20 Questions With Darrell Millar, 12/18/01

 

20 QUESTIONS WITH…

Killer Dwarfs/Laidlaw Drummer Darrell Millar

Now you’re probably saying, “Isn’t Darrell Miller that guitar player for W.A.S.P?”

Nope, that’s Darrell Roberts.

Now you’re probably thinking, “Oh, that’s right, Darrell Millar was the Editor of Metal Edge, right?”

Wrong again silly. That’s Gerri Miller.

“So who is Darrell Millar?”

That’s a good question. Too bad we don’t have a good answer.

Here’s the story. Jim Bob Dwarf is the webmaster for the Killer Dwarfs’ website. Darrell Millar is the drummer for the Killer Dwarfs, and for Laidlaw, who at one time was on Nikki Sixx’s Americoma Record label. Over the last year, Jim Bob Dwarf has been begging us to do 20 Questions with Darrell Millar. And he’s been asking us only because Darrell Millar has been crying to Jim Bob that he wanted to do 20 Questions. But doing 20 Questions with Darrell ranked right up there with playing chicken with a train, so we weren’t in any hurry to do it. Eventually, Jim Bob sent us photos of poor Darrell all depressed because he never got his 20 Questions.

So being the Holiday Season, we thought we’d do some charity work and give Darrell Millar 20 Questions! Who says Metal Sludge doesn’t have a heart? If we can be the highlight of somebody’s career, it’s only right that we do that.

Enjoy!

1. What’s going on in the sad, lonely world of Darrell Millar? This is your only chance to plug your projects, tours, websites, etc.
Oh… ya know… sitting around sucking my own dick because I can… Lonely sounds good!!!! Currently I’m in three bands. I drum in Killer Dwarfs and Laidlaw and I’m the lead singer in a Tribute to Bon Scott called Auto/bon. I have started my own label uNKLEdUNK Records. I am filming a series of DVD drum clinics, as well I am in the process of launching a new online magazine dirtyroadies.com. I have my own site where I promote drumsticks I endorse (EMMite) among other things of interest. These sites have all the info:
www.darrellmillar.com
www.killerdwarfs.com
www.laid-law.com

2. Do you realize that the only reason we’re doing 20 Questions with you is because we’ve run out of people to talk to?
Awesome!!!!

3. Other than Killer Dwarfs, what hard rock/heavy metal band should give up and call it a day?
None….. quitters suck!!!!

4. Not that anyone cares, but what’s your status in Laidlaw? First we heard you were kicked out, then Laidlaw was broken up, and now you’re back in again. What’s up with that?
Laidlaw rocks…. I was never out… and the band never broke up… The singer has been replaced with the original singer Joey Pantera and a second CD is ready to go. You’re ill-informed….. probably Jim Bob’s fault again…

5. How was life while signed to Nikki Sixx’s record label? Do artists really trust artists?
FuckYa…… but I don’t think Sixx wanted to shell 2 million dollars out, and that’s about what it takes to put a bands name in the headlines, and put real Rock and Roll into the ears of a generation who forgot the Beatles. Sixx supports real Rock and Roll…. that’s good enough for me… Music
lovers will figure it out before long when the Ecstasy wears off…

6. Rank the following drummers on a scale from one to 10. 1 barely being able to twirl sticks and 10 being a skin-banging motherfucker:
Tommy Lee = 10-Pounding
Rikki Rockett = 7 – Flash Pete
Randy Castillo = 10 – Awesome guy… we Partied… Motley/Scorps/Laidlaw tour.
Ricky Parent = 7 – ya… drums.
Frankie Banali = 9 – he can play
Bobby Blotzer = 9 – said I rock at universal LA.
Neil Peart = 14 – Canadian legend and Drum God.
Eric Singer = 10 – Great guy….. does a good Barney Rubble… dah… Ok Fred!!!
Blas Elias = 9 – Plays Ludwig
Mike Fasano = 7 – ya… drums

7. Why in hell would anyone name a band after a company that leases school buses? Did it have something to do with Nikki not shelling out the dough for a real tour bus?
He did…. with all school girls aboard!!!!

8. Back in ’88, on the 2nd to last night of the Dwarfs’ UK tour with Iron Maiden, Bruce Dickinson pulled down your pants in front of like 10,000 people at Wembley Arena. Then the very next night at the Hammersmith Odeon, Bruce lifted you over his head and threw you off the stage! You must want revenge. If we arranged to get you and Bruce in the ring, no-holds-barred-Smackdown-style, would you do it?
First off: Nothing happened at Wembley. It happened at the Hammersmith, London for a laugh on the last night tour pranks. Maiden didn’t like my zebra cowboy boots, so I dressed up in zebra underwear, Mickey Mouse suspenders (so the underwear wouldn’t come off… they worked well) a skull mask and 2 cocktails in hand and ran on stage in the tune “Die with your Boots on.” When I was leaving the stage Bruce just caught the back of my gotch and stretched them like a Three Stooges episode. They snapped and came off. Fair game in a prank. Later in the show I was dancing around a prop Stonehenge the crew had mocked up with ole Mick Dwarf. Bruce again grabbed me and launched me into the sea of sods and the Maiden fans parted like the Red Sea, and my carcass banged hard off the ole unforgiving Hammersmith floor. The fact that I was soaked in Cocaine, Jack Daniels and Heineken was the only thing that saved me from death. (I had just got divorced and was going extra hard.) Bruce took me to dinner the next night with his wife and we had a pleasant time. And fuck no I wouldn’t get in a ring with him with Swords.

9. Where the hell did your nickname “Dog’s Balls” come from? Do you have some kind of bestiality fetish?
Given to me by a crew personality named Rangy, who worked for Maiden, and went on to work for Pagey. Great guy. Haven’t heard from him over the years, but (Dogs Balls) is kind of a slang term in the U.K for pain in the ass. Lovingly of course… NOT.

10. Rate the following chicks on a scale from one to 10. 1 being a bucket of feces and 10 being a real-life Aphrodite:
Carmen Electra = 10 – Hot
Pamela Anderson = 10 – Sex machine
Mandy Moore = 9 – Haven’t seen her much
Tara Reid = 9 – Hot
Jennifer Lopez = 9 – S.N.L…. Jay HO
Neve Campbell = 10 – Canadian Bacon
Britney Spears = 10 – Totally hot
Shania Twain = 10 – Totally hot Canadian country bacon
Lorraine Lewis from Femme Fatale = 8 – I’m not going there
Gerri Miller = 12 – She’s a nice ole gal.

11. How can anyone who is 6’2″ be called a “Dwarf?”
Fuck I’m sick of that question.

12. What rock star deserves a smack in the mouth and why?
Yngwie Malmsteen could have used a smack, when he demanded Ronbo Dwarf sell his Taurus pedals to him when we did a show with Dio and the guitar hero. He also wouldn’t leave our dressing room in New York one night, and continued to say, “what are ya new…” and Peter Crisis’s drumtech said… no… but I remember when you were. (Got a bump?)

13. How long has it been since you’ve owned a car?
Funny you should ask…. I owned a few different vehicles in the 80’s. I had a bitchin 2 door Nova that could have been done up nice. I got my license at 16…. but let it expire in 90 due to band members asking me to drive all the time… and with my alcohol intake, it just isn’t safe. I plan on
renewing it… but for now I don’t drive… Legally.

14. Your musical career is littered by run-ins with Sebastian Bach. When’s the last time you saw the Bitch-boy and did he even remember you?
I seen him when we (Laidlaw) were on tour with Motley in New York. I’m not going to rip on Baz. He personally pulled Killer Dwarfs on the Skid/Pantera tour in 93. I’m sure management said fuck the Dwarfs. He did piss me off in New York last time though. We were backstage and he was rotted and rowdy as usual and spilled my drink all over me and I was fried from touring and not in the mood. So I went and changed and brushed it off. I had a new shirt on and ran into him again on the way to the bus…. and then he did the same fucking thing. This time I told him to chill and Fuck Off…. he looked at me and said, “What…. Are you Scribing me down??? (Dwarf Term) Go hang out with people you don’t know.” I was with Snake and Craig DeFalco. That’s the last time I saw him. He can be misunderstood… I love em.

15. Which do you prefer and why?
Skid Row or Pantera = Love Skid Row but Pantera started a cool fresh thing.
Molson or Moosehead = Molson… some say I was born there.
Bon Scott or Brian Johnson = Bon Scott is my fav… I sing the shit out of it.
Tama or Ludwig drums = Ludwig…..Tama make great kick pedals.
Touring Canada or touring the USA = Both equal… we’re on the same team.
Americoma or Bullseye Records = Americoma/Laidlaw…. great attempt in an unfair market. Bullseye is Dwarfs and is about to re-release some of our old catalogue and a DVD. I can’t compare.
Anal sex or blowjobs = Sword fights in her mouth are the best… but smashing her ass in is always an accomplishment.
Jason Hook or Buzzy James = Man… Jason is an awesome guitar player… but Buzzy James is my fave slide, all around timing… loud in my monitor all night with wicked feel shit kicken ass fucker of a guitar player. In the words of Rickey Medlocke… The Buzzmaster Rulz.
Slaves On Dope or The Tragically Hip = The Hip…. I would be run out of Toronto if I didn’t vote for these Bastards.
Bob & Doug MacKenzie or Jay & Silent Bob = Bob & Doug… Nosers… Pussy, Cocaine and Back Bacon (Gary MacLean… R.I.P.)

16. Where’s the strangest place you’ve ever pleasured yourself?
I’m like Rodney Dangerfield… I don’t get any pleasure or respect from the Sludge. I bought a used car and found my wife’s dress in the back seat…

17. Your cousins Jerry and Dennis McRohen were in Steppenwolf, and Dennis even wrote the classic “Born To Be Wild.” How come none of your bands ever made it or had a hit single?
What! I have lots of hits… you haven’t heard “Hand Carving In The Back Of My Car.” It’s huge in Brazil… who does your research… Jim BOB..

18. Isn’t it true, Darrell, that you’re happy that Russty’s band Penny Black really has had no success?
Ya I’m Happy… Happy we got to go back out and kick some major rock and roll ass again on tour.

19. How do you live with the fact that your webmaster is more famous than you are?
He deserves to be more famous than me… he’s a good lad.

20. Time for Metal Sludge’s Word Association. We mention a name and you give us your thoughts:
Russ Dwarf = Bro… Best frontman in rock and a goat roper
Alice Cooper = God of frontmen in rock – Total respect
Nicholas Walsh = Bro…. and should be a star
Jani Lane = Respect him for still rocking
Vince Neil = Wore my leather on Letterman 97/98
The Little Kingz = The real Killer Dwarfs
Helix = Bro’s… and scared veterans
Kip Winger = Chicken Winger
Craig DeFalco = Bro… and driving force of Laidlaw
Nikki Sixx = Never got to know ole Sixx that well but – Total Respect and he got some of the best tracks out of me to date.
Mike Hall = Bro… and an awesome musician…. not a bad fighter either.

For more info on the sad, lonely world of Darrell Millar, you can visit the following sites:
www.darrellmillar.com
www.killerdwarfs.com
www.laid-law.com