Rotten Roundup for January 2005, 1/31/05

Welcome to Metal Sludge’s Rotten Roundup, an old feature we’re resurrecting from the dead. We did this a few times about 6 years ago, but then we quit for some reason. Anyhow, we’re doing it again, so put on a fucked-up hat or whatever it is you people do when you’re all happy about something.

Each month, we’ll ask one ridiculous question to a random assortment of rock stars and Metal Sludge celebrities, and then we’ll post all their answers here in one spot. We’ll ask the same question to everyone from people who have done 20 Questions with us, people who haven’t done 20 Questions with us, our past Sludgeaholics and Sludgettes of the Year, and all kinds of other friends of Metal Sludge. And a few answers are from people we’ve never even communicated with before! We just hit them up and they replied. Some answers are short, and some go on and on. Some are funny, some are not. You never know what kind of answers we’ll get from people, so it’ll always be a surprise. We’ll mix it up a bit and we might even talk to different people from time to time. So, luckily for you, you now have Metal Sludge’s Rotten Roundup to look forward to at the end of each month.

We’re starting off slowly for January 2005 with a tamer sort of question, and we’ll get progressively more weird as time goes on.

This month’s question is:

“What was the worst restuarant you’ve ever been to? What was so bad about it?”

Rob Affuso, ex-Skid Row:

In the 10 years or so we were touring, we certainly had our share of rotten restaurant food. But I think the place that I remember best was a small Chinese Diner in Vancouver, B.C. ……. yes, “Chinese Diner” (I know….. why did we even go in!) while we were there recording Subhuman Race. It should have been clear to us to run while we had the chance, when listed in large bold letters on thier specials read: MANHATTAN CLAM CHOWDER – FEATURING – FRESH CLAMS FROM MANHATTAN!!

Nina C. Alice, Skew Siskin:

A place called Burger King… The food was moving and the waitress looked like a saussage, squeezed into a salmon pink dress. I left and had a coffee instead.. in some nice cafe.

Mitch Allen, SR-71:

SUSHI ON SUNSET – Los Angeles, California. We were mixing the first SR-71 CD, “Now You See Inside”, at Ocean Way Studio in Hollywood, and one night we decided to order some sushi take out from this place. Now, all my friends loved this Sushi on Sunset so I figured it would be a great dinner experience. Oh, it was an experience alright! About an hour after dinner, I knew something was wrong. I started feeling more than just a buzz from the Sapporo we’d gotten from the Ralph’s supermarket across the street. I ended going back to my hotel within the hour because food poisoning is not a pretty site. My bass player and I were sharing a room at the Roosevelt hotel and basically took turns hugging the fucking toilet and blowing chunks all night. Seriously, I would go in and vomit until there was nothing but green bile coming out of my mouth and the dry heaves were giving me the ab workout of a lifetime. I would crawl… yes… CRAWL back out of the bathroom back to my bed and pass Jeff on the carpet as he was crawling into the bathroom to examine the contents of his digestive track. This went on for 8 hours! There were moments in the night that we actually considered calling 911 because we knew were dying! Well, we survived… barely, but now you know why the record sounds the way it does. Sushi on Sunset has since gone out of business. I guess they almost killed somebody who worked at the health department.

August, Killingbird:

Any Sushi place… it tastes like nothing to me. Give me a fucking White Castle over Sushi any time.

Frankie Banali, Quiet Riot:

Easy, “Casa Del Perro Excelente” in Mexico City while on the Metal Health tour. The meat was terrible, all stringy, but palatable with enough hot sauce and cheese. I later thumbed through a Spanish/English dictionary to find that the restaurant was called “House of Excellent Dog.” Who knew?!

C.C. Banana, 2003 Sludgeaholic of the Year:

I once ate at a “Bo Knows BBQ” restaurant in Florida while on a video shoot during the mid-90s. The meat they served was so rare and the portions so huge, it was like gnawing on a live cow. I have since developed a new appreciation for tofu.

Krys Baratto, ModiFY/ex-Samantha 7:

There is this place in Minneapolis that claims to be the be all to end all of Italian food. It gets all of these top ratings (so they say) of the greatest places in the Cities. I think the place is called like Totinos or Totarios, actually it dosen’t really matter cuz if you don’t live here you wouldn’t go anyhow. They had these dough balls with a piece of hamburger in it that they call a “ravioli”. Top that with a delightful Ragu sauce and you’re right in there! Service was horrible, though the boxed merlot wine was to die for. Oh, you know what? I just thought of this… I’m might have to change it to McDonalds. I went there one time after a two day whirlwind and could have eaten a shoe (again). I forgat my wallet and only had some change in the car. Two Big Macs for a buck- score! Shaking, I inhaled almost a whole one in one bite. When I got to the second bite, I realised there was one of those plastic gloves in there…well now a half of glove. Didn’t dig that.

Jason Becker, Cacophony/David Lee Roth band:

This isn’t an actual restaurant, but the Cheeseboard in Berkeley. It makes good yuppy bread, but they also make pizza which all the yuppies love. I like regular type pizza, so I dry-heaved on pizza with crumbly feta cheese or something like that. Barely any sauce and corn and broccoli. Bleh!

The Blue Meanie:

Fuckin Shoney’s!!………well it’s JUST called Shoney’s but it made me sick as a dog. I was living in Lima, Ohio while I was training to be a wrestler. So a couple of us went there to eat before driving to Kentucky for a show. So I ate whatever the fuck it was and on the way back to the car I puked right in front of the other customers!! That’s the first and ONLY time something I ate in a resteraunt made me hork in public!

Eric Brittingham, Cinderella/Naked Beggars:

A place called PeeWee’s Chili in western Pennsylvania. All they served was their “world famous” chili which can only be described as a few pieces of meat floating in dirty dish water.

Inga Brittingham, Naked Beggars:

This particular restaurant was a favorite late night place of mine until that dreaded night. A few of us in Naked Beggars headed out a day early to a gig to do an early morning interview. (it was a six hour drive, basically) Well, we decided to stop and grab a bite. We ate and hit the road. A few hours later(I was driving), I felt a little queasy. I started to freak, I didn’t know if I had to shit or vomit. I got off the interstate as quick as possible and just made it to a gas station for a little throw-up break. We took back off and and 10 minutes later, I had to throw-up once again. This time I couldn’t wait. We had to pull over about 4 or 5 times. It just would not stop. The greatest thing was, Jeff’s son was with us and he was eating chips and watching me vomit like he was watching television. He said to Jeff once, “Hey I think that was part of a burger.” Needless to say I haven’t eaten at Waffle House since. But I am still tempted to go there!!!

Jacob Bunton, Mars Electric/Lynam:

The worst restaurant that I’ve ever eaten at would have to be Arby’s in Eastwood, AL. They had the door locked at *8:00 at night and they are always opened until 10:00. We knocked on the door and the manager came and let us in. She explained that she had the door locked because she was the only one there and someone had an accident in the bathroom. So, she takes our order and makes our food while still wearing the gloves she was using to clean the bathroom. The whole time she was making our food she was telling us how some guy came in with explosive diarrhea and shit all over the bathroom. 

Billy Childs, Britny Fox:

Anybody touring in the South has probably gotten “piggly-wiggley” at one time or another. Britny played in the South a lot, and this one was in one of the Carolinas. I think it was supposed to be some kind of BBQ pork, and a couple clubs always tried to give us that shit for rider food. I can eat just about anything, but this shit….just looking at it made you hate it. I remember a hepatitus outbreak when we were there once, and I could be wrong but I think they traced it back to piggly-wiggley. Worst ever..

Ethan Collins, ex-White Trash:

Burger King. Is that a restaurant? That stuff gives me diarreah every time. How the hell do you spell diarreah? I hope my spell checker is working.

Alice Cooper:

a place called the ‘hard rock’ (not the hard rock cafe). it’s a mexican restuarant in paris. they put french sauce on the tacos. the french don’t know what a mexican is.

Danny Dangerous, The Zeros:

Jack in the Box…. I might as well wear a depends afterward.

Georg Dolivo, Rhino Bucket:

I ate at a Waffle House somewhere in Colorado early one morning after a typical night with the Bucket. Maybe it was the food. Maybe it was the massive amount of hot sauce. Maybe it was the stupid amount of booze the night before but about 30 minutes later down the highway I started to fell a mighty rumble in the tummy. I screamed to the road manager to get me to a restroom NOW. So he, being the good man that he was, floored it. As my body doubled over in a pain over the oncoming shit, I heard the siren and realized that we were being pulled over for speeding. As the cop was taking his sweat ass time writing out the ticket I was standing on the side of the road, in the middle of the morning wondering what exactly the fine would be for dropping my pants and dislodging the pain right there. After what seemed to be an eternity, we were back on he road and in no time I was in the process of shutting down the local public restroom. I believe I cleared out the entire truck stop for when I came out the band were all in the van, grinning from ear to ear and asking if I wanted another fine meal from the Waffle House. I said, “Never again,” and I have never ever set a foot into a Waffle House again.

Kevin DuBrow, Quiet Riot:

International House of Pancakes AKA Intestinal Home of Shit. Every time I eat there they fuck up my order, the food is cold and taste like Courtney Love’s pussy lips (or so I hear)

David Ellefson, F5/ex-Megadeth:

The worst restaurant is, without a doubt, the WAFFLE HOUSE Restaurants, otherwise referred to as the “AWFUL HOUSE”. The visual you get with their greasy spoon kitchens, the lumbering chefs cooking your eggs and those vile tasting cheese grits makes for something much less than a fine dining experience indeed. Even the toast tastes bad.

Joel Ellis, ex-Cats In Boots/Heavy Bones:

“So I gave her back the scooped out bucket’O eggs goop right back all over her shoes” Can you say..salmonella tomaine rot gut IHOP poisoning? Please tell me if anyone out there has ever heard of “Bucket ‘O Scooped eggs at IHOP before? or was I …. in the twilight zone?

O.k., but here’s a good memory… one night at The Great Greek in L.A…I was out with a beautiful friend of mine you might remember from Playboy fame Peggy Trantini and a dozen other friends. We got two bottles of Sambuca and poured a few huge rounds of Sambuca shots at a long table set up with white linen table clothes and large white linen napkins. Many tall candles adorned the length of the table as Peggy and I and all of our friends leaned in to make another toast…somehow the Sambuca started to fly and well…it caught fire and thats when Peggy grabbed a napkin and thought she’d put it out by swatting at the flames. Within a few minutes the whole damn table was up in flames and the waiters were yelling OOPA!!! OOPA!!! You’ve seen Roman candles? Molotav cocktails? well… Light a bottle of Sambuca sometime and you’ll see a Greek cannon go off like we did that night… it was beautiful… little flying balls of fire on the ceiling, the floor, the table, in Peggy’s hair…. everywhere, she was never more beautiful. But alchohol burns off eventually and we still got to do our shots.

Jackie Enx, Rhino Bucket:

Sizzler… I guess I’m not real good with the butter sauce that they give you with that thing they called a Lobster… my apologies to the lady with the red sweater… I really didn’t mean to get sick all over you…

Troy Patrick Farrell, Mike Tramp’s White Lion/Fastmaster:

I’ve been pretty fortunate in my food travels, but back in 2001 on the Tramp Solo Tour, we ate at alot of Waffle Houses (now known as the Awful House)… I think I got a nasty piece of hair in my breakfast? that’s always a treat?

Marc Ferrari, ex-Keel/Cold Sweat:

A long-forgotten Mexican restaurant in Sweden…. come on, how could that even be close to being good Mexican?

Glenn “Archie” Gamble, Helix/Popjoy:

That would have to be the canteen at the Home For Compulsive Masturbators (yes, I was a patient! I was committed by band mates, against my will)

Why? All the food was stuck together! And that white salty gravy was gross!

Ginger, The Wildhearts/Brides of Destruction:

I just got food poisoning at a bar/restaurant in Boracay, Philippines, called “Willy’s,” over Xmas/New Year. Great bar. Bad, bad oysters. Spent two days in paradise trapped in a fucking bed, running to the toilet with just enough time to figure out which exit to go for. Had me on a drip, with regular extra glucose injections, to replenish lost fluids. Puking and shitting with inhuman regularity while all my mates were having the best time of their lives out on the beach. A mollusc smaller than my fist gave me the biggest kicking of my life. When I eventually got better someone told me “don’t eat oysters before or after a storm.” The Tsunami had just hit nearby, and you don’t get much more of a storm than that, right? Never, ever forget this advice, readers. Nothing sucks more than food poisoning. Nothing. Stick to fries if there’s even as much as a fucking dark cloud in the sky.

Alex Grossi, Quiet Riot:

I ate at some seafood restaurant in Brazil, while on tour last year and got REALLY sick on some Oysters, I ended up in the Hospital and almost missed my 20 hour flight home, I don’t remember the name of the actual restaurant, but Fuck them anyway. Also, pretty much every Hooters I have ever been to is pretty bad.

Tracii Guns, Brides of Destruction/L.A. Guns:

It was a restaraunt called VIBE. It was very fancy hotel restaraunt in Sydney Australia last year while on tour with the Brides. Kristen and I were fucking starving so we went down there and ordered a couple of the work, disgusting, tough and fatty steak sandwich possible. We each took a bite and said fuck this. We then asked for the check and waitress was taking forever so we bailed on the check… Later that night the room service people knocked on Sixx’ room and asked him why he dashed on the check, he told them he didnt do it. Then we were on our way to the gig and the waitress was in the hallway, looked at us and smiled…… NO CLUE!!!!!!!!

Moral of the Story,,,,,, If you dont know what you are ordering then dont get it.

Joe Normal Hutchinson, The Zeros:

Rock n Roll Denny’s on Sunset Boulevard. What ever it was, it was so bad that they had to shut it down.

Alex Kane, AntiProduct/ex-Life Sex & Death:

I was small child living in Chicago and this is when my parents were still together. My Dad, who was the consummate asshole, had some weird torture vibe this one day when we were out. I remember ordering a burger and putting some ketchup on it. Now mind, I’m like 7 here, right, and I don’t know how much ketchup I want on a burger, I just want some fucking ketchup. So my asshole Dad, takes my burger, pulls off the bun, and laughingly, pours the whole bottle of ketchup over the burger going, “Well, maybe you’d like it better with a whole bottle of ketchup.” Mom’s sitting there in stunned silence as she watches both her marriage and her only son’s confidence going up in smoke next to each other. I didn’t eat the burger then, saying there was too much ketchup on it (I’m seven here, remember), so the bastard father thing eats the burger while I’m sitting there with my little empty and humiliated tummy rumbling away. Maybe I’ve said too much… I once ate a donut out of someone’s mouth. Does that count?

Sean Kelly, Crash Kelly:

Captain Taco in Cleveland is by far the worst restuarant I’ve ever eaten at. Mexican food is an area where you don’t want to feel dodgy about what you’re eating, for various internal reasons! Anyway, the food was so bad that our drummer actually reurned it, proclaiming it inedible… the waitress responded by saying “I’m so sorry… actually, a lot of people tell us that!”

We’re a pretty loose Rock N Roll band, but that night on stage we were doing our best to be anal retentive!

Tricky Lane, ex-Sweet F.A.:

Wok’s Cookin. Whatever Wok was cooking had me cooking up something really soon afterwards. Not good.

Josh Lewis, ex-Warrant:

Some little Mexican hole in the wall in Glendale, near Glendale High. Don’t know the name but the food was good until I saw the floors were covered with maggots. No Bueno.

Mandy Lion, WWIII:

Musso and Frank on Hollywood Blvd. That shit tastes like hospital food. Horrible! Plus the waiters there are so old when they were kids they had Dinosaurs as pets. You are lucky if they even take your order before they croak.

Eric Martin, ex-Mr. Big/TMG:

It was a Mexican restaurant up north called ” La Imperial”; actually it was one of my favorite places to go until that fateful day… summer of 83′. I dipped a chip in the sauce and a band-aid floated to the top. I was so freaked out that I went back to the kitchen to complain and I got an eyeful of the staff stomping on cockroaches as well. What a drag, they had great burritos.

Soichi Masuda, 2002 Sludgeaholic of the Year:

Japan: Some Chinese restaurant (Don’t remember the name.) I ate at Yokohama China Town a long time ago (Maybe 15years ago). I had to use same small plate for all kinds of different foods and I was charged $200 at that time. Even I complained but the Chef and the waiters did not care and listen to me. Next time I was passing by after a few month later, they closed, bankrupted. Completely Dumbasses

USA: I was in San Francisco about 7-8 years ago for my business junket trip. I was so tired I had to translate all the English for Japanese reprographic business people all day at EXPO and had to explain what we had to do to them like a tour guide. I even have to take care of them when they were at a shopping mall. I was a fucking guest!! Of course a Japanese tour guide was there, but he could not understand some professional reprographic words in English. So stressed, I decided to eat and drink alone at night. But I was a stranger in Frisco. I looked in a lot of restaurants and tried to find some good restaurant. Finally I thought I found good one. All the GUYS wore nice suits and shirts, looked rich, I decided to get in and ordered a glass of beer and some foods. GUYS winked and came up to me and asked about my business and my personal things. They were gentlemen and I felt very comfortable. They told me they were lawyers, accountants, hair dressers and some cool business they were in. An hour later, some GUY started to say ‘OK, we are going to go to Steve’s house. You want to come, Mr. Masuda?’ I almost said YES. But I looked around the whole of restaurant, no women, only GUYS. I finally could figure out its homosexual community restaurant (bar). What a slow guy I was! I suddenly said to them, ‘OMG!! Its almost 10:30! I had to go back to Westin by 11pm.’ I paid, gave tips to the waiter and left the place. Ran and jumped like Spiderman. Then I went to Burger King. At the hotel Japanese people I was with wondering why I looked so pale. Well not the worst restaurant food and service were very good, but I had a terrible experience. I still remember the name of the place, but I should not say it. Some guys were looking good, I thought gay people are ugly people girls don’t approach. It was my fault that I went that kind of restaurant, sorry guys! I am not against gay people, I don’t care talking with them and drink with them. Its their things. I noticed gay people love me when I was an university student in Tokyo. I was fooling around Shinjuku 2-chome, a lot of those people approached me so I decided to go with girl(s)whenever I had to go there for some reason and shit like that (even now). I was slim, a long haired, big eyebrow but I cant have a moustache and beard, no hair on chest either. I don’t want to go to Middle East countries, haha. Next time I will be in USA, if gay people come to me, I will say ‘Oh, I am SOTY of 2002, I have to sleep with Olivia tonight, Tina Lu tomorrow, ThisChickRocks next, Amanda next, Charee next, final night Jim Bob, CC Banana, Smiling Mike for circle jerk!! (Nate, you can join if you want to!) Oops final night was my mistake! But ladies, please say ‘Yes I will.’ to them (I mean lie to them). I am begging you! Plus $100 reward! LOL.

My answer is done.

Chris McLernon, ex-Saigon Kick:

Picture your arse as a wood chipper. In the loading section of the chipper goes food from this ex-restaurant here in Charleston called The Mongolian BBQ. You get your food from several bins, containing vegetables, spices and some sort of animal flesh. Could be beef, could be Marmoset. On a round “grill” they cook up what now looks like your neighbor’s garbage. They serve it to you in a giant bowl. Twenty minutes later you are sprinting for the bathroom, and the business end of the food chipper goes into high gear. You might as well take your plate and throw it in the toilet, therefore cutting out the middleman.

Punky Mendoza, ex-Heavy Pettin:

The worst restaurant I’ve been to in my life was a place called Hooka Palooka’s Pizza Palace. I found pubic hairs in my garlic mushrooms and I made a public outcry about it. The manager didn’t like this and escorted me off the premises. I later found out that one of the kitchen staff, a girl, was a Pettin fan. I guess she was trying to tell me something.

Matt Mercado, Supermercado/ex-Mind Bomb:

I would say no matter how bad the restaurant, it could NEVER compare to my bad cooking! I’ve made some dishes that bring a tear to my eye when I have to eat them. I guess I could just dump it and go to a bad restaurant, but I’m lazy and they’re starving in many countries. They probably wouldn’t eat my cooking either, my dog won’t!

Now to answer your question: The worst restaurant I’ve eaten at was a rib joint on the west side of Chicago called “Mr. Piggy’s.” Rotten ribs, both my friend and myself had to agree, the worst food we ever ate~!

Darrell “Dwarf” Millar, Killer Dwarfs/ex-Laidlaw:

MacDonald’s (Edinborough, Scotland)- I very rarely eat at Mickey D’s these days, but in the 80’s it was a regular stop. They do things a little different in the UK. What I was told is that they cook the MacDonald’s food with a peanut oil of some kind. I ordered a Big Mac and fries and it had the weirdest flavor. Crap as I remember it. It was a shock to taste a completely different MacDonald’s. One thing you can count on with MacDonald’s is, you know what your getting where ever you are for the most part… and this wasn’t it.

Amanda Moeckel, 2002 Sludgette of the Year:

I don’t care what anyone says… Hard Rock Cafe is the most overrated restaurant around. And I’ve given it many chances. I WANT it to be good, goddammit! But everything I’ve ever ordered there tastes like air- the dry pasta, the tasteless vegetables, the stale bread, the salad, the watered-down drinks. WTF? They put absolutely NO effort into the food. The only redeeming quality of this restaurant is their occasional play of obscure metal videos like Rainbow in the Dark.

Pat Muzingo, Junkyard:

That would have to be Miceli’s on Las Palmas in Hollywood. Its not that the food is bad it’s just the major cockroach problem they have (or used to have) there. One night I was out on a date with this girl and she was telling me all about being a born again Christian, not believing in sex before marriage, blah blah blah, then a cockroach went right across her Fettuccini Alfredo! They were cool about it and comped our meal. Of course I proceeded to drink as much booze as possible. Oh yeah, I ended up marrying (then later on divorcing) that girl. We are still great friends and sometimes laugh about the whole Born Again Christian thing.

Wendell Neeley, The Classic Metal Show:

Bob’s Big Boy, Coldwater Michigan. The place was a filthy dump. The service was terrible, and the food was just as awful. I couldn’t even finish my meal.

Marty O’Brien, Tommy Lee’s Methods of Mayhem:

Two weeks ago… California Pizza Kitchen outside the Beverly Center, here in LA. Finished my food, then I notice staring at me on this little shelf next to me was a cockroach. Nasty. Yes folks, there are cockroaches in Beverly Hills.

Eddie Ojeda, Twisted Sister:

It was definitely in London England I ordered some eggs and hash browns in some grease hole I cant remember the name of. I ordered 2 eggs sunny side up and the eggs along with the hash browns were swimming in grease. When I say swimming I mean a fucking pool of grease there was like half an inch of grease on the plate I could not believe it so I did a Bill Murray and asked the waiter if he could bring me an extra plate of grease on the side. I just ended up eating the toast and that sucked too.

Roxy Petrucci, Titania/ex-Vixen:

I’ve heard that Sludge’s Diner serves up quite a smorgasbord of tantalizing Tater Twats, Asiago Ass and the ever popular Balls across the Nose… Bone Appetit’

Kane Roberts, ex-Alice Cooper:

It was Marie Callenders in Sherman Oaks California. But it has nothing to do with the food. Alice Cooper and I had just finished writing with Bob Ezrin so we went to Callenders to have a late night snack. As we waited for our order we suddenly heard gunshots from the front of the restaurant. Some guys were robbing the place. All hell broke loose and bullets were flying everywhere. Although we escaped without injury, at one point Alice and I were the targets of one of the shooters. We counted (and this number has never changed) a total of 7 bullets were directed towards us. Evidently the guy was a lousy shot. The robbers were apprehended later that night. As a side note I did return to the restaurant and finished my pie.

Iann Robinson, former MTV VJ:

The worst restaurant I’ve ever eaten at was 7A in NYC. The food was never cooked well and the service was by hipster shitheads who thought it’d be cool to give attitude. Fucking Lame.

Rikki Rockett, Poison:

Without a doubt, McDonald’s! In fact, I’m embarrassed that I ever ate there! They are responsible for the slaughter of millions and millions of animals every year. Their food is extremely low in any nutritional value and in fact is harmful. They are killing the environment. They spend over two billion dollars in advertising a year to influence people to buy into their crap. They spend millions in legal funds to defend their image and to intimidate and silence people to not speak out against them. Now they are financially bullying their way into hospitals to up their public image when in fact their food is obviously not the best thing sick people should be eating. Hell, they even sponsor sporting events. The message? Eat a fat cheeseburger and win the game? Has the public lost it’s fucking mind? Tell me, what is so fuckin’ happy about a Happy Meal?

Amy “Stalker Jr.” Romano, 2003 Sludgette of the Year:

I don’t think I’ve ever eaten at a place I wouldn’t want to eat at. I don’t like Chili’s though. I guess it’s alright, but not high on my list. So every restaurant I’ve eaten at I’ve enjoyed. But being inspired by a thread on the Sludge Lounge, all fast food joints give me the shits. KFC, Taco Bell, Burger King, Wendys, Quiznos, etc…. Sure the food sometimes tastes good, but I don’t think it’s worth it. Plus it aint all that good for you anyhow. I ain’t prissy and think my shit don’t stank, but it gives me the shits and I don’t feel so good after I eat it either. It is comedy though to see the look of horror on people’s faces has you exit the bathroom… “Do not go in there! WHEW!!”

Billy Rowe, American Heartbreak/ex-Jetboy:

Mc Donalds ……. it’s just fuckin’ terrible food !!! if you can call that food ??? is that food ??

Jamie Rowe, London Calling/Guardian:

Guardian ate at this restaurant in Texas called “The Kettle” and some of us got sick afterward. We coined a phrase called “Kettle Shock” that became the “pull over now… I gotta go” keyword. It wasn’t so much the food tasting poor… it was the subsequent series of mudslides that it generated.

Sammy Serious, The Zeros:

i do not eat at bad resturants so i woulden’t know

Acey Slade, Trashlight Vision/Murderdolls:

When i was on tour with the Murderdolls we played in Zegreb, Coratia. Now this place makes some of the down and out steel mill towns here in the US look like Disneyland. But right behind our ‘Shining’ like hotel (huge fuckin’ hotel…. and like… 3 people other than us were in it) was a Mexican resturant. ‘Mexican! Bad Ass!’ A little tase of home for the LA guys and a welcome change from the normal Eastern European food also known as ‘Sweaty Meat’ for my East Coast ass. Well…. let me tell you this. It’s risky eating Mexican at resturants that are on the same continent, let alone in Eastern Europe.

Smilin’ Mike, 2004 Sludgeaholic of the Year

I personally can’t remember a restaurant that I ate at that was terrible or that would make me remember how much it sucked, but years ago, I was working in a Mexican restaurant as a busboy when I was in school, and this lady eating dinner started to scream, so I ran over there to see what was going on, and she had a fucking live cockroach in her sour cream! Needless to say, I don’t think she ever came back lol.

Eddie Spaghetti, The Supersuckers:

I gotta go with McDonalds, even though it’s kind of the best in a way as well. I always find myself giving in to the McCrap in France where the food is so good but the menus are too daunting to deal with when you have a hangover. You might be in the mood for a nice steak and eggs sort of thing and, one mispronounced word later, you’ve got brains and liver pate on your hands. I guess it’s still not as gross as a hamburger patty made from the meat of a thousand different cows but hey, I’m from America and we don’t even flinch at that sort of thing! Still, I really don’t eat there if I can help it. Giving them my hard earned dollar just feels wrong – they are evil incarnate. And not the good kind, either.

Jasmin St. Claire:

TGIF’S in Cherry Hill, NJ. What was so bad about it? The service was awful. The waiter never brought the food to us after it was sitting there for 30 minutes. He messed up everyone’s order and never brought us any water after 15 minutes of being there. The restaurant was not even that busy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The manager was just as bad. For NJ, the staff was rather stuffy. For fuck’s sake, it’s a Friday’s in some small town.

Jaime St. James, Warrant/Black ‘N Blue:

It would have to be a McDonalds (if you can call that a restaurant) in Oregon when I was about 16 years old. We were coming home from a gig and stopped in. Everybody else said there was something wrong with the fries, but I ate all mine and most of theirs too! The next morning I was blowing potatoes through every hole in my face, (food poisoning!) The topper was my poor dads method of cleanup………. he vacuumed it.

Sharon & Tamar, 2004 Sludgettes of the Year:

Sharon: Good Earth (Northridge, CA) Air fries and tofutti are edible. The tea they make there makes the whole place smell like a cinnamon ass. The food is either too bland, or just plain weird tasting. Next time I want healthy food, I’ll go to Whole Foods or cook something myself.

Tamar: Killer Shrimp (Studio City, CA) Tacky d?cor (much like a Denny’s cafeteria), limited menu (killer shrimp and bread, killer shrimp and pasta or killer shrimp and rice) and expensive at around $15.00 a plate. The shrimp tastes good, but it’s too much of a good thing… Very oily. A friend of mine went there and the food had him on the toilet, “sweating like Al Sharpton at a klan rally.”

Mike Tramp, White Lion:

During the recording of Pride, in Los Angeles 1987. The band went to a Mexican restaurant some where on Ventura Boulevard. I have forgotten the name. But from the second we sat down at the table and till we ran out of the place. It was the worst dinning experience I ever were part of. All our food orders were wrong, the waiters were rude beyond anything. They came around the table and just threw crackers and forks and knives on the table, serious attitude all the way. I think we attempted three times to order a simple frozen Margarita, but each one the brought, were worse than the other. When we finally paid our bill. We left one dollar in pennies as a tip and as sign of how displeased we were with their service. When we were walking to our car, the waiters came running out and threw all the pennies at us, while screaming every Mexican profanity at us. Hey what did we do wrong?

Joe Lynn Turner, Hughes-Turner Project/ex-Rainbow/Yngwie Malmsteen/etc., etc.:

OK… SO WE WERE IN BUDAPEST ON TOUR WITH HTP… ITS A NIGHT OFF AND THE PROMOTER WANTS TO TAKE ALL OF US … BAND AND CREW … OUT TO DINNER… HE DECIDES TO TAKE US TO A “THEME” RESTURANT… “MEDEVIL KNIGHTS”… OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT… ITS DECORATED IN OLD ENGHLISH CASTLE AND DUNGEON STYLE… LONG WOODEN TABLES… TANKARDS OF ALE… THE STAFF DRESSED UP IN TIME PERIOD CLOTHING… YOU GET THE IDEA…… GLENN AND I ARE A BIT SUSPECT OF THIS PLACE WHEN WE WALK IN.. SO WE GET SOMETHING SIMPLE OFF THE MENU… CHICKEN AND FRUIT MIX, SERVED IN GIGANTIC PORTIONS ON ENORMOUS PEWTER PLATES, BUT THE REST OF THE GUYS GO CRAZY GETTING WILD BOAR, DEER, RABBIT, BULL TESTICLES AND OTHER ASSORTED WIERD FOODS!… SO WE DRINK AND EAT… THE STAFF PUTS ON A MOCK SWORD FIGHT… I ARM WRESTLE SOME KNAVE WHO CHALLANGES ME… IM SURE HE LET ME WIN…THEN THIS DESSERT COMES THAT GLENN AND I WOULDNT EAT WITH YOUR MOUTH!… THE BAND AND CREW EAGERLY FINISH THE GIGANTIC PLATE, WASHING IT DOWN WITH MORE ALE, WINE, BEER AND WHISKEY… NOW WERE READY TO HIT THE CLUBS AND HAVE A FUN NIGHT OUT , RIGHT?… WRONG!!!… ABOUT AN HOUR LATER SOME OF THE GUYS ARE THROWING UP, HAVE FEVER AND ARE RUNNING TO THE BATHROOM!!!!!!!!!… THEY WERE ALL SICK EXCEPT FOR GLENN AND I!… I MEAN EVERYONE!… IT WAS A SIGHT TO BEHOLD!… ALL THESE GUYS PUKEING, POOPING AND DOUBLED OVER IN PAIN!!!… THEY ALL LOOKED WASHED OUT AND LIFELESS FOR THE NEXT COUPLE OF DAYS!….WE COULD ONLY FIGURE IT MUST HAVE BEEN THE DESSERT SINCE THAT WAS THE ONE COMMON FOOD THEY ALL HAD EATEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! —-JLT

Brian Vollmer, Helix:

The restaurant beside The Agora Ballroom in Cleveland Ohio, 1989. Some guy jumped up in the middle of breakfast and started blasting holes in the ceiling with a very large gun. My brother-in-law, who just happened to be out with us that particular week, nearly shit his pants.

Wednesday 13:

Near my house there was a corner gas station/diner called “Hectors Place” or “Rauls House” something like that. I had some potato wedges that tasted like they were cooked in vomit as opossed to cooking oil. I still remember the taste to this day…. I think i might vomit right now talking about it.

Michael Weikath, Helloween:

Well it was for sure a chinese restaurant in Indonesia… the staff were great, and the food itself was SUPERB but well, there was a rat running round in the back room we could see at the far side from our table, Stefan and Sascha noticed something moving back there, and well it wasn’t the first time. We told the staff, so they could be on guard and well one waiter rushed there taking a broom on the way, looking around enraged but didn’t find anything hahahaha

Zinny J. Zan, Zan Clan/ex-Shotgun Messiah:

Back in London some years ago I ate at a restaurant where they served Rosted Grasshoppers, Snake, spiders and all kinds of weird stuff, I had to try it but I will never do it again. Can?t remember the name of the Restaurant which pretty much says it all.