s because the cardboard box I live in under the Hollywood Freeway doesn’t have a VCR!

QUESTION FOR GERRI: Any update on Def Leppard’s current progress recording their new cd??? Any estimate on when it may be released in 1999? Also, I was checking out amazon.com and it stated that Jackyl is releasing a cd entitled “Stayin’ Alive” on November 17th. 3 live songs and 8 others I have never heard of are on it. Are those other 8 originals or covers? Thanks.
GERRI’S ANSWER: I have no Lep update and I’ve never heard of the Jackyl release you’re talking about. Choice Cuts, a compilation of studio, live, and cover songs, is already out.
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: I need to visit Metal Sludge more often, because they talked about the new Jackyl album weeks ago. Kurt Cobain is more in touch with the current scene than I am! Also, I’m not covering Jackyl unless they send me a free CD. If they don’t, fuck those inbreeders! By the way, Metal Sludge says those songs are 5 originals and 3 covers, but I’m too stupid to know that.

QUESTION FOR GERRI: gerri…..the only reason you disagree that metallica have not sold out is because you have to work with and for them….they sell your mag and your mag sells them…..period!!!!!!!!just like your no comments to the did peter play on the new kiss cd…..you know the truth to that but aren’t allowed to let people know because that is something you may have been promised not to say!!!!!!…….my point……be honest to these people or just say no comment……a no comment sounds much better than you saying you disagree…….it’s the truth metallica did sell out……they sold out long ago!!!!!!!!
GERRI’S ANSWER: So you’re a mind reader? Please don’t assume what I think or don’t think! You asked me why does Metallica suck now, and I responded that I didn’t agree. I DON’T THINK THEY DO! I don’t buy this sellout thing at all. To me, a band sells out when they don’t do what they want, but when someone tells them what to do and they do it against their judgment. Metallica always does what THEY want to do. And I happen to LIKE it.
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: Please don’t assume that I think at all!! To me, a band sells out when they don’t do what they want, but when someone (like me) tells them what to do (interviews with my magazine) and they do it against their judgement. Which means all the bands I cover are sell outs because they all hate me, yet do my rag cause they need to. So don’t say that I don’t know a thing or two about sellouts! I’m a creator of sellouts!

QUESTION FOR GERRI: IS LA Guns going back to their old sound now??
GERRI’S ANSWER: I’m not sure how to answer this because there is a new singer now and that would make anything the band does a bit different. I haven’t heard any demos so I don’t know.
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: I’m too lazy to give you a real answer. I talk a lot, but I never say anything. Unless Tracii sends me a free CD, I ain’t finding out shit, so go fuck yourself.

QUESTION FOR GERRI: Gerri, I just heard Eric (Brittingham) was in a bad wreck last night, and that he is in serious condition at a local hospital!! Do you know anything about this?!?!
GERRI’S ANSWER: I don’t have any details other than he was seriously injured. Since it’s Sunday and the band is on the road, I have to wait till the morning to make some calls. I’ll post as soon as I know something
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: I’m headed over to Metal Sludge to see what they have. I heard they reported it first since my tall giant ass was asleep at the wheel again.

QUESTION FOR GERRI: I was wondering why Sebastian Bach was misquoted in the Roundup of the new issue.
GERRI’S ANSWER: I don’t know what you’re referring to
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: Damn You Sebastian Bach!! Your the first person to bust me for misquoting people! But you know what, I’m just going to say it was the publishers who did it, and not me. And Bach, if you lip off anymore, you’ll be banished to the black and white photos that appear in the Metal Directory! Consider that your warning!

QUESTION FOR GERRI: Gerri, What are your favorite albums of 1998?
GERRI’S ANSWER: This is my list that will appear in the Mar. year-end issue:
Aerosmith – A Little South of Sanity
Union
Monster Magnet – Power Trip
Anthrax – Volume 8: The Threat is Real
Metallica – Garage Inc.
Marilyn Manson – Mechanical Animals
The Hunger – Cinematic Superthug
Godsmack
KISS – Psycho Circus
Candlebox – Happy Pills
Galactic Cowboys – At the End of the Day
Neurotica – Seed
Pushmonkey
Moon Dog Mane – Turn It Up!
Grinspoon – Licker Bottle Cozy

WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: Half the bands I listed I have no clue as to who they are. Do you really think I have ever listened to a Grinspoon, Godsmack, or Pushmonkey CD? Fuck no! I had some 18 year old Metal Edge intern fill me in on some cool trendy bands so I could look hip. I originally wanted to list Poison’s “Flesh & Blood”, and Warrant’s “Cherry Pie”, but somebody told me those albums came out years ago. Fuck, time flies when your in a time warp!

QUESTION FOR GERRI: Hey Gerri, I went to Rock Never Stops in Indianapolis and I overheard a fan ask Mark Slaughter about V.V. I heard he is a.w.o.l. I also heard he might have an E.P. around somewhere. Any Ideas? Thanks!!
GERRI’S ANSWER: Nope
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: I hate Vinnie Vincent with a passion you shithead!! I wish he would die of gonorrhea! He is one of the top people on my shitlist. Fuck him and fuck you! Thanks for your question!

QUESTION FOR GERRI: Why is it that the Alice Cooper group isn’t in the Hall of Fame? They haven’t even been on the ballot yet. With albums like Billion $ Babies, Killer, Love it to Death, and School’s Out, they should have easily been inducted by now.
GERRI’S ANSWER: I really don’t know anything about the criteria or procedure for the Hall of Fame other than you need to be a recording act for 25 years
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: Alice Cooper is a washed up hack and acts like he is constantly on the rag. I really don’t know anything about the criteria of making a ham and cheese sandwich, little alone how to get into the Hall Of Fame.

QUESTION FOR GERRI: Did Dr.LOve have the cure? Hope youre feeling better! Whats this I hear about Kiss doing away with the Circus act? Any truth to this? Stay well.
GERRI’S ANSWER: Still sneezing….but thanks for asking. As far as I know they’re doing away with it
WHAT GERRI REALLY MEANS: Still coughin’ up semen, thanks for asking. The reason Kiss is getting rid of the Circus act is because of me. It’s my fault! I was going to be featured as the “The Balding Giant Hermaphrodite Albino Bitch Freak!”, but Kiss figured I would scare too many people away. I then asked if I could just scoop up elephant shit, but they just decided to scrap the whole thing. Oh well, what can you do?