RANDOM THOUGHTS ON GENE SIMMONS LATEST COMMENTS
by Ozzy, Jani, and Taime

On September 12th, Gene Simmons put up a letter on KissOnline.com (good timing Gene). It’s pretty funny, so instead of just Ozzy Stillbourne giving his Random Thoughts on it, a few of us are joining in. After Gene’s original letter went up, he posted a reply to it on September 13th. Both of those ramblings are here along with our comments. We really couldn’t resist putting this up, but it was hard because it’s almost overwhelming. There is just so much good comedic material here we didn’t know where to start. So bare with us.

Gene’s letter is in white, our comments are in red.

HELLO EVERYBODY

HI

When we first started KISSNATION years ago (our original website), it was intended as a place where you and we could have direct contact. The idea was for you to have instant access to us without manager, bodyguards and the like.
Unfortunately it wasn’t instant access to your bank account, but oh well. Please continue.

It worked, for a short time. You asked us how we felt about certain things and we tried as best we could to answer. Initially, the spirit of the site was great. But, it quickly became a place where gossip and innuendo replaced fact… and it quickly became a place where “The Few” thought they were the voice of the masses.
How is that possible? You guys ran the site. If you don’t want people bitching don’t have a fucking message board. This is the real world where people don’t kiss your ass 24 hours a day, and sometimes people won’t say what you want to hear. Fucking deal with it. You guys have enough money that you shouldn’t give two shits, a piss, and a fart if somebody rips on your band.

We stopped logging on. The site kept going downhill. “The Few” saw it as a forum where they could vent their feelings about what was wrong with KISS. The site became a chat room. The few times I logged on to read what was being discussed, I was disappointed. I soon lost interest in the site and thereafter it was shut down.
In other words you saw that the truth hurts so you ran like a bitch.

Kiss Otaku, the site Mike Brandvold started and ran, seemed a better place.
Probably cause it didn’t say anything you didn’t want to hear.
Something about the “tone” of it seemed to reflect the voice of the masses, rather than the few. When we started talking with (Sony) Signatures about starting our own site, we needed someone to run it. I suggested Mike. I called him at home, we had a meeting of the minds and he literally picked up house and home and left for San Francisco. He has been at the helm of Kissonline.com ever since.
So basically you found another yes man.

The reason for this message is that both you, the fan, and we, the band are caught in a catch 22. Here it is in simple terms:
You want a site that gives you news and all the rest… but more importantly, you want a place where you can have instant access to KISS. Guess what? That’s what we want too. We want a place where you can reach us, voice your opinions good, bad or otherwise and have us respond.
So if you want good and bad opinions, then why did you ditch the original site? Other bands don’t have this problem. You don’t see Motley or Metallica running away from their sites when the fans rip on them. And if you want our opinion like you just asked then stop being greedy, lower the fucking concert prices, pay Peter and Ace what they deserve so we can see the original KISS, do away with selling coffins and enough with the $175.00 books already.

KISS started about thirty years ago as a band. Four guys. Four destinies. All for one and one for all. But, it became immediately obvious that reality was nothing like the dream. I know you are uncomfortable hearing this. Too bad.
Oh yeah, I’m really uncomfortable. Please, Gene, stop! I can’t take anymore of your reality! (Sarcasm mode turned off)
We all have to grow up sometime.
This coming from a 50 year old man who still takes Polaroids of naked chicks and shows them off to anybody who will look.
KISS was equally owned for all of us. Democracy was what we initially set up. The problem was, equal work, equal responsibility for equal pay didn’t seem to apply to everyone.
Okay so Peter & Ace are bit ‘o fuck ups, but don’t pay them what your paying Tommy Thayer for Christ sakes!

We kept saying this over and over in countless interviews about how KISS was like a team — it’s the Olympics. In sports, if one member isn’t cutting it, he’s gone. The same rules apply for everyone on the team. With KISS, you think different rules should apply. We’ve heard you say over and over again, that no matter what the problems are, nothing should change.
Great idea, how about not changing (raising) the prices on your shit everytime we turn around.

We disagree.
Families break apart for much less.
Start your own band and see if you would be any different.

So, by 1980, we had enough of the torture and changes were made within the band.
You got Paul his first wig?
Over the next twenty years, we would make numerous changes. During the years the original line up was not together we carried on nonetheless. We took the point of view that the whole was greater than any of its parts. We knew you would think it wasn’t like the TRUE original line up. But we knew that too. Our only choice was, do we die with the original line up, or do we carry on?
Well if you die, you already got the coffins covered so you got that going for you.

We brought in new members, we dropped our makeup and then put it back on again. And, reunited with our original line up. And, here we are today.
Speaking of new (old) members, did you know Bruce Kulick’s Union is playing at Paladino’s coming up?

But, guess what? The same rules apply. If you snooze, you lose. Everyone has to carry the weight.
Gene, the only weight you’re carrying right now is around the midsection.

KISS is a band that you want to consist of Peter, Ace, Paul and Gene. And, that’s fine with us. That’s what we wanted all along. Remember, we were the ones who initially picked that line up to begin with.
Oh, so you picked the lineup! I thought the lineup was picked by a online vote back in 1972. (Sarcasm mode turned off)
Once again, thanks for pointing out the obvious Gene.

The future? There will be lots of it.
I’m sure all the Kiss fans that spent $100 on Kiss Farewell concert tickets will be happy to hear that.
We’ve always done things our way… some of it you liked and some it you hated. The question has always been, when you say YOU hate it, why do you think it reflects the rest of the fans? Why is it that, when “I Was Made For Lovin’ You” came out and you cried “Sell Out” “KISS goes disco, etc.”, it nonetheless became our biggest single. AROUND THE WORLD. You hated it, but the rest of the KISS fans loved it. Or, are you trying to tell me YOU are a real fan and the rest of the fans aren’t? Me? I was never crazy about the song. But, so what? NO ONE’S OPINION SPEAKS FOR EVERYONE.
Again, thanks for stating the obvious. I thought one opinion spoke for everyone. Thanks for the lesson.

And, therein lies the problem. There are a few of you, perhaps a few hundred, who have the time to log on day in and day out.
Only a few hundred people log onto KissOnline.com a day? That’s funny Gene, considering we get anywhere from 10,000 to 18,000 hits per day.
You voice your opinions and you do it often. And, that’s fine. But, you do not reflect the KISS nation. You are “The Few.”
“The Few” are the fans that actually believe this bullshit.
You don’t like Eric Singer wearing the cat make-up, but KISS fandom have no problem with it, otherwise they wouldn’t have come to the concerts.
What you left out Gene is that the gigs Eric played weren’t in the U.S! They were in Australia and other foreign countries, but NOT in the U.S. Other countries will always go see U.S. acts because they want the entertainment. They wouldn’t have cared if Anthony Focx was playing the drums. But when you say the Kiss fandom had no problem with it, you are only talking about a hand full of dates overseas. Try pulling that shit in the US. It would have been a different story.
You hated us for coming clean about substance abuse by members of the band and called us liars… until you read interviews by the guys admitting they had used for decades. You hate the KISS toys and games. But, the world loves them. They buy them. By the millions.
Enough of the merchandise Gene. You’ve gotten to the point where it’s more about selling shit. Metal Sludge would never do that. You think we’d put a link to our shirts, BUY OUR SLUDGENDISE RIGHT HERE, in the middle of a post? We wouldn’t stoop that low. Even though shirts are pretty cheap and we have new SLUDGENDISE coming out next month, (including but not limited to T-Shirts, long sleeve shirts, hats, panties, etc) we wouldn’t just shameless plug that shit anywhere, you know? Try to have some class.
You think Gene is greedy. You are right. I want as much as I can get before they put me six feet under.
In a Kiss casket, right?
And, if you tell me you are any different, I will call you a liar to your face. Everyone wants to win the lottery and are thrilled if they do. I’m no different. Just because “you” have small dreams is no reason to take it out on anyone else.
Getting a bit touchy are we?

“The Few” are also rude. In particular, when KISS girls decide to send in beautiful fotos of themselves to our site, they are sending it to YOU.
Photos is spelled with a ph, not an f by the way!
You respond by being rude and insulting their beauty. Low class.
Low class? This coming from somebody who sells a casket with his picture on it.
Just because you’re not getting any, is no reason to take it out on the girls. They are all beautiful and we love them all.
 

So, why write this to you in the first place?
Because you’re bummed that the real Kiss fans have been ripping your ass apart for the last few years and you’ve finally snapped. Even people who have worshipped Kiss, like Scott Ian, have even said it’s time for you guys to hang it up.
Because, believe it or not, we still wanna talk to you. We DO care what you have to say. We were never interested in anything but an honest relationship with you. When you say you didn’t like a song, that’s fine. Maybe we agree with you, maybe we don’t. But if you say that songs suck, as if it’s a fact, WHO’S saying that? The entire KISS nation? Are you their spokesperson?
You just said it’s ok to have an opinion, didn’t you? Obviously it’s only ok to have an opinion as long as it’s the same opinion as yours.

It’s time to be responsible. Be as brutal about your opinions as you want to be. But, be clear, IT’S ONLY YOUR OPINION. And, you certainly have a right to it.
Gene, you’re rambling.

It’s time to be polite. If you don’t think someone is particularly beautiful in your eyes, KEEP IT TO YOURSELF. Who asked you in the first place?
Didn’t you just say it’s ok to have an opinion? Make up your mind, Gene. One second you say to be as brutal about your opinions as we want to be, then you say, “Who asked you in the first place?” My opinion is senility isn’t too far away.

It’s time to separate gossip from fact. You know the difference. Don’t foist one off as the other. You’re smarter than that.
Gossip: Metal Sludge makes up all of their interviews.
Fact: Metal Sludge actually does their interviews with real stars who give us their own answers.
Gossip: KISS loves their fans.
Fact: KISS over charges their fans for everything from concert tickets to caskets.

We’d love to have chats with you. Just you and us. But, not until things change.
This means “We won’t talk to you unless you kiss our ass and agree with what we say.”
You wouldn’t go into someone’s home if you heard all kinds of screaming coming from inside… even if you’re invited.
Sure we would! Sounds like something entertaining is going on so we’ll be there.

We hear alot of screaming coming from inside KISSONLINE… but only from “A FEW.”
And we hear that a lot of money is being made at KissOnline… but the profits only go to a “A Jew.”
How can you hear a lot of screaming from “A Few” people? You’re in denial Gene, and it isn’t just a river in Egypt.
If “a few” people are screaming, then was it necessary to write this garbage?
 

Now, let’s see what you have to say about all of this…

The next day Gene posted this.

HELLO EVERYONE.

Hi.

Thanks to all of you for your responses to my letter. I have to honestly say reading your posts was the most exciting and thought provoking moment I have ever had online.
Obviously you’ve never been to Metal Sludge then.
Now, that?s the way KISSONLINE should be. Passionate.

I have to say, although I never thought about some of the issues you raised, I had to often agree with your comments and often with your criticisms.
30 fucking years later and you didn’t think that $100.00 concert tickets, $175.00 books and KISS caskets were out of line? What the fuck?

There is no question that, good, bad or otherwise, you feel strongly about your views. Fair enough. But, here was proof positive, that for the most part, you were able to express yourselves professionally.
Thanks Gene. And speaking of being professional, how about a professional hair system? That George Washington look you have going is fucked. You got cash, so there is no reason to wear a cheap Halloween wig.

I agree with the internet rules about blanking out four letter words in the same way I agree with the notion that no one should be attacked personally. Attack their ideas.
The idea of a George Washington wig should be attacked. Along with selling caskets and a load of other shit.

Eric wearing the Cat makeup: It?s clear some of you didn?t like it at all. In point of fact, please understand that neither did Eric. He, as well as the rest of the band have always felt it belonged on Peter?s face. But, Peter didn?t come on tour. We couldn?t make a deal. That?s life. So, we were in a no win situation. Do we invent a new “character” for Eric Singer? Do we have him wear Eric Carr?s Fox makeup? We decided to have him wear the Cat makeup.
“Because we’re all out of ideas and we were hoping the really stupid fans wouldn’t even notice.”
And, while we acknowledge that some of you didn?t like it, we stand by our decision.
Okay, fuck it. How about if he wears llama make-up instead? Or maybe a Kuala bear? What about a polar bear? Something different. The cat makeup is Peter’s trip, you know? For example, if we have a new writer at Metal Sludge, we won’t have that person have pigtails because that’s Bastard Boy Floyd’s gimmick. And if Eric Singer wants to write a tour diary we’re not going to let him have pigtails in the photo because it just ain’t right!

The original lineup: Again, we all agree. You and us. Peter, Ace, Paul and Gene is the best lineup. But, we had to make changes. We refused to “go down with ship.” No one person would ever determine when the band would hang up its platform heels.
You guys have been saying forever that you guys don’t want to be the old guys at the party. Well guess what….YOU ARE THE OLD GUYS AT THE PARTY! Paul use to say you guys won’t outstay your welcome. Guess what….YOU’VE REALLY OUTSTAYED YOUR FUCKING WELCOME!
You know when you have a party, and you wake up the next morning and everybody is gone except a few guys in the kitchen all by themselves, and you’re like, “What the fuck are you guys still doing here? Everybody’s gone. Go home.” Well that’s Kiss.
Let us put it this way.
The movie is over but you guys are still staring at the screen.
You’re trying to fish in a dried up lake.
You’re looking up to the sky but the fireworks ended 30 minutes ago.
Get the picture? It’s time to go home.
The results? Complaints. We heard you loud and clear. We still do. But we did what we had to do. And, we stand by our decisions. If we had to do it all over again, we would do the same thing.
The best line up would be Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, Eric Singer and Blackie Lawless on bass.

The Kasket: Some of you don?t like it. Fair enough. We think it?s cool. Ok. Now, here?s the best part ? which one of us is right?
Okay, if your going to sell the Casket, what if someone wants the KISS tombstone to go with it? Think about it. The Casket is buried 6 foot under. Nobody sees it! How about a tombstone for all to see? Maybe a combo package price if you buy both.
 

The Music: There is no denying the fact that when all four members of a band are doing their best, the entire band works better? and that means, better music. We?re sure you noticed as the original band started to break apart, so did the music, for the most part.
And when the original band got back together we got….Psycho Circus. Yippee.

You?re right. We agree. We always felt the same way. The early albums and maybe Creatures and Revenge were records we all liked. But, we did the best we could.

New Music: The box set will have songs you haven?t heard before, but they will be unreleased demos. Unheard music. Newly recorded songs will have to wait.
New songs? What the fuck? Gene, it’s over. You’ve had your run. Time to pass the torch, sit on the front porch, and count your money.
The band is in flux. But, we?ve been there before.

KISS will continue. It may not be the way YOU want it to continue. But, if you read all the posts, there doesn?t seem to be ONE VOICE. Like most issues, we all have different opinions? even amongst ourselves.
Yes Gene, like all assholes we all have an opinion. Or like all people we all have an asshole & an opinion. Something like that. Anyway, some of us have bigger assholes than others. Like Kendra Jade for instance. It’s safe to say she has a bigger asshole than Bastard Boy Floyd cause he’s never had 34 dicks in his ass in one day. At least not that we know of. What were we talking about?

And finally, looking forward to our online chat session.

And so are we!

Ozzy Stillbourne, Jani Bon Neil, & Taime “Sex” Slaughter
Sludge It Up!