Wednesday 13

t.Odd (left) with Shawn Smash – Warp Tour dirtbags

Wednesday 13 “The Dixie Dead” CD Review

Written By: t.Odd

 

The Good, the Glam & the Ugly: Record reviews and other unnecessary bullshit by t.Odd

Holy fuck… I got mail! Not fan mail of course, BETTER! Mr. Wednesday 13 was kind enough to send me physical copy of his new “The Dixie Dead” CD, (or maybe he just had some lackey send it, but regardless it’s cool to get an actual “record” to review as opposed to the iTunes downloads I paid for myself for previous reviews).

Mr . 13 and I go WAY back, and even though I don’t think we’ve ever met in person, we’re kindred spirits. Back in the late 90’s his “Frankenstein Drag Queens from Planet 13” band used to share space with my band the Mistakes in any website, fanzine or anywhere else someone would pay attention to us ugly motherfuckers! It was always comforting to know that there was a band that was uglier and wearing MORE makeup than us in “punk” mags like maximum rock and roll! Dude was wearing face-paint and a skirt in North Carolina during the “grunge” era, which is WAY more punk rock than most of the so-called punk bands that rose to fame back then.

Artist: Wednesday 13

Record: The Dixie Dead

Label: DevCo Entertainment

1st impression of the CD:

It’s a DVD! Well, it’s packaged like a DVD, clam-shell and all, and also includes a full-color booklet and poster. Old-school and cool as fuck. The cover art is the real-deal as far as “B” horror films go, and I know this for a fact because I’ve been marketing and selling similar films at my “day job” for nearly 20 years!

The Image:

News Flash: Wednesday 13 likes horror films! Anyone familiar with his 20+ years as a recording artist (solo and in the Murderdolls) knows this, and anyone that ran into him on the street would probably figure it out pretty fucking quick! Classic “cowboys and zombies” vibe, with a band to match.

The Songs:

This record sounds more like a “double feature” to me, with the first 6 songs having a different vibe than the last 7. Opening tracks “Blood Sucker”, “Get Your Grave On”, “Curse The Living”, “Too Fast for Blood” and “Hail Ming” are all straight-up old-school riff-based White Zombie meets Pantera METAL! Head-banging fucking metal! Not much “Dixie” in these tunes, but LOTS of “Dead”! “Hail Ming” in particular makes me want to bang my face off the wall a few hundred times while pledging my eternal allegiance to mighty “Ming”! Now I have no fucking idea who “Ming” is, but it doesn’t matter, because as the HAIL MING chorus repeatedly gang rapes your ear drums at maximim volume you’ll HAIL THAT FUCKER! NO QUESTIONS ASKED!

All those songs are killer, but my tastes tend to favor the more melodic (aka wimpy, pussy-ass) stuff. My Murderdolls playlist has tunes like “Love at First Fright”, “Grave Robbing USA”, “Nowhere” and “Summertime Suicide”, so I was thinking maybe Wednesday only did the heavy stuff on this record, but then I got to “Act 2”.

“Coming Attractions” – This is an intro piece that starts the 2nd half of the record, and is pretty much a B-Movie trailer for the rest of the record, setting the tone for a more “theatrical” vibe to follow. 

“Dixie Dead” – Fucking slide guitar?? NOW we’re in the south bitch! The “Dead” get all fucking “Duck Dynasty” on this one, with visions of Zombie Hillbillies rising from the bayou to enact revenge on all the fucking “Yankees” that wronged them coming to mind!  

 “Ghost Stories” – This is one of my favorite tracks, a slow burner that has a killer melody. Sounds like a song that could be in “Paranormal 12” or whatever paranormal movie Hollywood is putting out next. The melody is great, BUT you just KNOW he’s going to rip her heart out with a rusty spork (that’s a spoon that’s ALSO a fork, brilliant utensil invention!) and eat it as he watches her die, so to the girl I’d suggest NOT telling him the fucking Ghost Stories! Save yourself!

“Fuck You, (In Memory Of…)” – Is this a cover? Having a song called “Fuck You” USED to be super fucking hardcore, until Ceelo Green did it, now it’s just “edgy” (I hate that fucking term)! Either way this song fucking RULES! “Don’t go away mad” by Motley mixed with a nice dose of punk attitude and humor, perfect for dedicating to those you hate the most! This needs to be my ring tone!

“Carol Anne…They’re Here” – Now I’m no classic horror film expert like Wednesday, but even I know that Carol Anne is the girl from “Poltergiest”. I think. Either way it’s another melodic one that I like a lot.

“Hands Of The Ripper” – This one kicks the tempo back up to a respectable level of bloody-knuckle rock, bringing the record to a close the way it started, with some blistering metal!

“Death Arise (Overture)” – This instrumental piece has a Judas Priest “hellion” vibe, but with the tempo of the last remaining survivor of the “Dixie Dead” massacre, as he or she limps into the sunrise with one eye, dragging a partially attached leg, thinking that the nightmare is finally over! But it’s NEVER over, you just know that as long as there’s one survivor you can count on a sequel!

3 songs to buy on >iTunes< and add to your “Spooky Rock” playlist: “Hail Ming”, “Ghost Stories” “Fuck You”.

In conclusion:

Wednesday 13 is rock survivor that has 20 years under his belt but still has that “new artist” hunger that will hopefully drive him to be around another 20+ years. And luckily for him it will fit his image perfectly to be like 80 years old looking like a corpse rocking out! Now he just needs to make a real horror film to go with the record! Seriously, somebody needs to stop letting Rob Zombie make shitty horror films (and ruin classics) and let some “new blood” take over! Get it? New BLOOD? I crack myself up! But seriously, buy this record. NOW.

t.Odd @ Twitter

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