RANDOM THOUGHTS ON SEBASTIAN BACH’S PISS POOR EXCUSE!

 

Sebitchian Bach was fired from Jesus Christ Superstar the other day, and I’m pretty sure I predicted that this would happen. I’m sure I might have said it on the page somewhere, and if not, I said it to somebody, so fuck off. It was just a matter of time before he got the boot and to be honest, this makes me happy and sad. Happy that he got fired and probably ruined any chance of ever doing theater again, but sad because I’ve said so much shit about him that it’s almost not even fun anymore. It’s just too easy. Nothing ever changes with Sebitchian. He’s like herpes – he just keeps coming back every so often and pissing you off. I could try and be funny about it and say something cute, but fuck that, he’s just an asshole. I can’t even listen to Skid Row anymore because he’s ruined all the songs for me. He just needs his ass kicked.

Look at this rant he put up on his site. He’s totally delusional. He lacks even the dim flicker of sentience needed to qualify as a fuckhead. I’ve added some thoughts here and there but there is so much material here I’m sure I don’t need to point it all out to you guys. Anybody who is a reasonable, rational, productive member of society can see this man needs help.

Here is his reason why he is no longer doing Jesus Christ Superstar.

I would like to extend my heartfelt apologies to those of you who have come to JCS in the last week to find me not in the play . Actually, they should be thanking you for not being in the show. Since October 8 2002 i have done aproximately 160 shows , 8 shows a week , plus rehearsals , & am proud to say that in 6 months I have never missed a single show or rehearsal . Up until last Friday in Columbus Ohio .
Those of you who came to the show 2 weeks ago in Philadelphia can attest to the shows being magical – the Philly crowd was incredible & you guys could not have been a more receptive , exciting , fired up audience in every way . Any time I put my name on something I do it with the intention of entertaining YOU to the utmost of my abilities & when you go nuts at the end of the night it is totally your right to do so . Just so long as somebody writes the words that come out of your mouth because you’re too stupid and talentless to rely on yourself. The next week we were summoned to rehearsals in Columbus where it was explained to me that we needed a brand new ending to the show that would effectively erase any sense of rock’n’roll from the curtain call & leave everyone walking out of the show without the sense of elation & excitement that was part of the show for the last 5 months . So since you couldn’t have your little ego moment anymore you threw a hissy fit like a little girl and ran home. This I felt was an insult to my fans who expect me to deliver the same kind of performance I did in “Jekyll & Hyde : The Musical” & “The Rocky Horror Show” , who never tried to eliminate rock’n’roll from their shows, but actually embraced rock & rock fans & welcomed rock’n’roll to the stage & all the excitement that came along with it . I hate to piss on your candles, but people who went to see Jesus Christ Superstar were doing so because they wanted to see the fucking play, NOT to see Sebastian Bach. Sure, you might have brought in some fans who wouldn’t typically see a show, but the majority of the people in the crowd each night could have given a shit less who was playing Jesus Christ. The play has been around long before Sebastian Bach and will carry on perfectly fine without you. When I tried to cool out in my dressing room cool out in dressing room = smoke pot & hopefully come to some sort of compromise compromise = agree with Sebastian or else that would be acceptable to the management of the show & of course the FANS who paid money to come see the show , I was accosted by a cast member who proceeded to yell & scream at me because I was standing up for the fans who have been with me for almost 20 years now 20 years ago was 1983. The first Skid Row album didn’t come out till 1989. Do the math! & not giving into the whims of people who have absolutely no respect for rock’n’roll fans whatsoever . You mean the same fans you yell at and insult? The same fans who are in wheelchairs that you blow off and walk past? The same fans you treat like shit and get in fights with? When this cast member would not let me walk to my dressing room it was evident that he wanted a physical confrontation & this is exactly the kind of situation I refuse to be a part of . That’s only because you didn’t have a bottle in your hand to throw at his head. The same cast member came out of the Philadelphia shows a week earlier & scribbled all over vintage Bach / Skid Row pictures the fans had kept in mint condition for at least 10 years & insulted me to my own fans who had just paid around $70 to see us on stage together . For me to have to explain this kind of childish bickering to a rock fan who has just had a great time & paid alot of money to do so is unacceptable . Actually, the entire cast was sick of your childish behavior, your horrible acting and unprofessional attitude and they started to snap. After touring with you for months they lost their mind. Who can blame them? Sebitchian, have you ever asked yourself why it is nobody can get along with you? Do you ever stop to think why this drama only happens to you? You don’t hear about other Broadway shows having this drama. But what is more unacceptable is for me to be told to go on a stage & conciously NOT excite a crowd . Sorry . The show wasn’t “Sebastian Bach Superstar” it was “Jesus Christ Superstar.” The show wasn’t about you. When Ted Neely did the show, you didn’t see him jumping around and giving the metal sign and trying to throw his hair around like a jackass. I guarantee if you took a poll at the end of the night, a majority of the people in the crowd didn’t come to see you, they came to see the show. But your fucking ego is so out of control you still haven’t figured out the world doesn’t resolve around you. At least you are not obnoxious like so many other people – you are obnoxious in a different and worse way!
All I wanted to do was take 2 days off from the show & hopefully come to some sort of compromise that would allow me to present a performance that I could be proud of . I had every intention of being on the plane for Tuesdays show in Atlanta. But the producers of the show have elected to let my understudy go on in place of me rather than respect YOU the rock’n’roll fan who has paid money for a ticket . That’s what an understudy is for. When the main actor can’t do it, the understudy takes his place. Did you really expect them to cancel the fucking tour because you took your ball and went home like a pussy? All of this has made me realize that it is time for me to follow my heart & create some brand new original rock & roll that will completely blow you away . All it made you realize is that you just got fired from a huge production, will probably never do another Broadway show again, and now you have nothing to do. I have been working with one of the biggest bands in the world & will now persue that collaboration with full force . You’re working with Metallica? Linkin Park? Aerosmith? The Rolling Stones? Kiss? Oh….are you referring to Slash’s Snakepit Part 2? Yeah, I know when I think of one of the biggest bands in the world I think of Slash’s singerless band. (sarcasm mode turned off) I have been working on my first DVD & this project will now become a top priority . I can now devote my voice to creating a new solo cd where I can use my scream in it’s TRUE venue – ROCK AND ROLL . Until somebody comes along and is stupid enough to offer you another Broadway show, then you’ll “Turn Your Bach” once again. I have been aching to rock from the depths of my soul for a couple of years now but didn’t have anybody around to write your songs & I intend to come out with the most intense music you have heard from me yet . If the producers of JCS decide to come to their senses & honour the commitment they made to the ticket buyer regarding what the show is supposed to be , then I will return to the tour . But if they want to USE my fans & take your money without any consideration of what you are coming to see , then my advice to you is DO NOT LET THEM . Get your money back & do not accept no for an answer. I have a feeling they have nothing to worry about. If you have any question as to whether I am in the show or not , come to this space . I will let you know if there any changes in the situation but right now I am NOT in the show .
In the meantime I am going straight into the studio to explode microphones . Stay tuned to this space for any pertinent developments in the mayhem that is my life . Or you can just come to Metal Sludge and read the same shit.
- Sebastian Bach

Hey Sebitchian, I’ll give you one thing: you’ve got balls – big ones. They may be mine, and bouncing off your chin, but you’ve still got them.

These are a few emails we got on this as well.

Hello to who may read this,
I thought it was extremely funny about Bach being fired and then I thought to myself “Hmmmmmmmmmmm wonder how he explains this on his website, if he has one”. So I found it and read his explanation. He claims that they wanted to completely re-do the curtain call and by doing it this would “effectively erase any sense of rock’n’roll from the curtain call & leave everyone walking out of the show without the sense of elation & excitement that was part of the show for the last 5 months”
Wow. Cause you know the curtain call is really what makes or breaks the show. I’ve been to a couple musicals on Broadway and they were totally killed by the piss pour curtain call at the end. *sarcasm mode turned off* Putting his story and yours together it sounds like they didn’t want him going out at the end and jumping around like a jack-ass and wanted to cover it up. Now I’m no expert in musicals but I have played for several and if the crowd hasn’t reached a point of elation and excitement before the curtain call, it isn’t going to happen at the curtain call.
Can’t wait to see what really went down. Keep up the rocking work.

All Hail the Sludge!

Logan King of the Hill People

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Dear Sludge:

It was all I could do not to laugh when I found out that Sebitchian was fired from the production of “Jesus Christ Superstar”! Between this and getting fired from Skid Row, it’s just proof positive of how difficult this prima donna is to work with. How many more bridges can this asshole burn and how many more people can he piss off before there’s nothing left? It’s bad enough sales of his solo album sank lower than Billy Milano’s beer gut, and getting fired from “Jesus Christ Superstar” is the icing in the cake as far as I’m concerned. If he has a shred of maturity left, the wise thing to do would be to post a message on his site whole-heartedly apologizing for his asonine behavior, but we have a better chance of seeing Vince Neil performing an entire show sober and not cussing out his fans!

I’m out like Sebitchian’s entertainment career!!!

Rock

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Greetings keepers of the Sludge,

An additional tidbit for you on the former Jesus Christ, Sebastian Bach. His dismissal from the production of Jesus Christ Superstar comes just a day or two after the most scathing of reviews in the Columbus Dispatch. The reviewer described Bach’s acting style as “merely standing and flipping his hair around.” The reviewer also found Bach to be a “screamer, not a singer” (No shit!) and singled out Bach as the lowpoint of an otherwise strong cast and production.

I have friends who had tickets for last weekends shows. Instead of Bach, they saw some African American guy with dreadlocks as Jesus. The choice was Bach or a black Jesus and the black man won. Finally something passing for racial equality in this country! Jesus it appears has stopped rolling in his grave, grateful that Sebastian Bach will no longer be screeching in his name.

Anxiously awaiting Paul Stanley in West Side Story,

E-Rock
Somewhere outside Columbus

Maybe Johnny Solinger can take Sebitchian’s place in Jesus Christ Superstar!

I’m out like Sebitchian in Jesus Christ Superstar,

OZZY STILLBOURNE