20 Questions with Heidi Mark, 2/11/03

  

20 QUESTIONS WITH…

Actress & Vince Neil’s Ex-Wife Heidi Mark

 

As our special Valentine gift to our Sludgeaholics, we are giving you a Super Balls worthy 20 Questions with Heidi Mark!

 

METAL SLUDGE SUPER BALLS AWARD!

That’s right, Heidi gets a Super Balls Award for these 20 Questions right off the bat. She didn’t pull any punches and told it like it was. Jim Bob Dwarf called up Heidi on Monday, February 3RD, and talked to her for over an hour where she answered everything we threw at her and had a really good time. We even included a few MP3s for your listening enjoyment.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with Heidi, she was a Playboy Playmate for July 1995, and then went on to star in a variety of TV shows including Hulk Hogan’s “Thunder In Paradise,” “Beverly Hills 90210,” “The New Love Boat” and other cool shit like that. She was also in the movie “Rock Star” but please don’t hold that against her.

So enjoy our this Valentine’s edition of these 20 Questions with Heidi! Enjoy!

1. What are you currently up to? This is your only chance to promote your current projects and websites.

What I’m doin’ right now? Uh, I’m back in Los Angeles. I’m going to do 3 more movies with a company that I just did an independent with that just went to Sundance called “Man Of The Year.” I’m going to do 3 more with them this year. We film ‘em on digital and we film ‘em quick and they are really bizarre and fun and innovative and different. They’re cool. And the website is something that people have been asking me to do for a long, long, long, time but it was always big companies and so….I had decided that if and when I decided to do one, I wanted to do it. And so it’s me, and two people that have been long time friends that do websites, that run it. And it’s a fan based site that’s, you know, it’s not…..

Jim Bob: It’s not corporate.

All it is, you know what,(laughs) it sounds a little, like, conceited but basically, you know what, if you are a fan of what I do and what I’ve done and you want to see what’s going on, there’s a place to check it out because obviously I can’t give everyone my phone number.(laughs)

Jim Bob: Understandable. Do you have an address for that site yet?

It’swww.heidimarkland.com.

Jim Bob: That’s easy enough.

Yeah, well someone of course has Heidi Mark, you know, being held for ransom for like $20,000 in Taiwan.

Jim Bob: Pirates!

Yeah, you know, so it’s like fuck you. I’ll just get…you know what, Heidi Mark Land, I like it. It’s like Disney Land!

Jim Bob: Exactly!

So it’s like my ride. My little thing. I get to do whatever I want on my site. There is no one to answer to and that’s actually kind of the synopsis of my life in general.

2. Give us 3 highlights and 3 lowlights of being a Playboy Playmate.

Well, one, it was a while ago. Let’s see. Uh….highlights…(pause) well the highlights were it definitely got me my agents and managers and did open doors in LA. I mean, it didn’t get me any jobs, it got me people, you know, that got me auditions to get me jobs. That’s definitely the highlight there. The lowlight is it got me fired off “The Young And The Restless.” (laughs) Yeah, they got a little pissed off when my centerfold came out.

Jim Bob: That’s uncool.

I know, totally. And actually a little illegal, so fuck them.

3. Your ex-husband Vince Neil has always had girls in every city. Didn?t these stories filter back to you and did you really think Vince was being faithful while he was out on the road for all those years?

Vince is a pathological and incredibly wonderful liar. So, occasionally a story would filter back. But it was always, he was sorry, he was drunk, he promised he would go to rehab, hence the 5 rehab stints during our 8 years together. Umm, and uh, you know, yeah, there were times that he got busted and you know…I didn’t look the other way at all. There were a lot of fights about it but I would say 90% of the time, I mean, he would call, which now I realize it doesn’t take a lot of effort to walk down the hall if you have a chick in your bed. (laughs) But he would call when he got up, he would call when he was eating breakfast, he would call when he got on the bus, he could call when he got to the venue, he would call before he went on stage, he would call when he got off stage, he would call when he got back on the bus, he would call when he was getting ready to go to sleep, he would call when he would get to the hotel. I mean, so whenever he was with a girl,(laughs) it must have been like, “we’re ya goin’ now?”(laughs) “We’re ya goin’ now?” So, you know, yeah, of course he got busted a couple of times. But, you know, I wasn’t an angel either.

Jim Bob: It’s all fair then.

Well I was just smarter than he was.

4. What hard rock/heavy metal band should give it up and call it a day?

Uh, I think when you…call anything that’s put in a box like that, heavy metal, probably should hang it up. Anybody, if there is a great band that’s coming out with new music like Aerosmith does and bands like that, that have longevity, I mean, somebody would have called them a heavy metal band a long time ago. They had the hair, they had the clothes. They’re just a great band. You know? Heavy…..who’s even out? Who should hang it up? I don’t know. I really don’t know. I know that there was a tour that had like, uh, Warrant, Slaughter, Vince, but not Motley, Vince, and something else, but it was so funny like none of ‘em were the bands. It was like pieces of bands. (laughs) It was like Ratt, but only one person from Ratt. It’s like you know what, if you don’t have your band, then you should hang it up. Aside from someone like the guy from Slaughter who unfortunately passed away. Then obviously you can’t hang it up. But I mean when everyone is like wild puppies going their separate ways, hang it up. Don’t just keep replacing people. (chuckles)Just hang it up.

5. Rate following the Motley chicks on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 being a dirty whore and 10 being total class and beauty.

I’m going to get a piece of paper cause I’ll never remember. Lets see, go ahead, what’s the first one? Just give me all 10 and then I’ll figure it out.(Jim Bob reads off the list of names and then Heidi goes back down the list.)

Samantha Maloney = Is the biggest whore, first. Dirty, dirty whore. She fucked my friend’s husband. Fuck her.

God but a lot of these I don’t think are dirty whores.

Heather Locklear = I think she’s the consummate cool chick, lets give her a 10. We’ll grade ‘em like the Olympics, she gets a 10.

Pamela Anderson = Pam acted like a fool, at times, we’ll give her a 7.

Sharise Neil = Sharise has my complete obvious empathy and respect. 10!

Bobbie Brown = I think she’s an idiot. 6.

Carmen Electra = don’t know her. From what I see, she’s cool. 8.

Brandy Brandt = don’t know her. Lets give her a 7.

Donna D?Errico = cool chick. Always been nice to me. Give her a 10.

Emi Canyon = she fucked Mick over pretty hard. Lets give her a 6.

Janine = now here’s an interesting one. Vince certainly didn’t sell the tape, I know that. So…I don’t think she’s a dirty whore for fucking him, but if she sold the tape, can we make an addendum? If she didn’t sell the tape, I’ll give her an 8. If she sold the tape, I give her a 1. So she has two scores. Cause I think she’s totally hot, so if she didn’t sell the tape she’s an 8. If she sold the tape, she’s a dirty fucking whore. And Samantha is a dirty fucking whore, she’s a 1.

6. Do you think most ?rock star? wives or girlfriends actually realize that their guys are banging other chicks, or do they just live in denial? Why do chicks put up with it?

Uh, I think most of ‘em…..uh (pause) suspect it. You have to remember, they have a team of liars. A team. There’s road managers, there’s everybody…..everybody lies for them. So you can go, “why weren’t you in the room?” and you could have Nikki Sixx calling me and going, “well he was with me.” So it’s a little tough. I think that they all suspect it. I think they all know it HAS happened, but none of them want to believe it is currently happening. But it does. (laughs)

7. There were reports that Vince was abusive to you. How abusive would Vince get and when did that start happening?

Uh, Vince has a huge drinking problem, everyone knows it. And uh, it started pretty early on, but it was always when he was really, really drunk. And, uh, (slight pause)he was horribly abusive. Uh, but yet again, it was always, “I was drunk, I’m sorry, I’ll go to rehab, I’ll go to AA, I’ll go to counseling.” I mean we went through more marriage counselors than, you know….girls change their underwear in a week. I mean, or you know, a hooker changes condoms. My god, we went to every…..every time Vince messed up, he’d be like“I’ll go to a counselor, I’ll go to rehab, I’ll do anything.” So, you know, and it wasn’t all the time. There would be a lot of times that he would be cool. Usually when he was out of town because it’s truly hard to beat the shit out of someone when they’re in a different state! But when he was in town and drinking, yeah, there was always abuse. It sucked.

Click here to listen to an MP3 of that answer!

8. What advice would you give a girl who was planning on dating a rock star?

Get a rich one instead of a poor one. (laughs) And at least get one who, like I said to Vince, “If you’re going to be a whore, be a whore. If you’re going to be a drunk, be a drunk. Just be an honest drunk whore.” So I would say at least know what you are getting into. If they honestly say, “you know what, I love you babe, but while I’m out on the road I’m going to fuck other chicks and I’m going to get drunk but I want to come home to you” and you’re cool with that, by all means go for it. Just get an honest one.

Jim Bob: Is there such a thing?

An honest one is either going to tell you that they’re fucking around or they’re not going to be fucking around and telling the truth. I mean I know girls, I know women I should say, who’s husbands are in the business and they know their husbands say they fuck around when they are on the road. And they’re ok with that. Just don’t bring it to their house, to their home or around their kids. So if that works for them…I’m just too much, you know, of a control freak to accept something like that.

Jim Bob: Well that’s good.

And I do not share!! So, I got really bad report cards when I was little. I do not play well with others, I do not share, so that really included my husband which did not go over well with his lifestyle.

9. To you knowledge, how many Playmates are escorts or have worked for the Prince Of Brunei.

Ah, let me think….ummm (pause) I know for sure four. As a matter of fact, four. Umm, I have my suspicions I would say of about, I would say four more. I know four for sure. Four I’ve heard rumors. And no, I won’t say who they are. It’s none of my business. Hey, believe me, if someone, I’m the most nonjudgmental person, I could never do it, and go bang a bunch of, you know, short, bald dudes, you know (laughs) I couldn’t do it, but you know what, I guess if you’re cool with it, by all means bring me back a present from the palace and let me know how it was.

10. Rate following guys on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 being a scrub and 10 being a total hunk.

Let me get my pen. Ok, let’s go. (Jim Bob reads off the names again while Heidi writes them down and goes back over the list.)

The disclaimer is going to be though, this isn’t….this is on their appearance?

Jim Bob: I believe so.

A scrub is a total scumbag. It’s not even someone who’s not hot. We’ll just do it the same, our own Olympic judging.

David Lee Roth = 1

Nikki Sixx = 8

Sebastian Bach = 5

Gene Simmons = 9. He’s cool, he’s cool as shit. I like a man. I like that he’s a man. He’s big, he’s tall, he doesn’t fuck around. I don’t mean that he doesn’t fuck around, I mean, you know what I mean. He enters a room, the whole room stops. It’s cool.

Fred Durst = mmmm, lets see, who do I want to give the best one to?(pause) Fred 10.

Kid Rock = 10

Bret Michaels = 5

Robbie Crane = 5

Mark McGrath = 5

Mick Mars = (laughs) I love Mick, but he’s not hot. I’ll give him a 8 just because I like him. I’ve sat in the back of a plane with him, we had like a little Lear Jet goin’ somewhere, I’ve never laughed so hard in my entire life. I love Mick.

Tommy Lee = Tommy’s hot but he acts like such an idiot sometimes. 7.

11. What is the most unpleasant sexual experience you can recall?

Umm, with who?

Jim Bob: I don’t know. With anybody.

Anyone? When someone tries to put it in the wrong hole!

Jim Bob: That’s one time in particular or…

Well just in general. I have a motto, “shit goes out, it doesn’t go in.” I’d have it tattooed there but I don’t run across the problem often. You know what, God bless people that are able to do it, cause people say that it’s great, but it’s just too much work. You’re like supposed to do some stuff to clean it out, and then you got to relax, I mean, it’s like a job.

Jim Bob: It’s a lot of effort.

Screw that, yeah. I would say that or lets see, umm, (pause) David Lee Roth putting his arm around me trying to give me a smooch and asking me if I had a line of coke for him. Ugh!!! Is that sexual?

Jim Bob: Probably.

It’s a little slanderous but it’s true.

Jim Bob: Sounds like a bad movie.

Oh my god, I wanted to jump over the fucking table. I’ve never wanted to get out of a place so fast in my entire life. And he was like doing that, you know when people are on coke where they grind their jaw? He kept like licking his lips, I was like, “oh my god, what are you doing?”

Jim Bob: Tweakin!

And Vince had just gone to the bathroom. I was like, “Dude, your friend’s out of control.” And I was like, you know, David Lee Roth, I thought he’d be cool. He was such a fucking gross pig, man. Ugh.Click here to listen to an MP3 of that answer!

Jim Bob: Wow, scary.And that gross breath when people have been doing coke and the snot is sliding down the back of their throat.

Jim Bob: Yuck.

Foul. I know. Nasty.

Jim Bob: Maybe you’ve already answered this next question then:

12. What rock star deserves a smack in the mouth and why?

I wouldn’t even say David’s a rock star, would you?

Jim Bob: Well, not anymore.

Ok, let see, rock star now? You know what, all those bitchy….the ones who complain about their fame, you know what, go to the fuckin’ karaoke bar. That’s insane if you don’t want your fame. Like the Backstreet Boys are so downtrodden. Every interview, and I do not own a Backstreet Boys CD, but it seems like every friggin’ thing you read about ‘em, is it’s just “so hard. Life’s so hard.” You know? Where it’s like, in comparison wise, those little N’Sync kids, they’re like happy! Having a great time…

Jim Bob: Taking rocket rides, or wanting to.

But you know what, I mean it’s like they’re having a great time with their fame. I mean, honestly, I’m sorry, nobody becomes a rock star, I don’t care what they say, for the love of the music. Nobody! Now they might love music, but if you do not want to be a rock star, you teach school. You teach music. It’s like, you know there are actors who are incredibly talented who just do theater. They have no interest in being famous. So anybody who complains about fame, fuck them! Smack ‘em.

13. Which do you prefer and why:

Mac makeup or Revlon = Now I can’t….I, I….first of all we have to put in here, if a man wrote these questions his sexuality should be SERIOUSLY questioned! So I will answer them but, ok, uh, lets see, Mac or Revlon. And I want to know who wrote this.

(Note To Heidi: Our own Donna Anderson came up with that. That’s why we keep her around. We asked her for chick type comparisons and that’s what we got.)

Uh, lets see….actually, I like Revlon. And you can get it at Rite Aid without having to go to that snooty store. (laughs)

Jim Bob: (laughs) I don’t buy makeup very often, so…

And I don’t buy makeup very often, so thankfully they are usually given to me when I do jobs, so I don’t really have to shop for it.

Jim Bob: That’s how it should be. Free makeup for everyone!

Yeah, if I was President it would be free makeup for all! Well, yeah, all. Hey, if a boy wants to put on….Vince, believe me, I’d be like “God dammit where’s my black eyeliner? Vince!” (laughs) And I swear to God I had this one by BeneFit called Bad Gal and he stole the shit constantly. I mean, it’s really bad when you have to go scouring the house and look in your husband’s bathroom to get your concealer and your eyeliner back. I’m like, “if you’re going to borrow it, put it back. I wouldn’t take your razor.” (laughs) Give me back my makeup.

Poison or Warrant = Holy Jesus! Woah, lets see. You know what, I would d have to say Poison just ’cause C.C. DeVille is just a fucking riot to even talk to. He wins the contest just for his personality. He takes the crown for Poison. Whenever I’ve met him I thought the guy was a complete, out of control, hysterical riot. I was like, this is someone who would be a blast to go out…not out like boyfriend/girlfriend, but on the town with. I’m like, “let me just go out on a night on the town with C.C.” cause he is like Gene Simmons in a way. A very different way. When he walks into a room, everyone knows he’s there. (laughs)

Jim Bob: You can’t miss him.

Well he’s just so, he’s like, A.D.D. He’s like all over the place. But he’s always very nice. So I like him. I think he’s funny. And Mick, he’s the same way. Mick is so quiet and whatever. Dude, you get one on one with Mick, Mick Mars is one of the funniest men I’ve ever met. He has me rolling. Vince was actually turning around in the plane and going, “What the fuck are you two doing back there?” (laughs) I’m like, “Mick’s telling jokes.”

Prada or Fendi = Uh, neither, Gucci.

Aerosmith or Kiss = awwwwww Kiss.

Jim Bob: Any reason to validate that?

They haven’t changed their formula at all. They still sell out arenas. Everyone still loves them. They ACTUALLY perform. They actually sing.(laughs) Not a bunch of backup tracks. And not that I’m applying anything on anyone else, but uh,(pause) I like hard, rough men. Aerosmith is a great band but you’re asking me as a chick, I like boys that look like they need a bath but don’t actually need one. So Aerosmith is a great band but Kiss is like men. They’re cool.

Rolex or Breitling = Umm, fuck, depends who’s buying. (pause) Really neither. I’ll go with Breitling.

Jaime Hunting or Robbie Crane = I have no idea who the fuck Jaime Hunting is.

Jim Bob: He’s in Vince’s solo band.

Jaime? Cause I know there is a James. I don’t know. Who do I prefer? Neither. (laughs) I don’t have an opinion on either. If you said who was better looking, I don’t know who Jaime is. So, I don’t want either around.

Victoria?s Secret or Frederick?s Of Hollywood = Oh dude, Frederick’s and Trashy. I’m not a Victoria’s Secret kind of girl.

Jim Bob: Me neither.

No, no, no, no, no.

Hold on one second, honey.

Jim Bob: Ok. (She gets the other line and Jim Bob has time to realize Heidi called him honey!)

Yeah, Frederick’s and Trashy Lingerie. Which isn’t even a choice but I’m putting it in there. It’s my interview.

Exposed or Carved In Stone = Uh, Carved In Stone actually had some really great songs. Vince wrote a lot of those, and believe me, Vince is an asshole and, you know, I’m still going through my divorce with him, but if I have to be honest, Vince wrote a majority of a lot of the songs on Carved In Stone. Exposed he had a lot of help. He had a lot of help with people like Jack Blades and amazing song writers where Carved In Stone he had to sit his ass down and think. And uh, half the album I love. There are a few I could do without but I really like that album. I actually had to shoot something for Playboy and I put that on just cause I thought it was a really hard and a sexy album. So, but, fuck him, he’s the ex! (laughs)

Oh, are we allowed to cuss on this?

Jim Bob: Yeah. Absolutely!

Oh good. I was gonna say, you’re going to have to had a whole lot of apostrophes!

South Beach or South Park = South Beach or South Park. Umm, South Beach.

The Sky Bar or Joya = Neither. I prefer my girlfriends at my house with a case of Coors Light.

14. Did you have a prenup with Vince and how much of his cash did you walk away with?

No prenup and he left me $100,000 in debt. That’s what I’m trying to fight. And I haven’t gotten a fucking dime from him. Not one. Not one. I didn’t get a car, I didn’t get…..I got my clothes and my dog. That’s all I got out of 8 years. Nothing else. And part of my engagement ring ended up being fake.

Jim Bob: Really? That’s nuts.

Yup. No, he’s class. Total class. (she says sarcastically)Which says a lot about me because I spent fucking 8 years with him.(laughs) No, but you know what? I got a really great dog and(laughs) and you know I worked our entire relationship. I was the only girl that he was ever with that actually did work. So, uh, I mean ever. I mean, he got all of our furniture. All of my furniture that I paid for, before I even met him. I got my car, I mean I got my clothes, and my dog. Nothing else. Not a fork. Nothin’! (chuckles) Oh well, live and learn.

Click here for an MP3 of that answer!

15. Yes or no, has Heidi Mark ever:

Cheated on a boyfriend = yes

Thought Vince had nice abs = no…….wait, there was a picture….I did see a picture of him from like 1980 and he was leaning against a motorcycle where he did have abs. So in that picture they looked great but I never got to see them. And I don’t want to say than meanly, but when I was with him he was never thin. I don’t ever want to…..I’m am not embittered ex-wife. I don’t ever want to bash Vince, but I’m telling you the truth. It is what it is. I wish Vince well, you know. I wish him well enough that he would just pay off the debts he put in my name and leave me alone. That’s all I wish.(laughs) Bye.

Seen Hef having sex = no. no.

Danced at a strip club = danced at a strip club? no.

Had lesbian sex = kissed a girl.

Jim Bob: I don’t think that counts.

So no. I would say no.

Watched the Surreal Life = yes.

Jim Bob: Really?

I watched the first episode and Vince looked frightened out of his mind. He kept blinking and he does that when he’s scared. And he was like, he does this thing were he rocks on both feet and he blinks his eyes a lot, that means he’s really scared. And it was just…..it was just, it was embarrassing. I mean, the way they were like, basically when your career goes to shit this is where ya end up. And I didn’t find any pleasure, you know, in seeing that. I’m still really good friends with his family. I talk to his sister. I mean, I get no joy out of seeing him make a fool out of himself at all. He has other children that he’s a dad to and other people and a family. I think he’s making a fool out of himself.

Jim Bob: I thought the was the only cool one on the show. Out of all the people there. Corey Feldman was a freak!

Oh my God, Corey Feldman I just wanna punch in the face. I swear to God, and for no other reason than to just be annoying. The funniest thing though is, they showed a clip of something, that first….I haven’t seen any since, I just saw the very first one, they showed something coming up and he’s basically telling Vince about girls and about how we are, and I know, if Vince had enough cocktails in him, he just would have gone to town on him. He would have murdered him.(laughs) Cause it’s really…that’s like, he can’t tell Vince about chicks and on the road and being a rock star. You know? I mean the whole thing is just….actually I got to get someone to tell me, because I know they’re going to come to blows at some point. They have to. They have to. But somebody has to call me and let me know or tape it because I’m telling you, there’s going to be a night where Vince is drunk and Corey is going to be talking about, I guess Corey’s a rock star now or something.

Jim Bob: He thinks he is.

Ok. Or he’s a singer or he has a band and he’s going to be telling Vince about, you know, the music or something.(laughs) And he’s going to lose his mind. Now that I wanna see.

Jim Bob: I think all of America wants to see that.

Yeah, it has to come. It really does. I think. The Corey guy is so annoying. I’ve seen Howard Stern, I don’t know, maybe 30 times in my life, he’s been on there 3 times announcing engagements. Corey Feldman. If you really need publicity, go make a sex tape with somebody and put it out there, I don’t know. Don’t keep getting engaged. By the way, the girls should check their fucking rings. I was dumb enough not to.(laughs) They probably weren’t even real.(laughs)

Had sex in the grotto = no. no.

Regretted getting breast implants = hell no.

Had anal sex = no.

Seen Vince stay sober for a month =for one month, yes.

Jim Bob:Really?

Yeah. And the thing was is that it was so hard cause he was so bitchy that you almost want to go, “Just have the fucking drink.” You know what, (laughs) just because he was so, he loves drinking. That is his….I think it goes drinking, money, women. That would be Vince’s priorities. Because he likes it just so much that it just made life hell. It was awful. Even though I wanted to be supportive and I wanted him to get well, but I watched him talk his way out of 5 rehabs and if you read the book, “The Dirt” everyone describes him as the consummate liar. Everyone. I mean, I flipped through that book, and I had said at one point, I go, “If we don’t get a divorce over this book it’ll be amazing.” I go, “Every single person throughout your life for 20 years has described you as an amazing liar.” And of course him, “I, I, I don’t know what they’re talking about.” Well I go, “you’re lying!” (laughs) That’s funny.

Old School Heidi Mark Hooters Cards – 1994

16. Tell us about Vince?s bachelor party at the Spearmint Rhino?

Ok, one, they pretended they didn’t have a bachelor party and they went to Michael Peters’ house and that they got him a 400 pound stripper. That’s what they told me.

Jim Bob: Who’s Michael Peters?

He owns Thee Dollhouse. That’s what they told me. I don’t know anything about the Spearmint Rhino. Which apparently, obviously, he had one. You don’t understand, people lied to me left and right. I’m talking people that…accountants, managers. I’m not talking the usual hanger-on’s. You know, the moochers. I’m talking people that you would expect to at least, you know, not say anything. They told me they had a bachelor party, by the way which he called me from 5 or 6 times. So he must’ve been going outside. And he came home. So, ok. They told me they went to our friend Michael Peters’ house and they got him a 400 pound stripper and that was his bachelor party. And yes, I believed it.

Jim Bob:That sounds like it would have been a fun bachelor party.

Well he was just saying his whole life had been a bachelor party and he was really the one who wanted to get married. We decided to get married in the beginning of April, I mean the beginning of May, we got married May 28th. I planned the wedding while I was filming the movie “Rock Star.” In a matter of 2 weeks. Put it together, no big deal, and he was leaving to go on tour, and he said that we had to get married, that was what’s missing from his life. If he was married, he wouldn’t cheat, he wouldn’t have to drink. He needed the security of having a wife. And I said,(in dumb voice) “Ok.” And I believed him. He said he didn’t even want a bachelor party. And like I said, he called and he came home at a reasonable hour. So maybe he had a bachelor party another night that I didn’t know about, I don’t know.

17. The last of Heidi Mark:

Last time you gave a blowjob = last time I gave a blowjob….unfortunately, November.

Last CD you purchased = uh, Eminem’s new one. Which I love.

Jim Bob: Is that the soundtrack one for his movie?

No, not that one. The last one, that’s actually still in my car in Miami. I didn’t bring my CDs. (laughs)The one that says, “I’m sorry mama.” Which ever one that is. Which I played, and played, and played, and played, and played, and played. I think the entire album is fucking amazing. Dude, his wife should hang on to him. You know what, now that’s a guy I’d let him be an idiot, because he’s bad ass.

Last movie you saw = The Banger Sisters.

Last TV show you appeared in = Ocean Avenue. A European soap I was doing for the last year for Europe.

Last time you posed nude = Um, in public or private?

Jim Bob: It’s up to you.

In public would just be Playboy. And private (pause) umm, I’m willing to let my man get a camera out. I’m not dumb enough to leave ‘em behind, by the way. I take ‘em with me. My ex-husband thought he had a sex video so I taped Oprah(laughs hard)…I just hooked it up and put it on and pushed play so you know when he went to go play it later, all he saw was Oprah talking about her eating habits. (laughs) I didn’t want the tape, and I certainly didn’t want him having the tape. So I take my evidence with me. Or record over it.

Last concert you saw = Uh, Motley. It would be a Motley concert. And I saw the same one, aww, God, in a year, maybe 50 times. (laughs)

Jim Bob: Did you go on tour with them?

Yeah, I would work during the week and try to fly out like every Friday. And they of course worked all weekend. They toured, they did that Maximum Rock tour for almost the last, I don’t know, the last couple years we were together. Put it this way, you start off…it was cool, or course at first, but then after a while you’re like, “Fuck, they’re only on song number 6?” They’ve got fucking 12.(laughs) “Are they gonna do an encore? Fuck, they’re doing an encore!” (laughs) You just wanna go. But it would have to be Motley. But I didn’t go see it. Honestly, it was just sitting on an amp in Vince’s world on the side stage watching him blow his nose in between the set.

Last Playboy Mansion party you were at = Ahh, New Year’s Eve.

Last celebrity that hit on you = (pause) Fuck, where are they? I don’t go out that much. Who….last celebrity, lets turn it around. Last celebrity I wanted to hit on me? I saw The Rock at the Playboy Mansion. And I didn’t have the balls. He’s married, but dude, I would have done anything for him to hit on me. He didn’t.

Jim Bob: Sorry to hear that.

Oh, I know. And I was thinking, I was like, “ok, like do I try to like give him goo-goo eyes? Do I?” I’m like, “no man, he’s married. I wouldn’t want someone doing that.” And he has like a kid. But GOD he looked hot. Now that is man. Holy Jesus, that’s a man. Yeah.

Last book you read = This is going to sound so stupid. I love the book “Eloise.” It’s a children’s book. I read it all the time.

Jim Bob: I don’t know “Eloise.”

She lives at the Plaza Hotel. And it’s funny that I got it when I was little, because she has a pet turtle and when my dad divorced my mom, I lived with my dad and since he lived in an apartment, I couldn’t have a dog. So he got me a turtle and I used to walk my turtle on a ribbon and pretend it was a leash. And Eloise in the book has a pet turtle that she walks on this leash. And so my dad got me that book when I was little and I love that book. I still read it. Even though I know every page, every sentence, I still friggin read it.

Last store you visited on Melrose = On Melroooooose…..I haven’t been to Melrose. The last store I was at was Fred Segals, Santa Monica.

18. What was more traumatic for you, finding Vince?s palm pilot with chicks names in it or being in the movie Rock Star?

(laughs) Well making Rock Star was a friggin blast. I swear, it was like Summer camp. They were mixing cocktails, now I am not a girl to turn down a cocktail. But I would be going to my trailer and pouring mine out because they were so strong. I mean, not days were we had dialogue, but sometimes it takes a day to film us getting in limos and driving out somewhere. Those would be like margarita days, you know? So, I can’t say it was painful appearing in Rock Star. I mean, I had…I think that it got edited to poop. To shit, you know. Because the original story I thought was great and I think a lot of it got lost in my opinion. But I had a blast making it so I’m not ashamed of it. Finding the dumb, idiot, left….I wouldn’t know how to get into…I guess there are secret sections in the Palm Pilots.

Jim Bob: I guess.

Ok, I didn’t know this. Well the idiot left the Palm Pilot on in the secret section and I come home from work, I think I was doing 90210 at the time. You know that show like Beverly Hills 90210?

Jim Bob: Right.

I was working, I’ve been up since 4, I was coming in, we were filming out in the desert, it’s like 2 in the morning and I looked over and I’m like, “Sherry. St. Louis, loves anal.” I’m like, “what the hell?”(chuckles) And then, actually since he had already left it on in the bad part, all I had to do was scroll down and I mean it was like uh, “Jennnifer, New York, lesbian sex.” “Sheila, Dallas” uh…..I mean it had specific things. Well cause apparently he couldn’t keep ‘em straight. (laughs) He needed like little, little things to remind him actually what he needed to bring to the table.But apparently someone told me about some website, which I never looked at, but it’s like a Groupie Central something.

Jim Bob: Yes

And everyone says Vince is a terrible lover. That he sucks in bed. He didn’t suck in bed with me. He was my husband. Of course. He was always making up for shit so he tried really hard. But apparently he’s not a very giving lover when it comes to groupies. There’s a lot of complaints I hear. (laughs) But you know really, kind of fuck them (laughs)cause everyone knew the guy was married, so sorry if they didn’t get their nuts off, but you know sorry, he was saving it for me.

Listen to the MP3 of this answer!

19. Recently you said that Vince wanted you to grow in your pubic hair for Playboy because he didn?t want anybody seeing the goods, and that?s why you had a big bush.

His whole thing was no lippage. I don’t want anybody to see your lips. So yeah, he made sure that, I mean everything’s trimmed and wonderful now and it has it’s own beauty routine these days. But then, just during me shooting Playboy I had to grow it out and I even had to grow it out and like pull it down to make sure everything was covered. Yeah. Totally true.However, your centerfold came out before you met Vince and after you said your goal was to marry a rockstar in your datasheet. Do you mind clarifying your statement?

One, that’s not true. In my centerfold, if you read my centerfold interview, it says we don’t go out much. I was already with Vince. When I met Vince, all I had shot, I had done a cover for Playboy. And that’s where he saw a Polaroid of me and tracked me down. I hadn’t shot a centerfold. I hadn’t shot one picture for my centerfold. I had shot the cover where I was dressed. So the picture he saw of me, I had clothes on. And my datasheet, they’re thinking of another girl that Vince fucked that was a Playmate and that was her goal. And I know the girl, and I refuse to even say her name because of course she chased Vince for years after we were together. But that was her goal. They’re getting me confused. The very first picture I ever took for my centerfold, Vince and I were already together.

20. Time for Metal Sludge?s Word Association. We mention a name and you give us your thoughts.

Sharise Neil = great mommy.

Brent Woods = (pause) Judas

Samantha Maloney = whore

Nikki Sixx = (pause) mmm, (long pause) mmmm, there’s mixed ones there. He’s been a good friend but he lied for Vince on occasion. Um, Nikki(pause) Donna’s husband.

Howard Stern = (laughs) Howard. (pause)I’m afraid of him! (laughs) I’ve been asked to come on his show and I know I’ll get ripped to shreds for being such an idiot. I would just get ripped to shreds. He would want to see my boobs and then tell me I’m an idiot for staying with Vince, so I’m afraid of him.

Tommy Lee = ahhhh, great face. Hysterically funny, bad decisions.

Dennis Rodman = (pause) flamboyant.

Pamela Anderson = I like Pam. Uh, good mom, realllllllly bad decisions. Take the tapes with ya dummy.(laughs) Take the tapes, don’t leave them behind.

Donna D?Errico = Nikki’s wife.

Hugh Hefner = kickin’ ass. Screwin 7 girls at 70 plus. God bless him.

Jim Bob: Alright, you’re all done.

Alright, well thank you!

Jim Bob: How do you feel?

I feel fine, how do you feel? (laughs)

Now that’s good stuff! Wow, lets recap:

Vince gave Heidi an engagement ring with fake diamonds!

Samantha Maloney is dirty, dirty, whore.

She had a sex tape with Vince but taped Oprah over it.

Vince is a pathological liar, used to beat the shit out of her, steal her makeup, and left her $100,000 in debt.

David Lee Roth is a fucking gross pig.

When Vince gets nervous he blinks a lot and rocks back and forth on his feet.

Heidi isn’t into anal sex but a chick named Sherry in St. Louis loves anal!

Much Sludge Love to Heidi for having a good time and answering everything, and rumor has it she might even have her own column here at Metal Sludge, but that’s purely speculation right now. Of course, much Valentine’s Love to Jim Bob for pulling it off once again!

For more info on Heidi including her own updates and a variety of photos, check out www.HeidiMarkLand.com