20 QUESTIONS WITH…

VIRGIN guitarist JIM TORGESON!

This is yet another interview we?ve conducted to promote the recently released Hollywood Rocks Box Set. If you want one, go to the Sludgendise store and order away. Former Virgin & China guitarist Jim Torgeson talks a lot and does not hold back. He seems to have been around during many of the cool years, and rubbed shoulders with the rich & famous. Bobby Dall, Rikki Rachtmen & Larry Flint included.

Read on Sludge piggies.

1. What are you up to in life with employment, family and of course music?

Personally, my life has been very successful. I married an exceptional beauty, in and out, who has given me 2 wonderful kids. Lauri, my wife, has really helped me focus and my kids, Rex and Jenna, are all the motivation a man needs to get ahead. The prosperity at home is awesome.

I began booking bands after I quit playing. Booking on the Strip was fun, but not enough. After a couple years, David Seven and I opened our own venue, The Electric Ballroom, in Tempe AZ (1994). It was a blast, but there were always crosshairs on it from day one.

We heard that the city wanted to take the property for a school 9 months before we opened! We lasted for a few years, booking everything from Megadeth to Prince, but it’s a school now. You can’t fight City Hall. Unfortunately, iy got ugly, but life goes on..

I own automotive/retail promotions company (Jet Media Promotions, Inc.) that takes the street promotion of the Sunset Strip to a whole new level. WWW.SIGNWALKERS.COM is the web address. It’s been “very, very good to me.”

I also own a refrigeration distributorship for Arizona, New Mexico and Nevada (Desert Chill Southwest). I’ve had it 2 months and it will be my retirement. The product can be seen at www.Duracool.com. Our distributorship site won’t be up for a couple more weeks, but it’s great stuff. All natural, environmentally safe refrigerant that cools cheaper and better than what you’ve been using all this time.

I have an application for a new club in the liquor licensing process, but I’m not holding my breath on it. This state is pretty strange about it’s liquor licensing and my old club, the Electric Ballroom, really pushed the envelope with the Moral Majority here. No matter what I do in life, I will open a club again because the energy is just so intoxicating. There really is nothing better than the vibarancy of a cool music venue. I just gotta get past the “better than thou” people and… BAM! Rock ‘n’ Roll again.

2. You are one of many bands on the Hollywood Rocks Box Set but oddly enough you are featured twice, in two different bands. Well sort of…minus the typos. Tell us a litte about China and about Virgin?

China was actually a great band. Hopefully, Cleopatra can get the right bio in there by the next pressing. We were very young (17-21) when we started, but were very real. We started out as “Barbie”. The name was a joke (not based on the doll). As we grew, Mattel got wind of a bunch of hooligans defaming their top product. We were very out of control and I could understand their issue.

Not being your typical Strip guy, I talked their attorney into paying us to change our name. $20K as I remember. We fought over the name change and ended up with dumbass “China”. I wanted “Virgin” or “Slave”, but, less articulate minds won out.

When we finally got it all right, we fell apart. Plenty of label interest, plenty of fans, plenty of ego, drugs and immaturity. I was intolerant of Clark’s habits as he was intolerant of my intolerance. Had I thought it through more, we would have lasted. Hindsight is 20/20.

The band was great. Our demo sucked as it was too polished and not really representative of the punk roots Clark so wildly displayed. He’s no longer with us due to that nasty heroin habit, but he really was a rock God in the raw. Clark had all the charisma in the world, the looks, attitude and presence. What a waste. We were so much more rough than what the strip had to offer at the time.

Virgin was Steve Bentley, the drummer from China, and I sweating it out for a couple years. We auditioned some great people, but didn’t click with them. There was a guy, David Damien, that had a great voice, but he was really too glam and we had moved on to a dirtier vibe. We enlisted Kelly Nichols at one point, but Tracii Guns got a deal and, bam… there went the 3rd coolest bass player from the 80’s (behind Sixx and Dall).

After some time, Bob Dall said I should try to poilish the rough edges off Riki Rachtman as a vocalist. We tried. Much to Riki’s credit, he helped us sell a ton of tickets at the door. His club was gaining popularity and with our existing base, we picked up like we never left off. Playing 2 nights, back to back, was always a blast. Not having to participate in “presale tickets” didn’t suck either.

Virgin Music put us in the studio right away, but, Riki didn’t care to work on things any more than he already did. He was making great money at Cathouse and was enjoying the fruits of his labor. Dirt bike riding with Micky Finn was more inportant than honing his skills.

Steve lost it one day and fired him. We thought we’d find the right guy quickly because we were in a good situation and still had studio time and money available. Again, hindsight is 20/20. We should have waited to fire him.

It took forever and we ended up with Bob Webb. That guy could sing, but, boy, did it suck playing with him. It killed my spirit. I looked at Steve, in the middle of a gig at the Roxy (12/23/91) and said I’d had enough. Webb’s girlfriend was sure I was going to hit him on stage. True joy killer. Took every bone in my body not to hit that guy.

3. You also worked for years at the famous “Guitars-R-Us” on Sunset Strip. Did your time working at that store in the heart of Hollywood make it overly interesting at any point? What guitar players came in, who was a dick, & who was cool as hell?

Everyone came in… EVERYONE. Howie Hubberman worked with everyone from Poison to GNR and everybody in town wanted to rub elbows. I made some great friends because of that store. Let me tell you a little about a few who come to mind;

Howie Hubberman – a tornado a of a band manager, kept his file cabinet in his left pants pocket and his bank account in the right. I love this guy and owe a whole lot of knowledge about business and guitars to him. I still talk to him and have nothing but fond memories.

Albert Molinaro – Howie’s partner at Guitars R Us. We still talk, I just bought a pair of Lindy Fralin pickups from him. This guy knows more about vintage instruments than the next 10 experts. I learned alot. Can’t wait to show him my new acquisitions!

Michael Lockwood – he worked at GRUS after Lions and Ghosts split up. In retrospect, he taught me there is value to piping down. Watching him play also taught me to pipe down, musically. I hear he and Lisa Marie Presly are getting married. Totally underrated player. I want a Velvet Elvis.

Robbin Crosby – Came in almost every day he was in town. Took me to El Compadre constantly. A great, huge heart and a tragic ending. Really a great guy though. Just an example of how the party ends for some. He’s the poster child of what can go wrong. His service was sad because so many “friends” didn’t show.

John Frusciante – Man, can that guy pound the dope. He came in so f’d up that $100 bills were falling out of his pockets. He bought a ’63 Strat and didn’t even wait for the case. Then he flagged down a bus and jumped on. What a mess.

Brian Setzer – Class act and a friggin’ kick ass guitar player. Hot (now ex) wife too boot.

The local guys, whether it was Slash, Izzy, CC DeVille, Tracii Guns, Mark V. (the Funhouse guy), the midget from Tuff (love ya George), Ethan from Taz… were all great to deal with. Ego checked in at the door. It was where you went during the day.

Bob Dall and I became friends through that store moe than the Strip. Howie had me buy him a burger over at the Sunset Grill and I decided he wasn’t a pusy and he decided I wasn’t an asshole. Been friends ever since. Howie later told me he knew we’d be best of friends, that’s why he forced me to buy him a burger!

I remember that Mark Worshell from Johnny Crash got a little much to handle when bathing became second (or 50th) priority.

People like Springsteen were great to meet. That guy has a huge presence. The Steely Dan guy was fun and an amazing player. Van Zandt told me that my brother worked for him and that he was still a mess. Polite Southern Gentleman!

The Black Crowes couldn’t play their instruments when they came in! I was stunned that Geffen gave them a deal. When Mark Ford joined, I figured he could give the other guy lessons. They sucked!

I’m actually at a loss at how many people came in. Paul Stanley, Ace Frehley, Vinny Vincent (real toolbox), every LA band, Zakk Wylde, Beach Boys, Jackson Browne, Billy Duffy, Tom Petty, Dwight Yokum, Billy Zoom (mad scientist)… no real dicks in that place. Am I forgetting some asshole?

4. What rock star deserves a smack in the mouth today, and who deserved one on the Sunset Strip back in 1989?

Axl Rose, Mr. Bill Bailey, needs a foot in his mouth… mine. I cannot understand being such an ungrateful prick. It’s all been said before.

Vince Neil already got one from me in 1983, no follow up necessary. He did cheap shot Bob Dall last year and, knowing Bob, Vince is lucky they took Bob away.

CC DeVille because he’s fucking his own life up. He’s going to die if he doesn’t straighten up. He’s actually an intelligent guy sans alcohol. I might beat his ass on principal alone next time I’m in town. Fuck rehab, pay me to beat you everytime you look at a bottle for 30 days, that’ll sober your ass up!

Back in the day, I handed out many a can of whoopass. Most of the scene had a comraderie, so there weren’t too many beatings to people in bands. I guess just about every guy in a lame spandex and leg warmers band desrved what they got, especially if they were from OC!

I handed Drew Forsythe a mouthfull of tree for cheap shotting Trixx Vitolo (Creature) back in the day. That was funny! Never knew what hit him.

5. Rate guitar players 1-10. 1 being a hack and 10 being a Guitar God.

Tracii Guns = 9! He’s so underrated. Haven’t heard from him in a while.
CC DeVille = 8, believe it or not. When he wants to, he plays so effortlessly that it’s sick.
Mick Mars = 10! It’s called style. You know it’s him. That tone started a revolution.
Jorge DeSaint = 4… Sorry, little dude! Nice, but average.
Michael Angelo = 5… Perfect technique, faster than God, ambidexterous, but boring. Nice guy, guess I’ll get no Xmas cards there.
George Lynch = 8… just a bit predictable, but a technical monster.
Slash = 9… set a style for a whole genertion.
Ingwie Malmsteen = 7… Bach meets Richie Blackmore and boring, but proficient.
Joe Normal = 9 because he was just so fucking cool. Tone and style mean everything to me. I actually played that album last week.
Bruce Kullick = 5 because he’s VANILLA! He’s a great guy, but those KISS albums sucked. Gene, Paul, you suck without Ace.

How about
Zakk Wylde – 10!!! Today’s reigning guitar god. The coolest mofo and a blast to hang with. I’ve heard rehab rumors.
Joe Pery – 9! Can you say STYLE!!! America’s Jimmy Page.
Angus Young – 10! 3 chords that will reign in infamy! STYLE!
Ace Frehley – 9! KISS, without him, sucks.

Guess I’m a style guy who respects technique. Keith Richards is cooler than those 80’s shredder guys.

6. Virgin featured Riki Rachtmen on vocals, and no doubt was a major boost for the name once he joined the band. How did Riki’s celebrity MTV Vj status and Cathouse name help or hinder the band?

Cathouse helped because there was such a huge social scene; mudwrestlers, strippers, porn stars, hookers, rockstars, drug dealers… all the essential ingredients for the late 80’s. It also hindered because we began to look like a novelty act. When Virgin was no longer a priority for Riki, we was fired. Sad, but true.

He got the MTV gig later. Then he became the Ryan Seacrest of our generation. This is a guy who wore blue eyeshadow when I met him and now pretends he was nothing but hardcore. He can be fun if he wants to, but gets his reputation on his own merits.

7. Speaking of Riki & the band Virgin, this is a quote from him during his 20?s “In the 80’s I played 2 or 3 shows in a horrible band called Virgin.” Any follow up to that from you?

More like 20 or 30 shows, but the weak link was always him. That’s him trying to be badass. You’d think he could come to grips with whatever makes him put others down to make himself look better. It doesn’t work.

I’ll say it straight:
Riki was weak.
The final touch on any band is the singer.
He never tried to improve even after Virgin Music spent a bundle on us.
The producer, engineer and our drummer thought I should have been the singer.
His frame of reference for being a great singer was Taime Downs?!
We should have replaced him before firing him… that was stupidity on our part. John Corabi said no…
He got somewhere as a scenester, but not a musician / rockstar. There’s a term for that.
He brings a lot of negative energy to his space.
He lacks qualities like humility that help you grow and, eventually, succeed.

I could go on forever, but I really try to avoid thinking negative. I though we buried the hatchet years ago, but, fuck him.

8. Answer this question, “The biggest misconception about ___________ …?
Hollywood is = that the Strip is there. It’s in West Hollywood.
Guns n Roses is = that Axl wrote November Rain and Don’t Cry.
Playing in a band is = that it’s all that easy. You’re married to 3 other nuerotic fools.
Doing drugs is = that the party stops exactly when it should.
The Sunset Strip in 1989 is = that bands actually were paying to play. People wanted to play so badly.
Having Long Hair is = that it limits your access to hot chicks that aren’t in the scene. It doesn’t.
Getting older and gaining weight is = that it doesn’t happen… it does, it sucks! I’m 40 years old and 40 over and spending valuable time trying to stay healthy. Damn, youth is wasted on the young. If I weighed 188 again…hell, if I weighed 205 I’d be thrilled! Damn, shoulda kept the boots on the stage and not the desk!
Sex is = that it gets boring. After the first 100 girls, you begin to figure it out. It still feels good! I gotta admit that I did learn to appreciate brains in a girl. What I don’t get is letting it get boring. Fuck it, you eat everyday, what do you do to keep from getting bored? Spice that shit up! Pour some honey on her and go!
CC DeVille is = that he’s an idiot. He’s so well informed that it’ll hurt your brain keeping up with him. I enjoy sober time with him.
Metal Sludge is = that it’s not the next big thing. Stevie is the next Bob Guccione, just wait. It’s the only way he can get… er, uh, um… I love this site so much, I actually bought a jersey before Stevie came out of the closet. I want a freebie!

9. Of all the bands you ever shared the stage with, who were the biggest dicks and who were the coolest?

The biggest dick, ever, was Marq Torein who, while OPENING for China, refused to get off the stage or take his gear off. He ruduced our set to 6 minutes before curfew at some State Fair in San Bernadino. We even asked to use his gear to get some time. His response: “can’t let you wield on my axe, dude!” What a friggin’ tool. He has teeth in his head because there was a sherrif 15 feet away, otherwise, you could call him denture boy. I should have knocked his sorry one hit wonder ass into oblivion. Grim Reaper were toolboxes.

Kix was actually cool to us. They shared their dressing room (when Donny wasn’t around), talked shop (guitars), shared the rider and their drummer was so cool. They were a TIGHT band!

10. During your time as a Hollywood “rock star” were you ever romantically linked with a porn star, hollywood starlet, or some famous video slut?

Yea, yea and yea. Gentlemen don’t kiss and tell, but then again, we’re talking about me! It seems like half the girls you met were doing some porn or escorting. I hate to say this, but so many were so unimportant in the long run, that I can’t remember the “aliases”. Lorrie Lovette comes to mind. A few of these girls are/were married, so, I’ll save them the embarrassment.

There was a really cool lady named Marisa Roebuck. I completely mishandled that situation. She went on to American Galdiators, did some real movies, posed in Playboy and married some movie star. She was a class act, ridiculously attractive, and way out of my league at the time. I blew that opportunity. Oh, well. I did great in the end and am that rare “happily married with children” guy.

I’d like to take this opportunity to apologize to any female that felt unappreciated for her efforts. I’ve never been a mysoginist, but I definitely didn’t take any time with some people who probably deserved more. Anyhow, I married a perfect woman who I adore and have learned how to show appreciation a bit better.

11. Give us a Hollywood memory of the following clubs:
Troubadour - Doug Weston chasing Kelly Rhoads around wanting man love. Eddie taking over the club and watching him become a class act. A man was begging and Eddie bought him lunch rather than a handout. Learned something there.
Coconut Teaser - PURPLE, PURPLE, PURPLE… never played there, but had fun! Hit a guy in the parking lot so hard, that he browned his trowsers before dropping. It was actually kinda scary because I thought I’d get in real trouble.
Whisky A-Go-Go – sold out shows, sweat dripping from the ceiling, feeling like I had the world by the ass. Absolutely the standard to which all real rock clubs must be judged by. An adrenalin rush. Had my office there for a year.
Rainbow - I don’t think the statute of limitations has run out. A girl, a video game called “Pole Position”, I better plead the Fifth. Mario, Michael, Tony and Eddie gave me an education in how to make customers feel welcome.
X-Poseur 54 - What a blast. Renee and David lived in AZ for a while, but we’ve lost touch. This room was the inspiration for my floor layout of the Electric Ballroom. O, yea…Lesbians!!!
Cathouse - Great times. Riki did “carpe deum” and ran with it. Some really sick, perverted things happened in that place. I guess Riki did do something right!
Gazzarris - Loved that stage. Years later, Henry Spiegle and I tried to buy it. Alas, we’re not Italians! Old Man Gazzarri raised the roof 3 feet with car jacks and sat on a toilet in his office while doing business. Sick man.
The Roxy - The stage I played my last real show on. There was also a night with Debi Diamond and Falon that got out of control before the fire department came a knockin’ for being 300 people over capacity! I know that Tommy Gunn and I could have been arrested for that!
The Central (Viper Room) - I actually tried to buy the Central at one point. She wanted $450K and I just couldn’t raise it at the time. That’s where Bob introduced me to Riki Rachtman on Haloween 1987.
Scream - Great money maker of a club. Dale had the right idea, but the clientele all thought the were “all that”… even for that alt/goth scene. “Kiss, kiss, bang, bang… kiss this and hang”

12. Everyone at Metal Sludge loves a good Warrant story. You got one?

Vicky Hamilton wanted me to talk to Jani after he broke up Plain Jane. I thought we has way too much of a pussy at the time and scoffed at the notion. He went on to join Warrant and the rest is history.

Riki arranged for them to open for us at the Cathouse once. Double Platinum Warrant opening for us, that was funny.

Obi Stienman wanted to throw me out of the Warrant dressing room in 1994 when they played AZ, but Jani told him to “Shut the fuck up and go way!” Unfortunately, no bad Warrant stories.

But I’ve got a great Obi story!!!

In 1993, I booked South Gang and Slammin’ Gladys ta play the Whisky as a favor to Shelly Bergren. The deal was that the label and management were supposed to support it with ticket buys and advertising because it was a short notice gig. I was only going to make 15% of the profit, so they had to make it happen.

Warrant’s manager fired Shelly shortly after the deal was struck and summarily ignored the agreement. They wanted $2500 to show up! I told them to piss off, it was a Tuesday and I could care less; show canceled 6 days out!

Eventually, I agreed to give them all the profit if they executed the agreement with all the advertising and ticket buys. I really didn’t care about the money and these guys needed to showcase for their labels and I didn’t want to be the dick. I figured I’d get some goodwill out of it eventually.

In the end, they had 400 guests and about 200 paid admissions. The show made $126.

I tried to pay Obi and he blew his stack, threatening to beat my ass! That’s a mistake!

I started to laugh at him and he got more and more angry. He had his brother(?) try to get it on it too! He demanded $2500. That wasn’t the deal, too bad. I’m surprised he didn’t have a heart attack.

He gave me 90 seconds to think about it or it would get physical! Keep in mind, I’m a big boy and had Terry “The Wall” (6’6′ 500lbs) right next to me.

He came in to give me another “chance” when I told him “if you don’t take $126, I’m going to buy dinner for hookers at Norm’s with your money! One more outburst and it WILL get physical!” I gave him a minute to take it or I was gonna bail.

Obi stood in the lobby, I counted the seconds, walked past him, got in my car, told Shelly that I was buying dinner for wayward women, and sped off down the Strip. Obi stood in front of the Whisky cursing my ass for half an hour and then tried to explain to his bands that he (and Warren Enter) cut a bad deal and they’d be paid later. Shelly could only laugh at him.

I refused to pay him even the $126 later because it was money already well spent! F him.

For years, Obi has said he would get me banned from the business. What a tool!

13. Name 3 bands off the Sunset Strip who had NO business getting signed and 3 who should’ve been huge?

Damn, I try to forget bad bands.
Pandora’s Box, they blew. Maybe literally.
Pretty Boy Floyd, well, ugh…
STRYPER! I wish they’d go meet God! The “yellow and black attack” makes me want to hurl.

Who shoulda been huge? Besides China?

There was a great band called B.O.S.S. The Botherhood of Sexual Survival. That band crushed. There was everything necessary to be an LA White Zombie. The singer was a guy named Peter who had a handle on that whole vibe.
I though Darling Cruel had “it” and Greg was a true talent.
The Zeros should have been huge. What great songs.
Oh, yea… and L.S.D. … Great band!

14. Ahh the good old days…please tell us about a crazy Hollywood night. Name names, tell of the sex, the cocaine, and of course more about the cocaine? Who, where, what, why & when?

I was never a drinker or drugee. I figured if I was sober, I’d get everyone else’s girl… I was right! I stopped drinking after my friends told me I hit Vince Neil at the Roxy. That was 1983. I’ve never been a drugee because I value my IQ. I actually graduated UCLA and drugs could’ve endangered that education.

To paint a picture of debauchery, imagine being 20 years old, inside of a famous Sunset Strip bar and rubbing elbows with every rockstar of the day. After visiting the World Famous Rainbow Bar and Grill bathroom with a 20 year old hottie from OC, you get invited to a party. She just did Hustler and thinks you’re “cool” so you can come…

In Bel Aire, you pull up to an amazing property with guarded gates. A huge mansion. You go inside to see a marble floor entrance in the shape of a vagina, statues of Little Boy Blue screwing a chicken and a vault door for a bedroom door… you are in Larry Flynt’s home.

His wife has a tray of cocaine and looks like someone has covered her face in baby powder! Her “date” in Nadir D’Priest and she says she needs sex! Lots of it, now! Who knows what happened in that room. There were a few in there! Althea, I mean.

You go down the hall, looking into bedrooms, just watching in amazement as girls that are way too you to be there are intimate with 20 something scenesters. A girl named “Cat” was taking on 3 guys at the same time, there’s a lesbian show going on downstairs, more cocaine, too much booze and not a condom in sight. One girl wanted to be called a “glazed donought”… enough said already.

Sounds like a bad porno, but, in 1984, it was reality. Wild, unprotected sex, booze, drugs, you name it. It’s amazing that more people aren’t dead from what they did back then. It was depraved, but that was 1984.

15. Where?s the strangest place you?ve ever pleasured yourself or had a groupie do it for you?

Never pleasured myself in public, but got “a little help from my firends…” The video room at the Rainbow, the women’s bathroom at the Whisky, the office at the Roxy, behind GRUS, the Country Club drssing room, Madame wong’s, the rooftop of the BofA next to the Rainbow, Geffen Records, El Compadre, Troubadour… I can’t remember it all…

16. Kill, fuck, Marry! (CC DeVille, Paris Hilton, Vicki Hamilton)

I love Vick, so I’ll go for the “marry” option. She’s underrated as a person.
Paris Hilton is a undiscovered talent. Just ask her. She demonstrates incredible ability in her home video, so she gets the “fuck”. I can think of 3000 other women I’d prefer though.

C.C. is on the road to self destruction, so, if my options have run out, I’ll just expediate the process and beat him to death. Sorry C.C., but I’m not marrying or fucking you and you’re already killing yourself. Could be good, clean fun too!

17. If you could be a tampon for any celebrity, who would it be & why?

Oprah Winfrey. I could give her Toxic Shock Syndrome and save the world from her pious whining. Please shop Herme’s.

18. What does God look like?

Where did you get this from? I have had this conversation with a lesbian athiest!
If God is truly a reflection of what He created, then He is neither man nor woman, black nor white, gay nor straight… He would have to be everything that everyone is, has been or will ever be.

I dunno, that’s kinda like trying to imagine the edge of the universe.
Who am I? Tom Cruise? This is stupid, why don’t I give you a personal introduction to God and beat you to death?

19. The Last of Jim Torgeson…

Last rock star you shook hands with = Bob Dall
Last time you handed out a flyer = Actually, in November when I ran for the House. Otherwise, 12/91.
Last live gig you played = Two years ago, I played with some friends in “Los Ramones”. It was a Ramones Tribute in Spanish and I wore a Mexican wrestling mask! Viva el louchadores! We did about 3 gigs for fun, otherwise 12/23/91 at the Roxy.
Last fast food drive thru you hit = Carl’s Jr.
Last time you wiped more than 5 times = 45 minutes after Carl’s Jr.
Last 80s CD you bought new = Does Red, White and Crue count? Damn, I’m outed!
Last time punched someone = New Year’s Eve 2000. I hate wife beaters, so I taught him some respect. Police though it was funny! No arrest, no conviction! My wife told me it’s time to stop… she’s right. Tame the beast.
Last autograph you signed = About 3 months ago. Weird, huh!?
Last time you wore make up = Haloween 1993, I went to the Mason Jar and prenteded to be Franco’s girlfriend to win the $25 Grand Prize!
Last time you logged on Sludge = Evey morning, noon and night. More trash talk, please.

20. Word Association

Axl Rose = What the fuck did you do to you face? I could have made you that ugly for 1/2 the price!
Rueben Blue = The King of Rock City. Ruben will survive it all. A real trooper.
Howie Hubberman = Buy, sell, trade, buy, sell, trade…
Bobby Dall = Family. A truer friend there cannot be. Class Act.
Howard Stern = Truth! Sirius is on my Xmas list.
Bill Gazzarri = Young girls and cocaine.
Gene Simmons = Remembers everyone he meets. There’s more to life than money, Demon.
Taime Downe = Never say die! Keepin’ the dream alive.
Pauly Shore = Young girls and cocaine… hey, maybe Bill Gazzarri lives! Sam!!!!!!!!
Ozzy Osbourne = What happened to the Prince of Fucking Darkness?

Good stuff Jim. Now let?s refresh shall we Sludge piglets and pigs.

Jim use to play guitar, wear make up and spray his hair up.
Jim use to look like an oversized transvestite. The pictures are proof.
Now he owns a refrigeration distributorship in the South West.
Bobby Dall told Jim to hire Riki Rachtmen.
Riki said the band was horrible.
Jim said Riki was weak.
Metal Sludge says: Blame it on Bobby, he?s from Poison.
Jim called Jorge DeSaint a midget & Vinnie Vincent a tool box.
Jim said if I weighed 205 I’d be thrilled!
Metal Sludge asks: How much do you weigh Jim? Two fitty?
Jim spent Obi Steinman?s money on hookers and dinner at Norms.
Jim called Obi a tool.
Jim hung at Larry Flint?s house with Nadir D?Priest and tray full of blow.

The moral of the story is always use a tool when snorting blow with hookers which should all be paid for by Warrants manager Obi Steinman!