Metal Sludge Band-Off! 4/7/05

Metal Sludge presents…

Help bring the Zyris/Jester feud to a close!

Unless you’ve had your head up your ass the last few weeks, you’ve probably taken note of the bitter feud going on between two little-known local bands from New Jersey. (Actually, one of them isn’t even a band anymore, but that’s beside the point.)

It all started with a 10 Questions interview with the band Zyris a few weeks back. Zyris’ drummer Scott Skocypec stepped up to the plate and gave us one of the best 10 Questions ever to be posted at Metal Sludge. He slagged on all kinds of bands and artists, including another band from New Jersey called Jester.

Now, Jester gave it up and called it a day a few years ago, but their former bassist Rob Ellis took offense to his band being called a bunch of "no-talent ass-clowns," so he sent in a lengthy retort and basically ripped Scott a new one in front of thousands of wide-eyed Sludgeaholics.

Rob’s response stirred the pot quite a bit, and soon we had both Scott and Rob going at each other’s throats by sending a ceaseless barrage of insults to each other by way of Metal Sludge, which of course we posted for the whole world to see. It was so much fun to watch, in fact, that we ended up giving Jester their own 10 Questions interview, which we posted exactly a week after Zyris’ went up.

By that point, we had everyone from rock stars and famous producers to Sludgeaholics from all over the Garden State (and as far away as Japan) chiming in with their opinions. Even to this day, we’re still getting e-mails about the Zyris/Jester feud!

OK people, fun is fun, but we’ve had about enough of the never-ending stream of opinions about 2 local bands that hardly anyone outside of New Jersey had ever heard of. Neither band ever even had a real record deal! Enuff’s Z’nuff already! Time to settle this once and for all.

"How are you going to do that," you ask? Simple. We’re going to have a Band-Off!

Now you’re asking out loud, "what in the fuck is a ‘band-off?’" What, you’ve never heard of one? Well, that’s what you call it when two feuding bands stop slagging each other with words, plug into their amps, and as that guy that used to sing for the Joe Perry project once put it, "let the music do the talking!" Kind of like that club in that Eminem movie "8-Mile" when they had that Rap-Off, but different.

Before we begin, here’s a few quick facts about each band just in case you weren’t paying attention:

We’re holding our first-ever Metal Sludge Band-Off in an abandoned clam bar down on the Jersey shore. We even brought in our own generators so there would be enough power for the PA and the cheap-ass lighting rig we found buried in the sand. Both bands have gotten together all their members (or former members, in Jester’s case) and are now ready to play a song for you! Each band only gets one shot, so they picked what they thought would be the biggest crowd-pleaser and now they’re ready to rock it out like their fate depends on it. (Actually, it kinda does, but we’re not trying to be over-dramatic here.)

Alright, enough fucking around! Below are links to a track from each band — "Whiskey Mind" from Zyris, and "Radio" from Jester. Don’t be a jackass and only download one song. Listen to both of them before you make up your mind, then when you’ve heard each song, vote in the poll down below. See how easy? It’s kind of like a live Band-Off, being that the winner will be determined by audience response, so be sure to vote! Ready? Good. Now check out the tunes!

There, you’ve sucked up all our bandwidth downloading those fucking tracks. Now it’s time to vote!