For July 22, 2001

Welcome to my latest Ho-Bag! This is the latest from my mailbag.

Hi Donna,

D.

I usually don’t kiss and tell or discuss who I’ve met. But I will say that one of the worst I’ve met was Stephen Pearcy. He’s a drunk, obnoxious dick with no redeeming qualities. Sebitchian is also an ass but that’s no surprise. Marq Torien is also in my top 3, but I can’t forget to mention that Rikki Rockett was also a total cock and an asshole.

Just kidding Rikki! Just seeing if you’re paying attention.

It’s difficult for me to come up with 3 of the best guys because when you look like me, everybody is nice to you! Now don’t I sound like a bitch?
The top 3 that come to mind actually include Rikki Rockett, Butch Walker and Richie Sambora.

Donna,
I just found your web site “the long & the short of it” and I have to say it is the best thing ive seen…..EVER.
As a rock chic here in Australia I can only dream what these guys are like in bed!!!!!!!!!!!! And while it kind of dampened some fantasies it fuelled a whole lot more………long gone are my groupie days so all I can say is im sooooooo jealous!(although I did get my fair share of local talent-not to many o.s metal bands ventured this far down…)
Ok ide better go, getting too sentimental……….take care c-ya

This site is funny as hell! Now I can sleep tonight knowing Riki Rachtman’s dick size!!! Anyway, keep up the good work!

P.S. That “Do you have a website?” remark was probably sent in by Bold magazine looking for pics of your fine ass!!!! LOL

Speaking of Bold here’s an email on them.

Hi Donna,
Your site, as always, rocks! I was amused to see in the latest ho-bag that you had been receiving emails from Bold magazine – several months ago, a friend of mine used to be associated with it and I would pitch metal sludge to this friend as a “bold” kind of site. Little did I know they were already pursuing you for photo layouts (does *everyone* not get whose photos are in the banners?). Anyway word on the street is that bold is a sinking
ship.

“Keep up the good work”

Melissa Auf van Rockett in l.a.
Writer (do you need any?) and Loyal Reader since 10/98 (I sent in an early review of the Warrant/Slaughter show, I’m ashamed to admit)

Since Metal Sludge begun back in September of 98 I’ve noticed a few magazines that have a very “Sludge” type style of writing. Be it websites or magazines. And most of them eventually fall by the way side. I guess it’s flattering to see people try to do things that we did years ago so I don’t really care. Everybody knows that there is only one Metal Sludge and it you want Sludge, this is the place to visit. Thanks for the letter.

What is the average penis size? How would you rate 5 inches

Average is about 6 inches or so. So I would say you are slightly below average.

I am just an average woman. Nothing sexy on the outside-big but not fat, huge breasts. I don’t believe I’m ugly, actually alot of friends say I’m “cute” meaning I’m 27 and look like I’m 18. I still get carded for smokes!
Anyway, I want to meet and take David Draiman. Any hints on how I could get this done next time he is in my area?
I have never been backstage in my life, not much of a groupie.

Thanks

When I started hanging out with bands nobody told me how to do it. Live and learn and figure it out on your own.
Plus I’ve covered these types of questions before. Read some old Ho-Bags.

Hi Donna!
Came across your page and let me tell you, it’s the best thing I’ve read on the web since I got this damn computer! Kepp it up ( no pun intended ). I was just wondering, I’ve been to more than my share of backstage soires and could never tell if the hotties in the bands are into, ahem, crossing over to the dark side”. I’m a 22 year old smokin’ black chick who love to rock like I love to breathe, but I don’t seem to get nearly as much attention as my vanilla counterparts do. Now, don’t get me wrong, to each his own, I know. But what’s a hot black chick gotta do to get some good hard rock lovin’? All the boys I know in the local (Chicago) bands love me. Different and exotic I guess, but the boys in Metallica didn’t give me second look. Although, Kid Rock did ask me to fill in for one of his dancers for his second show in town, the big sweetie. Blink 182 has no prob with me and the Foo Fighters and I partied all night, but I can’t help but notice the lack of play I am getting. Any thoughts on the subject? Am I paranoid? I mean 38-33-41’s gotta mean something in this biz, right? I’d appreciate your feedback. Also, any good get backstage methods I don’t already know about? It would be much appreciated.

Besos,
Jill

You just said you hung out with Blink 182, the Foo Fighters, and Kid Rock, so it doesn’t sound like you are hurting for any attention. Don’t worry about what other chicks are doing because the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. You might be getting more play than them but just don’t realize it! The best thing I can tell you is to be yourself. Have a good time and don’t worry about it. There are probably chicks wishing they got to hang out with Blink, Foo Fighters and Kid Rock, so don’t sweat it.

For those of you wondering about the Nelson brothers, here’s a report.

Hi Donna:
In response to the “Gunnar & Matthew Nelson” comment. I have some info. Matthew is married to Yvette 6 years now. Guess Bobbi Brown peeing on his bed didn’t work for him..lol Gunnar has been dating a girl from somwhere on the east coast named Heidi for about a year now I think she was in Playboy. She supposedly looks just like Yvette & from what I hear the four have get 2-gethers if ya know what I mean. If you want to laugh go to www.thenelsonbrothers.com they came out with a country album. How lame can these guys get. Since their “hair” days they have had anything from nose jobs to hair transplants to liposuction done. Thought this info would help inquiring minds.
Keep up that awesome work Donna!
Ap…

Thanks for the update!

Hello there Donna. I enjoy your site. I have a foot and tickling fetish, and I NEED to know if you are ticklish or not… and if so, where?
Also, describe your feet. Shoe size? Types of shoes? Skin texture? Skin tone/color? Toenail polish color? Smell? And sensitivity/ticklishness?

Thank you! Rock on girl baby! :o)

You need to call a sex line freak. That’s what they’re there for.

Must be in a really giving mood today as I just feel like apologizing on behalf of all the dumb-asses that keep sending you “sit on my face” emails…I’m amazed at the morons.

Wendielu

Thanks Wendielu, but I think I have another one of those emails right here.

Nice web site,do you have a site of you posing nude? how can we meet you or hook up with you? are you ever in the Tampa Fl area?

bye Jim

How can “we” meet you? Do you have a mouse in your pocket?

If you want to see nude photos of me, you can visit the website www.GoFuckYourselfYouStupidPrick.com.

Hi Donna,

I was just curioous-I’ve been reading a lot of things about Axl Rose on Metal Sludge and all I’ve heard is that he likes to GIVE oral sex, do you know if he likes getting it at all? How about Tom Keifer? I know it’s a stupid question but I had to ask since this is probably the only metal website where
I can ask it.

Thanks,
Caity

Nope, I’m sure Axl and Tom hate to receive oral sex.

Have you ever heard a guy in a band say, “Please don’t suck my dick.” What type of stupid fucking question is this? What guy doesn’t like oral sex?

Hi,

Thanls Armand

I work for Metal Sludge and I reside in a tour bus bunk near you.

Thanks for nothing.

hey donna i was just wondering where has bobbie brown been and what has she been up to. she does not have her own web site and there is only like two sites on her one is motley crew and the other is iconophile. is there anyway you could let me know what is up with her and if she has a web site. thanks donna i appreciate it.

coleen

Bobbie just emailed us about a month back and we asked her to do a Rewind but never heard from her again. Bobbie was on “Battledome” but is no longer on that show. Other than that I haven’t heard anything. There have been some Bobbie posts on the Ho-Board so you might want to check out those.

Dear Donna:

Every time I read for any updated news on your site, I laugh hysterically.
Dirty onion ring? Jap eye?
Quite frankly, I wouldn’t fuck these guys with a stick (well maybe a few), But to each their own. I look forward to your verbiage from here on….

Thank you as you have bought me much happiness…

Hey Donna,

-Bobbi Klitaen

Stylist? Who knew Union Underground could afford a “stylist.”

Hey Donna

Great page! I laughed like crazy,,,,It is cool to hear the real skinny on some of these rock and roll boys… I have the major hots for Paul Stanley of Kiss…. What do you know or have you heard about him… I heard rumors that he goes both ways…
He has been married for 8 years and recently became seperated… do you know if he has a girlfriend? Need the dope on the Pope of Rock and Roll… Please and Thank you!
Sincerely

Lori Reynolds

I heard he likes boys, but who hasn’t heard that? I haven’t heard anything about him lately.

This is an email on Kristy Krash Majors from Pretty Boy Floyd.

HI DONNA, I JUST GOT TURNED ON TO METALSLUDGE BY A FRIEND WHO ASKED ME TO READ THE APRIL 11,2001 HO BAG ABOUT KRISTY KRASH. I JUST WANT TO RESPOND TO THIS GIRL JENNIFER..

FOR HIM TO TELL YOU ABOUT HIS REAL MOM WAS HIS WAY OF OPENING UP TO YOU. I THINK HE RESENTS HIS MOM BECAUSE
A. SHE SCREWED UP HIS FATHER WHO WAS PROBABLY THE MOST AMAZING AND LOVING FATHER I’VE EVER SEEN AND
B. HE INHERRITED HER PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEMS.
AND THAT STORY ABOUT KRIS SLEEPING WITH BOBBY BROWN WHILE SHE WAS STILL MARRIED TO JANIE LANE? IF THAT STORY IS TRUE, I THINK THAT WAS REVENGE ON JANIE AND I APPLAUD KRIS FOR IT. YOU SEE JUST A FEW DAYS AFTER KRIS
GOT MARRIED, JANIE LANE IGNORED THAT FACT AND SLEPT WITH KRIS’S WIFE ANYWAY.
OK SHE WASN’T SO INNOCENT BUT IT DID HAPPEN AND IT HAPPENED TO KRIS. IN CONCLUSSION MAY I ADD THAT YES THERE IS A CHANCE KRIS HAS CHANGED INTO THIS KIND OF PERSON YOU SAY BUT ONLY ON THE OUTSIDE. BECOME HIS FRIEND FIRST, BE A REAL PERSON WITH A HEART AND THEN YOU’LL SEE THE GOOD QUALITIES KRIS HAS BURRIED DEEP DOWN INSIDE.

THANKS FOR LISTENING….

KRIS’S X

Hi I just read your report on rock&rollers&sex. interesting reading.

I hope you can respond it wold help out more than you can realize. thank you very much

I’ve never noticed any STDs on guys and if I did I sure as hell wouldn’t be with them!

I’ll end this Ho-Bag with an email on an old school Ho-Bag favorite, Stefan Adika.

Donna…
I’ve been visiting metal-sludge for over a year now, but I’ve never done more than scratch the surface. Yesterday, I was just looking around a bit more on the site when I stumbled upon the penis chart. I never thought Stefan Adika would be the first one on the list. Of course after reading what it said, I immediately went to the Ho-bag volume 1 to investigate further. I know it’s been a while since all of that happened, but I do have a little story of my own involving Stefan…

First of all, I met H Cherryhomes in either late ’94 or very early ’95 on a Gilby Clarke tour. I initially went to see Ryan Roxie, whom I hadn’t seen in years since the Electric Angels days. While the band was on stage, I noticed a cute roadie on the side of the stage. Afterwards, I went to talk to him. He told me his name was Kenneth Cherryhomes and that he was going to have a song on the “Roommates” soundtrack. We talked for a while, then made out for a long while (and he was a very nice kisser, I still remember that). And then I never saw him again. The only reason I am bringing this up is because I know he wouldn’t have allowed Stefan to be with any girl if he was the tour manager on a later tour , as he stated in his ho-bag letter. I know this because the night I was with him, some chick had grabbed Gilby’s balls when he was on stage and Kenneth told me he had been appalled (the exact word he used) at the action. He said that no girl shoud do that to any man with a wedding band on his finger. Rock-star or not.

Okay, moving on…

The next time I went to see Gilby was in November of ’96. Well, I was really going for Ryan, so imagine my disappointment when I found out he wasn’t on the tour! Filling in for him, I found out, was his best friend Stefan. After the show, my friend and I went to some diner with Stefan and some ofhis entourage. Now, before I say anything else, I’m going to say that Stefan really is a nice guy. Honestly, he is. So we were at this diner, and Stefan was wearing this outrageously strange coat. My friend and I both spoke the same thought at the same time “You remind me of Chip Z’nuff.” Stefan got pissed. He pouted like a baby, said he was never going to wear the coat again, and was never going to talk to us again. I didn’t think a resemblance to Chip was a bad thing at all, but apparently he took offense. Needless to say, he did talk to us again, about 12 minutes later.

There was another show the next night, and it was decided that I would give Stefan a haircut before the show. (Don’t worry, the penis part is coming!). By some miracle, he had remembered to put me on the list. I went in, found him, and he took me to the backstage area upstairs and I cut his hair in this huge bathroom. (Two years later, I was back in the same bathroom getting down and dirty with Chris Barron, the singer of the Spin Doctors. I don’t know if he fits in the category of the penis chart men, but his was quite lovely… just about perfect, I’d say. He was a fabulous kisser, and he was very sweet. I was “his girl” all night long. He even walked me to my car.) Anyway, while I was doing Stefan’s hair, we had a nice talk. I remember he told me something really sad… I can’t recall exactly what it was now, but it was quite sad. He talked about his wife and even showed me a picture of his baby daughter.

When the show was over, I was hanging with the opening band, Beat Angels. Everyone was getting ready to leave, so one of the Angels said he’d walk me to my car. Well, who should we meet up with on the way, but Stefan. He asked me if I could give him a ride to the hotel because he didn’t feel like waiting for the bus. Okay, fine. Stefan and I got into my car. We were driving along when he said “Did you ever sleep with Ryan?” I said, “Uh… noooooo…” And he said “How come?” “I don’t know… because I was fat back then?” To which he replied, “Would you sleep with him now?” I said absolutely not because he’s married. So then Stefan went on this tirade about how all rock-stars cheat on their wives/girlfriends. I said not necessarily, I was sure that there were some who were faithful. But he kept insisting that every single rock-star has cheated and will cheat. Finally I gave up arguing with him and said
“Whatever.”

We arrived at the hotel, and I went to swing up to the front door to drop him off. But before I could do so, he motioned to a space in the lot and said “You can just pull in over there.” I did so, thinking for a moment it was odd, but then with rock-stars, one just never knows. We sat there for a minute or two, then when we were hugging good-bye, he started kissing me! I was like “WOAH!! Hang on a second!!” And I pushed him away. I was so not in to him in that way. And besides, he had a wife. I sat silently, face front for a few seconds, and when I turned back to him, I couldn’t help but glance down and notice that he had his HUGE penis out in full view. Oh, yes, he tells no lie. It was HUGE. I told him to “put that thing away,” but he wouldn’t. He said “Please just touch it.” I said “No way.” So then he tried to kiss me again and as he was doing so, he said “Then kiss me while I touch it.” AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I pushed him off of me a second time, and sat as far away from him as I could, with my arms folded. There was nothing I could do but sit there while he took care of himself and proceeded to squirt all over my car and even on my jacket sleeve. I screamed at him to clean it up. He said “I came a lot, didn’t I? I’m sorry.” By that time, the bus had arrived, so he said he’d go to the bus and get a towel to clean it up. He did just that, and left the dirty towel on the floor of the car. The next day, this girl I worked with
at the salon I was working in at the time, donned a pair of color gloves and removed the dirty evidence and placed it in the dumpster.

So there it is… my experience with Stefan Adika (who’s last name I had no knowledge of until seeing it on the penis chart yesterday). He told me never to tell anyone, but I figure it was so long ago, he won’t remember who I was if I ever do see him again. And besides, I’m backing him up in his statement about his size. To this day, when I tell the story, I still say (because it’s the truth) it’s the biggest penis I’ve ever seen. Not only long, but thick too.

xxox,
Hotlips 2001

Stefan Adika has a big dick? I find that hard to swallow.

Lustfully Yours,

Donna Anderson