A SPRING-IS-HERE MAILBAG FOR 4/3/05

whoooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

If you live in a part of the world where it snows during winter, then you’re probably happy today, because Spring is here! You can tell it’s spring outside because flowers are coming up, animals are fucking in public, and your nads don’t turn into ice cubes if you go out for more than 10 minutes.

And what better way to usher in Spring than by posting all the interesting e-mail we’ve gotten over the last several weeks! There’s a ton, so let’s get right to it.

Let’s start out with some shit about the never-ending Zyris/Jester feud. (Click that link to catch up on all of this; I don’t feel like having to explain it all over again. Fuck that!)

You really should bring Scott Skypokec and Rob Ellis together for a Sludge “celebrity” Boxing Match.

How cool would that be?!

Just a thought…

Hey Sludge,

Man this is great ! I love the name calling and backstabbing. While you guys are interviewing bands that broke up, I would love to hear what Penny Lane has to say about this, as they were pretty big on the Jersey scene a while back. I’m sure you can get Billy Gash to add his 2 cents.

http://www.billygashandpennylane.com/plhome.html

Later

Brandon

Here’s a comment from acclaimed producer / songwriter / guitarist / New Jersey resident Jack Ponti!

It’s turning into New Jersey Sludge isn’t it?

Looks that way.

I?d like to add something to the Zyris/Jester debate, and even though I am not familiar with either band, I would like to mention a few things in regards to opening for Quiet Riot. About 10 or so years a go my band opened for them in a club that you could probably fit inside a walk-in closet. We showed up not really knowing what to expect, but we had heard a few horror stories from other bands about opening for QR, so we were prepared for the worst, but we were rather surprised by the actual outcome. The band was kind to us for the most part, specifically Kevin Dubrow and Frank Banali, both of whom went out of their way during soundcheck to come over to our group and introduce themselves (Dubrow by the way is a tall dude! Both my drummer and I craned our necks a bit to talk to him and we are both around 6?!). And yes, the band didn?t show up til our set was over, so I have a little trouble believing stories about Kevin Dubrow making bands quit halfway thru their set (and to be honest, we actually went OVER our time limit-we were wishing QR would show up ?cos we were starting to run out of material!). And yes, Dubrow DID mention to the audience the fact that one of the founding members of QR was Randy Rhoads-and who the fuck in their right mind WOULDN?T want to mention that? He was one of the greatest guitarists that ever lived!

Anyway-that?s my 2 cents.

THANKS!
Shawn L. Fratis

I play in a local San Diego band called Junkies and Thieves. We hope to do a 10 questions spot one day soon. (we are in the process of getting the required nude chick pic)

-Richie Lewis

Dear Sludge,

I really don’t know anything about these bands, but I do know rumors and hearsay.

Zyris is really a band of transexual nazi dwarves with an ankle fetish. As the rumor goes, Scott has an extensive collection os prosthetic ankles that he strokes and fondles. Zyris didn’t really start in New Jersey. They were beamed down from the mothership and ended up there. Before all Zyris shows, Scott drinks a gallon of bleach and recites the mantra “I am in my safe place.” The Ozzy and Sharon issue was because Scott was eating all of Ozzy’s live sacrifices backstage. Ozzy got angry and knocked him off of the tour. After Zyris was kicked off the tour, they were walking out of the building, and when Scott wasn’t looking he accidentally bumped into Robert Barclay Ellis III of Jester. After Scott not apologizing, they’ve had bad blood ever since.

The Anonymous Tipper

And your point is?

Anyhow, sooner or later, the Zyris/Jester feud is going to have to come to a close. And Metal Sludge is here to help do exactly that! How will this happen? Well, we happen to have something up our sleeves that might help expedite a solution to put this silly feud behind us once and for all. Hooray! Check back in a day or so to see how our plan unfolds.

Next up is some feedback we’ve gotten about Jani Lane’s Back-4-More interview that got posted the other day.

The Jani Back 4 More turned out great! I laughed more than once… very cool.

xoxo

Read your “Back 4 More” with Jani Lane, and noticed you guys were having a hard time finding websites about him. Hope the following helps…

Jani Lane’s official website – http://www.laneyjanemusic.com

Here is another one I came across – http://www.janilanefan.net/

Kris

A Jani Lane fan site? Amazing. Even more amazing is the fact that someone was able to find those sites, but still doesn’t look like Jani’s got an ‘official’ site in the traditional sense of the word. That Laney Jane Music site has a bunch of audio clips if you want to use one of Jani’s songs for a commercial or movie soundtrack, but there’s no tour dates, photos, message board, or any of the other crap you’d expect to see on an ‘official’ site. Go figure.

Dear Sludge:

As per your Jani Lane interview: Schweinehund is actually German for “pig dog.” I grew up in a German family, and I’ve heard that more than once.

What a coincidence! I just had pig dog for lunch. I specifically remember it because Donna Anderson started dry heaving when she caught a whiff of pig dog in the microwave. I’m not allowed to eat in the Metal Sludge break room anymore.

By the way, is the interview category “Back-4-More” some kind of Ratt (their song Back For More) rip off?

-Curt Jensen

Actually, the name “Back-4-More” was given to us by Enuff Z’Nuff singer Donnie Vie on December 17, 2003. We were originally going to call the 4th interview that Metal Sludge has done with someone the “4-Skin,” a name which we liked a lot. But since Donnie was the first victim to do 4 interviews with us, we let him pick the name, and that’s what he came up with.

Jani Lane deserves a “SuperBalls” Award, even if his balls are just bigger from excess body weight. The dude has been slammed on this site a million times (not that it wasn’t deserved) — but to still be “down” with a fourth interview… well, I for one am rather impressed and quite pleased. I was never a Warrant superfan, but the guy is a brilliant songwriter, if nothing else. Good for you, Jani Lane, for not taking yourself seriously.

C. Beardsley
48 Hours To Sludge

This isn’t about Jani Lane’s Back-4-More interview, but it’s related because it’s a review from the same show in New Jersey that we sent C.C. Banana to go check out and hit Jani up for his 4th interview with us.

Hi

Just wanted all Sludgeaholics to know that myself and my bass player Steve, (www.TheOtherHalfOnline.com), went to check out Jani Lane tonight in Clifton, NJ.

Jani sounded ok, his band was pretty good, but Jani looked like a cross between the Joker and Phyllis Diller’s cousin. He looks a lot better than he did when he was looking like a wrestler, but a far cry from his heyday.

The highpoint of the night, Jani switches to the drums when the band played Cheap Trick’s Surrender, Jani did not know the words. So the drummer and the bass player and guitarist, (Alex, I think he played for BC), start singing and the drummer looks out in the crowd and mid chorus points to me and yells out, Hey Metal Sludge! That’s right I ad my Sludgendise on buddy boy.

I was going to try to snag a pic with Mr. Lane but from the past posts of his I felt he would be rather unwilling.

GREG

Here’s a review of a show at the same club in New Jersey, but this time it’s the White Lion/Enuff Z’Nuff show that took place a few weeks ago.

I wasn’t able to attend the show tonight however I received word form a friend of mine that the Fire Marshall showed up………….

He got there around 10pm and the club wouldnt let know one else in and there was about 30 people waiitng to get in…

Digbatz is way to small to have national acts…The legal fire code has to be about 100 people…

I’ve been there plenty of times but the most I’ve seen in there was about 70 people and it was packed…..

STUD

ps-maybe the late announcement of CC Banana drew the people

Another person’s semi-lucid thoguhts about the White Lion/Enuff Z’Nuff tour:

I am a HUGE fan of 80’s music…I will stick up for almost any 80’s artist, and believe that hard rockin 80’s is what people long to hear. However, when a sold out show for White Lion and Enuff Z’nuff is 200 people, I about want to puke! I play guitar in a band that plays 80’s cover songs, and some select current and classic music. I am not looking for a plug or to stroke my ego… but when we play in our local town and surrounding communties we usually draw 150 to 200 plus people. People just want to come out and party to songs that they love, but can’t hear from most cover bands. We all have careers and play music for fun and for the the love of it. It dosen’t pay our bills, and we do not tour out of state. I love White Lion and Enuff Z’nuff has always been one of my favorite bands.. .but if a sold out show means 200 people – I would pack it up and find something else to do. That is almost too embarrasing… I mean, just 2 to 3 years ago Enuff Z’Nuff was the first slot on the Poison tour playing areans, now their lucky to pay their sound man. My cover band (and I am a nobody by the way) draws as much people as Mike Tramp at a live show!!! For every 80’s success story you have out there (Motley Crue, Poison, Guns/Velvet Revolver), you have honest, talented, hard-working musicians who do not get the credit they deserve. And if tour after tour you see the same thing happening, just give the fuck up and sell insurance.

Love live 80’s rock and the FUCKIN’ sludge!!!
Jim

That was a waste of 20 questions.

Thank You,

Jeff Kramer

Well, thanks for the feedback, but it would help if you told us which 20 Questions you were referring to! We put up a new one each week, so if you’re going to complain about one of them, please take the time to tell us which one you’re bitching about. Thanks.

that last 20 questions was so boring, i was already forgetting what i read while i was reading it.

There’s another e-mail about a 20 Questions interview, but again, we don’t know which one they’re unhappy with! Use the “subject” line, people! Geez.

At least this next one came in regards to Julliet’s singer Kenny McGee that went up last week.

You should have asked him in question #8 the last time he sucked a dick for COKE and watch him dodge that question like Bill Clinton… HA HA HA HA…

Yeah, ha fucking ha. As hard core as Metal Sludge’s research department is, they still can’t dig up every little miniscule fact about everyone we interview. Sometimes, some information about people just isn’t that public, and it’s proabably for good reason. Trust us, we think of enough ridiculous shit to ask people to fill in the gaps.

Next up is some various feedback about ex-Sweet F.A. drummer Tricky Lane’s 20 Questions. Apparently, some of you didn’t like them so much! Poor Tricky.

Sludge,

Just got through Tricky’s 20 questions. What a self-important, humor lacking, bore he comes off as. I loved Sweet FA back in the day. Hell my Sludge moniker is part tribute to them. But why is that every member of that band has gone into some exile fitting Eddie and the Cruisers? They were just a second-rate TESLA with decent songs and poor business sense. Give us the dirt Tricky!! What do you got to lose? I guess you don’t want to jeopardize your LA club gigs. Very disappointing!!

Thanks for trying Sludge!! Find Steven DeLong!!!

Lillian Roxy FA

y’alls 20 questions with “Tricky” Lane were the gayest yet. Seriously, who pusses out on the rate-a-chick question? This guy didn’t even try to give good answers. Fuck you, “Tricky” Lane. I could’ve spent those ten minutes maturbating. – Walt B

Here’s some more Tricky Lane feedback. This time it’s from September 2001 Sludgeaholic of the Month Jason Satterfield. whoooooooo!

Hey, just wanted to pass on the 411 on the Tuff / Sweet F.A. show that was talked about in Tricky’s 20 Questions. The show was actually at Bogart’s in Cincinnati, the date was Dec. 1, 1991. I was there…and I am pretty sure that the Tuff set exists on video, because I took the attached screenshot from the Tuff home video from that gig. I know this cuz that’s my big head in the bottom left coner (with the glasses).

I recall the TUFF guys being pissed…I think the monitors were fucked or something. I recall Michael Lean trashing his drumset.

Also, the last ever Sweet F.A. show was in the spring of 1992. Al Rosa Villa in Columbus, OH. Tricky said ’91, but I know it was 92.

Thanks…
Fat SOTM

Here’s even more feedback about recent 20 Questions interviewees, starting with an e-mail about ex-Saigon Kick singer Matt Kramer’s 20 Questions.

THANK YOU!!!! for doing the 20 Q’s with Matt. SK is still to this day one of the most underated bands of all time. Now, I hope you can get that cocksucker Jason to answer a few questions. But like most lying thieves he will not have the balls.

Ken

After reading the 20 questions that you guys did with Chuck Wright I realized something. I have seen him twice in different bands. Once was with Quiet Riot on the QRIII tour. It was in a little old movie theater in my town. I was 7th row right in front of Frankie’s bass drum. He was extremely good I gotta tell ya. The second time was at a different theater in my town and he was playing in House Of Lords opening for Cheap Trick. Again it was an awesome show. The funny thing is I still have the concert shirts!!!

Just wanted to share the fact that you brought back some memories.

Jon Bon Wright

Hey Sludgers.

Just wanted to throw a line your way and thank you for the 20 Questions with Vic Hix. I was a big fan of Shok Paris back in the day and was wondering whatever became of them.

Thanks to your doing the 20 with Vic, I’ve discovered Aftershok and as a fan of ‘classic metal’ (what a fucked up term that is!) I’m really diggin on their material.

Again, thanks a lot for the 20 Questions and resurrecting the career of one my favorite metal voices.
=)

Even though it was in early October of 2004 when we did 20 Questions with Queensryche bassist Eddie Jackson, we’re STILL getting feedback about it today.

HELLO

I JUST BUMPED INTO YOUR SITE WHEN I SAW 20 QUESTIONS WITH EDDIE JACKSON. I JUST SAW THE Q’S & A’S ONE THING TO SAY- FUNNY. Q.R IS MY FAVORITE BAND. WHO’S RESPONSIBLE FOR THE INTERVIEW WITH EDDIE?? ARE THERE ANYOTHER 2O QUESTIONS WITH OTHER RYCHE MEMBERS I’D LIKE TO SEE THEM &HEAR IT. I CAN’T TRASH YA’LL BECAUSE I’VE NEVER HEARD OF YA’LL. BYE (GIRL) THANKS

Here’s a request we got to interview someone! We like requests. Seriously! A lot of the people we interview come to our attention when fans e-mail us demainding we interview someone, so we appreciate that. Now fuck off.

Hello fellow Rock/Metal worshipers:

I was just cruisin’ through your website and was interested in knowing if you could do an updated 20 Questions with Nick Walsh of former Slik Toxik fame.

Nick has formed a new band called ‘Revolver’ and thier debut album comes out in stores on Feb. 15/05. The band also features Sean Kelly (Crash Kelly) which you did recently. Would be interested in hearing what Nick has to say lately. Look him up at www.revolvertv.com.

Thanx a bunch from a Canadian chic,

Miss Hell

Well, Miss Hell, we don’t do ’20 Questions updates,’ but we do have something called the Metal Sludge Rewind! It’s when we go back and do an interview with someone who’s already done 20 Questions.

We’d actually love to do a Rewind with Slik Nick, and we’ve even sent him a few e-mails asking if he’d be interested in doing one. We haven’t heard back from him yet. Maybe if anyone knows Nick, they can bug him about it and maybe he’ll agree. We have lots of catching up to do!

When the hell is metal-sludge going to do a 20 questions with ron jeremy??

December 17, 2002.

Random fan Let me do 20 questions Ill tell you the truth about going to shows. Seeing Joe Leste drunk on stage Seeing Malmsteen refuse to play due to bad sound till he played backstage. Listen to Taime Downe Blame the fans of Philadelphia for there horrid set. You get the point the fans get more pussy than these used to be rock stars anyway interview us. Start with me

Bruce Chelucci

Wh-wh-what? Dude, what in the fuck are you talking about? Don’t forget to strap on your helmet as you descend into tard town.

Here’s some feedback we got about the 10 Questions interview we did back in February with Bones Gang from Minneapolis.

WHATS UP WITH THE BONES GANG 10 QUESTIONS????

MY NAME IS KURT IM THE NEW SINGER OLD DRUMMER FOR A BAND CALLED MENACE FROM MN. IVE NEVER SEEN BONES GANG BUT I KNOW OF THEM!!! ITS MINNESOTA WE ALL KNOW OF EACH OTHER!!! WHY DO THEY GET A 10 QUESTIONS???? ITS NOT FAIR!!!!! WE EVEN PLAY THE SAME SONGS???? AND WE ARE A BIGGER BAND!!!! WAAAAAA BOO HOOO!!!

OUR FANS WOULD THINK IT WAS COOL TOO????? WE LOVE METAL SLUDGE!!!!! LETS SEE ANY OTHER TID BITS THAT WOULD HELP OUR QUEST FOR METAL SLUDGE FAME?????!!!!!!!!! OH YEA WE HAVE DONE ALOT OF NATIONAL ACTS TOO WARRANT,THE RIOT BOYS, FIREHOUSE, GREATWHITE, OHH OHH OHH OH YEA CHIP ZNUFF IS MY BUDDY!!!!

OK IT JUST MADE ME SAD THAT I LOVE THE SLUDGE SO MUCH AND SAT THREW “PBF” ON THE MXE TOUR AND THEY!!! GET A TEN QUESTIONS FUCK!!!!!!!

THANX KURT/C.C.
WWW.MENACEROCKS.COM

Can you suck our cock any harder? Geez, just fucking e-mail 10Questions@metalsludge.tv and hope for the best like all the other 10 Questions wannabes do.

Best 10 Questions interview. EVER.

All Hail Sludge,
punkrockcop

If you say so!

Next, we have a legitimate inquiry from our 2004 Sludgeaholic of the Year, Mr. Smilin’ Mike! whoooooooooooo!

I have a quick question, maybe a stupid question, but I always laugh when you ask the bass players on 10 or 20 Q’s if they “ever boiled their bass strings” lol… Is that some legit thing to do or what, meaning what is the purpose of doing it, just me wondering, cuz you know I am not a musician, but one hell of a fan as you know… See ya.!

Smilin Mike

Well, Smilin’ Mike, I’m here to tell you that the reason people boil their bass strings is that’s the only proper way to prepare them for consumption! You see, bass strings are very, very tough to chew on, so you have to let them boil for at least 30 mintues in order to soften them up. You can’t grill or broil them ’cause they blacken too easily, and you can’t pan-fry them ’cause they’ll get even harder than they already are. And you shouldn’t dare microwave them, because they’ll make sparks and will probably blow up your microwave and your hair will fall out from radiation poisoning. So boiling them is the only way. Glad I could help clear that up for you.

Here’s a nice e-mail we got from ckck, our Swedish Sludgette of the Month for March 2005.

Hey, just wanted to thank you for having me as March’s Sludgette of the Month, it has been a lot of fun! And I’m still impressed of your knowledge about Sweden in the questions!

ckck

You’re quite welcome! What can we say? We know the fucking atlas.

Here’s some feedback, both pro and con, about Iann Robinson’s resurrected column, “Thirsty and Miserable.”

Thank fuckin god Iann wrote another column!! I’ve been coming to the site for about 5 years now and since he started his column, it’s become my favorite part of the site. Myself being into the heavier forms of metal and punk myself, I find everything he says like he has been reading my mind. We got all these dipshits making second rate watered down metal, when two years before they were ripping on all things metal. Now it’s cool to play riffs European Metal bands have been playing for years, wearing eyeliner, a black shirt and/or a vintage Motley t-shirt, and claiming to be hardcore!! These fucks were all decked out in their Kurt Cobain and Green Day shirts in high school, then they started a rap metal band, claimed to hate rap metal the very next year while in their pop punk band, and now they dress like the dude from AFI, quit eating meat, and write song titles trying to be all ethereal and about a paragraph long. I agree with Iann, I am a music fan first and foremost, I can listen to my RATT, S.O.D., Deicide, Tori Amos, Ray Charles, and Mayhem all in the same day and not get caught up in all this crap. So please Iann, keep being our true heavy music fans voice and exposing this watered down crap for what it is!!!!

say10

why are you continuing to let iann robinson have a column on your website. he is a moronic, angry piece of shit who thinks he’s got it all figured out when in actuallity all he has figured out is that if he drops names of obscure as shit bands , some idiot kid out there is going to think he’s cool ’cause he’s “underground”. nothing qualifies this asshole to have a forum to express his views on anything and everything aside from his mtv cred and even then- it’s mtv!!! they’ll put anyone on tv. this guy needs to figure out that nobody really has it figured out. not even the great iann robinson. in the meantime can someone please give this guy a hug so he’ll shut the fuck up.

thank you
andre smith

Give it a rest with the Iann Robinson crap. This guy has never done anything of quality. He’s just a bitter asshole, and he isn’t funny. He doesn’t talk about any band that is relevant to Metal Sludge. He hates the metal horns? Maybe it’s because he doesn’t get to flash them every 30 minutes on MTV2 anymore. He hates Juliya? Maybe because he jealous of her job. He hates people that are pretentious? This guy is one of the most pretentious motherfuckers to ever loiter around the spotlight. Fuck Iann Robinson.

P.S. He hates film students? I wonder if that includes the man he jizzed himself over on national TV, George Lucas (USC posterboy)?

Louis

Hey, love him or hate him, Iann Robinson gets people talking, and we can’t say one bad thing about that. We think Iann rules because he always stirs the pot and gets people upset and yelling at each other. It’s anarchy! We back that, and we back Iann. We’ll keep posting his “Thirsty and Miserable” updates as long as he keeps sending them in.

Here’s a nice friendly e-mail we got from recent 20 Questions victim Lizzie Grey of Spiders and Snakes, and formerly of London:

Hey Metal Sludge,

Spiders & Snakes “Hollywood Ghosts” is #6 most added record in the country on CMJ Loud charts this week!!! Thanks again for the much-needed exposure! You guys ROCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!

Lizzie

Here’s more titilating e-mail from another 20 Questions alumnus. This time it’s former Mindbomb frontman Matt Mercado!

Mindbomb album named top 20 most underrated albums of the last 20 years by “Metal Edge Magazine”.

Grab a copy today and check out your buddy!

Looks like we’re not the only ones who appreciate the rather obscure debut CD from Mindbomb. And some of you thought we made that band up! Ha!

Hey Sludge!

Gotta say… I’m disappointed. Give your history of past Sludge April Fools pranks, I expected more from you guys. I loved it when you changed the main page to nothing but an image so that clicking anywhere took you nowhere, or when clicking on links took you to porn pages, or changing the page for a day to Rap Sludge…man, that stuff was good April Fools fun! But putting a blatantly stupid link about the brain-dead drummer from Slaughter getting a Ph.D. from Harvard???? If you had mentioned some small ditzy university in the middle of Buttfuck, Nowhere, it would have been at least a little more believable and convincing. And probably the dead-giveaway was listing an April Fools poll on the side!! What happened to the days when it actually took half a brain to figure out that it was an April Fools gag? Man, even Blas could have figured this one out himself.

-a disappointed Sludgester

I’m glad we wasted your time. It’s exactly what we were shooting for!

Dig your site and enjoy coming back from time-to-time to check in with the world of ROCK!. However, I would like to make one suggestion….. stop using “red” text against the black or very dark backgrounds… Regardless of what resolution this makes for a very hard read because the contrast between the two colors is not good.

Just a suggestion….

- A Fan..

Yeah, sorry about that, but our red-text-on-black is grandfathered in and is part of the offical Metal Sludge style guide. Maybe our marketing committee will address that issue when it’s time for the next revision. Look for news about that in the third quarter of 2008.

Just thought I would drop some praise your way!

Erin Foxs
Senior Editor
The Gauntlet
www.thegauntlet.com

Welcome to planet fucking obvious! But thank you for taking the time to send us comments.

OK, that’s enough of the Metal Sludge MailBag for this time around. I think I’m supposed to be working on a new captures post or something.

I’m out like someone who got clocked in the head with a bottle at a Sebastian Bach show,

bastard boy floyd

Bad joke of the week: Q: Why are pirates so popular? A: They just arrrrrr.