Metal Sludge The Power and the Glory
KISS to open KISS BURGER fast food chain?
This sounds unbelievable. But the real questions is do they have a play land for kids or a 24 hour drive thru. And the KISS Kattle look more authentic than Tommy Thayer in make up.
To find out more about KISS BURGER read on & enjoy.
HORNY COWS ARE HAPPY COWS…
And happy cows just taste better! That’s a proven fact.
At KISS BURGER we only use meat from cows raised on our very own KISS RANCH located in Calabasas, CA. Why are our cows so happy? Our KISS KATTLE are allowed to roam freely on 200 acres of God’s green earth all the while enjoying KISS music and videos 24/7 on a state-of-the-art media system. And promiscuity is greatly encouraged.
Our cows and bulls are massaged daily by Thai hookers and fed a steady diet of rich whole grains, Spanish Fly and a small does of street-grade PCP. Trust me, I don’t condone drugs – and I never even had a sip of alcohol in my entire life – but there is something about this PCP that kicks the flavor up a notch. The end justifies the means.
Remember our cows are slaughtered in a very friendly Kosher style. One minute their watching "Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park" in the barn, the next their in twenty pieces in a meat truck. They never see it coming.
Every successful business needs to have a unique angle to beat out the competition. At KISS BURGER we have literally "beat off" the competition with our pattened "LOVE GUN" Secret Sauce! (contains the DNA from at least 2 original members of KISS).We not only select the best ingredients possible, we ARE the ingredients. That’s right, our KISS BURGER "LOVE GUN" SECRET SAUCE actually contains DNA from at least two founding members of KISS – GUARANTEED! Quality you can taste in every bite — and extra protein your body needs!
I can’t tell you how our DNA got there – but trust me. it’s in there…
KISS BURGER – BACKSTAGE V.I.P. MENU!
Besides our standard menu of outstanding Burgers, Fries and Shakes, KISS BURGER is adding some new and exciting items to our menu — items that reflect the greatness and unique personalities of the four original members. I think you’ll find something to please everyone!
PAUL’S BALLS – MATZO BALL SOUP
You haven’t lived until you’ve had one of Paul’s warm round balls in your mouth! From an old Eisen family recipe, once you cradle a warm bowl of Paul’s balls in your hands you will be a true believer. Best Matzo ball soup in LA!
ACE’S "STONED-OVEN" PIZZA
We don’t know what the hell Ace has been putting on these pies, but it sure isn’t Oregano. One of the more popular "BACKSTAGE" menu items, one slice and you’ll be seeing spacemen! Sloppier than one of his post-1975 solos, this is the only item we let Ace cook — seriously, how could anyone screw up a pizza?
GENE’S MINI WEINERS AND "LICK IT UP" DIPPING SAUCE
Kids are people too! And more people means more potential KISS FAN$! We have the perfect bite size snacks to keep those little demons bastards in line. Mini weiners jammed into soft round buns – they go great with our patented "Lick It Up" dipping sauce. And remember, we use only the finest Kosher meats in our products!
LET PAUL STANLEY "TOSS YOUR SALAD!"
KISS BURGER has just added a new "all you can eat"* salad bar to our California-based restaurants. On Friday nights Paul will be at our West Hollywood location to toss your salad personally.Trust me, I’ve known Paul for like 40 years and have seen him work magic with fruits and vegetables. Who knows, maybe his "wife" will show up too. (* salad bar is limited to one trip per person, and is only available for 7 minutes after initial purchase.)
For tons more info on the amazing KISS BURGER including pictures, detailed menu, and of course a great opportunity to work @ KISS BURGER visit Http://www.kissburger.com
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